0.2

William

I always loved the fresh smell of coffee. Whether it was in the middle of the day or late at night, it was such a memorable smell.

For a year, I've been working at a cozy coffee shop that my grandma once owned, but now my mom does. I grew up coming to this coffee shop and my grandma always allowed me to have a donut behind my mom's back.

Now, I work here, involuntarily. Lucille and I are usually the only two ever here, sometimes another co-worker will be there, but usually they are only here in the morning. My mom is never here when we are, she's just the boss. She leaves all the work up to Lucille and I once we get out of school.

But I don't really mind it. I love the fresh smell of coffee whenever I brew a new pot of it and the smile on people's faces.

"Then Becca kissed him." Lucille finished, staring at her nails. "So I guess I have to stay with Ethan now."

I didn't even remember what she was saying, something about someone getting with someone else. I'm not sure. I just nodded along, gasping when she exclaimed something, and just acted like I was interested.

"Damn."

Lucille nods, "yep. I gotta use the bathroom, I'll be back." She sets down a cup before she walks to the back, towards the bathroom. Not many people were here, so I was okay with it.

The moment she left, the door opens. I glance up, an unfamiliar teen boy walking in. His eyes scanned the place.

Usually the same people would come here. Some people from school came to see Lucille, the regular handful of buissness men came later on to have a nice place to focus, and then old people...

Teens usually come here to either study or get donuts.

"May I help you?" I questioned the guy who seemed amazed by the place. His dark brown eyes met mine. "Do you need the wifi password or something?"

He shakes his head, "no, I was just checking the place out." His voice was gentle and flowy, but had some deepness to it.

Who checks out a coffee shop?

I nod, "well, uh, if you want anything, the menu is up there." I pointed to a large poster on the wall.

The guy was tall and had some sort of muscle on him. He had dark brown hair and dark brown eyes. He was attractive I guess, but he seemed boring.

I'm not gay or anything, but I know how to tell if a guy is cute or not...

"Are you hiring?"

I scan him for a moment. He seems suitable to work here. "One moment please." I grabbed my phone, quickly calling my mom.

We spoke for a only a minute or two before she hung up, saying she was driving so I shouldn't bother her.

"We are." I finally tell the boy, smiling. "The manager isn't here right now, but I can get you an application form. She'll review it tomorrow morning."

"An application form to work at a damn coffee shop?"

I chuckle lightly, nodding. "Yeah, you just need to fill out basic information. Like your address, ways we can contact you, criminal record, stuff like that."  He stares at me for a moment before nodding. "So, what's your name?"

"Anthony."

I hum, "well Anthony, I'm William. My mom owns this coffee shop, so I don't think you'll have any trouble being able to work here. As long as you haven't done anything bad." I grabbed the forms he needed as well as a pen before handing them to him.

I study the boy as he filled out the sheets, taking his time on it. He was definitely a teenager, unless he was a 20 year old that shaved. But based on his awkwardness when he came in, he's a teen.

I've never seen him before, though. I talk to a lot of people when I'm at school, but never have I seem him around.

Maybe he is homeschooled.

Lucille came back probably 10 minutes later, using, "I'm on my period," as an excuse. She used it last week and the week before that, so I don't even know at this point.

"Who's that?" She asked, gesturing to Anthony,who was still filling out the forms. It's only like two pages of basic information...

"His name's Anthony, he's applying."

"Are we even hiring?"

I shrug, "I called Mom and she said to give him an application." Lucille nods as she glanced at the odd boy before grabbing her cup of coffee.

Soon, Anthony was done and gave me the forms. I glanced over them, seeing he was 18.

"Do you go to school around here?" I asked, setting down the papers. "Or have you graduated?"

He shakes his head, "I just moved here last week, but I'm going to North Dale High... I think that's the damn name. It's the one not to far from here."

Oh, so we'll be going to the same school and possibly working with each other. Neat.

"Oh, I go there. What grade are you in?" I questioned with a slight smile.

"Senior."

Oh, the grade above me.

I point back at Lucille, "that's what grade she's in." I look back at Lucille, who was shoving a donut into her mouth. I felt kinda bad that I brought attention to her. "Lucy."

She looks at me, widening her eyes. I gesture for her to come over, not caring that she was eating. Lucille slowly walks over to the counter, chewing on the donut.

"Luce, this is Anthony. He's new to this town. He's in the same grade as you, so maybe you can help him out on the first day."

Lucille looks at Anthony, holding a hand over her mouth as she chewed, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. I snicker at her unfortunateness.

After a moment, she gulps then holds her hand out, "I'm Lucille, nice to meet you." She flashes her pearl whites that currently had chocolate on them. I stiffle a laugh.

Soon, Anthony left after talking to us for a bit. Lucille smacked me because I embarrassed her. I just smirk as I sipped on coffee.

I plop down onto my bed, my stomach aching at the emptiness. My mom and dad were both busy, so they let everyone eat in their rooms for dinner. I just poured my Speghetti and meatballs back into the pot after she went to her room.

Hunger pinged at my stomach. It felt like someone was squeezing it, begging for food. I just sipped on some water to clench my hunger.

I didn't realize that I've barely eaten today. My mom made breakfast this morning, but I only ate a few bites of eggs before I left for school. I skipped lunch and avoided my friends trying to offer me food.

The only thing I really had today was that cup of coffee hours ago.

Just chug some water then go to sleep. If you're asleep, you can't feel the hunger, I thought to myself.

My parents and siblings would be confused why I am asleep so early though. Especially since Lucille knows I drank coffee.

I didn't really know how else to distract myself. Take an hour long shower? Call a friend?

If I played video games or watched a movie, did homework, really anything, I will get bored and my hunger will come back.

Just sleep, William. Everyone else is too busy to care if you're awake or not.

I pressed against my wrist, resisting the urge to harm myself. I haven't in a week and I want to keep it up, but cutting is like a drug to me.

Humming to myself, I tried to think of advice that I saw online. Just think of happy thing. Like my sisters and family. My friends.

It wasn't helping much. If anything, it made the urge less bearable.

It's kinda pathetic that I couldn't go any longer than a week without cutting. Once I felt the blade from an old pencil sharpener pressed against my wrist, I couldn't hold back the urge.

Part of me felt guilty for letting myself down, but I felt so relieved in a way.

I've never had anyone there to stop me. I've never had anyone there to tell me no... Mostly because I have never really told anyone.

Laying in the darkness, tears swelled in my eyes. I felt so weak and pathetic. I couldn't even go farther than a week without hurting myself. I can't even finish a meal.

"You're so pathetic." I mumbled to myself, hugging my body. It still felt so big to me. I didn't like the feeling of any body fat on me. I like the thought of being thin and graceful.

Tears left my eyes as I grabbed a pillow, hugging it against my body. I hated crying, I really do. My eyes felt cry after wards, my nose got red and stuffy, my face would heat up. I just hated it.

But crying seemed like the best thing to do right now.

Poor little bean 🖤