Reassurance

Pâro: the feeling that no matter what you do is always somehow wrong

I lightly touched the clothes in front of me, feeling the soft texture under my hands. They're fine. I muttered mostly to myself. But not what I'm looking for. I already have enough clothes anyways. C/n and I had almost taken two hours checking most things out here and we ended up with a decent amount of clothes that were good and were cheap enough.

"I think my job is done here," I said. I put my hands on my waist and smile proudly to myself.

"Thank god, I don't know why it takes so long for girls to pick clothes"

I glared. "I believe there's a reason for that."

"Well at least you helped me pick some things for me" he reasoned.

I dig my hands in my pocket and get thirty-seven dollars out to pay for my clothes. I gave the money to C/n and he took it with a curious and confusing expression on his face. He looked at me and raised his eyebrows grinning once he realized what it was for.

"You really think I'm going to let you pay?"

"Well of course, those are mine."

"I'll pay. Don't worry," he said passing me the money. I denied and pushed his hand away.

"No, It's okay really. Just use it."

I blushed furiously and froze when I felt his hands brush my back and go down. He put the money back into my jeans pocket. I stayed there processing what just happened. I tried to talk and tell him that I could still pay but no words came out. He leaned into me from behind with two fingers still in my back pocket. I felt his breath on my ear and neck.

"I invited you here Y/n. It's only right that I do this because you deserve to be treated better than you think you deserve."

He gave me a small chuckle before he told me he would be right back and made his way to pay for the clothes. I really don't know how he can do that. I soon realize my heart racing. How can a person have this effect on someone?

It's like the best feeling and the worst. Like a poisonous ephemeral flower but so beautiful and ethereal. All you want to do is to touch that flower knowing that it could kill you. Caress those delicate petals even though you know it will crumble in your sight once you do. The pink blush on your cheeks, the nervous yet amazing feeling. Hard to breathe, gasping for air and your heart just skips one beat. You can't just describe the feeling.

C/n and I were currently in a mall. He invited me to spend the day as friends and do random things since we both didn't have anything to do back home. The day was going great.

I get out of my thoughts when I see a girl trying to flirt with C/n. My heart aches but I ignore the feeling. C/n smiles and talks back but he looks desperate and keeps looking around and doing other things to avoid more conversation. The girl continues and touches his shoulder. She takes a step forward and he steps back to make some distance between them. My eyebrows furrow and as soon as I start making my way there, he turns and starts walking towards me. He looks relieved when he finishes paying for the things and the woman gives him the bags with the stuff inside. The girl tries to talk to him but he just turns around wide-eyed and apologizes.

"Please tell me you saw that."

I chuckled at his expression.

"I did."

The girl paid her stuff and walked towards us as her friends followed behind at a distance.

"Umm...Hey again," she said. I could tell C/n was nervous and tried not to talk to her in a bad way and spill it all. C/n's back was to her so I was the only one looking at her with raised eyebrows. She cleared her throat and talked again. "Hello."

He turned around. "Hi," he said.

"bye," he said again.

He reached for my hand and tried to walk away but unfortunately, he couldn't because she talked again.

"Who do you think you are, what kind of disrespectful asshole are you?" She said. She then glanced at our intertwined hands and rolled her eyes.

"Don't you want better?" she said pointing at her body.

I blushed snatched my hand away from his. "Uhh...No! we're not-"

"Actually...she is my girlfriend. And no there is no one better than her in this world. I'm not interested so I'm offended you think my standards are so low." He responded taking my hand in his again. I shivered and my heart skipped a beat as I felt his soft hands against mine. She gasped. I bite my bottom lip trying to hide a laugh.

She's red and fuming. I can't believe C/n just said that. She clenches her hand and says "then prove it!"

C/n and I gave her a confused look.

"She didn't seem to be your girlfriend when I asked. She was about to say you guys weren't together right? So kiss." She says the world girlfriend as if it was the equivalent of the word vermin. Our eyes widen and she grins at our reactions and crosses her arms.

"My pleasure," C/n says and shrugs. He quickly takes his hands to my waist and pulls me closer. He gets closer and licks his lips. He looks at my eyes, glances at my lips as if asking for permission. I smile and lean in to fully kiss him intensely. Our mouths opened and he leaned in more as he held my waist. My hands go for his neck and into his hair. I pull on it as I break the kiss and gasp for air. Our noses are touching and his breath is fanning on my face. Our lips brush with each other and then meet again. It felt like heaven. Wait...Am I actually in heaven?

I kiss him back with the same intensity and I feel his smile through the kiss. My hands go all over his hair and neck. He then asks for entrance biting and licking my lips. I gladly accept and open my mouth. When our tongues meet, I feel fireworks erupt in my stomach. We continue kissing and his hands go up to my neck and then to my chin. We pull away breathless, our foreheads touching. I can hardly breathe. I need oxygen.

"That was..." I said lost in my thoughts and still not believing what just happened. "Amazing" I heard C/n say, finishing the sentence.

We then turned to our sides remembering the girl but there was no sign of her. Well...

I back away, feeling uncomfortable all of a sudden. "Sorry" I muttered. I put my hands on my face suddenly embarrassed. I can't believe we just kissed to prove some stupid thing for a person we're probably never seeing again. C/n probably didn't even like me. He didn't feel the same way I didn't during that kiss. He didn't want it to last forever. He didn't feel the eruption of colors inside of him. He didn't want me like I wanted him.

"Hey.." C/n brushed his fingers on my cheek and put a strand of hair behind my ear. His hand caressed my jaw and he lifted my chin which made me lookup. "What happened? You know you can tell me anything if you feel comfortable with it."

I sighed frustrated.

"C/n...I-..." I closed my eyes and looked down again.

"Do you need space?"

I sighed again and turned around making sure he wouldn't see the tears. "I know you don't feel that way for me...but even if you did, you have so many other options so much better that me. I'm not perfect or beautiful. I do not fit the standards of many people-"

He then put his hands on my waist and hugged me from behind. I felt his hot breath on my neck. "That's why I want you Y/n. You don't fit other standards because you're so much better and you don't even realize that. You're unique. You're perfect for me." He said and began trailing kisses behind my ear and up and down my neck. My heart was beating ten times faster. I turned around and his lips landed on mine right away. Our lips moved in sync. Like they were just meant to be. We break the kiss and I mumble two words quietly making sure he hears me.

"Thank you"

We smile at each other.

"Anything for you Y/n. Seriously."