Chapter 44: I flopping do love you!

Kadin pulls me into him further and kisses me harder.

I freeze, unsure what to do. That was very unexpected. Kadin doesn't stop kissing me.

Alex said to do something reckless. Maybe I should. He'll never like me, maybe Kadin could help me get over him. Sounds like a good idea to me.

I wrap my arms around Kadin's neck and thread my hands into his hair, which strangely feels like Alex's. He starts kissing me with more force and so I kiss him back. Is this what kissing Alex would feel like? Shut up, Natalie, that's never going to happen. Like ever.

Kadin pulls his arms around me further so that his hands touch his opposite elbows.  The kiss feels kinda natural definitely better than my kisses with Noah. We make out for a few more minutes before someone grabs my arm and pulls me away from Kadin.

"Nat... what are you doing?" Alex asks.

"Well, sorry but you were ignoring me five minutes ago, I didn't think you'd care," I cross my arms. Kadin grins at me.

Alex tightens his hold on me and drags me over to another table. I cross my arms over my chest again.

"What the hell, Nat?" he whisper-yells, tugging at his hair and making him look incredibly sexy.

"What the hell what, Alex?" I ask.

"You can't just... You can't just... Kiss other guys!" he says, puffing hard with rage.

"Why not?" I cock out my hip and raise an eyebrow.

"Because they don't deserve you!" he says. I frown at him.

"What?"

He steps closer to me and leans his forehead against mine. "You're too good for anyone else," he whispers.

"Oh, and you're good enough for me? Stop playing your stupid games, Alex, they're not working," I shove him off me and walk as fast as I can over to Kadin.

"Hey, Baby," he says. I fake-smile at him and quickly turn down another path, calling a taxi. They're flowing freely now.

I hop in a taxi and ask the cabi to drive me to the hotel. He drops me off out the front and I walk up the stairs, not bothering to take the lift. When I get to the apartment, I unlock it and step inside. I walk into the bedroom, placing my keys and purse on the bedside table. I lie down on the bed and whack my face with a pillow.

I am total, completely head over heels in love with Alex Collins. Even when I was kissing Kadin, I was comparing him to Alex. I can't get him out of my head. I'll spend one last time with him before I'll move on and finally take Amanda's advice. There's no use being around him longing for something he can't give me.

I stop whacking my face with the pillow and bury my head in it. I walk into the bathroom and take out my hair, clipping the braid around the back of my head with the same hair accessory. I lie back down on the bed and look up at the ceiling, slowly falling asleep.

***

I'm awakened by the sound of the door opening and closing. I keep my eyes closed, hopefully thinking that he'll assume I'm dead or asleep. He comes into the room and shuts the door. I try and look peaceful. He sighs and drops down on the bed.

I feel him lie down beside me for a minute or two before he softly picks up a strand of loose hair and curls is behind my ear. I open my eyes.

"I'm sorry," I say. He shakes his head.

"It's not your fault. You've got nothing to be sorry for," he says.

I sit up and settle against the wall. "But... I kissed him."

"Well... yeah there's nothing wrong with that," he says, but his jaw clenches. I nod and get up, checking the time.

"We better get ready," I say, heading into the bathroom. I took my old dress to the wedding, so I slip it on. The zip doesn't reach the top, my hand are too far away. I put on my high heels and walk out the door. Alex is trying to do his hair again. I smile and walk over to him, his styling isn't working, so he stops altogether.

"Can you, uh," I motion for him to zip my dress up. He nods and I turn around, pulling my hair to the side. He zips it up and I turn around. He sees the love heart necklace and picks it up off my bare skin.

"You wear this?" he asks.

"Yeah," I say, looking up at him. "Every day."

He looks at me for a moment before dropping the necklace and wrapping his arm around my waist.

"Let's go, Dude," he says, grabbing the keys. Damn, well now he's back normal. Just the way it should be.

***

We arrive at the restaurant and take out seats next to Alex's aunt and uncle.  The bride and groom arrive five minutes after we do and the dinner starts. Alex orders us burgers and I happily agree with his decision.

We talk for a little while about the musical before our food comes. Alex starts eating his burger and says to me, "This burger is as tasty as you."

I laugh at him. "Where'd you get that from?"

"My head," he says, eating a chip.

"Ew, Alex," I say, shoving his head back. He flicks my arm. I flick his leg. He flicks my shoulder. I flick his knee. He flicks my stomach and I squirm. "Stop!"

He grins and bites into his burger. I bit of tomato sauce falls onto his white shirt. I laugh. "I'll go and get you some napkins."

I take the napkins and walk back to him. I sit down and pinch a bit of his shirt and pull it towards me, wiping the red off. There's still a stain on it so I dip in my water and wipe it up.

"It's cold!" he says. I roll my eyes and chuck the napkin in a bin near us.

"Shut up and stop being a baby," I say, straightening his tie so that the stain doesn't show.

He smiles at eats another chip. I finish my drink and instantly have the urge to pee.

"I gotta go to the bathroom," I say, standing up and walking off in the direction of what I assume is the bathroom.

Kadin corners me as I'm coming out.

"Hey, babe, wanna finish what we started?" he asks.

"Um.. no than-" I start, but he's already pushed me up against a wall and started planting kisses down my neck. I try and push him off me, starting to feel claustrophobic. The feeling is all too familiar to the one two weeks ago. I try and shove him off me while he plants a long kiss on my lips. I hear a chair scraping and footsteps coming up to us.

Kadin is yanked off me and Alex comes to stand in between us, looking down at me.

"Are you ok?" he asks, concern evident on his features. I nod.

"Calm down, Alex, we're just fooling around," he says, winking at me. He tries to grab my waist but Alex pulls back his hand, his fist curling into a ball and swings it at Kadin with so much force that he goes stumbling backwards. Alex starts to walk forwards, towards Kadin, but I grab his tie and pull him back towards me.

"Don't do anything," I say sternly. He looks at me for a little while before nodding. I let go of his tie and walk over to Kadin. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah, yeah, my cousin's a douche," he says, rubbing his face, which is pink and already starting to bruise.

"I'll go and get you some ice," I say, walking over to the counter and asking for some in French. They hand me a bag and I take it. I hold it onto his face and Alex comes to stand beside me, wrapping an arm around my waist. I turn and look at him. He's straight up glaring at Kadin, who's looking at me. I shove his chest with my hand that's not holding the ice. Kadin starts to pull up his hand to hold the ice but I gesture to say its ok.

"Its fine," I say and his hand drops.

"Actually, he can hold it, let's go, Nat," he says, pulling me by the waist. I push him off me.

"No! I'm staying here with Kadin," I say. He glares at me.

"If you want, you can come home with me after this?" Kadin says, looking at me with the eye that's free from the ice. I wince at him and Alex starts to advance. I pull him back by the back of his jacket.

"Alex," I warn. He sighs and wraps an arm around my bare shoulders, still glaring at Kadin. "Sorry, but I'm with Alex."

Alex freezes beside me. "You two are together? Oh, sorry... I didn't know," Kadin says.

"Oh, no," I say. "I mean I'm just going home with him."

"Oh," Kadin nods and places a hand over mine on the ice pack. Alex squeezes me even more protectively and I slide my hand out from under Kadin's and grab Alex's, pulling him over to the corner.

"Go apologize!" I say.

"He was the one trying to make out with you! He should be apologizing!" he says angrily.

"You bloody well whacked him in the face, Alex! Say sorry!" I whisper-yell at him.

"No! You don't deserve that, he has to apologize to you!" he says.

"Deserve what?" I ask, crossing my arms.

"Someone taking advantage of you! Not after what happened! You need someone who'd treat you right, someone who wouldn't try and kiss you at every waking moment like Kadin. Someone who loves you! Kadin doesn't! And you should only kiss someone you love!" he says.

"Oh, so I should kiss you?" I ask. He falls silent and stares at me. Oh, my God, what the hell did I just say? Know he freaking knows I'm in love with him. He looks at me for a few more seconds and I blush, which hopefully cannot be seen underneath all the makeup.

"No. You shouldn't kiss me. You don't love me, and I'd want to kiss you every moment of every day," he says softly. I stare at him. I flopping do love you! I want to say that to him, so bad. But its Alex, its obviously some kind of sick game he likes to play and I won't give in to it. If Amanda found out that I had kissed him - which I really want to do - she'd kill me. So I walk backwards, away from him.

"No you wouldn't, we're just friends," I say. He walks after me.

"Yeah," he laughs awkwardly. "Sorry, I didn't mean that."

People are starting to get up and dance, and so Alex takes my hand and pulls me out into the sea of people.

He places a hand on my waist and puts the other in mine. I put mine on his shoulder and we start to sway. On my high heels, I'm almost as tall as him.

"You smell good," he randomly says and I laugh.

"Like berries?" I ask.

"Like berries," he confirms. I put my head on top of my hand on his shoulder and close my eyes. The music starts and I look up to see FREAKING ED SHEERAN standing there. Oh my God.

"Oh my God," I repeat my thought in a whisper. Alex laughs.

"Loving can hurt, loving can hurt sometimes, But it's the only thing that I know," he sings and I basically jump. Alex laughs and pulls me closer. "When it gets hard, you know it can get hard sometimes, It is the only thing makes us feel alive."

"We keep this love in a photograph, We made these memories for ourselves, Where our eyes are never closing," he continues. Woah. He's wearing his circular glasses and a tux.

"So you can keep me, Inside the pocket of your ripped jeans, Holding me closer 'til our eyes meet," he sings. Alex lets go of my hand and I wrap my own around his neck.

He coughs a little and looks into my eyes. "I lo-"

"So you must be Natalie!" someone says. I turn around and see the bride, in a smaller red dress standing there.

"Yeah, Alex's... friend," I say. She smiles at me and pulls me into a warm hug.

"I've heard a lot about you," she says.

"Really?" I grin and turn around to look at Alex. He's looking at his shoe, stubbing it against the floor.

"Yup. Alex must really love you. Honestly, I swear all we hear is 'I met this beautiful-" she's cut off by Alex.

"Beth, we're not together," he says. Beth frowns.

"But you have a girlfriend, you told Jace and I!" she says, pouting.

Alex rolls his eyes. "Yeah, that's Amanda."

"But I swear you were talking about Natalie when you said you loved-" she starts but Alex cuts her off.

"Yeah... Amanda," he says. Of course, he lied when I asked, it's him. The sweet kid that obviously doesn't love the annoying girl.

I look back at Beth.

"Well, I think he should break up with 'er," she says. "You obviously have better looks."

I laugh awkwardly. "Thanks for the stuff."

"Oh, no problem hun," she says, waving a hand dismissively. "I thought Alex's friend could use some presents from her future cousin in law. Anyway, see ya!"

She leaves, walking off to talk to more guests. I turn back to Alex.

"Don't mind Beth," he says as I put my hands back around his neck. "She's always blabbing. Been that way since we were children," he rolls his eyes and I laugh.

"What were you saying before?" I ask.

He shakes his head and looks down at the ground again. "Nothing."

I shrug. "Ok then," I say, burying my face in his neck.

***

"I met ED SHEERAN!" I yell.

"Calm down, Nat," Alex says, bending down over the side of the bed and taking off his shoes.

"He was so chill!" I say. "And oh, my, God he actually said that I should do music at Oxford!"

"Ok ok, now go have a shower, crazy lady," he says and starts undoing his tie.

"Alright," I say, grabbing my clothes and towel. "Bye."

He chuckles. "Bye."

I hop into the ensuite and close the door and lock it behind me. I take out my braid and earrings, shoes, necklace and bracelet and lay them on the vanity sink. I take a cloth and wipe my face, the makeup transferring onto the fabric.

I try and unzip my zip a couple of hundred times, but I can't reach it. I sigh. This is going to be so embarrassing. "Hey, Alex?" I ask, opening the door. He looks up from his phone. "Can you... um... unzip my dress?"

He opens his mouth to say something but chokes and coughs, so he just nods and gets up. I turn around and he unzips it.

"Thanks," I say. He nods and walks out of the bathroom. I shut the door. That was weird. I hop into the shower and wash before getting into my pyjamas and coming out of the bathroom. Alex grabs his clothes and walks into where I just came from.

I lie down on the bed and pull up the covers. Alex lies down beside me ten minutes later after turning off the lights and locking the doors. He wraps his arms around me and I snuggle into him.

I realise he has no shirt on and recoil. He laughs and wraps his arms around my neck, laying his chin atop my head. I wrap my arms around his bare torso. I better be with him while I can. Because on Monday I know I won't be speaking to him.

***

"You met Ed Sheeran?" Bubbles screeches. I nod my head excitedly.

"He was really cool!" I say. Bubbles laughs and we walk to my locker.

"And so... his hair was really orange?" she asks.

"Like, really orange," I say, nodding. She smiles.

"And did you and Alex do anything?" she asks with a wicked smile. I take a while to figure out what she means.

"Ew, no you gross person!" I say, shoving her shoulder a bit. She giggles as we reach my locker. I take out my books and put them in my bag, sliding my phone in as it erupts with an Instagram message. I ignore it and put the phone face down in my locker. Someone slides an arm around my waist.

I look over at Alex then back down at my books. Get away from me, Alex.

"Hey, Dude," he says, pulling me into him further. I reluctantly let myself fall into him, but then I righten myself and pretend he's not there. "What's wrong?" he pouts. I give him a tight smile and shut my locker. He frowns.

Bubbles looks at me with concern and I ignore her. We walk over to her locker and I try and walk away from Alex but he won't let go. While Bubbles does her locker stuff, Alex says, "Nat, what's wrong?"

I take a deep breath and face him, his hand drops from his waist. "Alex... I'm sorry. I just... don't really think I can stand being around you. You're way too cocky and arrogant and, quite frankly, I don't actually like you," I say the big fat lie with ease. "I really don't want to be around you anymore. Your girlfriend sucks just as bad as y-"

"Woah," Alex cuts me off. Damn this is going to be impossible. "Where's all this coming from?"

"The bottom of my heart," I say sarcastically.

"What? Nat, come one, please? I don't understand what I did!" he says.

"You completely, totally ruined my life!" I yell at him. He sort of has. If he never ever bumped into me I'd be fine. I wouldn't be pining over someone silently because I know they won't want me. But I am. "I hate you!"

"Really?" his eyes turn stormy. "This again? You just wanna keep bringing back the same old thing?"

"Yeah, I do," I say. A few people have stopped talking to listen. "Please leave me alone."

"Sure!" he starts backing away, raising his hands in surrender. "I will."

He turns on his foot and walks away. I turn back to Bubbles and ignore the people watching me. Bubbles slams her locker door shut.

"What the hell?" she says, glaring at me. "Where'd that come from?"

"I just needed to get it out, you know? He's been annoying me lately and I haven't been able to shake him," I lie and Bubbles pouts at me. I feel eyes watching me and I turn around. Amanda slips into a classroom with a sly grin on her face.

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