Chapter 7

Liam's POV:

After the informal meeting, Mom insisted we all go to the park. I wasn't too crazy about the idea, especially since Milo looked supremely uncomfortable and Adriel looked like he wanted to ditch all of us and leave. Except maybe Milo, I doubted he'd leave the brunet here with us.

Seriously, Mom, why the park?

Sage was the first to talk, which I wasn't surprised by. "So how is everyone?" he asked in a forced-sounding cheerful voice.

"Fine," Adriel responded flatly.

Milo nodded with a tilt of his head. "I'm okay."

"Good, I guess."

"What do you want to do? I mean, we could go to the park, but I don't really know what we'd do..."

"We could just walk around the town? Stop in some stores or something, maybe say hi to Julie since she's working today," I offered. "It would probably be nicer than hanging out with toddlers."

"Sounds good," Sage nodded.

"Is that okay?" I asked, directing my question to the two quieter ones. They nodded.

"Where to first?"

I turned around and gestured to the first shop I saw. "Here."

Upon entering the small store, I realized that it was a grocery store. Of course. It looked nice, though, with vegetables arranged in baskets and barrels tipped to their sides. At least it wasn't an ugly grocery store.

"Is this where Daniel sells my vegetables to?" I heard Milo ask quietly behind me, his voice barely a whisper to Adriel. The brunet nodded once. That was interesting; while I knew Milo had a vegetable garden, I had never thought that he- or his legal guardian- might sell the vegetables, though of course it seemed silly now that Milo and the Scotts ate all of them. Still, I wasn't going to mention anything- not to let them know I'd been listening to their conversation.

Apparently Sage didn't have the same subtlety I did, and said, "You sell your vegetables? Cool!"

Milo flinched at this, and Adriel visibly hardened his exterior. Sage wilted slightly.

"Daniel does," Milo said quietly, looking around. "I don't really do anything but grow them."

"That's still cool," Sage insisted. "I can't even keep a plant alive, I can't imagine how hard it must be to keep an entire garden fit for eating."

"Aren't you named after a plant?" I asked, amused.

Sage turned pink. "For your information, I was named after my grandmother." Adriel and I laughed, and Milo smiled. Sage scowled. "She was a cool lady, okay."

"I don't doubt it," I smiled, looking away and scanning the shelves since I had never been able to bring myself to leave a shop without purchasing something. It just felt like I was cheating the workers out of money, since I had chosen to enter the shop, after all. Finally I spotted a box of packages of dried sunflower seeds- something I was 60% sure Milo hadn't grown- picked up four, and walked over to the counter.

"That'll be seven-ninety-six," the worker said, printing the receipt as I forked over the money. "Thank you for your business, sir."

"Great," I said, turning away from the counter. "Let's keep walking."

-

We went to Daniel and Adriel's house for lunch, which Adriel insisted on, probably because it was one place that Milo felt comfortable in and Milo had, for the majority of our time spent together that morning, looked somewhere between supremely uncomfortable and extremely close to a breaking point. I couldn't blame him. I had wondered what I could do to make it better for him, but since I knew barely anything about him and Adriel seemed to think the best idea was to be silent, I followed in his footsteps, even though it made me feel awful for not even trying. The worst part was, I had no clue where to even start.

Sage had always been good at that sort of thing, and so had Paisley, but Paisley wasn't there and Sage was chatting animatedly, locked in conversation with Adriel as they both worked to make the lunch, Milo working silently by their side. I had been attempting to help but my mediocre cooking skills left me standing off to the side, unknowing how to even start to help. I did end up opening up the refrigerator and asking everyone what they wanted to drink.

Adriel was making the sandwiches; ham and cheese, simple but smelled very, very good. However, after he had finished putting three together, he turned to Milo, who smiled at him wearily. "How much?" he asked in a whisper. Milo just shook his head, sending confusion rolling around in my gut. Adriel sighed heavily, placing the knife he was using down on the counter and placing a hand on his head for a moment. "I'm sorry," he muttered. Milo nodded and they went back to working, silently in agreement.

I was surprised at the jealousy in my gut.

Sage was silent, despite obviously having heard it as well. Our hearing was impeccable, after all, as werewolves. Yet neither of us brought it up.

Why had Adriel said it aloud, then? I couldn't help wondering as we all sat down at the table, Milo's sandwich noticeably smaller than the rest. He must have known that we could hear. Yet why would he not use a mind link, if he knew?

Perhaps he was trying to give a tip, lend me a hand, as a way of speaking. Milo was a very secretive person, after all. I knew almost nothing about him other than the basics about his tragic past, what had happened to his family, and the quiet, meek attitude he had adopted ever since. Adriel had been Milo's protector, but he seemed to just want him to be happy.

Or maybe it was an honest mistake. Either way, after thinking about it for a few minutes and completely missing what everyone else was talking about.

"And then Julie drew one with really squiggly lines, and it hurt everyone's eyes but I ended up winning because Liam and Julie are idiots who would rather cancel each other out than stop me because of a grudge about Julie stealing his animal crackers in History," he said animatedly.

I blinked. "Sorry, I spaced out. What are you talking about?"

"I'm telling them about that time when we were all playing Tic-Tac-Toe and Julie drew the really squiggly one and you and her basically let me win because neither of you stopped me."

"Oh, yeah," I nodded. "I do remember that. She stole my animal crackers."

Milo smiled slightly as Adriel snorted, drawing my attention to them. They sat side by side, both of their hands down under the table, presumably on their laps or next to them on the chair. Adriel's sandwich was completely gone and his glass of milk empty, but Milo seemed to have taken three bites and the glass of milk seemed full. That was interesting; while the sandwiches certainly weren't anything fancy, they tasted fine. I debated questioning it for a moment before deciding there was no harm in asking and opening my mouth.

However, my head was quickly invaded by a voice that wasn't my own. A voice that had become slightly familiar through this brief half-day. Don't, Adriel's voice hissed, filled with more venom than I had ever heard. I was startled, blinking a few times before closing my mouth, realizing that he had not, in fact, snuck into my head in some mystical way, he had used the link. Which, I supposed, was a sort of mystical way.

Sage laughed and elbowed me jokingly. "Forget what you were going to say?" he asked, grinning. I nodded, smiling. I hadn't, but I also wasn't willing to admit how genuinely surprised I had been by Adriel. Plus, I doubted he'd appreciate me talking about it, especially in front of Milo.

"Must not have been that important, anyway," I commented. "Anyway. What do you guys want to do now?"

"Milo and I actually have to go work on history," Adriel said assertively.

"Oh, okay," I replied, a little bit let down. "Well, Sage and I can get going."

"That would be great."

"Okay," Sage smiled, standing and pushing in his chair and picking up his plate. "Where should I put the plate?"

"I'll take it," Adriel replied, taking the plate out of his hands and stacking it on top of the ones he had already collected. Sage stared at him for a moment as the brunet grabbed a wet rag and wiped down the table, his cheeks beginning to dust pink.

"Okay, well, have a good rest of your day," I said, rather loudly, nudging Sage with my elbow and nodding towards the door. He stood up, almost knocking his chair over in the process, and waved goodbye with a sheepish grin. "What the hell was that," I asked, bursting out laughing as soon as I was sure we were far enough away.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he defended, crossing his arms and looking away.

"You totally do," I teased him, "there's just no way you don't. Simply no way."

He struggled for a moment, trying to think of a response. "Shut up," was eventually the best he could come up with. I started laughing again and he joined in, though his laughter was tinted with embarrassment.

-

Milo's POV:

"I think Sage likes you," I said conversationally as I helped Adriel clean up lunch, scraping my mostly uneaten sandwich and Sage's crusts into the garbage can.

Adriel rolled his eyes. "I think Liam likes you," he replied in a deadpan voice.

"Okay, but-" I insisted.

"Stop playing matchmaker," he sighed, smiling. "Are you done with those plates?" he asked, gesturing to the empty porcelain plates I'd left next to the garbage can once I was done with them.

"Yep. And also, do we really have another history essay due?"

"No. But they don't know that."

"You're so mean," I grumbled, crossing my arms.

"Not mean. You wanted them out of your hair too, right?"

"I mean, it was getting kind of... strange."

"Exactly. I just helped." He set the plates in the sink and turned to me. "Do you want to go harvest more carrots now?"

"Okay," I agreed. We left the house silently, Adriel locking the door behind us, and walked silently into the forest until we reached my house. Then I retrieved the basket from inside, let Bubbles loose, and settled myself on the other side of the basket, across from Adriel, as we worked through the rows. He hummed under his breath, as he had that morning, but I couldn't focus. I kept spacing out, wrapping myself in memories and fantasies, thoughts of the past and future, and I kept accidentally stopping in the middle of something just to think something through. I knew Adriel noticed, but I couldn't figure out how to make myself stop, so I resolved myself to keep silent about it. It seemed to work.

-

That night before dinner, Adriel asked if he could stay over again, but I declined. I needed to think some things through and I knew if he was there, I wouldn't do that. So he left, after making me promise to call him if I needed help or anything, and I ate an apple for dinner alone with Bubbles at the table.

Then I went outside, my hands dug deep into the pockets of my sweater as I walked around the house, making my way into the nearly dead flower garden my mother had loved so much. I had never been able to figure out how to grow the flowers; whether it was something with the soil or some other factor, I could never manage to revive them after I moved back into this house. However, wild flowers grew nearby, so after examining the ground for any sign of life (there were none), I resolved to just pick a few, three to be exact, and head back inside. I put them in a vase that I then carried upstairs.

A creaky floorboard was all that was visible to the human eye. A werewolf might notice the slightly larger gaps on either side and wonder if it had come off in the past. I knew it as my past, the only thing that had kept me alive on the night my family perished.

Alive, yes. Scarred, yes, but not physically.

It had been a long time since I'd opened it up again, but it didn't protest at all; it simply sat on top of the hiding place. I was too large to fit inside now, of course, but it now housed my most prized possessions. There was a locket that my mother used to wear, with a photo of all four of us inside. A few pesos from when my father moved from Mexico that no one in town would take, even if I wanted them to. A piece of art on a canvas that Malena had made, probably a day or so before. I remembered her being proud of it, the cherry blossoms falling from the tree. She had always been an artist.

The last item in the cubbyhole belonged to me.

It was a journal. Daniel had gotten it for me many years ago to help me cope, saying I could write down my thoughts and feelings and it would help me get my hurts out there without really telling anyone except myself.

I had been hesitant at first, but over the years, I had started using it more and more whenever things became tough. Many of the items written about were menial, such as my homework being stolen and sending me to tears.

I flipped through my oldest entries for a few minutes, remembering the pain I had felt and being thankful that now I didn't feel that. Which was probably a good thing, considering my problem was something that shouldn't be a problem in the first place. My mate.

Reaching into my dresser drawer, I retrieved a candle that smelled like vanilla and cinnamon along with a lighter. I lit the candle, inhaling the scent and smiling as Bubbles came to sit on my lap. I rubbed her head with my finger as I turned to a new page and wrote the date in the corner.

I don't know what to do, I wrote, my life seems so strange all of a sudden. Like I took someone else's life and kind of mushed it with my own. Liam (the alpha's son) had his ceremony of adulthood and he looked at me strangely so Adriel and I left because I kind of freaked out, but then he and Sage followed us home and apparently we're mates. We haven't really done anything mate-y though. We're kind of getting to know each other better, but platonically. He's nicer than I thought, and so is Sage (the beta's son). Juliana seems nice, too, but I haven't talked to her that much. Or at all. I guess I just kind of listen in on everyone else's conversations.

I don't know what to do, though. I know the expectation for the alpha and his mate is to, well, mate, but I don't feel comfortable doing anything romantic and it feels so weird even saying it. I guess we couldn't mate until my birthday even if I wanted to, but now I'm just dreading it.

I don't know what the best course of action is, either. This journal is supposed to help me organize my feelings, and I guess it's working, but I just don't know. And I can't talk about it with Adriel either, even though I know he wouldn't say I couldn't. It just feels so personal, and even though he's my closest friend and I've literally spent years of my life with him, I don't want to burden him with my own problems.

I guess I can just keep being not hostile. I don't know what the word is, since it's not exactly friendly. Open to talking? Or being talked to? Anyway. I just hate the idea that I'm disappointing someone, especially since I don't know what I should be doing. My head hurts.

I closed the journal with a sigh. It did feel good to get my feelings out, but that was enough for tonight. I stared at the vase of flowers for a moment, Bubbles asleep in my lap, counting one, two, three. Three lives taken while mine was spared. Papá, Mamá, Malena. I reached out to touch the yellow flowers softly, my fingertips grazing the petals before I blew out the candle, carefully transferred Bubbles to the bed, changed into my pajamas, and stood on my step stool very carefully to turn the light off. After the room was plunged into darkness, it was a mad race to get into the bed and tug the covers up to my chin. It wasn't much like a comforting hug, but it was close.

Close enough for now.

--

how y'all doing?

comment here, i wanna talk to people and be less antisocial lol