Just Pretending: Chapter 35

Why did I think being alone with my thoughts out in the woods was a good idea? How come after a couple of hundred dollars in supplies, I still didn’t have a can opener? Camping was not some skill I was going to learn, overnight, on my own. This had been a bad idea. What was I thinking? I had been thinking that I was going away to a fully furnished cabin, with electricity and running water.

Seth showed me around the yurt. It was a musty and moldy-smelling tent. There was no indoor plumbing. He explained how the facilities on the property worked, demonstrated the generator, and then he abandoned me. I never once announced that I changed my mind. I didn’t tell him to take me home. It was dark, it was cold, and I was all alone with my bad ideas and stubbornness. At least I had a wall around me protecting me from the elements, and other things out there in the dark.

The inside of the yurt was mostly dry, but not warm. The generator made more noise than anything else, and it was stinky. I didn’t leave it on for heat afraid the carbon monoxide would smother me to death.

After a miserable night of barely any sleep, I decided to get up and explore my immediate surroundings. I had no grand plans for hiking or anything like that. I wanted to remember where the bathroom was, and find out how soon I could take a shower. I was greatly disappointed there was no shower option. The options I had were limited. There was a composting toilet, a pump for cold well water that was good enough to wash my hands in, but I should definitely boil it if I wanted warm water to wash with, or cook with. What I had thought was a quaint outdoor cooking area in the dark, was a small stove I had to hook up to the generator, and a fire pit. There were no pots or pans, only a kettle.

I understood why Seth had made sure I purchased special toilet paper and paper towels.

My first meal camping out was not a complete loss. I managed to boil water for tea, and I ate one of the pulled pork sandwiches from the cooler.

I was ready to leave before the end of day one. I was tired, I couldn’t get the smell from the damp tent and blankets out of my nose. I was not cut out for this adventure of solitude and self-reflection. I decided to call Charlie to come and rescue me. I’d tell him stories about my mom and let him feed me pulled pork sandwiches. I couldn’t find my phone. Was it in Seth’s car? Had I left it at the studio?

The gas for the generator ran out much sooner than I expected. I wasn’t running it for hours at a time, at least I didn’t think so. Time escaped me. I had no idea how long I had before I should eat lunch, or really how to determine if I had enough food for the few days I would be alone. I was well into my jar of peanut butter before I discovered there was no means of opening the cans of tuna fish I had bought.

I wanted to go home, and I couldn’t call Francine to send Seth to come to pick me up. With my rations almost gone, I didn’t bother to get out of bed. I ate uncooked ramen noodles and stayed in bed for hours, or maybe it was days. I could no longer tell the difference between the smelly tent and smelly me.

Holding a half-empty bottle of an energy drink, I stared listlessly at the wall. I thought I was hallucinating when I heard tires crunch on the gravel and dirt drive. Sitting up, I waited for more sounds. Had Seth finally come back for me?

“Harleigh?”

My heart skipped a beat and began racing. It wasn’t Seth, it was Devin’s rich voice calling my name. Warmth flooded my system. I was saved. I rushed to my feet and unfastened the door to the yurt. The bright sun hit my eyes. I flinched, tossing my arm up to block the light.

I blinked a few times, trying to clear my vision, but something wasn’t right. I wasn’t right. The world tilted.

It wasn’t exactly a dream, but I was aware that I was asleep. I was somewhere safe and warm. The bed was comfortable and didn’t smell of mold and straw. I nestled down against my fresh-scented pillow and let my body sink back into sleep.

I slowly became aware of my surroundings as I woke up. The first thing I noticed was the smell. My nose was no longer full of musty dank old tents. Instead, I could smell antiseptic and cleaner fluid. There was a steady whir of sound, and soft beeps. I was on smooth sheets and in soft clothing. Someone lightly snored nearby.

I let my eyes drift open, recognizing my surroundings immediately. I was in a hospital bed. There was an IV taped to the back of my hand. The lights were dimmed, based on the orange light coming through the slats of the blinds I guessed it was near sunset.

I turned to see who was sleeping next to me. Devin. A sense of safety washed over me having him near. His brow furrowed. Even in sleep he glowered and looked fierce. I wasn’t sure if I should wake him. The recliner didn’t look comfortable, but he managed to sleep. He looked rough, dark shading around his eyes, scruff on his jaw. His hair was longer and hung in his face. I tried to reach out for his hand, but he was a few inches too far away.

I scoffed, wasn’t it always that way with him?

He shifted, made an undignified sound, and jerked upright. His eyes flew open. “Harleigh!”

“I’m right here,” I said.

He exhaled with a rush of air. A smile slowly spread across his face. “You are a sight for sore eyes.”

“You look like crap,” I teased.

“And you are beautiful.”

“But I don’t smell so good.”

He opened his mouth to say something, but he was interrupted by a soft tapping at the door.

“You’re awake,” the nurse said as she stepped into the room. “How are you feeling?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know.” I was glad to no longer be stuck alone in that stinky tent.

“Let me check your vitals, and then why don’t we get you to the bathroom, and you can see if you need to pee. After that, if the doctor says yes, we’ll try you out with a popsicle, before working up to fluids by mouth.”

Blood pressure, temperature, oxygen levels, she ran through her list, and then she worked on unhooking my IV from one rack to another one.

I felt wobbly as I tried to stand up. I don’t know how he did it, but a second later Devin was by my side, supporting me.

With his help, I made it to the bathroom. He kissed me on the temple and left me in the nurse’s care. Once I finished what I needed to I walked slowly back to the bed.

“Why am I so weak?” I complained.

“You were pretty dehydrated when you came in. You’ll feel better soon enough.”

I turned my attention to Devin, he watched her leave. As soon as she was gone, he was by my side and lowering the bed rail. He sat on the bed and pulled me into his arms, the best he could with my IV.

“How did you find me?”

“Traced your phone,” he answered.

“Where was it? I lost it.”

“Your buddy, Seth had it in his car. It must have fallen under the passenger seat. I think I scared him demanding to know what he did to you.”

“Oh, no, you didn’t? Why are you here? Why now?” I didn’t want to hope that he had come for me. I knew in my gut that it had to be something else, but I wanted him to be there for just me.

Another knock had Devin releasing me and standing next to the bed when the doctor came in.

“You look like you are feeling better. Everything looks good with the baby. We’re going to see how you tolerate food by mouth. I’m going to keep you on the fluids. If you are keeping food down, we’ll probably let you out of here in the morning.”

We both thanked him as he left.

“A baby, huh?” he didn’t say anything else. He looked worn down and worried.

I nodded. “I wanted to tell you. But… I wasn’t going to have some lawyer tell you. I wanted to tell you myself. How did you find out?”

“Sanderson told me.”

I blinked and tilted my head. “Mr. Sanderson? But I didn’t say anything to him.”

Devin shook his head, and bit his lower lip. “He knew. He also knew that I was miserable without you and too stupid to figure it out on my own.”

I giggled. “I never thought I’d see you ever admit to being stupid about anything. Devin Hopper is always right, you’re always the smartest man in the room.”

He shook his head. “Not when it comes to you. I clearly don’t know what being in love is like. I missed all the signs. Around you I’m stupid, and the happiest I’ve ever been.”

“You’re in love with me?” I could barely believe what he was saying. “That makes my father forcing you to marry me probably the nicest thing he’s ever done for me. I didn’t think you wanted me.”

“I didn’t,” the sound he made was like pain. “That all changed. I can barely function without you. I stayed away because you didn’t want me either.”

“That’s not true.”

“How long have you been in love with me?” He asked.

“Devin,” I sighed. “That’s not a fair question.”

As he moved, I thought he was going to sit on the bed again, instead, he stretched out next to me. He had to wrap completely around me. There was barely enough room for both of us. We were closer than spoons stacked in a drawer. I relaxed back against his chest.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m not letting you go.” He squirmed, and then he captured my hand. He slid a heart-shaped ruby ring onto my finger.

“You are my wife, this is your ring. That’s my heart, it is yours forever.” He pointed at the ring and then pulled my hand back so he could kiss my knuckles.

I twisted, looking back over my shoulder so I could see his face. He pressed his lips to mine. I untwisted and held his hand where I could see and touch his fingers.

“I can’t say exactly when was the first time I fell in love with you. But I’ve fallen in and out of love with you so many times. The real problem is I never actually stop loving you.”

“Good, that will make convincing you to stay married all the easier.” He pressed his lips against my ear and whispered. “I love you. Stay married to me.”

I hugged Devin’s hands to my chest and pressed back into him as if I could pull his arms tighter around me.

“I will,” I whispered back.