Aesthetical

Philocalist: a lover of beauty; someone who finds and appreciates beauty in all things.

The skies were as dark and turbulent as a stormy sea. It rolled across the heavens like smoke to invade the whole town. A loud thunder shattered the skies to leak rainfall. I flinched and a black cloud of birds evacuated from the trees. Still, I sat by the window with the forgotten book closed on my lap as I admired everything outside.

"What are you thinking about?"

I turned my head and watched C/n's dilating pupils open like portals to another cosmic universe. His face was beautifully built. His vanilla sent reached my nose like heaven and I kept admiring his face. Every time I looked at  him I could be easily distracted. It was fascinating how a person could have this control over you without them even knowing. My bare arms shook from the light cold breeze that blew past me, ruffling my hair. I quickly stood, and closed the the window making the curtains stop moving and slightly muting the sound of each raindrop making contact with the walls and the pavement outside.

As I sat on the bed next to C/n, he quickly pulled the blanket he was using over us to make a fort. A giggle bubbled in his chest and rose up his throat. I sniggered at C/n's starry gaze, eyes shining like treasures in the darkness of the small space under the blanket. So undeniably beautiful. I wish someday he just thought of me like I think of him. I start to think if there was a slight chance at least he would be happy with me. That I could be an important part of his life.

I turned the flashlight I had with me on and His eyes brightened up. I could see every detail. "What am I thinking about?...hmm" I repeated the question and tapped my chin with my index playfully.

"Possibilities" I tell him honestly.

"What sort of possibilities?" His voice soft and genuinely curious. As if he speaks the wrong words or makes the wrong move, I will suddenly quit being so truthful with him. But I don't.

"Of everything."

He looks at me for a moment, then slowly a smile spreads across his face.

"hope." I continue. "You know...hope is such a funny thing. It's quite laughable that it can be associated with so many things. Like I can only hope that I don't feel so confused and lonely all the time. I can only hope that I can fix my relationship with my old friend who's hair I accidentally messed up with chewing gum. I can only hope climate change can be fixed and all of us can start a sustainable life. Or I can hope that our friendship lasts. That I can get a new pet. That people stop being so dumb. That I could get the future I want for myself..." That you liked me the way I like you. "God, hope is such a funny thing, isn't it?"

Something shifted in the atmosphere. In us. I don't know where any of this is coming from but I can't help but let the butterflies around in my stomach.

"It is." he speaks softly. "But, It's such a fucking lovely thing too, isn't it? Can't we just...hope forever? Shouldn't we?"

But I don't want to...It hurts.

I take a sharp intake of breath as my skin tingles when he caresses my hand with his fingertips. I was surprised. It was unexpected. Suddenly something so simple made me want to explode. The sensation of his skin on mine, showing affection was magical.

I hope you liked me the way I liked you. I thought once again.

"Just to be able to close your eyes and hope anything you desire" He said. I stared at him softly. I watched as his delicate features laid there flawlessly. I started moving my fingers and letting him explore more of my hand with his fingertips. It was electrifying. "Close your eyes Y/n." He said with a voice barely above a whisper.  I did as he said and saw black. The only thing heard now was his steady breathing. I felt his hand on mine. I felt...his hot breath on my face.

His lips on mine.

It felt so perfect. So good. It was slow and with passion. He poured his feelings in that kiss and I could feel my heart going mad. I was shocked and it was scary...but it was so good. I felt out of breath. I pushed him away and the only thing we could hear was our uncontrolled breathing. I looked at him with astonishment and a flushed face.

His eyes  were wide. He realized what he had done. Was it that he was just playing? Did he regret it?

"Y/n I'm sorry... I- I'm so sorry. I did that without your permission. I really shouldn't have done it. We can forget about all of this. It's my fault I know. I let myself go." His hands were in his hair and his face was red as well. He got out from under the covers and stood up right next to the bed. I quickly rushed next to him on my knees still on the bed and stopped him. Grabbing his hand and getting closer to him. I snaked my hands from his shoulder to the back of his neck where I could slightly pull his hair.

Our lips brushed against one another and finally made full contact. Fireworks were there. An explosion of butterflies. He responded right away and put his hands on the side of my face. The kiss was now heated and needy. I didn't want him to go. A violent shiver of pleasure slithered through me as his tongue touched mine. We kissed until our lips were hot and puffy. I met the force of C/n's kiss and gave him equal rawness as throaty moans spilled from me. Our kisses were deep and ravenous. After every short intake of breath, our lips met again because we were both so needy. His hands lightly pulled my hair making me throw my head back and moan, giving him access to my neck. He began to lay kisses everywhere. The feeling was amazing. Euphoric. I could never forget this.

As our makeup session finished, we were breathing hard starring at each other.

"I like you Y/n."

"Yeah it's pretty obvious C/n."

We both chuckled.

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Expect another chapter after this guys ;)