Chapter 48

Scottie

By the time I speed walk up Broadway and make it onto 120th Street, I’m covered in a layer of sweat that gives the frigid December air a run for its money. Thankfully, I still have a few blotting papers left in my purse from my last outing, and I quickly dab one on my face as I cross the street toward the Delta Omega house in the distance.

I see Julia and Kayla standing outside, shivering in holiday-themed skirts and heels, and I cringe when Kayla shouts, “If my tits have frostbite, I’m sending you the bill for my plastic surgeon!”

“I’m so sorry!” I call toward them as I close the distance. “I was texting with my sister, and I lost track of time.”

“How about we save the apologies for inside?” Kayla suggests, and I wrap my arm around her shoulders on a laugh.

“I can apologize and move toward the heat at the same time.”

“Must be nice,” she jeers good-naturedly. “I’m so cold I can’t even think straight.”

“Julia? You haven’t even said anything. Are you okay?”

“If I were a chicken, I’d be begging KFC to put me in the fryer, okay?”

Both Kayla and I laugh as we hustle inside, stepping around a crowd of smokers just outside the front door. Music pounds so hard the windows shake, and the three of us cram inside and shove the front door closed behind us.

Drinks flow and hips shake in every available inch of space, and people chatter so loud, they’re almost as deafening as the music. Everyone is in the celebrating mood now that exams are done.

In a way, it’s almost infectious, and I find myself enjoying the sight of it all.

“You want anything to drink?” Julia asks, and I shake my head.

“No thanks.”

“Is it bad if I have a beer?” Kayla whispers into my ear, and I lean back to meet her eyes.

“Kay, that’s a decision you need to make for yourself. You and I both know there are other cheerleaders here tonight drinking, and I won’t be mad if you do.” I offer a reassuring, not-judgmental-at-all smile. “Hell, I spotted McKenzie playing beer pong in the living room when we first walked in.”

“Okay, yeah,” Kayla finally answers Julia’s question. “I definitely want a drink.”

“I’ll wait here while you guys go,” I reassure them when they both look like they’re afraid to leave their puppy behind. “I’ll be fine.”

“Yes,” a familiar male voice agrees. Blake Boden wraps his arm around my shoulders. “She’ll be fine because I’ll stay here with her.”

Julia and Kayla get lost in the crowd, and I nudge Blake with my elbow. “Pretty sure I can handle standing by myself for a little bit, Blake. I’m a big girl.”

“I know you can, small fry.” He pats the top of my head playfully. “But you’re my favorite cheerleader buddy, and I always look after my buddies.”

He pulls two bottles of water from his Santa hoodie pocket and hands one to me. “Cheers to sobriety and beating the fuck out of Buffalo when we play them for the Big East Championship game in seven days.”

“Now, that is something worthy of a cheers,” I agree and tap my bottle to his before taking a quick drink. “Who did you come with tonight?”

He shrugs. “Myself.”

“I guess it’s pretty easy finding friends when you’re the school’s star quarterback, huh?” I tease, and he smirks.

“Ace and Finn are supposed to meet me here at some point tonight. Though, you know how Ace is about being fashionably late.”

The sound of Finn’s name still gets under my skin, but thankfully, it only takes a second or two for me to get my bearings again. I’m getting better…I think. It’s still pretty fucking hard when I actually see him. One look into his brown eyes and my body is a swirling tornado of want and need and desire. My stupid, hopeless romantic heart can’t seem to come to terms with the fact that he doesn’t want us.

“Ace wouldn’t be Ace without an entrance.”

Blake laughs. “Last week, he brought his dad’s accountant to our bookkeeping class. Made him sit through the lesson and everything. Our professor didn’t even notice until he started working on Ace’s imaginary books for him.”

“Fucking hell,” I chortle.

Blake nods. “I know. I nearly pissed my pants when he started waxing poetic about the importance of uncooked books. I swear he used the words ‘raw dog’ at least ten times.”

“Yo, Blake!” someone shouts over the din, getting both of our attention. Blake strains to see who it is through the absolute crush of bodies, but I spot Dane almost right away, waving a friendly arm like he hasn’t been an asshat for the entire semester. “Come over here! I want to show you something! And bring Scottie with you!”

Blake looks at me, a question in his eyes, but I let the notion of the end-of-semester party guide me. Maybe this really is the chance to bury all the damn hatchets and start next year on a clean slate.

“I bet he’s going to let us watch him take seventy bajillion shots,” I suggest sarcastically, shrugging in surrender.

“Talk about an honor,” Blake muses with a chuckle as he guides us through the maze of people standing in the center of the house.

I spot Kayla and Julia near the kitchen, making their way back to us with beers in their hands, and gesture to them to follow us. By the time we get past the dance floor, Dane is bouncing on his toes waiting for us. “Come on, come on, slowpokes. We’re gonna miss it if we don’t hurry up.”

Blake and I both roll our eyes but follow Dane down the hall to the back of the house where all the sorority sisters’ bedrooms line the hall. He opens the door and waves his hand, dramatically gesturing for us to walk inside. “After you.”

Blake goes first and I’m right behind him, but when he stops in his tracks, my face rams right into his T-shirt-covered back. My nose stings with the impact, and I rub at it as Blake tenses in front of me. “What the fuck?”

Curiosity makes me peer around him to see what’s going on.

Oh my God.

Nausea overwhelms me instantly, puke climbing my throat so fast I have to throw a hand over my mouth to prevent its escape.

“Oh, wait. Holy shit, Scottie. Isn’t that your mom?” Dane comments, his taunting tone making it obvious he’s getting actual enjoyment out of this sick and twisted situation.

“Wait. That’s Scottie’s mom?” Nadine joins in from the corner of the room, where she holds her phone toward my mom and one of the guys from Alpha Pi having sex in the pink-comforter-adorned bed. I recognize him immediately as one of the bandoleros from the Halloween party.

Blake turns and shuffles me, trying to push me out the door, but it’s too late. I’ve already seen more than enough.

“Get her out of here,” Blake orders Kayla and Julia, who’ve just arrived behind us.

“What’s going on?” Kayla asks, just as Julia gets an eyeful for herself, crying, “Oh my God!”

Thanks to our commotion, my mom finally realizes she has an audience and sits up in the bed, her chest exposed and her hair a tangled mess.

“Scottie?” she says when her bloodshot eyes lock with mine. With just a look at her, I can tell she’s shit-faced. After all, it’s her most familiar look.

So much for fucking sobriety, huh?

“I think Scottie is ready to talk to you now, Mrs. Bardeaux,” Dane comments snidely, his snakish charm so blunt, the only thing missing is a split tongue. Nadine continues filming and laughing from her spot in the corner, swinging the camera to me for a brief capture of my devastation.

The text messages, the torture, my mom somehow finding me at a random college party in the middle of my university—I’m surer than ever that Dane and Nadine are behind it all.

“Scottie, honeys,” my mom slurs as she literally climbs off the guy’s cock and starts searching for her clothes. She’s completely naked and too drunk to make any attempt to cover herself with a sheet, instead walking right toward me like we’re seeing each other at a sidewalk café somewhere. “I’m so happy you’re here. I miss you. I want to talk to you.”

“Aw, Scottie,” Nadine chimes in. “Your mom misses you so much that she came to Dickson and fucked a frat guy just for you.”

As gossip does what gossip does and starts to spread like wildfire, people flood in from the living room to get a look at my personal hell.

“Everybody get the fuck out of here!” Blake yells at the door, trying his hardest to manage the situation, but the nausea in my stomach becomes so intense that saliva floods my mouth, and I throw up, right there, all over the floor.

Nadine and Dane cackle like hyenas as I fight to standing again.

Dane forms a gun with his hand and points it straight at me, mouthing a single word of pure evil. “Bang.”

This isn’t some random guy I had a fling with or someone I hardly know. This is a guy I spent two years of my life with. A guy I thought was my first love.

I can’t pretend I’ve got it together anymore. The phenomenon is over.

This is my breaking point.