0.16

William

"Anthony." I say for the millionth time, poking my boyfriend's arm. His eyes were glued on the TV as he mashed buttons on the controller. "Uh, Anthony?"

He just hums, his eyes not leaving the screen.

I sigh as I stood, standing directly in front of him. He just leaned over, looking behind me at the game.

"Anthony!" I pout, stepping over to block his view. "Can you please pause the game?"

"It's a live match."

(My best guy friend once killed himself in a live match just to pick up my call, hangs up on "The Boys" to call me back, and pauses his game just go text me back or call me (╥﹏╥) Fuck boy friends, just get an amazing guy best friend. I just wanted to include this hehe)

"When will it be over?" Anthony just shrugs, pushing me out of the way, back onto his bed. I huff, briefly scanning his dull room before my eyes landed back on him. "Anthony!"

Again, he just ignored me, agressively pressing onto the controller. "Fuck!" He jams his fingers onto the keys. "Dammit! Shit! NO!"

Anthony throws the remote onto the ground, mumbling lines of profanity under his breath, pressing his palm to his forehead.

I clear my throat, hoping it would gain his attention. He just sighs in frustration before he turned his head, looking at me. "Yes?"

"Finally." I huff, sitting up a bit straight, a smile reaching my lips. "I just wanted to talk to you..."

Anthony hums, turning his body towards mine. "Yes, baby?"

I swallow the nervous lump in my throat, looking down at my hands. "Well, uh, nevermind. It's stupid."

He furrows his brows, "is this about the other day." I just shrug, but I wanted to nod. "I can't dedicate every single second of my life to you, Will."

"I know that." I mutter, licking my lips. "But I hadn't talked to you since Saturday then..."

Anthony sighs, rolling his eyes. "I have things to do. Not everyday I have to text you or call you or talk to you."

Stop being a clingy bitch, William.

I just nodded, looking off to the side, "you're right, I'm sorry." Anthony grabs my chin, tilting my face back towards his. My eyes shifted to my hands, avoiding his gaze.

His lips pressed against my forehead, resting in the spot for a second before removed them. "I want to go eat something, are you hungry?" I shrug, my stomach numb to any ache. "Let's go eat, okay?"

"I'm not really hungry."

Anthony scoffs, "yes you are, you look like you are."

I knit my brows together, staring at my boyfriend in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know, you look like you've gained some weight and-"

"I do?" I scowl, looking at my clothed stomach, panic rising in me. "Oh."

"So are you hungry or...?"

I look back at Anthony, gulping. "Sorta, I guess." He let out an odd hum before he left to get food.

Is my weight gain that noticable? Have I been over eating? Does he think I look fat? Oh my gosh, of course he does. He said so himself!

Fast for a few days, throw up whatever you are forced to eat, easy enough. Then you should get back down.

I mentally nod at the plan.

Anthony came back in with two plates full of food, my stomach already complaining at just sight of it. He set the plates down before he went to his dresser, picking something up.

He brought it to his mouth, smoking leaving it, a scent beginning to flow through the air.

"You know, vaping is bad for you." I inform Anthony, watching as he inhaled it again.

He shrugs, walking back over to me. "Yeah, well so is cutting yourself." He let out the scented smoke from his mouth before he sat down.

My jaw dropped, "did you really just..." I just scoff, grabbing my keys from his window sill. "I'm leaving."

Anthony scowls, looking up from the TV, "why?"

"Because, all you care about is your video game.and you're being a jerk right now." I mumbles as I stood from his bed. "See you later."

"Wait." Anthony grabs my hand, pulling me towards him him. "Babe."

I pull away my hand away from him, huffing. "Why should I wait?" He grips onto my hand, pulling me down towards him. His lips pressed against mine for a moment, the magical addictedness to his lips slowly fading.

"I didn't mean to be a jerk."

"Yeah, but you were."

Anthony sighs, kissing my head. "Just stay. Please. I like you and your company."

I sigh, shaking my head. "My mom wants me home before she gets off of work anyways. I'll call you later, though..."

Anthony just grumbled something under his breath, "it's whatever then... Bye."

I open my arms, sending him a gentle smile. He just looks back at the TV, starting a new match. "Don't be like that. It's not my fault my mom wants me home."

Anthony didn't say anything, just shrugged. I sigh again, pecking his cheek before I stood up, leaving his room

The ride home was awful. I felt like crying and just driving off a cliff (even though there is none nearby). Am I doing something wrong? Why is he acting like this? Is there something I can do? What's going on?

Because he found out you cut yourself and you're getting fatter, of course he doesn't want to be with you.

Once I entered the house, my older sisters noticed I was down (the twins were having a sleepover), both of them suggesting we do something to cheer me up. I just waved them off, going to my room.

I collapsed onto my bed, stuffing my face into my pillow. Tears formed in my eyes, threatening to spill.

Don't fucking crying, you're not a pathetic bitch, are you? Suck it up, it's just a dumb boy that you don't even deserve. You don't deserve anything.

"Will, hun?" The door opened and the bed shifted as a weight sat by my head.

Another weight sat near the bottom of my bed. "Lucille told us you seemed down, is everything alright?"

I nod, turning my head to the side, my eyes meeting my mom's. My eyes then shifted down to my dad. "Yeah."

"So, uh, Gabby told me something that you told Lucille."

My eyes widened at my mom's words, every single thing that I've ever told my older sister ran through my head. Is this about Anthony? My eating? What does Gabby know that my parents now does that I've told Lucille?

"Why didn't you tell us you were gay?"

My stomach sunk, but I also felt like I was about to throw up. My mouth opened to reply, but nothing but sputters and unfinished words came out.

"Sweety, I don't care if you are." She adds, some of my nerves leaving. "I just want to know if it's true."

I gulp, sitting up. My eyes went from my mom, to my dad's, back and forth for a moment. "Not necessarily... I don't think I'm fully gay..." I'm just dating a guy and let him suck-

"You think?"

"It's complicated..." I spoke while clearing my throat. I bit the inside of my cheek, looking down at my hands. "Wait, Lucille told Gabby?!"

My dad nodded, glancing at his wife.

"She's so fucking dead." I grumble under my breath, rushing out of my room, nearly tripping over my own two feet. "Lucille! Gabrielle!"

"Yes?" Lucille sang from downstairs.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" I scowl, glaring at her from the top of the stair case. "You told Gabby that I'm gay! And you told our parents!"

Lucille looks at our sister with a glare, smacking her arm. "When I told you, I trusted you not to tell!"

"The point is that you told someone, Lucy!" I exclaim, slapping my palm against my forehead. I wanted to disappear. My entire family knows that I have some type of interest in boys. Great.

Lucille makes her way towards the stairs, "well at least they don't know about your boyfriend and what you guys did on your birthday."

"You have a boyfriend!?"

"You did what on your birthday, young man?"

My eyes danced between Gabby and my mom, feeling extremely overwhelmed by everyone's eyes on me. I was upset that Lucille told Gabby (who is the biggest snitch ever), who told our parents, and then Lucille told everyone I had a boyfriend. Also that I did some things on my birthday!

I felt like I couldn't breath, a large weight setting on my chest.

I gulped, focusing on my breathing. "Maybe."

"Maybe to which question?" Gabrielle questions, digging my whole deeper.

Lucille grins, "Willy just has a cute boyfriend and does naughty things with him."

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

I groan, my head pounding from the frustration I had on my sisters. My cheeks heated up in embarrassment as I glared at Lucille.

"Excuse me?" My mom cleared her throat to gain our attention. "So you aren't gay, but you have a boyfriend?"

"I'm not gay!"

"He's bi." Lucille informs my mom with a small giggle. "Or bi-curious. Did you like doing it with a guy, Will?"

"Lucille!" I hiss, groaning against in annoyance. "This is why I don't tell you shit!"

"Language." My dad comments, still looking between my sisters and I.

Lucille just shrugs, picking at her nails. "Hm, yeah, you shouldn't have told me, I guess."

Gabby just giggles from the sofa.

I turn on my heel, slid between my parents, stomping to my room.

I can't believe her. She tells our snitching sister and then everyone my business on top of that. Maybe I wanted to tell my parents I like guys. Maybe I wanted to tell my family that I was dating someone...

Another groan left my lips as I stuffed my face into my pillow, the position feeling all too fiamilar.