Chapter 54: Maybe He Only Likes Potatoes Because He Looks Like One

A/N: People! I actually uploaded a YouTube video of the song Alex sings to Nat. I wrote it myself and my amazing, magical, legendary, talented, awesome, phenomenal and fantastic friend wrote it. She's Gucci guys. AND SHE THINKS HER VOICE IS BAD. people! She reads this book. comment on what you think of her AMAZING voice! The song legit has no rhythm and I wrote it at 9 o'clock at night. I got a D+ in music twice, so don't expect it to be Billie Eilish amazing. But ma friend came up with a tune and sang it. THANK YOU YOU AMAZING AND BLOODY LEGEND.

(listen to the recording (the banner))

I quickly run out of the restaurant, Alex's voice carries all the way. I wipe my tears away feverishly with my jacket sleeve. Maybe I'll come back later, but for now, I'm out of that place.

My phone buzzes with a text from Meghan.

You ok hun?

Rosie said you don't have to come back. She said to take a break and return your uniform on your next shift.

Hope you're all good, sis.

I smile through my tears and stuff my phone in my pocket. I unlock my car and hop in. The air con starts when I push my key in and pull out of the car park. I drive along the street until I reach another road. I turn down it and make my way home.

***

When I get home I collapse onto my bed. I kick off my shoes and pull up my covers.

I'm woken a few hours later by my phone buzzing. I groan and pick it up. It's a text from Bubbles.

Get on Instagram, boo!

What?

CHECK IT MATE!

Ok.

GOOOOOOD!

I swipe up to go home and click on my Instagram app. I scroll through my feed and check my follow requests. And my messages. Nothing stands out.

I text Bubbles.

What is on there?

Go to Alex's profile.

I can't. I un-followed him.

butt.

I'll send it to you. EMAILS.

K

I shut off my phone and walk over to my desk, with my MacBook open on it. I log on and click on my Gmail button.

I wait patiently for a new email. A few minutes later I hear a ding and an email pops up from Bubbles. I click on it. A video file is uploaded. The message has no subject or text, so I click on the attachment. I hear Alex's voice from behind a camera and see my face on the screen. I'm smiling through my hands, which are blocking my face from the camera. I'm wearing my swimsuit and the waves are crashing behind us. I laugh when he says: "Stop!  You're way too gorgeous to hide your face," and I push my hand onto the camera. Guitar music stars playing over the top of the video until it finally stops. It moves onto another video of me climbing the rock and he laughs in the background. I place my hands on my cheeks and my elbows on the desk, eyes welling up with tears.

"You don't see me the way I see you," I hear Alex's voice and my tears spill over. There's a video of me throwing my head back and laughing before the image fades away.

"You don't care about me the way I care 'bout you," he sings, a melody he's strumming on his guitar. A tear drips onto my desk as I watch him take a photo of me standing by the ocean, looking over my shoulder and smiling at him. "That much is true."

"And I've been thinking back to all those times your mother dropped you off at mine," he sings. I stare at the video of me being sassy while I clean up his fishing wound. "And I know, oh, I know you don't feel the same, But I wanted you to know..."

The video fades until there's a video of me sleeping soundly. His hand brushes a lock over hair behind my ear. A sob escapes my lips and I clamp a hand over my mouth, muffling the sounds. "That I'm sorry, Darlin' I'm so sorry."

There's a photo Michelle took of Liam, Alex and I, his arm is wrapped around my waist, the other holding the baby. "I couldn't be the man you wanted me to be, I'm sorry I let you walk away from me."

"And I'm sorry for the times I spent pining silently over you in my room," he sings. I bite down on my lip and silently shake when the image changes to one from his go pro when I splashed him with water. "I'm so sorry for telling you those. Three. Words. That never shoulda slipped out of my mouth. And I'm sorry I can't sleep without you here with me. I'm sorry for the pain that you caused me. And I'm sorry for the lies. I'm so sorry."

I let out another loud sob and bend over my desk, crying. I don't see the next video because one of my hands is pressed to my chest, the other held over my mouth. I am totally and completely breaking down. "Walking past you in the hallways, Ignoring the awkward stares, The way other girls act around me just cannot compare, To you demeanour, oh, I'm sorry."

What the hell does he mean, he's sorry? It's not his fault! "And those times we spent laughing in the front of my truck, Singin' hey there Delilah like we couldn't give two f***s. Then we did, And I wanted you to know..."

"That I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he continues. I look back up at the screen and see a picture of us that either Michelle or Jackson took from a long way off. "I couldn't be the man you wanted me to be. I couldn't be your lighthouse light out on the sea."

"And I'm sorry for the pain I caused myself," he sings. The music keeps playing and more tears rush down my face. The image changes from a selfie of us to a video of me running along the beach. "The stupid mistakes we made and the punches I threw. In your name. Oh, your name, Because I thought you felt the same."

"Three stupid words that slipped of my mouth I should've stopped. To stop the pain," he sings. I let out another sob. Another text comes through from Bubbles but I ignore it.  "And I just wanted to say, that I'm sorry, Oh, so sorry."

"And the only time I tried, I didn't make it out alive, You left me weakened in the knees Like you didn't give a crap," he sings. I definitely did. "And I know you didn't want me to do it, And I'm sorry."

There's a video of me playing with my locket and trying to block myself from the camera. He says something and I laugh. Another sob escapes my lips and I go down in silent trembles.

"But I couldn't help myself, And I just wanted to say that I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he sings and I sob even more hysterically.

"That I'm not happy anymore, That your drink is spilt on the floor, That I couldn't be the man you wanted me to be, And that I wrote this song just to plead... With you, And with your words. Because this was all a joke," he continues and I cry when I see the image of him tickling me, my head is thrown back in laughter.

"And I'm sorry I'm blaming my heartbreak On you, And I'm sorry I still love you, I'm sorry, Oh, So sorry," he finishes and the video shuts out. I slam my laptop shut and bury my head in my arm on the desk, sobs leaving my mouth in an instant, tears dripping from my eyes.

"I love you too."

***

Alex POV:

"FELECIA!" I yell down the hall. Her lamp light flicks off and she opens her door and walks out with a smug smirk on her face.

"What the actual hell, Felecia?" I yell, tugging at my hair and pacing after I've closed the door behind her.

"I'm sorry. But she might talk to you about it!" she says, plopping down on my desk chair and spinning around.

"No! She's not going to! Don't you understand, sis, that you made this whole situation worse?" I whisper fiercely at her.

"I think she might," she says, matter-of-factly.

I pull on my hair so badly it hurts. "Felecia! She's probably in there texting her friends about how bloody strange I am! You're such an idiot!"

"Nuh-uh," she says. "I can tell you she's probably balling her eyes out because she loves you back. You've got to know that."

"She's doesn't! You're so annoying Felecia! Don't you think that that stuff's private? Don't go around posting your brother's things on your internet, Ok?" I say, stopping my pacing and staring at her exaggeratedly.

"She doesn't even follow you. Chill," Felecia says, shrugging her shoulders.

"She doesn't..... follow me?" I ask, slumping down on the bed.

"Oh, calm down, bro. I'm going to see Farren now and you already have ten K followers. One less is not going to count," she says, getting up and walking to the door. She waves goodbye and shuts it behind her.

"But she's the only one that counts."

***

Nat's POV

I walk into school on Monday with a very excited Bubbles by my side.

"Did you see that? He deleted it!" she says.

"What?" I ask, turning to face her when we reach my locker.

"Yeah, the video. Big tea!" she says, leaning against the wall.

"He...." I start, trailing off.

"Deleted it, yeah. I don't know why. But he's in love with you. Please, Nat, just get together. You'll make both yourself and Alex happy as well as me and all the other girls. And Callum. And Leo. No one likes seeing the two of you like this."

I look down at the ground, biting my lip. When I look up my eyes meet with the all-too-familiar blue ones. I look away immediately. He walks past quickly, accidentally brushing shoulders with me, causing electric currents to go down my spine.

"Is he..." Bubbles trails off, staring after Alex.

"Is he what?" I spin the combination into my locker.

"He's wearing his leather jacket again," she says.

"Really?" I turn around, staring at his back. What she's saying is true. I nod and continue packing my books into my bag. "That's nice."

Bubbles laughs and we walk to her locker. "He's definitely still in love with you."

"And I'm definitely still in love with him," I say quietly. She hears me and beams.

"Good to know my ships still sailing," she says, spinning her locker combination into her lock.

"Only just," I say. She smiles and shakes her head, pulling open her locker. I wait patiently for her to pull out her book before we finally head to class.

***

Bubbles, Kate, Leo, Callum and I are all inside Taco Bell, munching on our burritos during lunch. Alex apparently couldn't come.

"So how's life, Nat?" Leo asks, munching into his burrito.

Completely and utterly depressing.

"Just fine, thanks," I say sweetly. Leo nods awkwardly and continues talking with Kate, who laughs at something he says. I'm happy that they're happy.

I bite into my taco from heaven and thank the Lord Jesus Christ that Mexican food was invented. Why the hell does Trump want to build that wall? Maybe he only likes potatoes because he looks like one.

"Hey Nat, can we talk?" Callum asks before everyone gets up to leave. I nod and wipe my mouth with a napkin. Stupid napkins, I can't even clean myself without thinking of him. And I. In that noodle shop. Making paper cranes. Out of flopping napkins.

"Sure," I say as the others go up to pay. Bubbles looks back at us.

"We'll be two seconds," Callum says. She nods with understanding and follows the others. Callum turns to me after putting his rubbish in the bin. "Alex is completely dead. I don't think he's eaten in three weeks and he's definitely not been able to sleep."

"Sorry," I say quietly, twiddling my fingers under the table.

"So you're assuming it's your fault?" he asks smugly, leaning back in the seat.

"Is it?" I ask him, raising an eyebrow.

"Of course it is," he says and I start to get sick in the stomach with guilt. "Why aren't you with him, Nat?"

"I-I-I can't tell you that," I stutter.

"Why not?" he questions.

I sigh. "You'll tell him."

"Better me than never," he says. I crack a smile.

"Better me?" I ask.

"Shut up and let me continue quizzing you," he says. I roll my eyes and he chucks my rubbish in the bin. "He's in love with you. I think you know that. He literally buys you so much stuff. Most of his moves are made for you. He's able to stare at you from our table in the cafeteria because you're so oblivious. Most of the lunchtimes we can't even get a response out of him, he's so whipped. And now you've gone and torn him apart. And I can only ask... why? Don't you love him too?"

"I-I-I-" I stutter. "I still can't tell you."

"Why not! If you're not telling me, at least tell him, it'll spare all of us the pain. I refuse to believe that you think he's just a friend. I see the way you look at each other, like no one's watching, because you actually, physically believe that! Just let yourself be happy. And you'll make him happy. Do you know he's been drinking? And staying in his room every second of every weekend, refusing to talk to anyone?"

"Drinking?" I ask.

"Yup," he says. "Please talk to him."

"I can't. It's not that simple," I say.

"Than talk to him to make it less complicated," he says. I frown as he leaves the table and I'm left to ponder my thoughts at the table, all alone, as usual.

***

The next few days I spend taking notes in classes and studying in the library at lunch so as to avoid everyone and everything. Every afternoon I do some study questions and read until I fall asleep.

On Friday the 13th I rock up to school in a baggy jumper and some sunnies, carrying my books in my arms because I couldn't find a bag. Everyone stares at me as I walk past. I'm happy I'm wearing the sunnies, otherwise, people would be able to see the bags under my eyes.

I flick my hoodie up and walk to my locker as fast as my feet can carry me. Bubbles and the girls have all gone out for a Friday breakfast. I told them I had something else on. I definitely did not.

I make my way to my next class and get there just in the nick of time. I sit down at my usual spot, waiting for Meghan. She arrives late and apologizes to the teacher multiple times before coming and sitting beside me. When she notices the sunnies perched on top of my head and the bags under my eyes she frowns but doesn't question it.

"Have you been studying too late to get your mind off Alex your bae?" she asks quietly after the teacher assigns questions.

I shrug and continue with my work.

"Yup," she says before keeping going with her own. My bladder feels like it's about to burst so I walk over to the teacher and ask to go to the bathroom. She groans, rolling her eyes, but shoos me off anyway.

I walk to the bathroom, my books in my arms because it's almost the next period. I get to the bathroom and do ma business. Then I wash my hands and walk out. The bell is about to ring so I make my way to my next classroom. I'm walking down the corridor and turn a corner. The sight I see stops me in my tracks and I drop all my books.

Alex has his hands wrapped around a girl's waist, pressing her up against a set of lockers. His hands are in her hairs and hers are wrapped around him, massaging his neck through his leather jacket. They're kissing slowly, the girl has a large smile on her face. They spring apart when they hear the bang.

Alex just stares at me for a while before I unfreeze and drop to the ground, gathering up my books, trying to keep the tears in. The bell rings and people rush out of their classes, staring at the three of us.

I tuck my hair behind my ears and start to walk off, slipping through the crowd, my tears finally falling. The girl is trying to get back on Alex. He shoves her away. I stare in front of me, not looking back. The crowd starts to thin as I turn a corner. There are a few groups of people still coming and going, so I quickly sniff up the contents of my runny nose and rush past. When I'm almost at class, I hear running footsteps behind me. I stop, starting to turn around when I'm pushed into the locker. I gasp with the shock and pain both, staring at Alex as he places one arm on my waist, and the other on the locker door beside my head.

A/N: ANOTHER WARNING PEEPS. SKIP IT!

"I'm sorry," he whispers.

"For what?" I ask back quietly.

His eyes search mine, silently asking if I'll pull away. I stare back at him. "Everything," he breathes.

He moves his hand from my waist and uses it to gently tip my head up to face his.

I look up at his gentle eyes and a tear rolls down my cheek. He brushes the tear away with his thumb and slowly presses his lips to mine. I wrap my arms around him and pull his chest into mine.

He moves his hand off the locker behind me to gently hold my face up to his. I thread my hands into his hair and play with the strands, tugging on them gently. He tilts his head to the side and kisses me harder. Broooooooooooo, why do all the other girls get to enjoy this on a daily basis and I don't.

He pulls away for a breath of air before kissing me again. I move my hands back down to around his neck and pull him into me closer. My heart rate starts to increase as the kiss deepens. His lips are soft and work against mine effortlessly. I kissed him back with the same softness. Oh, God, I'm going to regret this later.

One of his hands weaved its way into my hair, his fingers wrapping around the strands. I move one of my hands from his neck to his jawline, holding his face next to mine.

Everyone's gone to class and we're alone. I never thought I'd be one of those girls to just randomly make out with a guy in the corridor during class. But, well, here I am.

The second bell rings and I break the kiss. He pulls away and looks down at me, his hand slipping out of my hair.

"Please don't say it," he whispers, giving me one last kiss.

"I'm sorry," I say, starting to walk away.

"Please, Nat! I love you! Nothing you could say or do can ever change that. Please stay," he says. I feel my eyes brimming with tears again.

"I'm sorry, Alex," I say, turning around and rushing off. I hear the sound of a fist hitting a locker and brush my hair back off my face, trying to stop the tears from rushing out of my eyes. Stupid, stupid, stupid feelings. Why the hell does love have to be so hard?

_______________________________________________________________________

People, this was grossss assssss!

Ok, so I read something on how to write a kissing scene, which only made it more disgusting! Anyway, I'll never be able to do it without it sounding gross but spicy at the same time.

eughhhh

I have two more exams

I hate maths.

Wish me luck!

Vote! Comment!

Byeee

PS: That April fools day prank was absolutely amazing. It was fun seeing your reactions.

PPS: WATCH THE VIDEO ON THE TOP!