Chapter 34

Scottie

I unlock the door of my dorm room, and we tumble inside, fused to each other. Our mouths are a frantic mix of tongues and lips and teeth as we kiss like this is the last kiss we’ll ever have.

With the way things have gone in the past, and with the things I can’t take back, maybe it will be.

Even knowing I should, I can’t bring myself to stop.

Finn places his hands on my ass, lifting me up until my legs are wrapped around his waist, and presses my back against the wall.

He never stops kissing me.

“Fuck, Scottie,” he breathes into my hair as he rains kisses down my neck. He shoves my shirt out of the way to do the same to my shoulder and collarbone, and the feel of his lips on my skin makes my hips jolt forward and grind against him.

In a frantic twist, he moves us off the wall and falls forward to my bed, me underneath him.

He presses my back into the mattress, and I reach for his T-shirt, pulling it off him with a quick jerk of my hands. I go for his jeans next, my fingers shaking as they unbuckle and unzip his pants. I shove them down, along with his boxers, and even though Finn tries to stop their descent, I push his hands away.

“Scottie?” he questions, but I kiss him again instead of answering. The heat of his body on mine is indescribable. I feel primal and needy and irrational.

I push my leather shorts and thong down too, needing to feel his skin directly on mine.

At first, he doesn’t realize how impatient I’ve been, too busy kissing and tasting at my neck, but when I climb over his body and straddle his hips, his eyes change from heated and hooded to wide and unsure.

“Scottie,” he whispers, and he grips my hips, preventing me from pressing the apex of my thighs against him. “You don’t have to do this. It’s too big of a deal, too important—”

“Please, Finn,” I beg. Despite the shame I’m feeling over the secret I’m keeping from him, I’m too far gone to feel any shame in pleading. “I want this. I want you. I’m ready.”

“Scottie, I don’t know—” He stops midsentence when I remove my corset, freeing my breasts and immediately peaked nipples. The way his eyes drink me in, taking in every inch of my naked body with dilated pupils and no blinks, emboldens me further.

“I want you to be my first.”

Finn’s breathing is ragged now, and his hands twitch into a hard squeeze on my hips. His eyes move down to where I’m wet and throbbing for him before slowly moving back up to lock with mine. “Scottie, I only have so much willpower.”

“Let it go,” I tell him simply. “I want you to.”

Let me have this piece of you before I lose you forever.