12. Lemon Sunset

The roads stayed clear the entire drive back from Sian's, not one red traffic light delaying our journey. If only the rest of my night was that easy.

On the way home, my stomach knotted and I started feeling nauseous. I dreaded the moment I would have to walk into my house, expecting to be met with my father's shouts or my mother and sister's frosty attitudes.

As promised, Alec stood by my side as I waited for whatever fate had in store for me. Opening the front door, we were greeted with a burst of pungent and sharp citrus aromas. Once the initial sharpness settled, a buttery chicken smell mixed with the lemon wafted through the air. My mouth watered and my belly managed to rumble, even with the sense of trepidation that lodged itself in the pit of my gut.

"Are you ready to go in?" Alec whispered, rubbing my lower back.

"Honestly? I feel like I might be sick." Taking a deep breath in, I wiped the hair that stuck to my forehead out of the way and rolled my shoulders.

The sound of laughter, mixed with the clattering of plates and cutlery, echoed down the hallway from the kitchen.

"Here goes nothing." I slid my shoes off and placed them neatly on our shoe rack. Alec followed suit, then gripped my hand in his.

"Natasha is that you, dear?" My mother pushed the kitchen door open. Her voice was high and cheery, a contrast to the ice-cold glare directed at me. Upon seeing Alec, the scowl on her face relaxed as she ran her hands down her dress to smooth the material out.

"Mum, I'm so sorry I'm late. We went to Petersfield to visit Sian," I stuttered.

"It's all my fault, Mrs Wilson. I'm really sorry. Natasha warned me she had to be home to help you but I lost track of time and kept her out longer than I should have," Alec butted in, my full name out of his mouth sounding alien.

"No need to apologise, Alec. You're just in time. Care to join us? I've made plenty to go around." Not too dissimilar to a toothpaste advert, my mother flashed a wide toothy smile.

"If you're sure you have enough, that would be lovely." Perfect. Alec's impeccable manners and charm would keep Mum off my back.

Once Mum headed back to the kitchen, Alec turned to me, eyes wide and eyebrows raised. I shrugged my shoulders. Mother was in dinner party mode. My punishment for my tardiness would only be delayed until Alec and Daniel had left.

***

I nudged the kitchen door open with my hip and tugged Alec into the room with me.

My father silently eyed us as we entered, his gaze dropping to our joined hands. Alec's grip only tightened as I tried to release my hold. His thumb brushed my knuckles, letting me know I wasn't alone.

Mum placed an extra plate and a set of cutlery onto the dinner table and motioned for us to sit down. With my dad at the head of the table, I faced Rosie. Alec settled down to my right, opposite Daniel, leaving my mother the last free seat at the end.

Daniel shot me a beaming smile and shook Alec's hand while my sister glared at us, her arms crossed over her chest.

Small filo pastry tarts with a pinky creamy mixture were placed in front of us. Subtly nearing my nose to take a sniff, I tried naming the dish without having to ask my mother.

Alec leant over to me and whispered into my ear, "salmon."

Fish! Great! I couldn't think of anything worse.

My father took a large bite of his food without acknowledging Alec.

"Frank! Have you offered them a drink?" my mum snapped through her clenched jaw, trying to keep her fake smile in place.

"Um, yep -" He swallowed the mouthful of salmon tart and placed his hand at the base of his neck. The sizable chunk must have slightly lodged in his throat. He let out a loud hacking cough and guzzled his beer back. "Beer, boys?"

"It's fish! Surely they would prefer white wine?" My mother had already uncorked the bottle and tilted the wine towards Alec's free glass, which he quickly placed his hand over.

"No thank you, Mrs Wilson. I'm driving."

"Daniel?" Mum walked over to his side.

"Oh yes, please." Rosie snapped her head round, her eyes squinted, nostrils flaring. Daniel noticing her anger mouthed a very weak, "what?"

My mother oblivious to their exchange filled Daniel's glass and took her seat.

"Unbelievable," my sister muttered, shaking her head.

Rosie was underage and my parents didn't think to offer me an alcoholic beverage, not that I would have accepted in their presence, so I nursed my water for the rest of the evening.

"Tuck in kids before your food gets cold." My mother took a dainty nibble of her starter and placed her fork back down on her plate. Everyone else followed suit. "So tell me Alec, how's university going? Your mother must be so proud of you. Another doctor in the family," she gushed.

"This is really lovely, Mrs Wilson. Cambridge is going well. It was only my first year, so we will see what the new school term brings." Alec glanced at my mother and smiled.

I meticulously cut my food up into tiny bite sizes and pushed them around my plate. I couldn't face placing a piece into my mouth, but after plucking up some courage, I took the smallest morsel I could manage. My nose involuntarily scrunched up as the salty warm sauce slid down my throat. My water suddenly very appealing, I took large gulps to stop myself from gagging from the fishiness of the dish.

Alec, who had clocked my uncouth behaviour, while everyone was concentrating on their own food, scooped a large forkful up off my plate and shoved it into his mouth.

Water spilt out the sides of my lips as I tried to stifle my laughter.

"Natasha, drink properly! We have guests," my mother chided. My sister looked up from her plate and rolled her eyes.

Taking Daniel's advice on board, I stopped myself from sticking my tongue out. If I wanted to win Rosie over, now wasn't the time for childish facial expressions. Even if it was what I longed to do.

After moving a few more pieces of my starter around, I placed my knife and fork side by side on my plate. "How's studying going, Rosie? Daniel told me you have your last exam on Monday. You must be so pleased it's nearly all over," I asked in the nicest voice I could muster.

Rosie shot Daniel another glare as he ran a hand over his face. What had I done this time? Alec grabbed my knee and gave it a gentle squeeze.

Without taking her eyes off Daniel, Rosie let out through gritted teeth, "I should be studying right now." If she continued clenching her jaw so tightly, she would end up with a very sore face by the time we finished dinner. "It's not nearly all over. I have to wait for my results, move my belongings up to Scotland and find housing near campus. I also have to start applying for work placements as they are not going to just fall into my lap. The list is endless!" she rambled on, her voice tight.

I was tired just listening to her. When was she going to relax and enjoy herself?

"Rosie got into the University of St Andrews. It's the top school for business management, and we couldn't be prouder of her. Isn't that right, Frank?" my mother boasted while placing our mains in front of us.

She served up lemon chicken piccata with linguine, her speciality. That must have been what we smelt when we first walked into the house. The lightly battered crust on the chicken contrasted with the buttery lemon sauce and green capers. Steam continued to escape from the dish into the air.

Eager to devour his dinner, my father scoffed his food down as soon as it hit his plate. "Mm-hmm, yep. Proud," he grumbled between mouthfuls.

I took my own bite of the buttery chicken and moaned in appreciation. The sauce had just the right balance of tanginess from the capers, sharpness from the lemon and sweetness from the caramelised coating on the tender meat.

"Wow, that's amazing. Well done, Rosie. Where are you heading to, Daniel?" Alec inquired.

"University of Dundee. Not as prestigious as Rosie's first choice, but I'm happy with it. And it's only a thirty-minute drive to St Andrews. Maybe we can find something halfway and have the best of both worlds," explained Daniel excitedly.

Alec and Daniel were now engrossed in a conversation about student resident halls and the best way to spend freshers' week. Having no experience with applying or attending University, I zoned out and returned to enjoying my food.

Once everyone finished eating, my mother brought out her renowned summer berries and cream trifle, which we demolished in utter silence.

My father stood from his chair, scrapping the legs against the tiled floor. He muttered something about watching the news and escaped to the lounge, leaving us to clear up after him.

Mum tried to shoo us out of the kitchen, justifying that it would go quicker if we didn't get in the way. Rosie and I knew better. If we left her to it, she would use it against us in the future, reminding us how we never helped her when she needed it.

With the five of us on a mission, the entire kitchen and dishes were spotless, leaving no trace of our feast.

***

After Dinner, Alec and I strolled out into the garden, over to our favourite garden swing seat. The evening was still young, the sun having yet to set. As per our usual habit, Alec was on the right side of the two-seater swing and I cuddled up to his side after draping a large teal, twill-weave throw over both of our legs.

Alec's left arm rested across the back on the seat as he played with the ends of my hair. My shoulders relaxed, my whole body finally feeling lighter and peaceful. I wanted to close my eyes and stay there for the remainder of the night. I had forgotten about Rosie, Sian's hidden boyfriend, and my argument with Hope. Hope and Alec. Alec and Hope. Maybe I hadn't forgotten that last part then.

His right hand was casually positioned on his lap, over the blanket. I placed mine on his and traced each of his knuckles before running a finger down each of his own fingers to then trace over his fingernails. Alec's hand in my hair stilled, his heartbeat picking up under my head, resting on his chest.

Hope and Alec. I couldn't get the thought out of my brain. The silence in the garden was only making everything louder in my head. I wanted to pry, to find out how close they had gotten.

Mustering up enough courage to hear the words out loud, I sat up to study his face while I spoke them. He glanced up from where my hand had been to stare into my eyes. They crinkled at the edges as his beautiful face broke into a captivating smile. What had I wanted to ask him? I scooted closer and raised my hand out to touch his face.

Before I had the urge to place my palm gently on his cheek, I stuck a finger into his prominent dimple and twisted it round. "You know, dimples are actually a malformation in the cheek muscle. Meaning they're cute little imperfections."

"What?" Alec giggled and shook his head. "You can be so weird sometimes."

"Just sometimes? I'll take it!" Losing all courage, I settled back into his side and gazed to the now setting sun.

The few clouds in the sky picked up the last golden rays. The blue canvas deepened gradually to a pomegranate pink then to a mauve while rich hues of red blended with orange disappear behind the trees.

"Nat, can I talk to you about something. Promise not to get upset though," he whispered in his deep melodic tone.

The absence of the sun cooled the air, and I buried myself under the throw some more.

"Mm." 'Please don't be about Hope, please don't be about Hope,' l internally pleaded.

"Max, is something going on there-, again?" His voice cracked.

He wanted to talk about Max. I froze. I wasn't prepared for this.

"Um, I-, why?" Bile moved up my throat.

"I saw him talking to you at the football pitch. Noticed he asked you to call him?" Alec kept his voice low, struggling to get the words out.

My heart thumped. Don't ruin tonight, Alec.

"I might have seen him the other night," I muttered, squeezing my eyes shut.

"Right? And? Anything else happen?" His hand gripped the throw and he tensed up.

It was going to come out at some stage, so I ripped the bandaid off. "Well, we might have shared a kiss. But that was it. I left quickly afterwards."

Alec sighed and pushed himself up straight, making me fall back and peer up at him. "Please don't call him again," he begged, his words barely audible. "He's using you."

"How do you know? Maybe this time won't be like last time. Maybe-"

"Are you blind? He's using you! How often do you see him? Ever notice it's always the same day of the week? Then you don't hear from him? That's cos you're not the only girl on his rotation. A girl for every day of the week. That's Max! What do you think he talks about when it's just the lads?" Alec ranted, his fists clenched. His face flushed, a vein in his neck jutted out.

"That's not true. He has called me and sent messages" I thought back to the days I had seen him, Thursdays and Sundays. Were they the only two days of the week? I had seen him this morning, but he wasn't expecting it. He had only called me once outside of those days, but I never saw him. But that was my choice, and I didn't want Alec to be right.

"Listen Nattie, I care about you. So much. I don't want you to get hurt. Please, just trust me." He gripped my shoulders, his voice returning to his usual husky tone.

"I know but he said he made a mistake and was sorry. He's gone through a lot with his mum leaving. Everyone deserves a second chance. Look, tomorrow is Sunday. If he rings me, then I'll ask him about it." I placed my hands on his cheeks to reassure him, my thumbs smoothing the skin underneath them.

"You're too nice and forgiving for your own good. I love that you always see the good in people, but hate seeing you get used because of it. Don't say I didn't warn you." Alec stood up, pulling away from me, and pinched the bridge of his nose. His eyes lowered to the ground. "I need to go. Finn asked me to pick him up."

"With Hope?" My chest tightened and fear clawed through me.

He nodded, sadness clouding his features. "And Abigail."

Knowing his excuse to leave was a lie, I let him go without another word. He hadn't glimpsed at his phone once in the time we were together. How did he know Finn wanted a lift?

Wrapping the blanket around my body, I stayed outside until the sky fell under a veil of pure black ink. As my eyes adjusted to the darkness, more and more speckles of starlight appeared until they illuminated my surroundings. Once again, I found myself alone. My only companion being the occasional hoots of a hidden owl in the nearby trees. All alone and numb.

***