Chapter 61

“Hi, Mel, how are you feeling? I called a couple of times, but you didn’t answer. I figured you were still feeling sick as a dog.” My little sister’s excited voice fills my ear, and I choke back a sob. It’s taken me four days to summon the courage to call her. How do I tell her she’s not going to be an aunty after all? I guess the easiest way is to spit it out.

“I lost the baby, Ash.” I say it quietly, afraid to say the words too loudly because they’re too painful to remain in this room.

I hear her sharp inhale. “Oh, Mel. I’m so sorry.” She sobs the last word.

“Yeah, me too.”

“I’m coming home. I’ll catch a bus tonight and be in New York by tomorrow.”

“No, you will not,” I insist. “You’re not missing any classes.”

She huffs. “I can catch up on classes. Tyler’s away, right? I’m not leaving you on your own with this.”

“I’m not on my own. I’m staying with Nathan for a few weeks.”

“Oh.” Her tone softens. I told her we separated but left out most of the details. My sister, being who she is, didn’t press me. She knows I’ll tell her when I’m ready. “What’s that like?”

“It’s okay, actually. No, it’s good. He’s been super sweet and supportive.”

“As he should be.” She snorts. “I’m still coming home.”

I pinch the spot between my brows. “You will not miss classes and jeopardize your grades, Ash.”

She sighs dramatically. “I know how much you’ve sacrificed to put me through college. I won’t miss any classes.”

I heave a sigh of relief. “Good.”

“But I am coming home this weekend. I have a soccer game on Sunday, but I can get a train. Or I’ll fly home Friday after class and catch the red-eye back on Saturday.”

“You are not flying back here. Or getting on a train. You can’t afford the fare.”

“It’s a couple hundred bucks. You worry about me too much.”

No, you have no idea how little money there is. “Please listen to me. You need to save any extra money you have.” I lower my voice to a whisper. “There’s nothing left now. I paid your tuition and your rent, but everything else still needs to be covered, honey.”

She sobs softly. “I hate the thought of not being there for you, Mel.”

“Is that your sister?” Nathan’s deep, soothing voice comes from behind me, and I spin around to see him leaning against the doorframe. I nod.

He crosses his arms over his chest. “When’s she planning on coming back here?”

I blink at him while Ashley asks me what he’s saying.

“Mel?” he prompts.

I swallow down the knot in my throat. “Friday night.”

“Tell her I’ll have the jet at the airport for her.”

“What’s he saying?” Ashley persists.

“You don’t have to do that,” I say to him, ignoring my sister.

He shrugs. “What’s the point of having your own plane if not to use it?”

“Mel!” Ashley shouts.

“Nathan said he’ll send the jet for you Friday night if you’d like.”

She shrieks in my ear. “Yes! Yes, I’d like. And I can stay until Sunday morning if he can get me back here by noon.”

“She has to go back early Sunday morning and be back by midday,” I explain.

He nods. “That’s fine.”

“A private freaking jet. Oh my god.” Ashley giggles. “And I’ll get to see you.”

“Tell her she can stay here,” Nathan adds.

“Nathan said you can stay here too.”

“Good, because there’s not a chance in hell I’m staying with Mom and Bryce.” She makes a fake vomiting sound.

“I guess I’ll see you late Friday then.” We say our goodbyes, and I hang up the phone before walking over to Nathan. “How long have you been standing there?”

“Long enough to hear you tell your sister not to come home because she couldn’t afford to,” he answers, deadpan. Then his expression softens. “Did you tell her about the baby?”

“Yeah. That’s why she wants to come home. She said she can’t stand me being alone.”

He grunts, and a look of hurt flashes across his face.

“I told her that I wasn’t,” I rush to explain. “That I’m with you, and that you’ve been way kinder to me than I probably deserve.”

He cocks his head, eyeing me with curiosity, and everything suddenly feels awkward and tense between us. I become aware of the closeness of our bodies. How a single step from either of us would have us flush against each other, and I want that so badly that I have to force myself to step back. I hate that I find so much comfort in the feel of his arms around me. I hate that I want so much more. That I want every part of him. Every night this week, I’ve lain awake, wanting to go to his bed and curl up beside him.

I’ve wondered how good it would feel to have his hands and mouth on me, and whether he could take away even a fraction of this bone-crushing despair I’m feeling, if only for a little while.

“Thank you for helping Ashley out, Nathan. It really means a lot to me.” I stare up into his deep brown eyes.

“It’s nothing,” he says, his voice thick with emotion.

I shake my head. “Not to me.” I press up onto my tiptoes, slide my hand to the back of his neck, and curl my fingers in the thick hair at the nape of his neck. Then I press my lips to his cheek, giving him the softest of kisses and inhaling his unique, comforting scent. A groan rolls in his throat, and I have to force myself to step back from him.

He’s still staring at me like he’s trying to see into my soul, and I feel the need to break the spell he has me under. I clear my throat. “I’ll go start on dinner.” With that, I retreat into the kitchen.

This arrangement is temporary. As soon as Tyler gets back, I’ll leave this penthouse, and Nathan James will be out of my life for good. If I allow myself to fall for him all over again, it will tear me apart when I have to leave. And I’m not sure I’d be able to put myself back together after losing him a second time.