Chapter 111 My Heart Wont Allow Me To

Her words were simple yet Xiao Zhi Ren knew that she meant it. She had a weird habit of not saying things she didn’t mean wholeheartedly. It was her way to be sincere.

Ru never learned to say shallow words. She would always say what she felt, not caring about the feelings of the other person.

"Thank you for choosing to stay," Xiao Zhi Ren said sincerely. The gentleness in his voice was almost scary for Ru. She wasn’t used to people being this gentle with her.

"Actually, I should thank you for not asking about anything. I know there is a lot going on in that head of yours. But..." she gave tired sigh as she went around the kitchen counter and continued, "I really can’t answer. There might be some question which even I don’t know how to answer."

Xiao Zhi Ren took a seat at the high kitchen stool facing the kitchen counter and her who was standing on the other side. "I can understand and even if I can’t I’ll try to do so. That’s the least I can do."

Ru ignored the way he was looking at her and went to whip up a coffee for him since he really seemed to like it. Xiao Zhi Ren didn’t disturb her while she made herself busy. He was just silently gazing at her in contentment. He literally felt ecstatic knowing that this was all not just his dream anymore. He could see her every day.

"There you go, one black coffee," she grimaced even at the sight of that coffee.

Xiao Zhi Ren chuckled at her reaction and asked, "You really are not fond of coffee, are you?"

’I have enough bitterness in life, don’t want to add a bit more.’ She thought to herself but changed her words when she opened her mouth, "I’m already known as a bitter person, don’t need coffee to spoil people’s day. I can do a better job on my own. Thank you very much!"

Xiao Zhi Ren was amused by her answer. He knew her words were bitter but only to those who couldn’t digest the honesty like hers. She attacked violently not just with her hands but also with her words. She was indeed a ruthless player who really didn’t know when to shy away. Who would look at her say that she almost died tonight?

This reminder was enough to tense Xiao Zhi Ren and tried to ease his nerves by distracting himself.

"Ran Zi is surprised to see that Yuan is quite fond of your company and he doesn’t get attached to people so easily." Xiao Zhi Ren said while Ru was busying boiling some water for tea.

Thinking about that little squirrel, Ru gave a slight smile. Xiao Zhi Ren felt a bit jealous seeing her smile at the name of his brother but he didn’t know that her smile was because Yuan was a reminder of her own brother whom she missed a lot. All her care towards Yuan was because she felt sorry for leaving her little rice-cake behind.

Before the bitterness of his absence could take over, Ru mumbled, "Little squirrel is adorable. I don’t find it weird that he takes time to cozy up with people. We live in a world where our own shadow is not on our side. It’s only right to be cautious about people."

"Yes. But his distant behavior makes him an outcast."n/ô/vel/b//in dot c//om

Ru gave a lopsided grin as she said, "We are all an outcast. We are only wearing the shells to feel like we belong somewhere. But we don’t even realize that by wearing those shells we are actually hiding the beautiful pearls that lay inside."

Yet again with her words, Xiao Zhi Ren felt something unshackling within himself. It was a good feeling but scary as well. Since even he didn’t know how much she could undo him.

After savoring the taste of his bitter coffee, Xiao Zhi Ren stood up to leave. "I think you should rest. We can talk some other day. Don’t run around and please get some sleep."

Was it concern? Or was he just being bossy with her? Either way, Ru didn’t mind it. Oddly, she felt too tired to come up with a retort for him.

"Yes, boss!" She gave a playful salute with her two fingers making him roll his eyes at her.

He was about to leave but turned around to say, "I can promise to keep your secret and I won’t ask anything either but don’t expect anything else." Ru’s brows creased up a bit but he continued, "I can’t look at you as a sworn brother anymore. My heart won’t allow me to."