0.21

A majority of the chapter is in text, sorry :/

William

March finally arrived. The third quarter was almost over, so I was overwhelmed with all the work being thrown at me last minute.

My grades were exceptionally well, mainly just B's and an A in P.E. School was the last thing on my mind though.

Lately, I've just been lonely. I feel awful and I can't stop thinking about Anthony. What he did was cold hearted and awful, but I still really like him. I liked his care and sweetness at the beginning, and it ended horribly.

But apart of me still misses him, even though we were only in a relationship for not even a month and a half.

I've been trying to not push everyone away. I text Nicholas a few times a day, just to make sure he's okay. He's always as happy as could be, but I know he's just trying to be strong and hide his emotion.(fricking Aquarius)

I sit at the lunch table with my friends, I talk with my family, I try to eat whenever my head hurts or I felt weak, I take showers, I remember to take care of myself like Nick told me to do.

You should check on him and make sure he's doing the same. He may have eaten a shit ton of potatoes the other day, but he maybe hasn't eaten since.

I grab my phone, quickly texting him.

Me- Hey. Sorry to bother u... But r u doing alright? R u eating and drinking and showering... Taking care of ur self? I know u r going thru a rough time. I just want to make sure u r ok.

Nicholas was quick to reply, which made me smile.

Nick- Hey, I'm doing well, I guess. Not the best, not the worst. I'm still taking care of myself, though. Thank you for checking on me :) How are you doing? Everything alright with you? Are you eating, drinking, showering, doing all that?

I realized how proper he texted. Not text talk but with, proper sentences, commas... I liked it.

Me- Is there anything I can do to make u feel better? I don't want u to be "not the worst and not the best"...

Nick- There's nothing really anyone can do. I don't even know what to do when everything starts hitting me. I just try to stay positive and take care of myself. Thank you though. You never answered my questions lol.

Maybe I don't want to answer the question, Nicholas.

Me- Oh... Well... I'm here for you if you need to be cheered up. And ig I have.

Nick- Thank you. And you guess? That doesn't seem convincing. Are you eating? Remember what happened last time...

I gulp, my thumbs hovering over the keyboard. Do I lie? I feel like Nick can tell whenever I lied...

Me- You're very much welcome :)

Nick- Stop avoiding the question lmao

Me- eh... I maybe have forgotten to eat a few meals over the past few days... I'm ok tho

Nicholas didn't instantly reply again, so I bet he either is tired of me or is typing a long ass paragraph scolding me.

My phone dinged a few minutes later, so I assumed it was the second option.

Nick- Will, you need to eat. I don't care if you eat 3 whole meals, 5 small meals, snack all day and eat dinner, whatever! You need to remember to eat and to listen to your body when you're hungry. And if you don't feel hungry but you know you haven't eaten much today, eat something.

Nick- You could really hurt yourself refusing to eat and skipping meals. When was the last time you ate? Have you eaten dinner? Drank anything recently?

I reread the messages, letting the text sink in. I know I should eat more and I shouldn't avoid eating so much, but I am just now starting to get below 110.

I haven't eaten today, though.  My mom came home late from so she ordered pizza. I just put it back whenever she left the room.

I threw up dinner yesterday and only ate a string cheese that afternoon.

Me- uhh... No... I've drank some water... That's all

Nick- Does your parents not make you eat?

Me- They do... They just don't monitor my breakfast and lunch.  Today my mom just got pizza and I didn't want any.

Nick-You need to eat something, William. Not just something small. But something not so heavy. Like a sandwich, a slice of pizza, or something of that sort. You also should drink some juice or tea. Maybe even some soda, even though it's getting late. Something other than just water, which has absolutely no nutrients, which you need.

Me- i will.

Nick- Are you just saying that or are you actually going to go eat?

Me- idk... I might eat later...

Nick- why not now? Are you afraid of eating?

That's exactly it.

Me- I... I mean ig... I just have a weird relationship with food. I avoid it when I'm stressed or sad or whatever...

Nick- Well, that's not good, Will... I know during tough times, you feel unmotivated to do certain things, but you need to eat. For energy and nutrition.

But I don't want to eat... I don't want to get fatter and people start to notice.... How do you tell someone that who's pressuring you to eat...

Me- I'll eat later. Okay? Okay. Next topic

Nick- What? No, we can't just... Ugh. Fine. Are you busy this weekend? My mom is working most of the weekend and none of my other friends are available.

Me- I think I am... Idk if I have to work or not... But other than work I'm not. Why??

Nick- Oh just wondering.

Nick- Wtf do you mean why? Why else would I ask? Can you come over? Pah-leaseee??

I smile at the message, my eyes rescanning it a million times.

Me- I'll ask. But I will definitely come over if I'm able too

Nick- YAYYY I CAN MAKE YOU POTATOES!!! YOU MUST EAT POTATOES!

Me- Potatoes... Ugh...fine. only for you

Nick- You shall eat potatoes and you shall like them.

Me- ig I shall. What day do you want me come?

Nick- Come on Friday and stay til Sunday hehe.

Me- the whole weekend... Eating potatoes... Okay that's fine.

Nick- I will feed you more than potatoes, but you must still eat potatoes with me. AND YAYYYYYYYYYY!!

I texted Nicholas good night since I was growing tired. A smile was on my face as I rested my head against my pillow, Nicholas's text and the image of him smiling fresh in my mind.

The next morning, I felt happier than usual. There was a dull ache in my stomach though, and I suddenly remembered Nick's words that scolded me to eat.

The smell of food floated through the air, my stomach grumbling loudly in reaction. Today was my mom's day off, so I knew she made breakfast before we left for school.

"Will, come eat!" My mom beams, scooping eggs onto a plate that had bacon and toast on it. "I made orange juice too!"

I guess eating some breakfast would be fine after not eating for days. Just a little though.

Plopping into the seat, I stare at the food in front of me, swallowing thickly. Why did she put so much butter on the toast?Why so much salt and pepper on my eggs?

Poking at the eggs,  I slowly lifting them to my awaiting mouth. I felt like everyone's eyes were on me, but I knew everyone else were enjoying their food.

I finish up half of my eggs before my phone vibrated in my pocket, notifying me. I check it, seeing an unknown but fiamilar number texted me.

Unknown- Hey... I know u don't want to hear from me but I miss u so much. I miss seeing u and kissing u and being with u. I'm sorry for hurting u. What I did was stupid. Can we start over baby? Your everything to me

-Anthony

I scowl, my appetite completely lost. My eyes re-read the text, studying his words.

"What is it?" Lucille questions, noticing my sour expression. I just shrug, my fingers hovering over the keys.

Is he serious? Should I trust him again?

You're a dumbass if you do, William. You might be a piece of shit, but you don't need him in your life.

Lucille raised a brow, reaching for my phone, which I allowed her to take to read the message.

Her eyes danced over the words, her face hardening. She looked over at me, sharing a scowling look with me. "What are you going to say?"

"I was going to correct his grammar honestly... Then block him." I shrugged, pushing the remaining of my eggs around on my plate. Lucille hands me back my phone, still a bitter look on her face. "I know he's just trying to use me again, Luce, I'm not falling for it."

"You better not." She spat, shoveling a forkful of eggs into her mouth. I look back down at my phone's, seeing another message from him.

Unknown- Please. Baby... Your everything to me and I need you back. I'm so sorry.

Me- You're* fuck off and stop texting me

I didn't wait for another reply, I just deleted the conversation and shoved my phone into my pocket. My eyes flickered down to my food, a sick feeling twisting in my stomacb.

I felt nauseous at the fact that I ate so much eggs and a bite of over buttered toast.

A warm hand pressed against my forehead, feeling around my warm face. "Do you feel sick, honey?" Mom questioned, pressing her lips against my head. "You feel warm."

"I'm okay." I assure, clearing my throat. "I don't know why I'm warm, I feel okay."

"You look pale and sick."

I wave it off, sending my mom a reassuring smile. "I'm okay, I promise."