Heart of My Monster: Chapter 13

A heavy weight rests on my middle.

Instead of being a burden, it’s actually comforting. I nuzzle my nose against the pillow, and my nostrils flood with the forbidden scent of deep forest and cedar.

Could it be that I’m imagining things?

That’s the only explanation for this sensory overload or why I’m leaning closer to the source.

Warmth engulfs my body and spreads to my chest and core, so I inch over farther, needing more.

My movements pause when something hard nudges my stomach, poking me through my clothes.

“Mmm.”

The rumble of a very familiar deep voice causes my eyes to pop open.

Please tell me this is my imagination—

No.

Nope.

It’s definitely real. I’m actually trapped in Kirill’s embrace, my face resting on his neck until I can almost taste his shower gel on my tongue. I realize with horror that this is what I’ve been smelling since I woke up.

Our fronts are glued together, and the thing that’s poking my stomach? It’s his erection.

Oh, and one more thing.

He’s naked.

What gives him the right to touch me? Hold me as if he owns me?

How dare he?

I jerk away, forcing his hand to fall from around my waist.

Kirill grunts since that happens to be his injured arm. My eyes meet his arctic ones, and judging by the focused look in them, he probably woke up much earlier than I did. Or maybe he didn’t sleep at all.

I scoot to the other side of the bed, trying not to ogle his hard inked chest and arms. Under the morning light that’s slipping in from the windows and balcony, his tattoos appear darker. Menacing, too. Like everything about him.

I can’t help staring at the two bullet scars on his chest. They’re covered up with a new intricate tattoo and would be invisible to someone who doesn’t look hard enough. I, however, could find them even if I were blind.

After everything, the thought that he nearly died in Russia because of me still turns my stomach.

You’re playing a dangerous game, Sasha. You’re having empathy for the monster who wouldn’t hesitate to destroy you.

He sits up, and the covers drop to below his navel, revealing the defined V-line that leads to—

I snap my attention back to his face and purse my lips when I find him smirking.

“Morning, wife. Did you sleep well?”

“No, I didn’t.”

Oh, wait. I actually did.

My lips part. I didn’t have any nightmares last night. Or dreams.

I had nothing. For the first time in a very long time, I just did something normal and slept.

“Is it the mattress?” He presses down on it, then on the covers. “The pillow? The bed itself?”

“More like the one in the bed,” I mutter under my breath.

“That’s your defense mechanism speaking, but that’s fine. I can wait.”

“Wait for what?”

“For the day you become my wife again.”

“I was never your wife, Kirill.”

“Yes, you are. You said ‘I do’ and took my cock like a very good wife that same night. Besides, I have a marriage certificate to prove it.”

“That doesn’t count since we’re getting a divorce.”

His permanent smirk disappears, but his expression remains light, playful even, but it doesn’t appear natural. “Until then, you’re still my wife.”

“Reluctantly.”

“Legally.”

I lift my chin. “Temporarily.”

“Currently.”

The bastard gets off on any war I attempt to start. If I want to get anywhere in this situation, I need to stop feeding his perversion.

I cross my arms over my chest, and his gaze falls to my breasts, catching fire and causing my body to heat. I clear my throat. “When are you going to release Anton?”

“Once I make sure you’re keeping your word.”

“I’m here, aren’t I?”

His ethereal eyes slowly slide to my face. “Not fully.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing worth explaining.”

“You can’t just keep holding him hostage against me.”

“That’s exactly what I plan to do.”

“And you think that will make me accept you?”

“I don’t believe anything I do will make you accept me at this point, so I might as well create some leverage in the form of your brother.”

“You’re a damn asshole.”

His lips twitch. “You know I love it when you compliment me.”

“That was the exact opposite of a compliment.”

“Not from you.”

I release an exasperated sigh. “At least take me to see him.”

“Not yet.”

“Why not?”

“He enjoyed your company for two months after having the audacity to take you away from me.” His voice deepens with every word until my skin crawls.

“He’s my brother.”

“Doesn’t excuse his actions. The only reason I’m stopping myself from chopping him into pieces is you, so don’t test my already limited patience.”

“Your patience is limited? Yours? Are you kidding me right now? My patience should be the one that’s drained. Not yours!”

He watches me for a beat, his eyebrows dipping. “Is this your attempt at channeling Karina’s over-the-top emotional state?”

I punch him in the chest. Damn. That felt good. “Call me emotional again, and I’ll fuck up your face.”

He grunts and massages his chest with his good hand. “Are you sure? I thought you loved my face, and you find it, I quote, gorgeous.”

“That was before I realized how manipulative you are. None of my previous feelings count.”

“We’ll see about that. Besides, you learned last night that I didn’t marry Kristina and actually reunited her with her lover, who happens to be Konstantin. So your reasons for hating me are null and void.”

“You still went behind my back and stood with her at the altar.”

“The marriage was never going to happen. It was all for show.”

“Then why didn’t you tell me that?”

“Would you have accepted it if I had?”

I purse my lips.

“There.” He throws a hand in my general direction. “Your answer.”

“It doesn’t matter now. Also, this isn’t only about the marriage. It’s about sending someone to eliminate my family and me after realizing we were the last living members of the organization whose annihilation you plotted.”

“I told you that wasn’t true, but it’s clear that you’re not ready to be open-minded and consider that angle.”

“Then…tell me. You mentioned the possibility of a traitor in my family last night. Who is it? Do you have the evidence?”

“Who knows? I need to wait until I make sure you’re not planning to use me for information and then discard me.”

“You already have Anton as leverage.”

“Doesn’t hurt to acquire more.” He reaches over, palms my face, and kisses the top of my head.

The motion is so fast and sudden that I only realize it after he’s done it.

I push at his chest with enough force to nearly send us both tumbling down.

He hits his injured bicep on the headboard and groans.

Shit.

Did he open his stitches?

I cross my arms, my voice dripping with guilt. “I told you not to touch me.”

“I’ll touch my wife whenever I fucking want.” He stands up, and I’m slammed head-first by the glorious view of his naked body. He doesn’t even try to hide his half-erect cock.

But something other than his shameless nudity steals my attention. He’s a lot leaner than the last time I saw him. It’s more drastic than after he was shot in Russia.

I look the other way, refusing to get caught in that web. “Can’t you put some clothes on?”

“Why should I wear them when I’m in front of my wife? Speaking of which, care to relieve the hard-on caused by your constant rubbing against me?”

“I…didn’t do that.”

“My cock would like to respectfully disagree. His state is physical proof of the harassment, as unintentional as it was.”

“It’s not my fault you’re a pervert.”

A low chuckle leaves his lips, the sound flowing around my head, and then he ruffles my hair. “That’s where you’re wrong, Solnyshko. It’s entirely your fault.”

I push his hand away and glare up at him, trying to ignore his dick that’s a tad too close to my face.

He lets his hand drop to his side, his humor dwindling away. “Go get changed. I got you clothes last night and put them in the closet.”

Before I can reply, he heads to the bathroom.

My gaze lingers on his muscular back, his tight ass, and the strong tendons of his thighs that flex with every movement. The tattoos covering them seem like they’re animated.

Kirill stops at the threshold and peeks back with a smirk as if he knew I’d be staring.

I spring up from the bed and throw the covers down. It’s too hot in here.

On my way to the closet, I catch a glimpse of the ring on my finger. The green jewel sparkles under the morning light. Kirill also clasped the bracelet on my wrist. I can’t help the mix of emotions that run through me. A part of me always mourned losing these two items, but now, I’m apprehensive about being back to square one.

Shaking my head internally, I text Maksim.

Do you know where Kirill is keeping Anton?

When no reply comes, I send another one.

Please tell me Viktor isn’t personally responsible for his confinement. That bull would kill him for daring to betray Kirill.

Another more grim thought comes to mind.

Don’t tell me…it’s you? Maks, I know Anton can be an asshole, and he had no right to imprison and torture you all that time, but you’re better than him, okay? Please don’t do something you’ll regret. Text me back when you get this.

My chest constricts as I stare at the screen and still get no reply or evidence that he read it.

Please be the better man, Maks. Please.

I leave my phone on the table and head into the closet. Sure enough, there are countless dresses, pants, shirts, and even jeans. All new and in my size.

Kirill put them with my old clothes that are still there. He must’ve unpacked the duffel bag I took to the basement and also placed the suits and men’s clothes here.

My throat closes when I find my wedding dress hanging at the far end of my old clothes. The veil is draped around it, and the amateur crown of flowers I made sits on the box with my shoes in it.

An influx of emotions hits me, and I fetch the first item and then slide the door shut.

It turns out to be a dress with fashionable, long sleeves. But I’d probably look weird in it.

So I put it back and opt for jeans and a white T-shirt.

After Kirill finishes showering, he walks to the closet and abandons his towel in the doorway. I have to run out so he can change his clothes. He doesn’t seem to be apprehensive about getting naked any chance he gets, as if he’s enjoying playing with me.

After I leave the closet, he merely smiles and shakes his head.

A few minutes later, he emerges dressed in one of his usual charismatic black suits that’s tailored to his body.

I force myself to focus on his face. “Have you assigned Maksim to watch over Anton?”

“Who knows?”

“Stop messing with me. How could you do that?”

“How could your precious brother torture Maksim? He’s lost so much weight and all of his spark, I almost didn’t recognize him when he came back. Don’t you think he deserves closure?”

“You’re just inflaming the situation and making it much worse than it already is.”

“I’m only playing the role of a dark horse of justice. Nothing more. Nothing less. Besides, I told Viktor no torture. So rest assured.”

I’m not confident. He’s relaxed, which is never good news for whoever is against him.

“Now, let’s go. We’re late for a very important announcement.”

“What type of announcement?”

“You’ll find out shortly.”

He starts to grab me, but I step out of his reach. “You need to seriously stop trying to touch me.”

“Why would I stop touching my wife?”

“Your touch disgusts me, for starters.”

“Is that so?” He tilts his head to the side. “Isn’t it, perhaps, the exact opposite?”

I jam my forefinger into his chest. “You mean nothing to me anymore.”

He clutches my hand and is about to kiss the back when I pull it away. “Stop touching me. I mean it.”

Kirill raises his hands as if in surrender, but the gesture is mocking at best.

Is it just me, or did he become tenfold more infuriating in the span of two months?

The moment we get to the main living area, I pause. Everyone, and I mean every single member of the guards, stands near the door, led by the mountain Viktor himself.

Well, everyone except for Maksim.

Did Kirill really assign him as Anton’s guard?

I don’t have the capacity to think about that as I also see the members of the staff standing opposite them with Anna at the front.

Konstantin, Kristina, and Karina are sitting on the sofa, and even Yulia is there, crossing her arms and appearing displeased with the world as always.

As soon as she sees us, her expression changes to that of utter loathing. “What is the meaning of this—”

“Sit down, Mother,” he cuts her off.

“I will not have you tell me what to do, you devil. How dare you have your brute man bring me out here by force? Do you know who you’re dealing with?”

“I have an idea. But you’ll know exactly who you’re dealing with if you don’t sit down this instant. I won’t repeat myself another time.”

Karina shakes and inches closer to Konstantin as droplets splash from her cup of coffee. She’s always been this unfortunate mess of nerves around her mother.

I really hate that woman.

She’s vile, heartless, and has caused her own daughter irreparable damage. Hell, she did the same to Kirill, but probably worse. It would’ve been much better if they’d never had a mother.

Stop it. You’re feeling bad for him when that should be the last thing on your mind.

Konstantin grips Yulia’s hand, and that’s when she reluctantly sits back down.

I try and fail not to look at the guards’ expressions. They must be shocked about the transformation, even though I’m technically the same ‘Sasha’ they’ve known for years.

“I gathered you all here to announce something of utmost importance.” Kirill’s commanding voice confiscates the attention of the whole room.

Even my own back snaps upright before I catch myself.

Stupid old habits.

Kirill slides an arm around the small of my back and clutches my hip. Shivers break out on my skin although layers of clothes separate us.

I’m about to push him away, but then he says, “Sasha is my wife. From today on, you’ll respect and protect her as you do me.”