0.8

William

"Lucille." I spoke, knocking on her door. Her eyes snapped up from her phone, suddenly on me. "Can, uh, we talk?"

Her face fell with concern as she nods, patting an empty spot on her bed. I shut the door, hurrying to her bed.

"What's wrong? Are you okay? Do you need me to hide something from Mom and Dad? Did you eat the rest of their pasta?! It was you, wasn't it?! Gabby got blamed but-"

"I kissed Anthony."

Lucille's eyes instantly widened to the side of dinner plates, her jaw dropping.  She puts a hand over her mouth to muffle her loud gasp.

"William!" She exclaims, blinking a few times as she stared at me in shock. "You're gay?!"

I shush her, shaking my head. "I don't know, Luce... I never thought I would want to kiss a guy, but I really liked kissing him."

Lucille swallows before she replied, "wow... So you're bisexual?" I shrug again. "Bi-curious then?"

"Possibly."

Lucille let's out another gasp, letting out a high pitched squeal. "Awe, really?!" I sheepishly shrug again, itching the back of my neck. "Wait, are you guys dating?"

I instantly shook my head, "no, we only kissed."

"Just kissed? A little kiss or did y'all make out?" I groan at my sister, feeling my pale cheeks darken. "You made out! Oh my gosh!"

I put my finger to my mouth, "someone's going to hear you, Lucy!" She quickly shut her mouth, but still bounced with excitement. "He asked me to hang out again though."

She lets out a louder gasp, clapping her hands. "Really?! When did this happen? When is the date? I need answers, Will!"

I laugh at my sister's cheerfulness. "This weekend when I went to his house. And it's not a date, he just asked to hang out..."

Lucille's face fell slightly, "but not to be your boyfriend, damn."

I let out a chuckle, "I don't really know him that well. I want to get to know him better before I even consider dating him."

"So you're going to be fuck buddie?"

"What, no, Lucille!"

My sister just sighs in disappointment, but waves it off. "Hm, fine. When are you guys going to 'hang out'?"

I lick my lips before replying, "uh, this Friday night... I told Mom I was going to go out already and she's fine with it."

"So you lied to our mom so you can go 'hang' with a guy you barely know and is over a year older than you?"

I open my mouth to reply, but I didn't know how to. She was right. Should I cancel then?

"I'm 17 next month."

"He's still over a year older than you." She points out with a grin. "Wow, I still can't believe you kissed your coworker."

I can't believe myself either.

I just shrug with another small chuckle, "yeah, it's crazy."

"Do you like him?"

"I don't really know him."

Lucille furrows her brows as her face twisted in confusion. "Then why did you agree to go on a date with him?"

"I saw potential." I admit, biting the skin on my lip nervously. "I thought that if I got to know him a little better, maybe then I'd like him."

She cocks her head to the side, still confused. "Oh, hm. Well, just be careful and have fun. Don't suck too many di-"

"Lucy!"

My sister erupted in a fit of giggles, leaning back onto her bed. I laughed with her, feeling better about the whole situation.

"Are you going to tell Mom that you're gay?"

"I'm not gay, Lucille. I've just kissed a guy and I'm going to hang out with him a week afterwards." I explain, clearing my throat. "That DOES NOT make me gay."

She smirks, "keep telling yourself that." She sends me a wink, making me groan in annoyance. "But if you guys do date, are you going to tell Mom and Dad?"

Just the thought of coming out to them made butterflies swarm in my stomach.  "I'm not sure, honestly." My sister pursed her lips into a thin line. "I mean, should I?"

She shrugs, brushing her hair behind her ear, "it's up to you. It's not my place to tell you if you should or not. I won't tell anyone. But, they won't get mad, okay?  You know how understanding they are."

"Yeah. But if their only son likes boys..."

Lucille squeezes my shoulder in a reassuring manner, "they'll understand, Will. Trust me." I nod at my sister, letting out a much needed breath. "Let's go look what's for dinner, I'm starving."

My stomach churned at the idea of food in it. I nervously chuckle and nodded,following my sister out of her room.

The smell of beef floated through the air, making my mouth water. I peaked my head into the kitchen, seeing Mom grilling burgers on the stove, humming along to the music on her phone. My Dad was taking trays of fries from the oven, setting them on the counter.

Oh no. Burgers and fries... Two very unhealthy things that made my stomach wince.

"Hey, kids. Dinner will be ready in a few minutes." Mom told Lucille and I, noticing we were watching them. "Could you ask Gabrielle if she wants cheese on her burger? She said she wanted to try a dairy diet but I don't know if that lasted long."

Lucille nods, walking into the living room where my other siblings were.

Not having cheese on my burger seemed like a good idea... I was going to throw it all up anyways, but it just helped decrease the calories.

"You want cheese, right?" Mom asked as she placed cheese slices on the cooked burgers. I bit my lip. "Will?"

"Uh, no, I want to try it without it."

My dad looks at me weirdly at my denial to cheese, but quickly shrugs it off.

Lucille came back into the kitchen, saying how Gabby wanted cheese and gave up on the dairy-free diet.

"Figures." Mom mumbled, placing a cheese slice on the beef. "Okay, dinner's ready, get as much fries as you want."

I placed the patty on my plate, getting odd looks from my siblings when I didn't grab a bun. I ignored them, placing a small amount of fries on my plate.

"No bun?" Mom asked, examining my plate. "You know that a patty and a few fries isn't enough."

It doesn't matter, it's all coming up the same way. A bun will just make it harder.

"I ate a lot for lunch today. I'm still full from that."

My mom scoffs at my excuse, "I don't care if you ate an entire buffet for lunch. You all have very fast metabolisms and you had lunch 6 hours ago. Make an actual burger with condiments and vegetables."

"But, I-"

She just takes the plate from my hand, grabbing a bun off the counter. I sigh in defeat, sitting down at the table. I watch as my mom made my burger, adding mayoinoise, mustered, ketchup, and lettuce to it.

She adds more fries before she sets the plate down in front of me, giving me a stern look before she sat down. I look at the burger uneasily, wishing I could just eat air.

"William, eat."

I just nod at Mom's demand, placing a fry into my mouth. I wanted to cringe at the salty, crispy food I just involuntarily placed in my mouth.

I take a sip of water to wash it down, looking the rest of the food on my plate. I could throw up right now at the amount of it left.

By the time everyone was finishing up eating, I had only made a dent in my fries and a quarter of the burger. I wanted to eat more, hell, I wanted to eat all the fries and burgers with cheese in the world.

But I was already fat enough and I didn't need the extra weight.

"Will, why aren't you eating?" My mom asked, her eyes narrowing at me. "Is there a problem with the food?"

I shake my head, "no, I'm just full."

Her bright eyes shifted from me to the plate then back to me. "Are you serious, William? Eat your dinner, now."

"But-"

"Are you feeling sick?" Dad questions, tilting his head slightly as he studied my face. "You look a bit pale."

Lucille places the back of her hand on my forehead then my neck. "He feels fine."

Thanks Lucille, thanks for that...

"Well, why aren't you eating?" Dad asked up, glancing at Lucille as if she had an answer. She shrugs, her eyes on me as well.

"I'm not hungry."

"The last time you ate was 6 hours ago, Will. If you even did eat lunch. I bet you didn't. You-"

"Shut the hell up, Lucille!" I hiss, kicking her shin from underneath the table, making her gasp at my action. Pushing my chair out from the table, I glare at my sister.

"William, why-"

"Leave me alone!" I practically begged my mother, stepping out of the kitchen, rushing up the stairs.

I held my stomach, tears and the remains of my food in the toilet, mocking me. Not only were my eyes watering from the smell, but from feeling overwhelmed.

I always get frustrated so easily and I hated it. It made my head hurt and my eyes water from the rush of emotions.

My body just gave out in front of the stomach full of foulness, my head beginning to throb in pain.

You're just dehydrated, you just threw up a lot of water.

I flushed the toilet, cringing at the smell and the sight of it all.

My head pressed against the wall behind me as tears steadily rolled down my cheeks.

My headache increased by the second and my throat tightened from crying and the dryness of it . I wanted to go and get water, but I didn't want to face my family.

I do have a sink though...

Pushing against the wall, I slowly stood up, my legs wobbling slightly because of the position I was in. Slamming my hands down on the counter, I looked up into the mirror, frowning at my appearance.

My cheeks were red and blotchy, my hair was messy because I kept running my fingers through it, and I just looked sick. More tears formed in my eyes as I stared at myself, disapproving of my appearance.

I lay down on my bed, just looking into the darkness of my room. My hands dragged underneath my eyes, wiping away the tears that were still escaping from my eyes.

Ignoring my tears and frustration, I reach for my blanket, feeling around the bed until I felt the soft fabric. I just sigh, pulling the covers over me.

:/

I just wanted to give a chapter to show how overwhelmed and snappy not eating and starving yourself can make someone. And I want to include how Will told Lucille about Anthony.