Chapter 33

Finn

It’s two days after leaving that journal entry for Professor Winslow, and I finally feel free of the raging anger I’ve been carrying for two years.

I thought I’d be eaten alive with the drive to see Ty’s reaction, to feel his pain as a balm to my own, but instead, my chest feels a thousand pounds lighter.

It’s not my secret to carry anymore, not my burden to bear. We share DNA. It’s a scientific fact, and for the first time since discovering it, I don’t feel like it defines me.

I skipped class this morning to avoid popping the bubble and have been gliding on a high ever since.

Now, tonight, with Scottie tucked close as we dance to the heavy beat of Alpha Pi’s DJ, I feel damn near like I can do anything.

Hands in her hair and her body pressed to mine, I explore her mouth like there’s new territory to be discovered. She melts under my caress, giving her mouth over to me without hesitation. Right now, I’m convinced I could die without ever tasting another thing and still leave this earth satisfied.

I take a hard jolt to the back, jostling both of us forward on the crowded dance floor and bowling us into Kayla and Blake, who are dancing right next to us. It’s a casualty of the tightness of the crowd—at least, that’s what I assume at first. But when Kayla points over my shoulder with an uncharacteristic glare in her eye, I reconsider.

Dane and Nadine are there, dancing close, but his hard eyes are on the ass of the girl he let get away, and they are on fire. I hold his eyes with mine, moving a possessive hand to flesh that sticks out just below the leather of her shorts.

Dane shoves Nadine to the side and storms away, and I smile to myself over the small victory. I’m not normally the type to flaunt a relationship for cheap thrills, but that motherfucker deserves every cocksucking thing he gets.

Scottie pushes away, unaware of the encounter.

Still, her abnormally red eyes search mine with a deep, undeniable yearning for something I’m not even sure exists. If it did, I wouldn’t hesitate to give it to her.

“You okay?” I ask as she looks back at Kayla and Blake and then over to me. When she doesn’t say anything—doesn’t even seem to hear me—I try again with her name. “Scottie?”

“I’m going to head to the bathroom real quick,” she rushes out. “Be right back.”

She doesn’t wait for a response or a reaction before spinning out of my arms and shoving through Kayla and Blake and then Ace and Julia behind them to get out of the pulsing crowd. Kayla’s eyebrows draw together, but I nod and hold up a hand in a silent acknowledgment that I plan to follow her.

Several girls and a couple guys say hellos and call out for my attention as I make my way down the hallway, but I don’t bother with more than a jerk of my chin for any of them.

Scottie closes the door to the bathroom at the end of another long hall, just as I’m rounding the corner. I walk slowly, stopping outside and resting against the wall to wait for her to come out.

She looks upset when she does and, more than that, absolutely shaken to see me. Her red contacts are out now, and her eyes look a little bloodshot. Maybe because she’s upset or maybe because they were bothering her—I’m not sure.

“Finn?”

“Hey. Sorry I followed you. Just wanted to make sure you were all right.”

Her eyes are a glistening green of unshed tears in an instant. I feel like shit immediately.

“Fuck, Scottie.” I grab her hand and pull her down the hall to one of the bedrooms, closing the door behind us and locking it before ushering her over to the bed. She sits down on the end of it, and I squat down in front of her.

“Tell me what’s wrong, and I swear I’ll do everything I can to fix it.”

Her breathing, already heavy, turns nearly ragged as a tear escapes, carving a path down her perfect cheek. I catch it at the bottom of her chin.

“Finn. It’s…” She shakes her head. “I just don’t know…”

In an instant, it hits me. I’m the problem. After everything I’ve put her through in the last two months, I’ve spent the entire night yanking her head in another direction yet again.

I haven’t meant to. I just…feel different.

Sliding my hands into her hair, I tilt her head back enough that her eyes meet mine, pressing my lips to hers just once, softly. “I’m sorry,” I say an inch away from her mouth, rubbing my thumbs on the gentle line of her jaw. “I know I’ve been unbearable.”

She tries to shake her head, but I stop her with light pressure to her jaw.

“You broke my heart that day at Ace’s dad’s office…when you told me I was worse than Dane.” She winces, but I keep going. “But you were right. Maybe I didn’t put my hands on you or yank you around, but I’ve been rough with you too. With your emotions, with your peace of mind. I’ve been an asshole.”

“Finn.”

“I know I haven’t given you a reason to believe in me.” I shake my head, unable to explain it all properly. “But I finally feel…ready. I know it won’t make sense to you, but for the past two years, I feel like I’ve been living in blackness. A dark so intense, I couldn’t fathom it touching you. But I can finally…” I lick my lips and try to come up with the words to describe the end of an era and the beginning of a new one. A move toward the person I want to be, rather than settling for the one that I am. “I think I’m finally seeing the light.”

It’s out of nowhere and catches me completely off guard, but I swear, one moment, she’s on the verge of tears, and the next, her lips are on mine.

They’re hard but shaking, and the smell of her all around me hits me with an unnerving intensity. Fingertips pleading, I grab at her hips and pull her up off the bed and firmly against me, my mouth opening under hers until it does the same. With just a touch of my tongue, I taste her cherry lip gloss and fall into an onslaught of memories.

Of the kiss before the fight and the next one that came after. Of lying so close, our breaths mingled in my bed. Of her body under mine in the vent and our hands linked together as we ran through the maze of tunnels under campus. Of her hand on mine in class last week and the squeeze she let me give it. Of dancing with her tonight.

“Scottie,” I breathe into her mouth, the skin of her arms around my neck sending a tingle down my spine. Our bodies push and pull against each other, and then our tongues tangle again, running against each other hungrily until I’m hard in my fucking jeans. I let myself absorb everything about her. Her touch, her mouth, the pretty sound of her gasp as I put my hands on her ass and lift.

“Come back to my dorm with me,” she whispers, sending me off the edge of a cliff and into a free fall I can’t stop.

“Yes.”

I kiss her once more, hard and deep and unrelenting, before I grab her hand and drag her out the back door of Alpha Pi.

Scottie Bardeaux may not realize it yet. But tonight, she’s officially mine.