Chapter 13

It has been two days since Makenna's discussion with Thea and Atlas. She'd had enough time to think about what she needed to do, what she had to do. Thea was completely right and she hated that every time she was around him, she became too tongue-tied to say what she had to say. But that didn't mean she had to go looking for him to give him a piece of her mind. Which is why she was still avoiding him at all costs.

"Can you believe the second assessment is in less than two weeks?" Vanessa asked Makenna as they exited another lecture hall that day,

"Hmm,"

"There's a part of me that's excited to be nearing the end of the semester, but another part of me just isn't looking forward to the midterms and finals in May."

"As long as we don't have any of Professor Montey's classes in our final year."

"Senior year." Vanessa smiled, "Doesn't feel that way."

Makenna glanced at her, knowing exactly what she meant. It felt like they'd joined college a few weeks ago.

"So," Vanessa glanced at her as they stepped out of their department, "What's going on with you and Atlas?"

Makenna hated that she immediately felt guilty, probably even looked it,

"Nothing."

"Oh, c'mon Mac, it wouldn't take a genius to see that you've obviously been staying away from him."

"What gave you that impression?" Makenna stopped and turned to face her,

"Let's see," Vanessa mirrored her stance, "You avoiding him at the library on Monday and then running away after seeing him with Will when he called out to us."

Makenna opened and closed her mouth but Vanessa beat her to it.

"Not to mention, the looks you've been giving each other since that party you invited me to last month."

Makenna stared at Vanessa in disbelief.

It hasn't been that long.

She wanted to say but she knew she would be walking into something with that one. She could already hear Vanessa's question after that. Something like 'So there is something going on'.

"I don't know what you mean," Makenna said instead,

"Sure, you don't, and I believe you."

Makenna narrowed her eyes,

"You're being sarcastic."

"C'mon Mac, you're not kidding anyone but yourself."

"I'm just not sure what you want me to say."

"The truth, Mac." Vanessa sounded expectant, "The truth."

Makenna looked at her for a moment; a part of her wanting to share her burden with someone else. But years of conditioning didn't let her.

"Atlas and I are fine, have been fine. As friends - good friends." She forced the last part out of her mouth,

"Have we now?"

Makenna froze and felt everything inside her shut down. Makenna watched the smile that crept to Vanessa's lips as she gazed past her where Atlas stood.

"Hey, Atlas." Vanessa sounded too chirpy,

"Hi, Vanessa." Atlas' voice cut through Makenna's nerves which were starting to rise,

Makenna clenched her jaw and she glared at Vanessa,

"You!" She whispered between clenched teeth,

"I thought you said 'nothing'." Vanessa whispered back and leaned in, "This is definitely something."

Vanessa walked past Makenna,

"Bye, Atlas."

"Bye, Vanessa."

Makenna hated that everything in her was hyper aware of him standing right there, behind her. It almost felt like he was too close, but she couldn't be sure.

"Mac?"

"Uhm-hmm."

"I'd prefer if we had this conversation with me looking at your face rather than the back of your head," Atlas smiled, "Although it's pretty to look at too."

Get yourself together!

Makenna scolded herself when she realized she was about to smile at what he said,

Don't let yourself go!

Makenna swallowed and numbed her expression before she turned around to face him.

She inhaled sharply when she realized how close he was standing to her. She stumbled backwards as she immediately tried to get away from him. Atlas was quick to hold her arms and keep her steady.

"Are you alright?"

"I-I'm fine."

Stop it!

Makenna scolded herself as she realized she was, once again, getting lost in his eyes,

She pulled away from his strong grip and distanced herself. Atlas' hands fell to his sides as he carefully watched her.

"What is it you wanted?"

Cause when I catch you, I'll show you how pointless it was.

His words replayed in her head,

"You've been avoiding me."

"You need to stop."

"You're the one who keeps running."

"And I told you I don't want to be chased."

Atlas was silent for a moment like he was hearing that for the first time. He started questioning everything he'd thought, wondering if he'd read the signs wrong.

She kissed me back.

He thought.

"What about the..."

"The kiss?" Makenna forced the memory out of her head and focused on setting him straight, "The one you're supposed to forget about."

There was silence as he studied her,

"And you? Have you forgotten?"

"Only when you aren't bringing it up."

Atlas forced a smile,

"So, you're saying that I misread the situation."

"I'm sorry to be the one to break this to you, but whatever it is you read was a mistake." Makenna said, "There is nothing. There can't be anything and there never will be."

We're not friends and we never will be.

He remembered the words she'd spoken before they became friends. But unlike the last time, he was feeling unsure about the situation and her words played on his uncertainty.

Atlas inhaled softly and shifted his gaze from hers,

"Ease your grip on the knife." He muttered,

"I'm sorry?" Makenna frowned slightly,

"No, I'm sorry." Atlas looked at her, "I'm sorry I put you in a position that made you feel like you needed to avoid me."

Makenna blinked, surprised at the one-eighty turn he just made.

"In fact..." Atlas took a step back, "I'll be certain I keep my distance from now on. You don't have to keep avoiding me anymore."

Makenna expected to feel the lightness in her heart but it felt heavier. It almost felt like what she wanted hadn't been what she needed. The elephant-sized weight on her chest didn't ease and she struggled to catch her breath. Seeing the sullen look in his eyes didn't help either.

The smile he flashed her did nothing to conceal that look, it just made her feel worse than she already did.

"I'll stay away from you, Makenna." Atlas turned and left Makenna standing there wondering why she felt the tightness in her chest grow as he got further away from her.

This is what I wanted.

She told herself but felt no satisfaction at getting it.

It's Easter tomorrow!

I would love to know if/how you celebrate Easter.