39.

I haven't slept at all.

We have searched for days now and I told them just to stop trying.

We've searched far and wide, miles and miles, asked packs, even some rouges. But we never found him.

Knowing that Luke left me because of something that I done had killed me in every way possible.

I don't what his last words where before he left, all I have is this stupid note.

It's been 3 weeks and I can't do it anymore.

It's to depressing.

I heard that most werewolf's can't live without their mates, and usually commit suicide a few days after, and I can see why.

It's depressing.

Not having that one person to talk to, be there for you, sleep next to you, to kiss you, to love you.

Without Luke I feel empty.

I don't eat, sleep, shower I do nothing.

Everyone had tried to get me out of the bedroom but they have given up.

He ran away because of me!

Gosh I'm so stupid and worthless.

I haven't spoken a word to anyone.

Luke made me so happy, he helped me, he pulled me up when I was sinking. He was my oxygen, my life, my heart, my love. He made me strong.

I need him!

But no

He just left.

No real explanation.

No words.

No nothing!

What's Luke doing right now??

My wolf hasn't said a word she just cries and whimpers.

"Come on Kat please.." I hear Eve beg.

I just stay silent.

I don't want to talk.

"Nope that's it!" I hear my brother.

"No Toby leave her!" Eve argues back.

"NO EVE! She's been in there for over a 3 weeks now! She's letting the pack down, my down, you down, her self down, and most importantly she's letting Luke down!" He yells busting down the door.

What he was true.

The pack needs their Luna or else we will fall week.

I'm letting all my close friends and my brother down.

I'm letting myself down because of this.

And Luke because... No he left me!

I look up from my knees, that my head has been in for the past week, and see a angry Toby.

"Kat oh my.." He says running towards me, picking me up.

I hear to door shut meaning Eve left.

"Kat come on we have to get you showered, eaten and back to normal." He states.

"But I don't want to.. I can't without him.." I whisper.

"Well at least your not mute again.. Look Kat I know this is hard but you have to for the pack, me, Luke." He continues.

"I guess I can try.." I say getting out of his grip, and standing on my wobbly legs.

I wobble my way into the bathroom and look at the horrid thing in the mirror.

Me...

I look like a corpse.

Pale, blood shock eyes, black bags under my eyes, my hair all messy and dead.

I take off my clothes and start the shower.

I get in the warm water and start thinking about everything, while shaving, washing my hair and body n

I've let Luke down.

I've blocked everyone out for the past week.

My wolf is depressed.

I'm depressed.

After thinking about everything I get out of the shower.

I wrap my towel around me and walk out.

I see someone's left clothes out and I put them on.

Sweat pants, a tank top and my homies beanie and the blue bra and undies.

I brush my hair, out the beanie on and go to do makeup.

I apply very little.

Concealer, powder and mascara.

Once I look sorta decent I walk over to the bedroom door, put my hand on the door handle, take a shaky breath and walk out.

I see Eve standing there with her arms out pulling me into her embrace.

We stand there and hug a few tears slipping my eyes.

"Come on gurl, you got this, lets go!" She says pulling me to the kitchen.

I see Brad and Jake attempting to cook pancakes.

"No Jake you put to much milk in and now it's gonna be to runny."

"No Brad you didn't put enough flour it."

"Nah"

"Yeah"

"Nah"

"Yeah"

This went on for a while until I cleared my throat.

"Luna!" They both say running and hugging me.

I hug them back smiling for once.

"MY COOKIES!!" I hear someone yell.

We brake away and see Eve and Tyler arguing.

"Give it to me."

"Oh baby I'll give it to you any time."

"TYLER!! YOU LITTLY DIRTY FREAK!"

"Only around you baby."

"Give me the cookie. Please?" Eve asks doing her puppy dog face.

Tyler gives in and bands her the cookie.

"Thanks."

I see a pancake sitting there and I look over to Brad seeing him eyeing the pancake too.

Oh no he doesn't.

He must of seen me and he charged for the pancake.

He grabs it, before he can eat it and tackle him to the floor and grab the pancake.

"Ha!" I scream at him. I know for someone who is depressed because of her mate and stuff she is actually smiling and having fun.

"Kat... Please give me the pancake?" He begs.

"Oh you want this?" I ask looking at the pancake and shaking it.

He nods quickly.

"I think NAA!!" And with that I eat it.

"Awwww." He whines.

I turn around and head towards the games room.

I see Harry and Ron in there so I join them.

"Hey Kat. good to see you back up." Harry says hugging me. I feel Ron come up from behind and join the hug.

While watching them I go back to thinking.

Luke actually left.

He's not here to wrap his arms around me, to tell me I'm beautiful, to kiss me, carry me, to talk to me.

Thinking of all this makes me more depressed.

I walk out of the room with tears down my face and into the bathroom.

I look around the draws and see the little blade.

I take it and look at it and my arms.

I hold it up ready.

'No Kat'

'Where have you been?'

'Waiting for you'

'Kat don't do it okay. Your gonna hurt yourself and everyone else. Put it down and walk away' my wolf says.

I listen to her and drop it on the floor.

I need to stop. I really do.

I'm gonna miss the control, the pain, the release, and the other things it comes with. But I need to stop.

(A/N who ever is reading this you should stop too okay! Your all beautiful and mean a lot to people. I would hate it if you end up in a serious condition)

It won't be say Kat but you need to.

I walk out of the bathroom and Toby runs over to me and checks my arms, hips and thighs.

"Thank god!" He says pulling me into a hug.

"Toby I've decided I need to stop so I'm gonna try."

I saw that he his face lights up so much.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!" He picks me up and spins me around.

"Your strong Kat you can do it!"

I smile and run upstairs into the bedroom.

His smell has disappeared, all of his things are here but him and his scent.

I won't touch a thing of his.

I lay on the bed and let sleep take over me.

-3 months later-

Luke hasn't come back. It's been 3 months.

I pray every night that he would but he doesn't. I sit in the main room near the front door waiting for him to run in. But it never happens.

I have taken the Luna duty with paperwork, pack, rouges, befriending other packs. I'm basically the alpha.

We can't have another alpha because Luke hasn't broken his connection so he still can mind link and stuff. I guess he's put up the block.

I'm slowly taking Luke leaving better.

I haven't cut in 2 months, which is really good!

And I'm smiling and laughing and talking to everyone as normal now.

I'm sitting in the main room watching the tv.

Some pretties liers show is on, I haven't paid attention but Eve is crazy about the show.

I have my head phones in now because of her screaming at the tv show.

'My hands,

Your hands

Tied up

Like two ships.

Drifting

Weightless.

Waves try to break it.

I'd do anything to save it.

Why is it so hard to say it?

My heart,

Your heart

Sit tight like book ends.

Pages

Between us

Written with no end.

So many words we're not saying.

Don't wanna wait 'til it's gone.

You make me strong.

I'm sorry if I say, "I need you."

But I don't care,

I'm not scared of love.

'Cause when I'm not with you I'm weaker.

Is that so wrong?

Is it so wrong

That you make me strong?'

I sing

I hear Eve quiet down and I look up from my lap and see Eve looking behind me.

"What?" I ask about to turn around.

Eve just stands there her mouth open like she's just seen Santa.

"Aye Eve?" I stand up and wave my hands in front of her face.

I turn around to see what's she look at and...

I'm gobsmacked.

"Luke?"