Chapter 16

Liam's POV:

Throughout the years, I had found myself fantasizing, again and again, about having a mate.

Memories of struggling to fall asleep at night when the thought of them, whoever they could be, enraptured my mind. I had a notebook that I'd kept since I was eight with date ideas and little things I could say to make their day better. Looking back, it was honestly pretty sweet of me. I still had that notebook, but I didn't look at it often because the usage of female pronouns in the beginning before I started using gender-neutral ones had made me uncomfortable ever since I knew Milo was my mate. Once I had gone back and tried to erase and rewrite the pronouns, but when you're eight you don't really think about the future so I'd made the executive decision to use crayon. Very intelligent of me, I know.

Instead of writing a name on the cover of the notebook like Mate Book or something stupid like that, I had instead drawn a big heart and filled it in with smaller hearts whenever I felt sad, but we really don't have to get into that.

I had found it that weekend while cleaning out my closet- Mom was going to take some of her old clothes to the thrift store, so Paisley and I were also tasked with getting the unused clothes out of our dressers and I had also decided to get a head start in deciding what I needed to keep when Milo and I moved in together. I had been at it all morning and it was past noon so I had already been thinking about taking a break, so when I found the old notebook shoved with a bunch of old school notebooks in the corner, I decided to take half an hour and flip through it.

Despite my awful handwriting, it was actually pretty cute.

The first page had my name, the date, a big green heart, and inside the heart, the words, 'Say 'I love you'.'

I choked on my own saliva at that.

The rest of the pages held things of a similar caliber. My handwriting gradually improved over time, over about the three to four years I worked on this little project, but my suggestions definitely did not. In all honesty, the first page probably had the best suggestion out of all of them- the rest were things like 'Give them flowers' and 'Go play at the park'.

I found myself flipping the pages back to the first page. The heart at the bottom was lopsided, one half larger than the other and the round bits at the top a little bit shaky, but it made me smile a little bit all the same. My finger subconsciously traced the wonky letters over and over, feeling the indents in the page where I'd pressed too hard.

'Say 'I love you'.'

I really should take my own advice, I thought to myself, but I knew there would be a lot of careful contemplation on both ends before either of us felt ready enough to announce it.

If I was being honest to myself, I was scared of it.

I felt like I had my world turned upside-down in the past half year, and not because of Milo or anything he did or because of his gender. The whole mating thing was a lot stronger than I'd anticipated, every moment apart was a moment gone to waste and sometimes, a deep ache in my chest would spur me to go see him again. And it hurt because I knew that he didn't feel that way, yet at least, since he didn't feel the mating pull.

Yet sort of me was also kind of gratified, because it knew that he didn't feel the mating pull, which meant that everything he felt for me was something he would have felt, werewolves or not.

I did love him.

I just wasn't ready to say it.

In all honesty, I was a little bit scared of how much affection I felt for a simple human being- well, werewolf. A single word and I'd be there, a gesture and I'd jump off of a bridge for him, if he truly wanted it. That was a scary thing to know, that this small creature now controlled your life with no say on your part.

A small creature, I thought with a snort. Really?

Well, Milo was small and also a creature. Small creature.

It sounds like you're talking about a child.

"Okay, yeah, that does sound a bit wrong," I mumbled aloud with a smile.

"Liam, Sage and Juliana are here!" Mom called from downstairs. "I sent them up!" The sound of footprints on the stairs proved her words.

I looked around for a moment, wondering if I needed to hide anything before they burst in, before my gaze settled on the heart-covered notebook in my hands. Maybe I'd show it to Milo one day, but to my friends, it was a definite no-go. I sent it under my bed in a fluid motion, hearing the small thump as it hit the far wall just before the door to my room flew open and a grinning Julie stepped in, followed by a slightly slower Sage.

"The hell happened to your room?" Julie asked, collapsing on a beanbag in the corner and looking around at the piles of clothes in distaste.

"Um, sorting clothes for Mom to take to the thrift store?"

"Is that pile your 'keep' pile?" Sage asked with a gesture towards the much smaller of the two. I winced.

"Yes?"

"You're going to have no clothes!" Julie shouted, sitting up with wide eyes.

"Well, most things in the other pile are way too small and probably should have been taken out a long time ago. Besides, I literally wear the same ten T-shirts on repeat, you know this," I groaned at them. "And I'm keeping the suits and everything, because I still need those apparently."

"You do," Julie insisted.

"You're going to end up as one of those people with like two pairs of pajamas and seven shirts like Milo," Sage sighed. I looked at him curiously. "What? Haven't you seen his tiny dresser?"

"I have, I just didn't think you had," I admitted, trying to push away the small surge of jealousy it brought out in me.

"Yeah, I go over to his house sometimes and we hang out," Sage shrugged. "We get along pretty well. His chicken is cute. What's her name- Blossom?"

"Bubbles," I corrected absentmindedly.

"Anyway, he's nice, I'm fairly nice sometimes, we get along."

"Fairly nice sometimes," Julie snorted. "Sagie, you are the nicest person I've ever met, and that is meant in a very nice way."

Sage blushed. "Thanks."

"So why are you guys here? I'm assuming it's not to chastise me about my clothes choices."

"I just want to complain," Julie sighed, "and I decided I want to complain to both of you, not just Sage. So I kind of kidnapped him and now we're here."

"It was not kidnapping, I came of my own free will, you just also had me sneak out through the window for some reason even though it made no sense because Dad would have definitely let me go."

"Potato, potatoe," Julie shrugged.

"What did you want to complain about?" I asked, eyebrows raised.

"I haven't found my mate yet, what do you think?" she groaned, leaning back on the beanbag and closing her eyes. "And it's so fucking annoying, like I know they're definately alive, but I have no idea where I can even begin looking. And then you've known your mate since your birthday, and Sage hasn't even had his birthday yet, but Adriel has, and so neither of you would know the agony."

"Does it hurt?" Sage asked quietly, coming to sit next to her on the beanbag.

"Not nearly as much as my word choice would suggest," she shrugged, dark eyes opening as she looked across the room at me. "It just feels like suddenly, something's just missing, like when you have a puzzle with literally one piece missing but you also have the piece to a different puzzle instead of the piece you actually need, but you lent that other puzzle to someone else and now you don't even know what to do with it."

"I'm sorry," I said guiltily. And it was true- I had been so wrapped up in my own mating struggles, even though there weren't any huge struggles to speak of, that I hadn't even given a second thought to my best friend.

"I know," she replied flippantly, cracking her back before standing. "And that's why we're going to all go get ice cream and then maybe go work on that History essay due Monday that I've been procrastinating on."

"Willingly working on an essay, this isn't the Julie I know," Sage mumbled, but we both stood anyway and followed her out of the room. I grabbed my wallet as we left, knowing that I'd be stuck paying for everyone's ice cream, which I didn't really mind but would be a lot more awkward if I refused.

"I've gotta get into college somehow so I don't end up working at the bakery for the rest of my life," Julie shot back in response. "You two've got it easy, you don't have to get into college but still make like a hundred thousand a year by taxes and whatnot."

"Yeah, at least you don't have to go to any fucking political meetings and discuss the future of the packs like you actually have a say in anything," I muttered darkly, remembering that I had to join my father in meeting with the alphas of the two nearby packs tomorrow. I had never liked the meetings.

"Don't worry, you'll have a say soon," Sage laughed at me as I entered the driver's side seat and honked at the two still standing outside like idiots. Julie took the spot in the passenger's seat, causing Sage to groan as he laid down in the back. I ignored him, starting to reverse the car out of the driveway, so he quickly sat up and put his seatbelt on.

"I have a question," Julie said after a few blissful minutes of driving in silence towards town.

"Go on," Sage asked.

"Is water wet?"

"Not this again," I groaned, stopping at a red light and sighing heavily, only partially exaggerating.

"Yes," Sage said decisively.

"Okay, but why?"

"Because water is a liquid and all liquids are wet," I offered as I pulled into the parking lot and we all hopped out.

"I thought water wasn't wet, it just made other things wet?" Julie asked.

"Well, then wouldn't water make itself wet?" I really didn't understand what Sage was saying, so I left them outside and went to order what we always got.

"One mint chip, one cookies and cream, and one strawberry, please," I told the teenage girl at the counter, who nodded and typed the numbers into the cash register. "All large."

Goddess forbid I get them anything less than the biggest size, I thought with a small smile as I handed my credit card over. I heard the ding of approval before my card was handed back to me and the girl began scooping the ice cream.

"Thank you," I said with a practiced smile, placing a five-dollar bill in the tip jar as I accepted the ice cream and turned away, towards the door where I could see Julie and Sage still arguing about the water thing through the glass.

"Come again," she smiled as I left the shop.

"Thank the Goddess, I'm so hungry," Sage groaned as I handed him the mint chip ice cream. Julie giggled as she accepted her cookies and cream ice cream.

"A round of applause for Liam, paying for our daily dose of sugar," she smiled.

"This is your daily dose?" Sage sounded horrified. "Julie, my daily dose is more than four times this amount-"

I burst out laughing as his face reddened.

"So what did you guys decide? Is water wet, or no?"

"We kind of just gave up," Sage mumbled with still red ears through a bite of his ice cream. "It got complicated and she started talking physics at me."

"It was more chemistry, but yeah, complicated," Julie grinned. "Goddess, I missed this. This mate bullcrap has taken away from my time with both of you."

"Considering it's March, forty degrees outside, and we're still eating ice cream, I'd say that's a good thing," I pointed out. She wrinkled her nose at me.

"It's sixty degrees, mister."

"That's still in the range of coldness."

"I missed it too," Sage sighed, sinking low in his seat. "It's crazy to think that by this time next year, Liam and I will be mated- wait, no, that came out wrong, I mean mated to other people-" The fiery blush had overtaken his cheeks again as he buried his head in his hands and let out a loose groan.

"We get it," Julie grinned, though she was probably memorizing the event to tease him with it later. "Go on."

"We'll probably be mated to other people, out of school, Julie, you'll be in college and will hopefully have found your mate as well. It's just crazy to think about. It feels like we're still thirteen, having sleepovers and spilling the tea like the toddlers we were. I don't feel grown-up enough for this."

"I don't think any of us feel grown-up enough for this," Julie sighed in response. "I get it."

"Those sleepovers, I cringe at the memory," I laughed.

"We were truly horrendous," Julie grinned. "I'll miss you guys, someday when we've all grown apart."

"I really hope that doesn't happen," Sage sighed. "I might cry."

"We won't leave each other." I tried to make my voice sound more certain than I felt. "We're all in the same werewolf pack, and as long as Julie's mate doesn't live on the other side of the world or anything, there's no way we're leaving each other."

I hoped.

-

"Liam, are you ready to go?" Dad shouted up the stairs at me. I repressed a groan but reluctantly shoved my History homework aside- I had never thought there would be a day I would prefer that to any other activity- and left my room, making my way down the stairs.

Paisley was over at the Thompson family home playing with Caleb, but Mom was in the kitchen. She was placing some newly baked cookies on a plastic platter that she then covered with foil and handed to me. "Good luck, dears," she whispered as she leaned forward to kiss my forehead.

"Ready to go?" Dad asked me. I nodded at him, carefully balancing the plate of cookies in one hand. "Great. We'll be going then, Maya."

"Good luck," she said again, louder this time, her green eyes searching her mate's hazel ones. They stared at each other lovingly for a moment before moving in for a kiss, and I looked away, feeling as though I was invading a personal moment even though they were my parents.

"See you later, love," Dad said to her with a smile as we left the house and entered the car. Usually we might run there, but since Dad was bringing paperwork and the day was quite bright, meaning we might have gotten spotted if we weren't careful, the decision was made to simply drive.

Soon enough the car parked outside of our usual meeting area, a small abandoned church in the prime central location between all three packs. While it was almost falling apart on the outside, one of the locked doors on the inside led down to a basement that was more cleaned up and looked sort of like an official business meeting area.

The alpha of the Northlight pack, Clarissa, was already seated at the table. She was only a few years older than I was and had only recently become the alpha, but she was calm and confident and wasn't afraid to take what she wanted. Her pack was the largest of the three that were meeting today, though not by a large margin- and the numbers were constantly fluxing so no one was quite sure.

"Alpha Clarissa," Dad nodded at her as he took his normal seat at the table. I looked around awkwardly for a moment, unsure where to sit- it had been over six months since I last attended one of these meetings, after all, and I wasn't quite sure what to do. However, Clarissa gestured to a chair between herself and my father, so I shrugged and took it.

"Alpha Chase," Clarissa nodded in response before her dark eyes brightened. "Are those cookies?"

"They are," Dad grinned as he opened the foil with a flourish.

"Thank the Goddess, I was starving," she groaned as she grabbed one and took a bite. A few minutes of silent chewing later, her eyes opened again and she looked at me. "So I heard you found your mate, Liam, how's that going?"

"Good, good," I nodded with a barely-concealed blush. "It's going well."

"It's a very brave thing, what you're doing," she nodded along. "I don't know a lot of people who would be able to do that without even batting an eye."

"Treating Milo like a human?" I blinked. "I'm kind of just doing what I would if he was a female."

"It takes a special person to not see and acknowledge those gender roles," she shrugged at me. I felt my cheeks flush as I self-consciously glanced at my father, who was studiously ignoring me in favor of his papers.

"Finally," he groaned a few minutes later as the third and final alpha walked in, Alpha Beckett, the alpha of the Shadowtrail pack. "Alpha Beckett, how are things?"

"Going good, Alpha Chase," Beckett replied with a grin as he too swiped a cookie from the platter. It made me slightly uncomfortable how they were all referring to each other with 'alpha' in front of their names, but it was custom so I didn't mention how if it had been literally any other scenario, these titles would be disregarded for friendly banter instead. "Shall we get started?"

So we did.

-

The car ride back to our own pack was silent as I mulled something over in my mind.

To say, or not to say? I pondered. To reveal or not to reveal?

I decided to open my mouth before I could rethink it, because that seemed the best solution.

"Dad," I said slowly. His hazel eyes slid over to meet mine before returning to the road.

"Hmm?" he hummed in response.

"You know... in June... when Milo and I mate..."

"Is this about moving out?"

My jaw slacked in surprise when he accurately guessed what I was going for. "Yeah- how did you know?"

"I figured you weren't going to ask me for sex advice, this seemed the most likely option." A small smile played around his mouth at his words.

"Yeah," I sighed. "I was just wondering if you'd be okay with me moving in with Milo? In his house. Until I become Alpha and we move somewhere else. I asked him if he'd prefer staying in his house or moving somewhere else right away, and he said he'd rather stay in his family's home." I watched his expression nervously for any sign of disagreement, but his expression stayed calm.

"Of course, you're an adult and you're welcome to make your own decisions," he finally said graciously, causing me to blow out a sigh of relief. "That might not be exactly what your mother has to say, but she knows you two need your space as much as we did."

"Thanks, Dad," I sighed. "I just wanted to run it past you first, since Mom's obviously going to freak out whenever I bring the idea up. Just wanted to make sure it was something that could feasibly happen."

"Well, I didn't expect you to mate with us all in the house," he muttered with a blush now on his face as well.

"Okay, let's stop talking about this," I said loudly, and laughing, we moved on to slightly less embarrassing topics.

I loved my dad, I really did, but the fact that we were both so awkward talking about such topics made it very, very uncomfortable whenever we had to.

--

I think this is the first chapter in a while where there's no Milo-Liam interaction, but of course I could be entirely wrong, feel free to call me out on that lol

anyways hi. This chapter felt short when writing but it's like 3.5k words? so pretty long lol.

so yeah. vote and comment and do all those wonderful things, they lift my spirits and make me happy :)

thanks for reading!! see ya next week!

-bloom :)