Chapter 20

Jesus fucking Christ, I’m such an asshole. Today was a giant bowl of dogshit served with a side of ass, but that doesn’t give me an excuse to treat her that way. Especially not after I forgot about our dinner plans. And even worse, I forgot to take two minutes from my day to let her know I’d be back so late. And now she’s pissed at me, and I feel like a dick for yelling at her the way I did.

The truth is I like her smart mouth, but when I came home to find her asleep on the couch, all my frustration melted away. She looked so peaceful, so beautiful. And then I woke her up, and well … Fuck. It all went to hell again from there.

Rubbing a hand through my hair, I sigh and head down the hallway after her. I knock on her door, but she doesn’t answer. “I’m coming in, Mel, so if you’re naked in there, you have about five seconds to stop me or put some clothes on.”

I count to five, and when I don’t hear from her, I push open the door. She’s lying on the bed, the soft glow of the bedside lamp illuminating her face.

She sniffs. “What the hell do you want?”

I sit sideways on the foot of the bed so I’m facing her. “You think we could try this again?”

Her only response is a snort.

“Hey, honey, I’m home.” I swear the corners of her lips twitch. “I’m sorry I didn’t make it home for dinner. I’m even sorrier that I didn’t call or text you. And I have no excuse other than I’m not used to having to tell anyone where I am or what I’m doing.”

“That’s not—”

“I already said it wasn’t an excuse, Spitfire.” I nudge her foot with my hand. “I also had a hell of a day, and when I saw you lying there, I …” I swallow, because she doesn’t need to know how I felt. And she’s too pissed at me to hear me, anyway.

She rubs her foot on my hip. “You what?”

I crawl up the bed and lie next to her, thankful for the opportunity to lie down. “I forgot about dinner, Mel. I’m sorry. When I’m working, especially on days like today, I forget about everything but the job. But I understand that I’m not an island anymore, and I will try to do better.”

She shifts onto her side, her lashes wet with unshed tears as she blinks at me. “You said that when you saw me lying there, but then you didn’t finish your sentence.”

I swallow. “I was relieved to have someone I could talk to after my shitty day. But then you reamed me out for doing my job and … I guess not everyone understands what I do.”

She places her hand on my chest, right over my heart. “I’m sorry, Nathan. I want to understand though. Help me to understand.”

I let out a sigh. “I’m tired.”

“Then just tell me about your shitty day. Please.”

I lace my fingers through hers and press a kiss on her knuckles. I can’t tell her the details of the guy who’s been arrested for murder after some piece of shit raped his sixteen-year-old daughter so violently that she’ll never be able to have children. How I spent most of my night trying to find her somewhere safe to stay because I can’t get her dad out of custody until he’s arraigned tomorrow. And I can’t tell her how guilty I felt leaving him behind bars for the night. And maybe the story I’m about to tell her isn’t mine to tell either, but it won’t get me disbarred, and it had such a profound impact on my life that it feels like it’s part mine.

I take a deep breath. “My father was furious when I told him I didn’t want to go into the family business, but I’ve wanted to be a lawyer for as long as I can remember, and I couldn’t see myself doing anything else. So I appeased him by going into corporate law, and I enjoyed it.”

Pausing, I look at her. She motions for me to continue.

“After our mom died, Maddox got himself a girlfriend. Yasmin. My father hated her. She had bright purple hair and a lip ring. She was from a poor neighborhood, and he was convinced she was a bad influence on his son. The two of them were constantly getting into trouble, but they were sixteen. It was probably just normal teenage rebellion, but the more my father told Maddox she was bad news, the more he pushed the two of them together.”

Mel gives a knowing nod. “Teenagers, huh?”

I nod. “They weren’t great together. They broke up every couple of weeks, but it was like they were addicted to each other. I guess she was good for him in some ways though. She helped him through one of the hardest times of his life. But this one night, he took her to a party some of his football buddies were throwing. Being a football star, he always hung out with an older crowd, and there was beer and weed. Yasmin kissed some guy, and she and Mad had a huge fight. She told him to leave, so he did …”

The heaviness of the memory threatens to crush me, and I let out a deep sigh. Mel keeps her hand on my chest and continues listening patiently. “That night three guys at the party raped her. She was in really rough shape.”

Mel gasps, and her eyes fill with tears. “Oh, that poor girl.”

“Mad blamed himself. He went with her when she went to the cops and pressed charges. Our dad offered to pay for an investigator. He’d heard rumors that Yasmin wasn’t the first girl this had happened to. But Yasmin’s dad was a proud man. As far as he was concerned, we were no better than the rich pricks who’d violated his baby girl. Mad even offered to pay, and I guess Yasmin would have let him, but her dad insisted she not take a penny of his money.”

I pinch the bridge of my nose and suck in a breath. “They had hotshot lawyers, of course, who did their best to not even let it get to trial, but she …” A lump wells in my throat, and I have to swallow before I can continue. “She was so fucking brave. And they eviscerated her on the stand. I went with Mad every day, and she sat there like a warrior while they fucking picked her apart.”

Mel sniffs, wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand.

“The prosecutor did a fucking terrible job. The entire investigation was so goddamn inept, I suspect he was paid off. Or he was a misogynistic prick who subscribed to the whole ‘she was asking for it’ rhetoric that’s still way too prevalent in our justice system.”

“That’s so wrong,” Mel whispers.

I lick my lips, and the weight of all the guilt and shame of how we all let her down washes over me in a wave, threatening to pull me under. “She killed herself before the trial was over.”

Mel lets out a loud sob. “Oh, Nathan.”

“They were acquitted and …” I press my lips together and stare at the ceiling.

“And then what happened? Where are they now?”

“Dead. Yasmin’s dad shot two of them the day after they were acquitted. All he did was try to get some justice for his baby girl, and the DA went after him way harder than he did the three guys who raped an innocent teenager. I begged him to let me defend him. Even though I was in corporate law, I knew enough to do a better job than what I’d seen done for his daughter, but he refused. He’s serving two life sentences now. After that I switched to criminal law. I wanted to even the playing field for people like Yasmin’s dad.”

“But I thought you only represented rich people? How is that balancing the playing field?”

I frown at her.

“I’m not trying to be an asshole. You’re like the best criminal defense lawyer in the country. How can someone with no money afford you?”

“I’m fortunate enough that my defense clients pay me well enough that I can take on more pro bono cases than most without relying on my father’s fortune to subsidize our firm. There are cops at every station in the city who know me and the type of work I like to take on, so they call me when they get a case like today’s.”

“So did he do it? The guy whose case you took on today?”

“It doesn’t matter to me.”

Her brow pinches in a frown.

“The world isn’t black and white, Mel. No such thing as inherently good or unequivocally bad. I might respect the law because it’s my job, but the law and justice are often two very different things. What if it was Yasmin’s dad? And her family who needed looking after today?”

She rolls her lips together before offering me a single nod. “Then I’d say it doesn’t matter to me either. You’re doing the right thing.”

I close my eyes and finally let the weight of the day leave me.

“I’m sorry I didn’t give you a chance to explain.”

“Don’t be. I enjoy coming home to be reamed by my pint-sized siren.”

She laughs softly, and her breath dusts over my cheek. “I guess we both need to figure out how to fit into each other’s lives without driving each other crazy, huh?”

“It’s only our first day, and look at us now. I think we’re doing pretty good.”

“Yeah.” She closes her eyes, her hand still on my chest. “What happened to the third guy? If her dad only shot two of them?”

I swallow. “He died a short time later.” I don’t tell her that he was murdered, or how, because that’s definitely not my story to tell, and thankfully she seems too tired to ask. A few moments later, her breathing evens out and she’s asleep again. Instead of getting up and going to my own room, I watch her sleep. And that’s all I do for the next several hours—watch her chest rise and listen to her soft breaths in the quiet room, and I’ve never felt closer to anyone before in my life.