28. Ripped jeans

"Alec, move a little. My arm's dead from your lumpy body," I groaned as I tried to roll him off my numb limb.

His hot face pressed against my bare chest and his hair tickled my chin. Small snores escaped his mouth. "Alec, wake up." He stirred, but instead of releasing his hold on me, he clutched on tighter.

"I'm not lumpy," he mumbled into my skin. Oh, so he had heard me. He shuffled around enough so I could move my trapped arm from beneath his shoulder and returned to his sleeping position. "You weren't complaining when this body was on top of you last night and again this morning. If I remember correctly, you actually said-"

Placing my hand over his mouth, I stopped his sentence, too embarrassed to hear them once more.

"Shut it or I'll never do that again with you."

"Oh, is that so?" He lifted his head from between my cleavage, leaving a bright red earmark on my skin, and wiggled his eyebrows. "Lies coming from someone who was begging for more," he laughed. I grabbed the pillow from Alec's side and thrashed it over his face.

Alec laced his arms around my waist and placed hot, fast kisses down my neck and across my collarbones, making me wriggle and laugh as his fingers tickled my skin. "You're a little shit, Alec Hart. A gorgeous little shit," I giggled as he assaulted my chest.

Alec slowed the pace of his kisses as his tickles turned into strokes, my giggles into whimpers.

He hovered above me and pushed the strands of my wild hair out of my face. His captivating gaze held mine and even after everything that had happened between us, I couldn't breathe. "I love you," he confessed.

My vision blurred as I stared at Alec. Air, I needed air. My mind blanked, I couldn't think straight. It was all too soon. I wasn't ready.

"Nattie, I love you. Have done for years," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

"I-," Tears streamed down my face. "I-." Was I happy, stunned or petrified? I couldn't tell. No one had uttered those words, at least not for me. Sure, I knew Alec loved me as his friend, but this was new territory. I was scared. Scared I would mess this up somehow.

Alec wiped the falling tears away with the pad of his thumb and placed soft kisses to the same spot. "It's okay, Nattie. I don't want to scare you," he said as if reading my mind.

I let out a shaky sigh. "You know I love you-"

"But?"

"No buts. You have been my best friend for over fourteen years. Of course, I love you." I cast my eyes down.

Alec tilted my chin up with his finger so I had no choice but to look up at him. "I know you better than anyone. That sounds like a definite but."

"This is all so new to me and I'm ruining it," I sighed, shielding my face with my hands. Here I had this perfect man in love with me and I couldn't find the words to say it back. This wasn't how I imagined I would react.

Alec kissed my knuckles and pried them away. "No, take your time."

I took a deep breath in. "It's just that you've had these feelings for a while and I'm just finding out about them. I don't want to say it and you think it's just as my friend or to say it because you said it." My voice broke as nerves caused my stomach to flip. "I want to say it and mean it because you're the most important person in my life. I'd be lost without you."

I really would be lost without him. Alec was the only person I wanted to spend every waking moment with, and that frightened the hell out of me. I watched my mother give up everything for a man and look where that left her; with a life she probably regretted and new dreams thrown back in her face.

But Alec was not like my father, and I was not like my mother.

"That's all I want to hear. The 'I love you' part can wait. As long as I have you. That's all that matters. I don't want to rush you," Alec murmured against my skin.

***

With no shifts at work today, Alec and I spent most of the morning in his bed. He might not have uttered those three little words again, but it was clear they still lingered in the air with each touch and kiss.

All I hoped was that he was patient enough to wait as I fought an internal battle with my emotions.

Alec propped himself up against the headboard as my limbs tangled with his and my head rested on his chest. "You going to be okay later when you go home?" he asked, threading his fingers through my hair. He worked them through the strands, untangling each knot.

I buried my face deeper into his chest and inhaled. "Do I have a choice? I have to do it. She won't come to me. Alec, it's been a week of radio silence."

Alec sighed and pulled me in closer. "You have a choice. You're just a good person and want to fix it. Let me come with you this time."

I peered up into his eyes and cupped his cheek. "Don't think that will go down well. But stay outside for me? If it goes bad, I can come straight out to you."

Alec nodded and placed featherlight kisses to the bridge of my nose. "As much as I love having you naked in my bed, we better get some clothes on and grab some food. I'm starving."

"Food can wait. You're too comfy. Better yet, order some in to deliver to this bed." I stretched my arms out and rolled onto the mattress.

Alec climbed out of bed, not a stitch of clothing on his perfectly gorgeous body, and strolled to the bathroom. "Seriously, lazy bones, up. I'm having a shower and then we're eating. Store up some energy for later." He spun around, walking backwards and winked before stepping into the shower.

I flipped the duvet cover over my head and laughed. Oh, he was something else. Unlike last time though, I wasn't missing this opportunity. I threw the covers to the side and hurried after him, locking the door in case we had visitors.

An hour later, we were dressed and ready to have food. Alec laced an arm around my waist and whispered crude jokes into my ear as we walked into the farmhouse's kitchen. Both oblivious to Finn sat at the breakfast bar, we held on to each other, laughing and kissing.

"Ah, so that's why you weren't answering your phone. What gives, man? I thought we could hang out today?" He placed both his hands on the counter and pushed himself up, his phone face up on the side.

I struggled not to scoff at his comment. Before my conversation with Chloe, I had nothing against him. I barely knew him, so had no opinion about the guy. Since the camping trip, however, he gave off a sleazy vibe. His voice alone made my skin crawl.

"You can talk. Abigail busy today?" Alec chuckled and strolled over to the fridge. "Oh, there is leftover roast chicken. Fancy a chicken wrap, Nattie?"

I nodded when he faced me with the bowl of leftovers in hand.

"Abby's spending the day with Hope. Spa day." Finn walked away from his phone to pick at the chicken while Alec made up the wraps.

I leant on the counter, half-listening to the boys, my eyes on the discarded device. I wondered what I would find if I had time to look through it. Finn's phone flashed with an incoming message on the lock screen: [Upstairs. Home alone.]- Chloe H

I shook my head and made my excuses to leave so I could get to her before Finn read his messages. I crept upstairs and gently tapped on Chloe's bedroom door. When she called out to come in, I squeezed my eyes shut briefly and prayed my instincts were wrong.

The door creaked as I pushed it open. My heart sank as I caught Chloe laying across her bed in nothing but her underwear.

She scrambled off her bed and dragged the bedsheet with her, wrapping it over her half-naked body. "WHAT THE FU-"

"Shh, Alec's downstairs," I whisper-yelled as I closed the door. "What are you doing, Chloe?"

"Nothing. What are you doing in my room?" She clutched the sheet closer to herself and feigned innocence.

I wandered further into her room, crossing my arms and perched on the end of her bed. "You thought you would be alone with Finn. I saw your message. What were you thinking? Did you forget he's just using you? He has a girlfriend."

Chloe grabbed her discarded clothes from the floor and marched behind her privacy screen. "I know," she huffed. "Don't lecture me. I'm not in the mood. Maybe I'm using him-," dressed, Chloe sat down next to me- "for a release."

"I don't buy it. You were too upset the other day." I clasped her hand in mine and lowered my voice, fearing Alec might come to find me. "Don't do something stupid, Chloe. I mean it. Speak to Alec about it, so he kicks Finlay out of your house. He shouldn't be staying here and playing you."

She closed her eyes and blew out a shaky breath, close to tears. "I know all this. I can't stop it. I don't want to stop it."

Wrapping my arms around her, I rubbed her back while she struggled to stop her tears from falling. "Do you want me to tell Alec while you go out with some friends?"

She shook her head as it rested over my shoulder. "No, I'll do it."

"Babe, did you get lost? Lunch is ready," Alec called up the stairs.

Chloe screwed her face up as I stood. "Babe?"

I raised my shoulders and laughed. "Don't ask me. That's a new one. It better not stick."

I stepped out of Chloe's room and shouted down to Alec that I would be down in a minute. Before leaving, I popped my head through the gap to her room. "Tell him soon. I hate keeping secrets from him."

Chloe must have texted Finn when I left her room. As I made my way back to Alec, he furiously typed on his phone, cursed under his breath and told us he forgot he already had plans.

Alec cocked his brow when he stormed off, then shrugged. I wondered how long it would take Alec to realise Finn didn't know anyone in the area besides Abigail and the Harts. Ignoring the tug on my heart to tell him Chloe's secret, I grabbed our plates and headed for the sitting room to have lunch.

***

With nothing left to distract me from facing my mother, Alec parked up outside my house. I sunk down in my seat and picked at the ripped holes above my knee, on my jeans. My chicken wrap threatened to make a reappearance the longer we sat there.

Alec turned and placed his hand over mine to stop the picking. "I'm right here. Keep your phone in your hand with my number up. At the first ring, I'm there," he soothed, running a thumb over my knuckle.

Glancing up, I nodded and grabbed my phone out of the centre console of the car. Before leaving, Alec laced his fingers through mine and kissed the same spot his thumb had just skimmed.

My heart hammered in my chest as I trudged up the steps to the house and froze in front of the doorway.

I peered over my shoulder for reassurance from Alec, who stepped out of the car and mouthed if he should come with me. Shaking my head, I held my breath, rapped my knuckles against the door and waited.

Somebody shuffled around in the hallway. My nails were digging into the skin on my palms, the pain oddly comforting.

My mother cautiously popped her head through the gap in the door as she opened it. When her gaze landed on me, she stepped to the side and motioned to come in. I tucked my shoes away and followed her into the lounge.

She huddled up against the armrest of the sofa as I took a seat in my father's armchair, giving her a once over as I leant back. Her usually soft features were harsher, her hair and skin dull, and her eyes had lost their sparkle. My mother had aged over the last week.

Wringing her hands in her lap and biting the side of her mouth, she had yet to speak.

On Alec's instructions, my phone was open, his name visible on the top of my call list. I traced the edges on the screen, repeating to myself that this wasn't my fault.

After a few dragged out minutes of awkward silence, my mother spoke. "Rosie's University looks nice."

"That's nice. I bet that's one less worry for her." Casting my eyes to the floor, I gritted my teeth. This would be harder than I thought. I hoped she would bring the night she kicked me out of the house up. She didn't even have to say sorry, just acknowledging it was enough.

"Daniel liked his as well. They will be happy there."

I tucked my phone against my thigh on the seat and snapped, "Mum, we can't pretend last Sunday never happened."

"I'm not pretending. It's not easy, Natasha."

"It's not easy for me either. You kicked me out when all I wanted to do was defend you. I was on your side."

"Do we have to go over this? Rosie has already pointed out where I went wrong. You must hate me?" Her voice cracked on her last words. She ran her hands down her legs, ironing out the invisible creases in her trousers.

Walking over, I settled on the end of the sofa next to my mum. "I don't hate you. I need to talk about it. Please Mum. We can't keep burying our feelings."

"Oh, Natasha, I'm so sorry." She burst out crying. Stunned, I stilled. I rarely saw my mother lose her composure. Once I realised what was happening, I wrapped my arms around her.

"It's okay, Mum. We'll be okay." I held her while she finally let go of everything she was holding in.

"Your dad left. I mean, I asked him to leave for a little while. He's staying at Uncle Mike's until he accepts a few changes." She leant over to the side table and grabbed a packet of tissues to wipe her nose. "First thing, you're coming home. Then, we can find you a job so he can't complain about that part."

"Actually, I've already got one. I work at The Tea Spot now," I proudly admitted.

"That's wonderful news. Okay, well next, how about a cup of tea? We can go from there. I can tell you about this course I'm on and you can tell me what you did with the Harts this week."

"I'd like that. Talking about the Harts, can Alec come in? He's waiting for me outside."

"Of course. Let me pop to my room and hide these puffy eyes before you do, though."

My mum disappeared upstairs, leaving me alone. My gaze scanned the mantel and landed on a photo of my family. Rosie and I were coming to the end of primary school and hated each other when it was taken. We stood there, arms linked, my father's hand on my shoulder, my mother lovingly leaning against him. Our perfect smiles concealing any trace of the argument that had taken place that morning.

Picking up the frame, I stared at the two little girls smiling back at me and promised them they would never hate each other like that again.

***

Hello lovely readers,

Have you ever loved someone

and never told them when they declared their love?

It took me weeks to tell my husband I loved him

when he first said the words.

To this day, he is adamant I moved country

to live with him before I said them.

Somehow, I don't believe him. ❤️

If you liked this chapter, you can click on

the little star and cast a vote.

They are always appreciated.

Happy reading,

Clara ❤️