0.10

William

My arms wrap loosely around my waist as I squeezed my eyes shut, waiting to hear a beep from the scale.

You probably have gained a lot of weight over the past two weeks, William. All that pizza and those handful of tortilla chips from three days ago, you're bigger than a whale.

I open my eyes at the sound of the small beep that seemed to have echoed through my bathroom. My anxiety rose as I slowly lowered my head to look at the numbers.

110.6

Only 4 pounds in the past two weeks? I hardly ate a thing last week except for those slices of pizza with Anthony.

Don't forgot those tortilla chips.

But yesterday, I did eat quite a lot. I remember only purging half of my dinner and eating slices apples and bananas late at night.

See you did eat more than pizza and tortilla chips, fat ass.

I just step off the scale, a bit disappointed that my weight wasn't lower. I don't really have a target weight I wanted to reach, but I knew 110 pounds was too much considering how much fat was on my body.

You should just excersize more, lazy bitch. That's why you aren't losing that much weight. You really think puking, drinking water, and eating little amounts will make you tiny? Dumbass.

Wandering into my room, I wrapped my arms tighter around my weight, feeling the fat on my stomach  squish against my arms. Disgusting. I stare down at my clothed stomach, debating whether or not to look at myself.

Might as well see the damage you've done, William.

Sliding off my jacket, I quickly pulling off my shirt. My hands flew to my large stomach, pushing around the extra fat and grossness on my body.

It was awful feeling how big my stomach was. Why did I do this to myself? Why did I eat that pizza? Why didn't I throw it all up? Why did I eat last night? Why didn't I puke up all my dinner?

Why?

This is ridiculous. I go through enough hours of starving and water bottles to be smaller, not like this. What am I doing wrong?

My mind went back to the thought of excersizing a lot more. I haven't taken a walk since that night I saw Nick, which was over week ago.

You need to start excersizing if you want to be skinny.

You might also need to throw up more and drink more.

I listened to my mind, grabbing a water bottle off my dresser. Chugging the rest of it, the coolness filled my empty stomach.

I loved that feeling.

Gasping for air, I set the empty bottle down, letting the cold liquid flow, freezing my aching stomach.

Now go take a walk, no, better yet, go for a run. The more sweat and calories you'll burn and the skinner you'll get.

It was still early into the night, only 9 o'clock. I had school tomorrow, so I knew my mom would want me home before 11.

That's nearly two hours to run, though...

I changed into something more comfortable to run in, but not so obvious that I was going on a run.

Traveling down the stairs, I spot my mom in the living room, sipping hot chocolate and reading.

"Mom." I spoke, clearing my throat. She looked up at me, smiling as she hummed in question. "Can I take a walk?"

She glanced at the clock on the wall, squinting at it. "Be back at 10:30."

An hour and a half? I'm fine with that. I'm probably just going to walk to the skate park, run for a while, then walk back.

"I will."

My chest burned and my side ached from running for so long.  I felt like I could throw up all the water I had drank throughout the time I was running.

Just another 15 minutes, you've already been doing it for 20. You need to do this, fat ass. Run faster, you have the entire skate park and playground to circle around again. Hurry up.

Inhaling a shaky breath, I continued to jog,  the nerve in my neck pulsing at my quick heart rate.

My legs were sore and I began to wonder how I will be able to walk around school tomorrow with aching bones.

Why does that matter? You like the aching and burning pain every time you take a step. Just keep running.

My head began to spin and throb, causing me to abruptly stop in my track. My legs suddenly felt like jelly and gave out, my body collapsing onto the grass.

I panted, clutching onto my aching stomach, that was crying for me to stop and to have food.

Get up! Get off the ground, drink some water, and keep going! Do you want to be fat and gross or skinny like you've always wanted?

I pushed my upper body up, but instantly fell back onto the sharp grass.

I didn't want to move. I didn't want to keep running. I felt so fatigue and weak. I didn't want to walk back home, I don't think I will be able to.

"Will?"

My stomach flipped at the voice. Kill me.

"Are you okay?" Nicholas questioned, squatting down beside me, staring at me. I tried to steady my breath so I could reply, but it felt like air was stuck in my lungs, refusing to let me breath out and in. "Do you need to go to the hospital? Did you hurt your legs?"

I shake my head at his quick questions, the only reply I could give.

"You look exhausted."

I finally was able to exhale, "I am."

He furrows his brows, "why are you sweating? Were you running or something?" I nod, wiping the sweat off my forehead, even though it was cold outside. "Why?"

I clear my throat, trying to think of an excuse to use. "Gym. The coach is starting to get strict and is pushing us to run a lot more. I maybe over did it."

"Ya think?" Nicholas sarcastically spoke, concern written clear on his face. "I think you need to go home and sleep. You shouldn't run so much to the point that your body gives out. It's not healthy."

I nodded, knowing he was right. Maybe I pushed myself a little too hard. And I don't think running so much on an extremely empty stomach was such a bright idea

No, you're just a weak ass bitch who can't handle running for half an hour.

"I won't next time." I agreed, slowly sitting up, which was easier than when I tried a few minutes ago. "Thank you for you concern. You're really... Thoughtful."

Nick shrugs, "I guess. And you're welcome, I may not know you that well, but I don't want you to hurt yourself just because of P.E coaches."

"I won't."

He smiles gently, standing up. He reached his hand down to me, offering to help me up. I wipe my sweaty hand on my sweat pants before I grabbed onto it, pushing myself off the floor.

My legs felt weak, but I was able to stand without nearly collapsing.

"I think you grew."

I narrow my eyes up at Nicholas, holding up my middle finger, "no, you just shrunk."

He laughs, shaking his head. "You can't shrink unless you're like 80."

"Says who?"

"Says science and logic and strong bones."

He gotta point.

I just study his face, "hm, maybe. I don't think I grew though."

Nicholas pretended to stroke his imaginary beard, his eyes scanning my body. "Maybe you're 5"8 and a half now."

"You can't grow that much in a week."

"Says who?"

"Says science and logic and weak bones."

He let out a loud but charming laugh, causing me to laugh as well. His laugh was so contagious, I've realized.

"Maybe my eyes are just playing tricks on me." Nicholas thought out loud, still laughing a bit. I could smack that smile off his pretty face, but I just laughed more, my side aching.

But it was well worth it.

My eyes scanned the food in front of me, wishing I could have just skipped out on eating lunch.

Amber nudges my arm, sending me a smile, "what do you think,  Willy?"

I look at the rest of my friends, blinking, "sorry what?"

Macy rolls her eyes, hugging Shane's arm closer to her. "Wanna throw a party?"

"Why?"

She slaps her palm against her forehead, shaking her head. "For your birthday!"

Oh. I forgot it was nearly February and my birthday was coming up. Just a year away from being able to vote.

"Uh, sure. Can it be small though?"

Macy pouts, "that's no fun. A lot of people know of you, they want to celebrate your birthday."

"Yeah, but I don't know them." I pointed out, pushing my tray full of food aside. "I rather have a party with only a handful of people I personally know than a party with people I've seen once in the hallways."

Amber scowls, 'oh, c'mon, that's boring. It'll be fun! With all the music and food and we will even rent out a disco ball! You don't have to do a single thing but show up."

I glance between the two girls, looking at Scott for help. He just shrugged as he ate.

"Fine."

They both grinned at my word.

My phone buzzed in my pocket, distracting me from the girls.

Anthony- Meet me in my car outside. It's near the gate, next to a red SUV <4

Anthony- *<3 whoops

I smile at the text, rereading it, just to make sure it was from Anthony.

"What are you smiling at?" Amber asked, trying to look at my phone, but I quickly turned it off. "Ooh, are you talking to someone?"

I shake my head, "not necessarily. I'll see you guys later." I pushed my tray forward, knowing one of them would eat some of the food on the plate.

I gripped onto the handle bar of the car, opening the door to Anthony's vehicle.

Anthony's head instantly lifted, "hey." Smiling gently, I climb into the car. "Good to see you, cutie."

An odd tingly feeling ran through my body at the name. "You too."  I move around in the seat so my body was facing him so we could talk. "So, what's up?"

"Just wanted to do this."

His wam lips pressed roughly against mine, surprising me by the suddeness.  But I didn't mind it, I absolutely adored his lips.

Anthony's warm hand cupped my cheek, scooting closer to me, even though there was a capartment between the seats. My arms wrapped around his neck, my fingers pulling at his hair.

"I have to ask you something." Anthony spoke against my lips, holding them there for another moment before our mouths separated. "William."

I felt extremely nervous. Did I do something wrong? Am I bad kisser? Do I look bad? Is-

"Will you be my boyfriend?"

I just saw my best friend for the first time yesterday (I spent the night) for the first time in 2 and a half months. She was gone from school for month for reasons and I got to see her finally T_T

Hope you're enjoying <3

~Whoops