5.

🤍Y/N🤍

It was around 2 in the morning and I was up since we got back into the house from our date. I sat up some seeing chris sleep, I faintly smiled at him. I then slowly got out of the bed. I went downstairs sitting on the couch in the dark. I placed the throw covers around me and unlocked my phone googling the signs of "postpartum depression".

I was reading the background on it then one of the information stuck out to me.

"Depression that occurs after childbirth.

Those who develop postpartum depression are at greater risk of developing major depression later on in life."

"I'm not depressed though" I said to myself continuing to read

"people may experience:

Mood: anger, anxiety, guilt, hopelessness, loss of interest or pleasure in activities, mood swings, or panic attacks

Behavioral: crying, irritability, or restlessness

Whole body: fatigue or loss of appetite

Weight: weight gain or weight loss

Cognitive: lack of concentration or unwanted thoughts

Psychological: depression or fear

Also common: insomnia or repeatedly going over thoughts"

I read then thought to myself, My birth control was already fucking me up I didn't need to get pregnant just so that could fuck me up too. I then clicked on an article as it fully loaded reading "postpartum psychiatric episodes increase women's risk for subsequent divorce, separation."

I immediately came out of the article going back to google.

I wanted to know if this is what I had the first time will I get it again with another child.

"Women who have suffered from postpartum depression are more likely to go through it again after subsequent pregnancies, a new Danish study shows.

Postpartum depression occurs 27 to 46 times more frequently during subsequent pregnancies for mothers who experienced it after their first birth, researchers report.

These results show that women who have had postpartum depression in the past should prepare themselves if they get pregnant again, said lead researcher Marie-Louise Rasmussen"

I read and immediately started bouncing my leg.

What if Aaliyah was right and I had postpartum depression the first Pregnancy not knowing that's what it was and here I go about to possibly do it again and it's worse. I tossed my phone to the side placing my head in my hands beginning to cry to myself.

I started looking at maybe having a surrogate but I wouldn't want to put that woman in that type of pain either although they were okay with it I didn't want too and also They get attached to the baby just as much as a regular mother so I also didn't feel comfortable with doing that. so I just stopped looking into surrogates.

I sat back on the couch staring into the dark and I soon fell asleep.

__________

I woke up and looked around, I looked at the time on my phone reading 8:12 AM. I decided to just get up and go to the gym. I went upstairs going to wash then got dressed in some workout clothes.

I placed my hair in a ponytail driving to a private gym going to go exercise.  I went on the treadmill jogging at a certain pace while listening to "Girls in the Hood" by Megan Thee Stallion and on Twitter. I was scrolling seeing a lot of people congratulating me along with others saying "Not my Lois Lane" while black Twitter was still going crazy with the news of me being Lois Lane.

Someone tweeted as I giggled liking it. I then continued to scroll seeing another tweet.

I just shook my head why was black Twitter like this? I can honestly say they always make my day. Henry better keep his eyes and hands to himself unless we filming, the fuck. I don't want to be mean but I think I got to start being mean especially now that I believe Chris is feeling a way about this whole me and Henry situation.

I seen another two tweets back to back about Henry and I at the oscars like two years ago when we were eating Girl Scout cookies.

They were really cutting the fuck up. I continued scrolling through my feed seeing another tweet from one of my followers that I followed back a long time ago.

I liked the tweet then retweeted it with laughing emojis.

People then started liking the tweet as Both Chris and Henry liked the tweet. "@Y/N.Evans I'm proud of you and I pray you Continue with your success. Love you always❤️" Chris tweeted as I smiled and liked the tweet retweeting it. I then seen someone @ a woman who was complaining about me being Lois lane

I laughed at the pictures of Ben Affleck then pressed the sleep wake button on my phone then immediately my phone started vibrating. I looked at it seeing I had a notification from Twitter. I seen a girl @ me in the notification. I then opened the tweet fully reading it.

I immediately went to Henry's Twitter reading his tweet.

"Normalize Shutting the hell up and watching the movie😂 #MyLoisLane " Henry tweeted linking the trailer to "Man Of Steel". I just giggled then seen he liked the girls tweet. Henry about to get himself into some trouble not with me though he better be easy.

"@HenryCavill they about to cancel you for that one😗be easy though😂🤣" I tweeted because the people who were having a hard time accepting this change were going to drag the hell out of him. He retweeted my tweet with laughing emojis. I started getting an incoming call from Chris as I answered it immediately. "Hey baby" I said. "Hey where'd you go?" He questioned. "I'm working out right now, I needed to get up and clear my head some" I admitted.

"You want to talk when you get back?" He asked "yeah" I said as we said our goodbyes and I hung up continuing to work out. I decided to make a TikTok of myself working out since I haven't did a TikTok in forever. "Female Goat" by Lakeyah was playing as I started doing mountain climbers.

I did some other exercises. Editing it to where I did mountain climbers, Russian twists, squats, fire hydrants along with kick backs. I placed "Female Goat" on top of the video then posted it on my tiktok.

I got into the car driving back home. I pulled up into the drive way seeing Chris standing outside with Christiana showing her the snow as I just smiled. I got out the car "you need your coat on" Chris stated with a smirk as I giggled walking up to the porch. "I was hot" I said. "How was your workout?" He asked holding Christiana as I smiled at her. "Hey mommy" She said excitedly as I giggled "hi baby" I squealed.

"It was good" I said to Chris. "You look good" He complimented as I playfully rolled my eyes walking onto the porch. "Thank you baby, I know" I thanked posing for him as he chuckled patting my butt and placing a kiss on my lips before we walked inside the house.