: Chapter 3
Bridesmaid for Hire
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST IS IT HUMID HERE.
I stare at the white linen suit I purchased as one of several outfits for the weekend. Jaleesa took me shopping once I agreed to go to the wedding as her representative. Iâm still not sure why they want someone from work there when itâs a close family event, but Jaleesa reassured me they like to create a unified closeness. Theyâre determined to show employees that they arenât a bunch of harsh nobility up ensconced in their penthouses and looking to fuck with everyoneâs lives.
Still feels weird, but whatever.
Iâm here after an eleven-hour flight from San Francisco, followed by a boat ride, where I threw up into the azure blue water. I found out something about myself todayâboat rides make me extremely nauseated. Like keeled over the side, hanging on to the boat for dear life as I said goodbye to the two protein bars, bag of pretzels, and mandarin orange I scarfed down on the plane.
And then after dropping my bag off at the bellhop, I just so happened to run into freaking Maggie Mitchell.
Out of all the people to see on the small island of Bora-Bora, it has to be my best friendâs sister in a tiny-as-shit pink bikini.
Of course, just like every other interactionâbesides one we wonât talk aboutâshe was irritated, rude, and fully annoyed. And I havenât done anything to her. Sheâs been like that from day one. Just irritated to see me. Must be my face. I donât know.
But I canât focus on that. I have to put her out of my mind and remind myself why Iâm here and the plan for tonight.
Still feeling green and unsettled, I stare at myself in the mirror of the menâs room in the Saint Hopper lobby. Opulent paradise is the perfect way to describe this hotel. With its polished hardwood flooring, tiled walls that mimic the effects of stacked bamboo, wooden crossbeams along the ceiling, and thatched light fixtures, it gives you the feel of paradise with the added elegance that Hopper Hotels are known for.
Not to mention, this means an attendant is standing in the corner of the bathroom with a towel draped over his forearm, minding his own business but also probably waiting for me to have a mental crisis as I stare at myself in the mirror.
I lean forward over the sink and turn on the water. I splash some water on my face, hoping that will help with the nausea. Granted, a few hours ago, I got lost and had no time to call up my roommate for the week, a local in town who offered me a chair to sleep inâyes, a single chair. The sacrifices Iâm making to win this proposal are unmatched.
Boat nausea.
Chair bed.
Unruly wench sighting.
Iâm dealing with it all and can still sport a smile.
When I lift up and wipe the water from my eyes, the bathroom attendant nearly startles me right out of my goddamn sneakers, now standing about a few inches away, holding out a towel.
âJesus fuck,â I say, taking a step back. âDude, make some noise before you scare a guy like that.â
He bows his head, saying nothing as he holds the towel out to me.
I give the man a quick once-over, trying to decide if heâs trustworthy or not, but when he doesnât move, towel outstretched, I realize that heâs probably programmed this way and Iâm going to have to take it.
Towel in hand, I dab my face as he goes back to his position near the door. Yup, programmed.
âSo,â I say. âYou excited about the wedding this weekend?â
He stares straight ahead, completely still like a Buckingham Palace guard. I see how this is going to go.
âYeah, me too,â I say as I strip out of my shirt from the plane and fold it on the counter. I take my towel that I dried my face with and wet it so I can wipe my body down. Yup, thatâs what weâre doing right now. If I had my way, Iâd be taking a shower before the welcome reception, but given the fact that these bungalows are over fifteen hundred a night, there isnât a batâs chance in hell that Iâm forking out that kind of money to stay here. I make decent money, but not fifteen hundred a night kind of moneyâ¦for a week.
I swipe the towel across my chest, leaving my armpits for last and when Iâm done, my bathroom attendant friend is at my side again, offering another towel.
âThanks,â I say as I slowly take it from him. âIâm Brody, by the way. I work for Mr. Hopper back in the San Francisco office.â
The man nods and returns to his position by the door.
âYou know, I wouldnât tell anyone if you talked to me. It could be our little secret. Could kind of use the company, as Iâm a bit out my depth at the moment.â When he doesnât say anything, shocker, I go on, âIâm actually here to try to get on Mr. Hopperâs good side. After the wedding, heâs deciding between projects to back, one of them being mine. Iâm hoping to, I donât know, put in a good word for myself, you know?â He stares straight ahead, causing me to sigh. I open my toiletry bag and take out my deodorant, toothbrush, and toothpaste. âThis weather is nothing like San Francisco. This isâ¦this is like walking through a thick cloud of water, the humidity is making my nostril hairs curl.â I glance over at him and no, not even a smile. âI actually donât have any nostril hairs. My best friend Gary? His wife made us do this thing where she stuck wax up our nose with a stick attached, and we had to answer trivia questions. The first person to get two wrong lost one stick. Either way, we both lost because we couldnât live with the wax up our noses. It had to come out somehow. And that hurt like a motherfucker, but you knowââI tilt my head back and examine my noseââmy nostrils have never looked better. So maybe worth it in the end.â
I apply some deodorant and air out my armpits, letting them dry for a moment before putting my shirt on.
âDid you know Iâve never worn linen in my life? But my manager back home took me shopping and said this is what I should wear.â I gesture toward the linen suit that I carried onto the plane with me out of fear of it wrinkling and getting lost. âNot a fan, feels like Iâm wearing some first aid gauze as an outfit. Jaleesa tried to pair the white ensemble with a light pink shirt, and I told her to go to hell. I was not showing up looking like fucking Don Johnson from Miami Vice. So we paired it with a white shirt. The colors are just off enough to have some dimension, but they donât make me look like a douche. Not sure how long the jacket will last. Iâm already sweating just thinking about having to put it on. Do people get dehydrated here quickly with the amount of sweating they do?â
I slip some toothpaste on my toothbrush, and then start brushing. I lean against the counter, facing my new silent friend and I study him. What a freaking shit job. Just having to stand there and hand out towels. Is it his choice to not to talk or is that a job requirement? Could never do it. Iâd go crazy.
I spit out my toothpaste, rinse, and then wipe my mouth withâ¦a new towel thanks to my friend.
âNow Iâm going to change in front of you, okay? Iâm not about to hop around putting on a linen suit near a toilet in a small stall. That just screams disaster waiting to happen. But I have to warn you, Iâm wearing nude colored boxer briefs. Jaleesa picked them out for me. Said I couldnât wear black with cream linen pants. But fucking nude? They make me look like a goddamn Ken doll, no dick, just a flat crotch. Not a fan. Just warning you so youâre not startled.â I strip out of my joggers, toss them on the counter, and then slip on my linen pants.
âUgh, fuck, I hate the feel of these. They touch my skin in a weird way. Oh, you know what it reminds me of? Have you ever seen The Santa Clause with Tim Allen and the annoying, whiny kid? Well, when Tim, or Scott Calvin if you will, has to put on the dead Santaâs suit and the fabric is all flowy and gross and heâs like âyou never know where this has been.â Thatâs the same kind of feel I get with these.â
He shifts on his foot, and I feel like I got him on that one. He liked the referenceâI know he did.
I tuck my shirt into my pants, then reach for my cologne, but my man is at my side before I can even uncap it. He takes the cologne from me and holds it out, ready to spritz.
âOh, is that part of the bathroom package? Okay, sure, hit me up, dude.â I hold my arms out awkwardly, and he sprays me on my neck, my chest, and my waistline, just above my crotch. I look up at him with a raised brow, questioning the placement of that last spray, but he just returns the bottle back to me and saddles up in his position one more time.
âThat wasâ¦different. But thanks.â I then take the linen jacket off the hanger and drape it over my arms and shoulders. Christ, this is coming off the moment I walk into this welcome receptionâbecause the wedding of the century needs an extra reception at the beginning too.
I pair the rest of the outfit with a brown belt and brown loafers, knowing my feet will soon be sloshing around in sweat.
I look up in the mirror, adjust my short hair, styling it in the messy way that makes it so easy to not have to worry about my hair, and then tug on the lapels of my jacket.
âNot bad for someone who just spent over eleven hours travelling and threw up on a boat.â I smirk at myself. âLooking rather dapper if I do say so myself.â I turn to the side and lift the back of the jacket to check out my ass. I give it a slight shake from side to side. âYup, looking really good. Those glute exercises in the gym have been paying off. Look at this thing,â I say as I turn toward the bathroom attendant. âIf I knew youâd do it, Iâd permit you to give it a good squeeze. But you wonât talk to me, so I doubt youâll test the pure steel of my ass.â I straighten up. âYour loss.â
I pack up my things, shove them into my suitcase, and then zip it up. Iâm going to leave the suitcase with the bellhop and hope for the best.
I roll my bag over to the attendant and stand in front of him. I reach into my wallet and pull out a twenty-dollar bill only to place it in the jar on a table next to him.
âI was going to give you ten, but the spritz to the dick doubled your tip. Thanks for the help, man.â I clasp him on the shoulder and give him a squeeze.
Just as Iâm about to leave, he shocks me by saying, âYouâre welcome.â
âHey, you do talk.â I smile at him.
He stares back at me.
I smile bigger.
His brow creases.
Did I anger it?
Him, I mean him. Did I anger him?
No time to figure it out. I start to leave again, just as he grabs the door for me and whispers, âMr. Hopper hates linen suits.â
And then he shuts the bathroom door behind me.
Crushing my confidence with five words.
Wellâ¦what the fuck?
MAGGIE
Maggie: Does this dress make me look too slutty?
I stare at the mirror, taking in the tropical print maxi dress. The top is a little precarious, one of those tops that you sort of make up as you go. Basically, itâs two long straps connected to a flowy skirt, and you loop and tie them around your body to cover the goods.
When I purchased it, I was dreaming of bulges in Speedos, but now that Iâm wearing it to a business function, or at least I hope that I am, Iâm second-guessing the design. Unfortunately, itâs the most modest item I have in the closet.
My phone dings with a text.
Hattie: Some might say not slutty enough.
I knew she was going to say that.
I gather my clutch, key card, and slip my sandals on before exiting my bungalow. Iâve always dreamed of staying in a place like this, waking up to a view of the ocean. I have my plunge pool that comes with privacy fences so if I want to dip in naked, I can. Thereâs also a private dock that leads into the crystal-blue water of the lagoon. Money well spent.
Not to mention, it comes with a personal golf cart and bikes to get around. How cute is that?
I step into the golf cart, set my clutch down and call Hattie, knowing itâs really late in California, but sheâs probably awake given the type of sex schedule she has with Hayes.
She answers on the second ring.
âYou know itâs late here.â
âSo then why are you up? Hmm?â
I can practically hear the smile in her voice. âNone of your business.â
âThatâs what I thought.â
âAre you off to go flirt your way into someoneâs pants?â
âWe have a slight change of plans.â
âOoh, did you already meet someone?â
Well, someone walked into my resort life, but thereâs no need to worry my friend with that news because heâs going to be avoided at all costs. If I donât speak him into existence, then he doesnât exist here. Thatâs the clear logic Iâm convincing myself to believe.
âNo,â I say as I step down on the pedal on the golf cart. It takes off on a leap and a shriek falls past my lips. Ease into it, Maggie, ease into it. âI, uhâ¦I heard some news while at the pool today and before I tell you that news, I want you to know that I spent all day thinking about it and what I should do, then I weighed the pros and cons of it all. So, I donât want you believing I havenât put good thought into the situation.â
Sheâs silent for a second and then says, âIf you tell me youâre going to do some sort of work while youâre there, Iâm going to disown you.â
âHattie, just listen.â
âOh my God, Maggie. Youâre going to work, arenât you? This vacation was supposed to help you relax. Youâre not supposed to jump into helping someone with a wedding. Thatâs what it is, right? You overheard someone talking about their destination wedding, and you couldnât just sit by and let it crash and burn when you know you can help.â
âWell, not exactly,â I say as I slowly steer the golf cart down the plank bridge, water on either side of me. âMore like, I found out some news that could be beneficial to my business.â
âUnless itâs the king of the world, itâs not worth it.â
âClose to the king of the world,â I reply. âItâs Reginald Hopper. His daughter, Haisley, is getting married this weekend. And from what I heard, thereâs an issue with the wedding party, and I figured since thereâs an event today at the resort, the very resort Iâm staying at, I would just, you know, wander over there and see if I could be of any assistance.â
âMaggie,â she sighs as I hear Hayes grumble next to her, âLet her live her life, babe.â
âThank you, Hayes,â I shout.
âSheâs working,â Hattie counters just as I hear the distinct sound of kissing.
âHey, tell him to stop that,â I say. âIf youâre awake, I get you for now. He can have you after.â
âHold on, if I stay in bed, he wonât stop touching me, which will turn into a show for you. Give me a second.â I hear Hayes grumble again and then the sound of a door clicking shut. âOkay, I have maybe five minutes before he comes charging into the bathroom.â
âMy envy is disgustingly high at the moment.â
âSorry.â She chuckles. âOkay, so who is Mr. Hopper?â
âUh, Hattie, Hopper as in Hopper Hotels, the largest chain in the country.â
âOh shit, really? Hold onâ¦you mean like Hopper of the Saint Hopper Resort where youâre staying?â
âYes,â I say exasperated. âThis is huge, okay? He owns so many freaking hotels and what do hotels like to host? Weddings. My business could be the go-to for any weddings hosted at the Hopper Hotels in San Francisco. This could be astronomical for me.â I pull up to the resortâs main building, which is surrounded by a jungle of tropical flowers, and park my golf cart in the parking spotsâseriously, such a nice touch.
âOkay, Iâll let you get away with the possibility of talking to him tonight, but after that, you need to relax.â
âOh, of course,â I say, even though in the back of my mind, I know if he asked, Iâd drop everything to assist the Hopper family. Itâs all about taking those shots and making moves when it comes to growing a business. I might fail miserably every once in a while, but Iâll never know what could have been if I donât at least try.
âGood. So, where are you headed to now? By the way, the dress is somewhat slutty but also classy. Great cleavage but nothing like the swimsuit earlier.â
âGood to know,â I say as I start walking down the garden-lined path toward the dining area. âThereâs a welcome reception that Iâm headed to where I hope to run into Mr. Hopper.â
âWelcome reception for the resort or for the wedding guests?â
I freeze, thinking about it. âShit, youâre right, for the wedding guests. Which means they probably have a guest list.â
âA guest list that youâre not on,â Hattie says.
âUgh, I didnât even think about that. Man, vacation mode has put me off my game.â I keep walking toward the Lanai Bar, wanting to at least get a peek at the festivities. âDo you think I can play the old, my name should be on the list game?â
âDo you ever fall for it when working on your events?â
âNever,â I say, âbut who knows, this is paradise, maybe theyâre moreâ¦â My voice trails off as my eyes connect with a very familiar face.
âYou there?â Hattie asks.
âOh my fucking God,â I whisper as I quickly hide behind a pole in the lobby.
âWhat?â Hattie asks. âDid you see him? Mr. Hopper? Think heâs looking for a single lady? I know nothing about him. Is he wearing a Speedo?â
âHeâs married to a woman named Regina who is the definition of poise and class,â I hiss into the phone. âAnd no, I didnât see him, I saw someone else.â
âWho?â Hattie asks.
I peek around the pole again, just to confirm, and sure enough, standing in a cream linen suit, one hand in his pocket, the other holding his phone, is none other than Brody McFadden.
This is exactly why you donât speak the devil into existenceâbecause he shows up everywhere you go. Just look at him, standing there, all aloof. Is he going to the Hoppersâ party?
He looks like his grandma dressed him for it.
But why would he be going?
And then it hits me.
He works for Hopper.
âWhatâs going on?â Hattie asks.
I hold the phone close to my ear and whisper, âBrody is here.â
âBrody? Who the hellâ¦waitâ¦nooooooooo.â
âYes.â I swallow.
âBrody as inâ¦Mr. Make-out-and-Leave?â
âThe one and only. Heâs in the lobby, outside of the restaurant wearing a cream linen suit that looks ridiculous on him.â
âWhat shirt is he wearing with it?â Hattie asks.
âWhite.â
She exhales. âAt least it wasnât pink.â
âTell me about it. Surprised the douche didnât grab the pink. That would be something heâd wear.â
âWhat are the chances that heâd be at the same resort as you at the same time?â
âHigh,â I say as I squeeze my eyes shut. Unfortunately, very high. âHe works for Hopper.â
âWait, he does?â
I nod, remembering the conversation I had with Gary two weeks ago. âYeah, Gary called me and said that he thought Brody should settle down and asked if you were still single. He told me that he has a great job with Hopper Industries, but I didnât think much about it because I was so appalled that heâd even consider asking if you were single.â
âFlattered, butâ¦no.â
âYeah, I told him you were dating someone of much better status. I proceeded to gush about Hayes and that pretty much ended the conversation. Butâ¦I canât believe I forgot about it.â
âSo that means heâs there for the wedding, which meansâ¦he could be your in.â
Ew, no thank you.
Iâd rather pretend to be Reginaldâs long-lost cousin and face massive ridicule and rejection than ask Brody for help.
Do you know why?
Because Brody isnât the guy who lends out favors without something attached to it, like constantly reminding how he did me a solid. I donât need that.
âNo, thank you,â I say. âThereâs no way Iâm asking him for help.â
âWhy not? It would be so easy. He gets you into the wedding and the party, you make a great impression, maybe help with whatever planning problem is happening, then bam, youâre partnered up with Hopper Industries.â
âI donât think it works like that.â
âNot with that kind of negative thinking,â she says. âTell me what other options you have, because the my name was supposed to be on the list option is an instant fail.â
I think about, trying to figure out a way to get on the inside, but unfortunately nothing comes to mind, which meansâ¦she might be right.
But it doesnât make it any less nauseating to think about. Brody would be the easy in. Heâd be a safe bet. Heâd say yes because Iâm Garyâs sister and sure, heâd never let me live it down, but heâd let me do it.
Then again, we donât get along. That may be a hindrance. We bicker, fight, and insult each other whenever we get a chance. Would he be able to hold back his barbs in front of the Hoppers? I would hope so, the man is a professional after all. But any time heâs hanging out with my brother, and I happen to show up, heâs a dick to me, Iâm an ass right back, we clash, and then ruin whatever party Patricia was kind enough to put together. Seems too risky.
âHe could be an in,â I say. âBut given our history, I doubt heâd be eager to let me into this wedding week. He doesnât like me, remember? Finds me repulsive.â
âI find him repulsive.â
âThank you,â I say on a sigh. âShit, this is not what I wanted to happen.â
âAre you done, baby?â I hear Hayes say. âIâm fucking hard and need your mouth.â
âJesus,â I say as I feel my nipples perk up. That voice of his, Iâm telling you. Unlike anything Iâve ever heard.
âGive me one second,â Hattie says right before I hear another kiss. I wonder where that kiss was placed. âSorry, I have to go, but know this, I donât want you working, not on your well-earned vacation, but if an opportunity arises to help you grow your business, you donât have any other choice but to take it, donât you think?â
âAre you saying that I need to use Brody McFadden to my advantage?â
âI am. You use him so hard that heâll regret ever making out with you at your brotherâs wedding and then taking off as if nothing ever happened.â
I peek around the pole again and deep downâ¦I know sheâs right.
If I want to get ahead, I need to make moves.
Any man in business would do the same thing.
Maybe itâs karma from walking away unsatisfied.
So, itâs time to blast Taylor Swiftâs âThe Manâ in my head and do what I need to doâ¦use Brody McFadden for my benefit.