: Chapter 58

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, but I swear I didn’t know what they were going to—” I cut off his words by grabbing the needle and putting his head in a vice-like hold.

Tears fall from his eyes as he struggles in the chair, his arms and legs tied to it with barbed wire, like they did to my girl. “Shush, don’t move or I could mess this up,” I snap, as I start to thread it through his lips.

He moves and screams, but when I step back, it doesn’t look too bad. Even stitching, not too far apart, and his mouth is effectively sewn shut. His eyes bug from his head, blood dripping down his chin as I hop on his desk and swing my legs.

Ryder is destroying the Triad’s business, and I’m cleaning up our beloved city. Anyone who ever wanted to stand against us, who ever worked with the Triad or made threats, they die. We can’t risk one of them getting ideas and coming for Roxy. Not again.

“They were your sons, you knew.” I snort.

Oh yes, Triad’s daddy, all the way over in China. I hopped on our jet while Roxy was sleeping and came straight to his corporate building. He knew, his sons never made a move without his approval.

“Unfortunately, we don’t have a lot of time. I have to be back on the plane before the authorities catch me. I would have preferred to play more—” My phone rings, and I look to see it’s Little Bird. “Hold one moment, the old lady, you know how it is.”

Answering, I put it on speaker as I hop from the desk and circle their dad. “Little Bird?” I murmur.

“Where are you?” she asks, her voice sharp.

“Missing me?” I tease, as I grab his head, rip it to the side, and tear off his ear. He tries to scream, the muffled sound filtering down the phone.

“Ahhh.” She laughs. “Sorry, didn’t know you were working.”

“I always have time for you, you know that,” I murmur, as I do the same to the other and toss the bloody appendages on the desk. “What’s wrong, Little Bird?”

“I’m bored, and Garrett and Kenzo are sleeping, and Ryder is off somewhere. I wanted to play.” Her voice drops an octave, making me shiver and my cock turn hard.

“Torture Garrett for a while, I’ll be back as soon as I can,” I promise.

She sighs. “Fine,” she mumbles, then seems to perk up. “Garrettttttt, Diesel said you had to play with me.” Her voice is sweet as sugar, but it makes me laugh.

I hear him swear and then grunt as she laughs. “Bye, D, see you soon!”

Holding the man in the chair, I hold my phone to one ear as I lead him over to the bay of windows. “Bye, Little Bird, be bad.” Hanging up, I pocket the phone as I press my face to his, looking at our reflection in the window.

“Women, am I right? Can’t live without them, can’t kill without them.” I nod seriously. “Now, I want you to say hi to your sons for me.” I laugh as I straighten, and my phone rings again. Sighing, I answer it.

“What did you tell her?” Garrett roars.

“To play, why?” I query, looking at my blood-stained nails.

He groans as if in pain. “D, she’s wearing chains as lingerie, I’m supposed to be on bed rest.”

Laughing, I wink at their dad. “Then be on bed rest…with her in the bed with you. Gotta go, bye!”

Putting my phone away, I grin down at the Triad’s daddy. “Sorry, mate, duty calls. I’ll have a nice flight if you do.” I laugh as I pull back my leg and kick.

I watch as he rolls towards the glass before flying through it, the pane shattering around him. Leaning through the broken window, I watch from the fortieth story as he falls to the concrete below with a splat. Now that was fun.

Laughing, I wipe the table for prints and, whistling to myself, take the stairs back down. I have a plane to catch, my little bird needs me, and now that the city is clean…she is all I have to focus on.

I hope she’s ready.

RYDER

I know I should be celebrating, except I can’t help but blame myself. With the emotions Roxanne has unlocked in me…for her, it comes with guilt. If we hadn’t taken her, she would have never been tortured and almost killed. She’s still limping, her toes, ribs, and fingers hurting her when she thinks we don’t notice. I’ve been making sure she takes her pain relievers, but she got hurt because of me.

Not to mention my brothers, who even now are still healing. They almost died because I wasn’t smart enough to see this coming. My father was right, I will never be good enough to lead.

Knocking back the scotch, I turn to the windows around the conference room. I don’t know why I came here, only that it felt right. I’m too dark, too angry and confused to be with anyone tonight, even my love. She would try to save me from it, and I can’t have that. My failures are mine, and I have to learn from them.

I need to do better in the future to keep them all safe. I need to see the looming threats to protect them. Which is why I hired more guards and the treaty with the Petrovs is officially in effect. It took a lot of negotiating, but they are a good, strong family to have our backs.

It might keep my family safe. I knew this life might kill us all when I entered it, I welcome it gladly, but now with Roxxane here, I wonder if I made the right decision. She would be just as happy living in a shitty apartment and working at the bar every night, she doesn’t need money or power.

Just us.

As if summoned by my dark, turbulent thoughts, I spot her in the reflection in the window. Turning, I meet her gaze. She’s framed in the doorway, wearing nothing but one of our shirts. “Go to bed, love, it’s late,” I tell her, but my voice is trembling, so I turn away, my hands shaking again. Why does she have this effect on me?

I never worried like this before. Never second-guessed my every decision, wondering if she would agree if it was right. Fuck, I even keep going through my past and everything I have done, all the demons that hide there, pondering if she would be disgusted by the man she shares her bed with if she knew.

“Come with me,” she murmurs.

“Not tonight, love.”

I hear her sigh before her arms wrap around me from behind. “You don’t have to suffer alone, Ry. I’m here, your brothers are here. I know the weight you carry, trying to save us all, but that isn’t your job, okay? I don’t need you to save me. I need you to stand with me, to lean on me so I can lean on you. You don’t always have to be perfect, cold, and calculating. It’s okay to break every now and again, but don’t do it alone.”

I don’t reply, and she kicks my chair around and gets in my face, her own contorted in anger now. “Fucking talk to me, Ryder. Don’t shut me out. Don’t be that asshole, or I swear you will lose me. You want to protect us? Fine, you want to wallow in self-pity? Fine, but do not dare freeze me out, not now, not ever.”

With a roar, I’m up and in her face in an instant, my hand around her neck. “No? Would you rather I took it out on you? Hit you? Hurt you? Because that’s what will happen if you keep pushing, Roxanne. I am him, after all.” I push her away in disgust, not at her but at me, knowing if I don’t, I could actually hurt her. His blood runs through my veins, and it was a day like this where he used to take it out on my mum.

I feel it too.

The need to forget, to hurt someone so I feel stronger, less out of control. To control her and her actions so that all these…these fucking emotions and turmoil goes away again. I’m a monster like him.

And it’s my biggest fear that I would hurt her, because I love her.

And my love? It comes with barbs.