Chapter Eight

In the following days AnnMarie wasn't very much interested in talking about the curse, much to Esther's displeasure. In fact, she seemed to want to pretend that the conversation had never happened, as whenever Esther even came close to bringing it up, AnnMarie quickly changed the subject.

She was, however, very interested in talking to Esther about friendship. She wanted to talk about the sorts of things friends might do, and what they might talk about. The mere concept of friendship, or at least of companionship, seemed to constantly be at the forefront of her thoughts.

One night, when the weekend had come, they sat on old metal fold out chairs on the front porch. The air was humid, and Esther thought about how there must have been some sort of body of water nearby as the chorus of frogs that rang out in the night was overwhelmingly loud.

"Did you have a lot of friends?" AnnMarie asked her as they sat under the flickering porch light.

Did, Esther thought, not do.

Past tense.

AnnMarie was asking about when she was human. When she had been alive.

"I had one very close friend." Esther said. "Back when I was alive."

"What were they like?" AnnMarie asked.

"She was my sister in law." Esther said. "Her name was Lucille Lagrange."

"What sort of things did the two of you do?" AnnMarie asked. "Were they things we could do together?"

Esther smiled a little bit.

"Yes. It's not like those things don't exist anymore. It's not like that was before the discovery of fire or something."

"But what kind of things were they?" AnnMarie asked.

"Ah, well—" Esther racked her brain, but most of the memories were from so long ago that they were a bit fuzzy. "We would do chores together, cook, read, go on walks in the cemetery. We would do puzzles a lot, but that was mostly Lucille bearing with it for my sake. I love puzzles, but she was never very fond of them. We would bathe together sometimes too."

AnnMarie looked past her with a far off, dreamy sort of look, and Esther wondered where her thoughts were.

She seemed sad, but also content.

Maybe wistful was the right word.

"Where are you from?" She asked after a moment.

"Originally, Tennessee. That's where I was born." She said. "Since my death I've been everywhere around the states, and a few places in Canada as well."

"Oh. I was just wondering because—"

"Because I don't look like I'm white?" Esther cut her off. "And I'm sure you can gather that I'm fairly old, and I'm sure you're wondering what the implications of those things are."

AnnMarie blushed and glanced away. "I apologize."

"Its fine." Esther said. "I expected you to ask questions about the whole 'technically being dead' thing eventually."

"I don't want to make you uncomfortable." AnnMarie said. "I want us to be regular friends. I don't want to see you differently than any other person. Though I don't see many other people anyway so it's not like I know how to act around them either…"

She gave one of her uncertain shrugs at as she trailed off and moved a strand of hair behind her ear.

Esther frowned. Even as a reanimated corpse she had never seen anyone so socially isolated that they barely knew how to interact with other people.

"You can ask me questions about it. I don't mind. We're friends after all, right?"

"I guess so." AnnMarie said, though she still seemed a little uncomfortable.  "Well, how long ago was it? That you were born, I mean."

Esther took a deep breath, and leaned back in her rusty chair.

“Well, if you go to Elmwood cemetery in Memphis, Tennessee, there’s a crooked tree near the back, that juts out like the one near your house. To the left of it, there is an old, upright headstone that, last I saw it, is broken in half and covered with moss. It’s hard to read now, but it says Esther LaGrage, 1838 to 1864.

It looks the same as many of the graves around it, quiet, undisturbed, long forgotten by descendants. But underneath the earth, the casket is empty, and I here.”

AnnMarie looked pretty shocked at her words, frown lines creasing on her forehead.

“Wait, you were actually buried and everything?”

“Of course.” Esther said with a shrug. “I’m dead. What else would my family have done with me?”

“Well I mean, were you dead dead when you were buried, and not like, I don’t know, walking around talking like you are now?” Annie asked.

“I seemed just as dead as anyone else would, at least for a time anyway.”

“But how did you get out of your grave?”

“After I was buried, the vampire who created me came to the cemetery to retrieve me.” Esther said. "Though I do assume there are so many who are never dug up, and are stuck underground to this day."

Annmarie only looked all the more concerned at this information.

“Were you awake while you waited on them to dig you up?”

“For a couple of days, yes, if I remember correctly.”

“That sounds terrible!”

It probably was terrible, but Esther was relieved that most of her memories from that far back were very hazy at this point, including that one. She was aware of things that had happened to her, but they were hard to recall in detail, unless it was something that  she really tried to remember.

“It happened a long time ago.” she said dismissively.

That was the thing about prolonged life; eventually, if you managed to survive long enough, you’d forget the past. You could forget every detail about your life before, even your original name. Essentially, you could become an entirely new person, given the time.

This was why Esther often doomed herself to long periods of sleep; she didn’t want to forget. At least not entirely, at least not the good times, though they had been few and far between.

“So you don’t remember what it was like to die?” AnnMarie asked.

That was the golden question, the one everyone wanted an answer to. Sadly, Esther could never oblige them.

She shook her head.

“I remember being quite ill for a while before my death, and certainly sleeping a lot, but not the specific night I died. It must have been uneventful.”

AnnMarie still looked a little bit sad.

"Why don't we talk about something more fun instead?" Esther offered. "Or we can do something you'd enjoy."

"We can take a bath together!" AnnMarie said. "That's something we can do right now!"

"Uh, okay." Esther agreed with a shrug. "Let's do it.

The bathtub wasn't very big, and since Esther was on the taller side it was a bit of a squish to get in.

AnnMarie ended up between Esther's legs, with her back facing towards her.

Esther reached around her waist and squeezed her tightly, before laying her head down against her back. She could hear the thudding of her heart in her chest, steady and loud, and could almost taste the hot blood pulsing through her body.

“What are you doing?” AnnMarie asked. Her voice echoed around in her chest when she spoke, and Esther tightened her embrace.

“Listening to your heart beating.” She said. “It sounds so strong.”

“I didn’t know you said creepy things during the day too.”

“Sorry to disappoint.” Esther mumbled.

AnnMarie placed her hand on top of hers and squeezed it.

“You don’t have a heartbeat, do you?” She asked.

Esther pulled away from her chest.

“I do actually.”

“You do?”

“Yes, you saw me bleeding earlier today when i cut myself, right?”

“Yes, But—“ AnnMarie paused. “It was different. It was slower, the blood was thicker and it was dark too.”

“I have a pulse.” Esther said. “It’s just very slow, and very faint. Do you want to hear it?”

“Uh, sure.” AnnMarie said.

Esther abruptly turned her around to face her, and pressed the woman’s face into her naked chest.

“Oh, I—“ AnnMarie’s own pulse began to race, and the heat radiating from her skin increased.

“Shhh.” Esther said, leaning her head back against the edge of the tub and rubbing her fingers through her hair. “You have to be quiet, or you won’t be able to hear it.”

There was silence, and Esther closed her eyes and listened with the woman to achingly slow, rhythmic beat.

“I can hear it.” AnnMarie whispered.

“I told you.” Esther said.

“What if it stopped?” She asked.

“I’d fall asleep for a while.”

“You wouldn’t die?”

“I’m already dead.”

AnnMarie wrapped her arms around her, and pressed closer into her chest.

“In moments like this, it doesn’t seem like it.”

“Wish I could say the same.”

“But then we wouldn’t have met.”

Esther didn’t say anything. She simply continued winding her fingers through her hair.

AnnaMarie shifted, and sat up, and suddenly, their faces were terribly close. AnnMarie’s green eyes darted back and forth as she looked over her face, and the corner of her mouth twitched upward.

“What is it?”

AnnMarie leaned forward, and kissed her gently. Esther felt her body grow rigid, and she held her breath, and didn’t kiss back. The warmth of her mouth was almost unbearable.

As AnnMarie pulled away, she seemed not to care about her awkward reaction, a soft pinkish flush rising on her cheeks, a shy, girlish smile on her red lips. Esther thought it looked delicious.

“You’re very pretty.” AnnMarie said.

Esther didn’t agree, but she did respond. “Thank you. You are too.”

Now is my chance, Esther thought.

Esther leaned back in, stroking the side of the girl’s face with her hand, and bringing her lips up to her ear. She kissed the side of her face softly, and whispered into her skin.

“Could I Please have some of your blood?”

She could see AnnMarie stiffen, could hear her breath catch in her throat. Her fingers trembled terribly as she reached up and grabbed her hand.

“Yes,” She said, so softly.

“Thank you.” Esther said.

Esther moved to lean towards her chest, but AnnMarie stretched her arm out in front of her to stop her.

“Can’t you do it here instead?” She asked quietly.

“I can.” Esther said, though she did not want to.

“Okay.”

Esther took the girl’s arm in her hands, and pressed her mouth against the underside of her forearm. The skin was soft, smooth and warm. Unblemished.

She bit into it.

AnnMarie cried out in pain. Her muscles tensed.

She cried out again when Esther drew her teeth back out. She had to keep a firm grip on AnnMarie’s arm to keep her from yanking it away.

“Ow! That hurts!” She said. Her voice broke with each word.

Esther ignored her, instead focusing the hot blood that flowed into her mouth. It was so warm, and it filled her with the usual sense of calm and satisfaction.

She could taste the fear in her. It was pungent, overwhelming. It was the feeling of falling backwards, the need to escape. Esther didn’t very much like it.

She could hear AnnMarie sniffling and gasping softy, and she quietly repeated herself.

“It hurts.”

This isn’t very enjoyable. I’ll have to stop early.

Esther grabbed a washcloth as she drew her mouth away. She pressed it over the wound, which was still bleeding just a bit.

“Here, press this against it. Use pressure. I’ll get a bandage.”

AnnMarie nodded, and did as she was instructed.

Esther grimaced as she looked at the girl’s face. Her eyes were puffy and reddened, wet tears still clinging to her cheeks. She squeezed her eyes shut, forcing out a couple more stray tears.

Esther crawled from the bathtub, and rummaged through the medicine cabinet until she found a suitable bandage.

“Is it still bleeding?” She asked as she walked back over.

AnnMarie sniffled, and lifted the edge of the rag. “I think it’s stopped.”

Esther moved the rag away, and quietly banged her arm. AnnMarie continued to breath heavily, clearly refusing to look at her.

“I didn’t know it would hurt so bad.” She said.

“I’m sorry.” Esther said quietly. “Did it not hurt the other times? You said you were awake then, yes?”

“I felt it a little those times.” AnnMarie said. “But everything was hazy, and I felt out of it.”

Esther nodded silently. So she had been awake, though not entirely, just aware enough to realize what had probably been going on.

“Again, I apologize.” Esther said. “This is why I usually feed when the host is asleep.”

AnnMarie didn’t seem comforted in the slightest by her admission, as she said nothing and continued to avoid looking at her, and Esther bit her lip in frustration. If the woman wanted her to be a friend to her, she knew she should probably do better.

After all, she's offered to do this in an effort to cheer her up, but had only succeeded in making her cry.

“If you don’t want me to do it again, I won’t, I won’t even ask it of you.” Esther said, repeating her promise from earlier in the week which she'd already broken.

“But you have to do it, at least to someone.” AnnMarie said, finally glancing back up to her.

“Yes, I suppose that’s correct.”

“What happens if you don’t eat?” AnnMarie asked. “Will you die?”

“I’m already dead.” Esther said again, more quietly.

“But what would happen?”

“I’d grow hungry. Weak. Increasingly more desperate. If I went long enough, I’d fall into a deep sleep.” Esther said. She paused, and decided to clarify. “It’s not real sleep, however. My heart stops, and I don’t wake up again until I get more blood. Most of us call it ‘dormancy’.”

Somehow, AnnMarie’s face showed a degree of concern.

“Is that what was happening to you the other week?”

“No.” Esther shook her head. “I was merely weakened from, uhm, consuming regular food. If I am weakened, I have to either consume blood or rest to regain my strength, though resting takes longer.”

AnnMarie nodded, she bit the tip of her left thumb, while staring distantly down at the bandage on her right arm.

“I’ll think about it.” She said.