Breaking Hailey: Chapter 21

“You’re going and that’s the end of the conversation, Hailey.” Chloe’s voice rings through the cafeteria.

The place is nearly empty compared to any other day. It’s still early. Not many people wake up early for breakfast on Saturday morning. Neither do I, but I didn’t sleep last night.

Or any night since I kissed Hailey on Thursday.

The fact I broke into her room that night didn’t help. The curve of her ass drove me half incoherent, so I’ve stayed out of her way, taking time off from invading her space at night and hanging out with her during the day to get my shit together.

My thoughts don’t stop circling around Hailey or that fucking kiss for one goddamn second. I watch her any chance I get and catch her watching me too, a hint of curiosity clouding her features whenever our eyes lock.

Today, she’s two tables away with Chloe and Jensen, her breakfast untouched save for three bites of an apple. She doesn’t eat nearly enough, visibly losing weight. It drives me crazy… I have half a mind to force feed her until she gains back every pound she lost.

“It’s not my scene,” she says, scrunching her nose in disgust as she pokes about her plate.

The wrap is good, I polished off mine but Hailey’s staring at hers like it’s infested with worms.

“Go without me. I’ll be fine with—”

“With a book, right?” Chloe mumbles, her mouth full of cereal, milk trickling down her chin. “You’re in college, Hailey!” she adds once she’s swallowed. “Parties are a rite of passage, babe, and this one will be epic!”

“Yeah, I know, I’ll think about it, okay?”

Rachel drapes her arm over Hailey’s shoulders with a soft smile. “It’s not until next Friday but the seniors are heading out for booze tomorrow, so if you want anything—”

“She does,” Chloe pipes in, staring Hailey down. “You’re coming with us. I won’t take no for an answer.”

Hailey’s phone interrupts their conversation. With visible relief she pulls it out of her bag, making apologetic faces at Chloe, Rachel, and Jensen as she presses the phone to her ear.

“Hey, Dad,” she says, catching my gaze as she saunters across the cafeteria.

It’s like she can’t help but look…

Neither can I. The sexual tension between us is wound up so tight it’s a miracle neither of us have snapped.

“Why would I call? I can’t tell you the things I remember or ask you any questions. There’s no point in calling.”

That’s not news to me. I planted a bug on her phone the first night I broke into her room. All calls are recorded, and I listen every morning. She only talks to Vaughn, their conversations vague and growing strained.

He’s as paranoid as ever, which is a good call all things considered. He doesn’t let Hailey talk about her memories, he refuses to answer any questions, and only asks how her day was.

She answers in monosyllables, her frustration mounting, and right now, she lets an ounce of it out as she shoves the cafeteria door open with all her might.

It swings back and forth, slowly coming to a halt.

The sound of a scraping chair and apprehensive footsteps alert me to Jensen’s presence even before his shadow falls over my table.

“Hey, man, can we talk?” he asks, his confidence increasing when I point at the opposite seat. “It’s about Hailey.”

“You don’t say.”

“Listen, I remember what you said by the lake but it’s been a while and you don’t seem interested anymore, so…”

He pauses, probably hoping I’ll save him the trouble of elaborating, but I enjoy his squirming too much to cut his misery short.

“There’s another party next week, and…” Jensen swallows hard, resting both elbows on the tabletop, straightening his spine. “What I mean is that Hailey’s fair game, right?”

“Wrong.”

“Come on, you clearly don’t give a shit and I—”

“And you want to fuck her.”

I shepherd my flaring temper. It’s not like I care about who fucks Hailey. I only care about the memories hidden in her mind. The secrets. The truths.

Jensen doesn’t realize how fragile she is. He might threaten the integrity of those memories. Any fear, any traumatic moment could trigger a panic attack. According to the doctor’s notes, panic attacks, among other things, could threaten her recovery. It could jeopardize the progress she’s made, recalling small flashes of her forgotten past.

If that happens… those memories could be lost forever.

My father wouldn’t mind. After all, breaking Hailey is my task, but the nagging sense I’m being led by the nose grows stronger every day. The story Rhett fed me, like the story Hailey’s father fed her, doesn’t fucking add up.

There’s more there. Something out of my grasp. Something I’m not fucking seeing and that something might be hiding in Hailey’s mind. I need her safe, calm, and happy. It’s the fastest way to uncover the truth.

That’s it. That’s all this is. It’s the only reason I don’t want Jensen anywhere near her…

It’s also a blatant fucking lie.

I shouldn’t care, but I do. More than I should considering how easily I can access her memories. I don’t need to be close to her, just her diary.

Judging by the chaos inside my head whenever she’s close, and especially when she isn’t, I shouldn’t be anywhere near her. I should thank Jensen for offering me a way out, but the mere idea of him or any other man with her makes my skin break out in hives.

“Try your luck,” I say, pinning him down with a pointed stare, every word measured. “See what happens.”

Jensen threads his fingers together, lifting his chin higher to inject more confidence into his posture.

“Yeah, alright,” he drawls in a challenging tone. “I’ll do that. Let Hailey decide what and who she wants.” He rises to his feet, a hint of mockery tainting his features.

That guy’s got a fucking death wish, I swear.

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

I’m not sure why he thinks I won’t make good on my promise. I don’t know how he’s missing the threat in my words or the unhinged look in my eyes, but he is. Either missing or ignoring.

I bet he thinks he’s calling my bluff… Well, he’s in for the surprise of a lifetime. I’ve not had an outlet for my all-consuming rage over Aalyiah’s death. Or the anger that intensifies and gains mass with every fucked-up memory Hailey recalls about Alex. Or my annoyance at the indignity of playing a fucking college student, doing my father’s dirty work.

All that rage needs an out. I’ve scrupulously bottled it up, but Jensen’s twisting the cork.

He’s a civilian, I remind myself. He’s not worth the trouble or the risk… I can dream, though.

The cafeteria doors swing open again and Jensen’s smile brightens as Hailey comes back in, her pretty face a canvas of frustration and sadness.

He stops mid-step, blocking her way. “Hailey, I—”

“Can we do this later?” She cuts him off quickly and doesn’t wait for an answer, walks round him like he’s not actively barricading her path.

As soon as she clears him, her gaze finds mine.

It’s almost a reflex by now, how our eyes find each other. Then she’s at my table, her hands knitting an invisible sweater. She’s cute when she’s this nervous, like she’s afraid what I’ll do, but wants to spend time with me regardless.

“Help,” she whispers, glancing over her shoulder to make sure Jensen can’t overhear, then back at me, her voice hushed. “Get me out of here. Please, I need to clear my head.”

“You want to go for a ride?” I subtly remind her about her father’s security measures. “You can’t leave without permission.”

If she sets foot off campus without following procedure, Vaughn will be here tomorrow to pack her bags.

She slumps into the seat opposite, hiding her face in her hands. “I feel like a prisoner.” She blows out a resigned breath, her shoulders sagging. “I bet I’m not even allowed to stroll through the woods now.”

She looks up, her defiance ebbing away, leaving a resigned Hailey behind. It’s not a version I’ve often seen. Given all the shit she’s been through and all the shit she’s still dealing with, she’s resilient but, today, she’s nearing a breaking point.

I can’t have that.

“Go grab a jacket and meet me back here in ten minutes.” I reach for my phone.

“No, you’re right. I can’t leave. You’ll get in trouble as well if I get spotted—”

Trouble. That’s adorable.

“You won’t get spotted.”

Me: I need a blackout. Surveillance system at Lakeside. Parking lot and gate cameras. Now.

Ryder’s reply comes in seconds. Two words: on it.

“Go grab a jacket, Hailey,” I repeat. “You want a coffee for the road?”

“But how? There are cameras everywhere.”

I get up from the table, pulling her to her feet. “The less you know, the better. Jacket, pretty girl. Go. We won’t have long to get out of here.”

Her eyes widen, but there’s a flash of gratitude there too. “Okay, I won’t be a minute.”

She hurries away, passing Jensen at the door. He’s waited there the entire time, but Hailey doesn’t pay him any attention, even though he clearly wants hers.

I approach the coffee machine, feeling someone’s gaze burning my neck. Chloe and Rachel immediately drop their eyes when I look over my shoulder. They’ve been on my case since I took Hailey stationery shopping.

While Rachel limited her advice to a simple be careful, Chloe went into a full, clumsy version of that Poirot guy Hailey reads about over dinner.

With two coffees, I exit the building just as Hailey rounds the corner, wrapped in a flimsy fucking cardigan that barely falls low enough to cover her perky ass.

“That’s not a jacket,” I say. “You’ll be cold.”

And you’ll end up wearing my hoodie again.

“I’ll be fine.” She grabs one of the cups, a little breathless, probably from running across campus to make it back inside three minutes. “Are we waiting for something?”

Right on time, a message comes through.

Ryder: Done. You have ten minutes.

I pocket my phone, meeting Hailey’s anxious gaze. “Come on, we have ten minutes.”

“What? Why ten—?”

“Doesn’t matter,” I interrupt, lacing our fingers.

I have no clue why I did that. I shouldn’t, but her small hand fits in mine perfectly, so I don’t let go. Not until I’m opening the passenger side door for her.