Hate You: Chapter 33

“I’m so sorry,” Danni says between sniffs when she pulls back from me. “Is that for me?” She nods at the glass of wine and I push it towards her, confused as to how this is going to go down. I thought she was going to turn up and shout at me.

I watch as she drinks half the wine in one go. “You’ve got some explaining to do.”

I follow her as she walks toward my sofas with her wine in hand. She takes the left-hand one, curling her legs beneath her and getting comfortable so I take the right.

“Start at the beginning,” she demands, and so I do.

I forget all about any fucked-up loyalty I had for Zach and I tell her everything about his business and what he does with his life. Pride fills her eyes as I explain the success he’s had and how his business is thriving not only here but in his American studios as well.

“Well, fuck me. I didn’t think he had it in him,” she says, downing the last of her wine before getting up to retrieve the bottle I stupidly left in the kitchen.

“He’s got a lot in him that you probably don’t know about,” I mutter, more to myself than her, my cheeks heating as I think of some of the time we spend together.

“So about that. How’d you end up…” she waves her hand around, not wanting to say the words.

I cringe as I think about our first time, but this is time for me to be honest so I decide not to hold back on any details.

“I was in the next fucking room. You dirty bitch,” Danni squeals.

“I just can’t—couldn’t,” I correct when I remember that it’s over, “help myself.” I sigh, remembering his touch like it was only yesterday. Craving it like I might get to experience it again. But he’s made his choice, and I’m not the kind of woman who goes crawling after a man who clearly doesn’t want her, no matter how good the orgasms are.

The whole time we’re talking, my phone is going crazy. “Are you going to get that at any point?” Danni asks, looking over to where it’s vibrating against the kitchen counter.

“It’s just the guys wanting to know why I didn’t come back to work.”

“You didn’t tell them you were done?”

“No, I thought I’d leave it up to the boss to explain how he fucked up.”

“Fair enough. Seems like they miss you.”

I blow out a breath. “I miss them too. I loved working there, spending time with the guys. Something about it just felt so right.”

“And you’re allowing my dickhead of a brother to ruin that for you? I thought you were stronger than that.”

“I’m not going back there when he clearly doesn’t want me.”

Silence falls between us, but the concern that’s been on Danni’s face since the moment she walked into my flat is still there.

“My parents are worried. Something’s going on. They won’t tell me what, but they’ve fallen out and they can’t reach him.”

A bitter laugh bubbles up my throat. “So that’s why you’re being so nice all of a sudden? You need me to get to him.” I realise my mistake the second the words are out of my mouth, because her face drops.

“Biff, no. I was angry on Saturday night, unbelievably so, but it was a crazy day and emotions were running high. I’ve had a few days to think and I’ve realised that I might have jumped off the deep end slightly. Zach’s always been… mysterious. He’s never given himself to us completely and always held such a huge part of himself back. I shouldn’t have expected you to sell him out the second you learned the truth. I know you’re a better friend than that. Of course it hurts that you kept secrets from me, but I understand. I get why you did it, and I know I shouldn’t hold it against you. Fucking him while I was in the next room though… that’s an entirely different situation.” She can’t hold her smile in and after a second it curls at her lips.

She goes to say more but is interrupted by my buzzer ringing.

“That’ll be my dinner. There’s enough to share if you want some.”

“Yep, I’m starving.”

I get up to allow the delivery in, pressing my finger on the button without bothering to speak. I don’t think anything of it until a thundering knock sounds out on my front door.

“Biff, open up,” a familiar voice booms.

My brows draw together. I know they want me to come back, but I’m not really sure a home visit on a busy Friday night is necessary.

Knowing I can’t ignore him when he’s standing the other side of my front door, I walk over and pull it open.

Titch comes barrelling inside before I’ve even said a word.

“I need you to come to the studio,” he demands without so much as looking around.

“I’m sorry, but I’m done. He’s—”

“A fucking mess, Biff. I can’t get him to come out of his flat. He’s been in there since fucking shit up in the studio on Wednesday. He won’t listen to us. But I have a feeling he’ll listen to you.”

My heart starts to race as I put Titch’s words together with what Danni just said. “What’s happened?”

I don’t hear Danni’s footsteps until she’s right behind me.

“What’s going— You, what the fuck are you doing here?” I look over my shoulder to find her staring daggers at Titch. Her voice, which was concerned, suddenly turned to ice when she realised who I was talking to.

I look back to Titch, whose eyes are wide and lips parted in shock. “Dan—”

“Don’t,” she barks in a tone I’ve never heard from her before. I look back and forth between them, expecting one of them to fill in the blanks for me, but neither does as they just stare at each other, their bodies set as if they’re about to fight any second.

“Err… what the fuck is going on right now?”

“Nothing,” Danni snaps, dragging her eyes from Titch and back to me. They soften and wordlessly beg me not to keep prying.

Titch seems to snap himself out of his trance without Danni’s eyes on him, and he remembers why he’s here.

“Will you please just come and try to talk to him? He’ll listen to you.”

I shake my head. “He won’t. He doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

“Do you really believe that?” he asks, shaking his head in disbelief. “Zach’s been with a lot of women over the years. Sorry,” he adds when the colour drains from my face at the thought. “But I’ve never seen him like he was with you.”

“You only saw us arguing.”

“Exactly. He cared enough to keep you around to argue with. He could have got rid of you that first day he found you, but he didn’t.” I keep my mouth firmly shut instead of pointing out that he would have done if I weren’t so damn stubborn and insisted on going back. “Please, Biff. He needs you, I know it.”

I look at Danni. “You should go. Everyone’s clearly worried.”

I blow out a frustrated breath that after the way he’s treated me I’m still willing to go and drag him out of whatever mess he’s found himself in. “Fine,” I mutter. “You coming?” I ask Danni as I grab a pair of boots from the hall cupboard and tug them on.

She looks to Titch and then back to me. “I’ll… uh… wait here, if that’s okay? Wait for you to get back.”

“You just want the dinner,” I joke. I can tell by the look on her face that she’s as concerned about her brother as Titch is right now.

“Call me if you need me to leave, or need anything.” She hands my phone over. I take it and slip it into my pocket.

“Let’s go before I change my mind.”

I follow Titch out. Silence hangs heavy between us as we make the short walk to the studio.

“What’s happened?” I ask again when we’re almost there.

“I have no idea. He had a client Wednesday afternoon and freaked the fuck out the second she left. He’s been weird since the wedding, but things went nuclear on Wednesday.”

“The wedding was my fault,” I admit.

“Why?”

“I was there. He realised that I’d been lying to him since we met.”

“Go on,” Titch encourages, anger tinging his usually calm voice.

“We went to school together. He just didn’t remember me.”

“Oh shit, girl. No wonder he hated you and wanted you gone.” He sounds more shocked than he should be.

I sigh, sadly unable to disagree with him. I was a threat and although he didn’t know the severity of it until Saturday, something within him understood.

The studio is all lit up and open as if nothing out of the ordinary is going on inside. Titch pushes the front door open, and the familiar ding of the bell fills my ears. It’s been a week since I was here last, but even still I’m hit with a wave of nostalgia. No matter what happens from here on out, this place has given me something I never thought I’d get to experience. It allowed me to be me for the first time. I think it’s the reason Zach and I connected the way we did. The two of us aren’t so different with wanting to break away from our families, he just had no clue I was just like him.

Titch walks us straight through reception and I get a little taste of what he was talking about. My desk is empty, and a pile of magazines and books sit where an old bookcase used to be. He doesn’t stop until we’re at the top of the stairs and standing before the door keeping me from Zach.

“Go on…” Titch whispers.

I bite down on my bottom lip as I try to figure out what the hell I’m meant to say. Having a clue as to why he’s locked himself in here in the first place would help.

Sucking in a breath, I lift my hand to knock.

The silence continues for a few seconds, so I try again. That seems to wake the beast.

“Fuck. Off.” A pang hits me in the chest at the pain in his voice. It might have only been two angry words, but I heard it nonetheless.

“Zach, it’s me. Tabitha.”

Silence. Yet I can’t help but think he’s listening.

“Everyone’s worried about you. I’m worried about you.”

Silence.

“If this is about Saturday, I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I know I should have told you but I knew… I knew you’d hate me.” I laugh. “More than you already did, more than you already do.” I sigh. “Could you just let me in? We need to know you’re okay.”

Silence.

“Zach, I swear to fucking god that if you don’t open this door then I’m going to get D to break it the fuck down,” Titch barks, clearly losing patience with his best friend’s antics.

“Do what the fuck you like, I don’t give a shit.”

“Now we’re getting somewhere,” Titch says so only I can hear.

“Haven’t you got a spare key or something?”

“Yeah, but he’s double locked it from the inside. It does fuck all.”

I try begging for a few more minutes, but it’s pointless. He’s not going to open the door for me or anyone.

“Go and get D,” I demand loud enough for Zach to hear, getting more and more concerned the longer I stand here. The few words he has said don’t sound anything like him. I’m not leaving this place until I see him, and I don’t give a shit if that means we take this door off.

“Don’t say we didn’t fucking warn you,” Titch bellows, thundering down the stairs to get reinforcements.

The second he’s gone, I hear movement. “Zach, it’s just me. Please, open the door. Let me see you. Let me touch you,” I add, trying for a different angle.

The click of a lock turning is so loud in the empty space around me that it makes me jump. Seconds later, the door cracks open. He pulls it just wide enough for me to slip inside before slamming it shut once again.

The flat is in darkness with only a small side light on in the corner, but that’s not the most noticeable thing. The entire place is trashed.

“Fuck, Zach. What’s—” My words falter when I get a look at him. “Fuck.” He’s wearing only a pair of grey joggers, his sculpted chest and abs on full display, but I don’t pay attention like I usually would because it’s his eyes that draw me in. The usually glistening blue is hard and cold. Deep frown lines mar his forehead. His hair is a mess like he’s spent the past week running his fingers through it, and he’s grown almost a full on beard. My eyes flick over the rest of him before stopping on his bruised and bloodstained knuckles.

Reaching out, I take one of his hands into mine inspect the damage. His breath catches at my contact, and I look back up to his sad face.

I take a step forward until his body heat hits mine and run my palm up his chest until it comes to a rest, cupping his cheek. He leans into my touch, and it’s in that moment that I know I’ve got him.

Our eyes hold, his breaths increasing with just our innocent contact. In that moment, I can’t help feeling like I’m his lifeline. It’s a heady feeling, knowing that I can have such an effect on such an enigma.

He stiffens at the sound of footsteps heading up the stairs. “It’s okay,” I whisper, afraid that he’s going to freak out and kick me back out.

“Tabitha?” Titch calls.

“It’s okay. I’m inside. Go back to work. I’ve got this.”

“You sure?”

“More than sure. I’ll let you know if we need anything.”

He still stands frozen to the spot until the sound of the door shutting to the studio downstairs echoes around us. Then it all happens at once. His hands land on my waist, his lips press to mine, and I’m guided back until he finds a surface to press me up against.

His hands are everywhere as if he can’t get enough of me as his mouth desperately assaults mine. His tongue pushes past my lips, searching mine, and I hungrily suck it deeper, craving his taste, his touch, just as much as he is mine.

I’ve no clue what’s happened to put that look on his face, but I already know that I’ll do whatever it takes to help wipe it away.

“Tabby Cat,” he groans, almost in amazement as he brushes kisses across my jaw.

“I’m here. I’m here,” I repeat, lightly grazing my nails up and down his back so he feels me.

“I need you. I need you so fucking bad.” The honesty in his tone knocks the wind out of me.

“I’m here. Take what you need.” I’m not sure I’ve ever said more honest words. Anything I can do right now to make whatever is eating him better, I will.

“Fuck. I don’t deserve this… you.”

“I’m here. Stop questioning it.”

He pulls back and looks into my eyes for a beat. For a second, I think he’s going to pull away, but then he blinks and I get a look at the Zach I know, the Zach I’ve fallen too hard for despite everything. His eyes alight with excitement and a cocky smirk pulls at his lips.

“Fuck,” he grunts before his lips find mine once again. His tongue plunges into my mouth and he kisses me like it’s our first. Like he’s exploring me for the first time, and I lap it up.

His hand finds its way under the hem of my oversized hoodie and he groans in delight when he finds I’m only wearing a thin crop top beneath. His fingers dive under the elastic band, and in seconds he’s cupping my breast in his palm.

A loud sigh falls from my lips before he pinches my nipple and a spark shoots down between my legs.

“God, I need to be inside you. I need to feel you against me, feel you coming around me.” His words are like fuel to my already out of control flames.

“Yes, yes.”

I pull my hand around from his back and find his hard length. I rub him over the fabric and delight in watching his eyes shutter with pleasure.

“It’s been too long since I’ve had you, Kitten. Too. Fucking. Long.”

His hand leaves my breast in favour of dropping lower. He makes quick work of pushing past my waistband, and before I get a chance to breathe, he’s parting me and dipping his fingers into my heat.

“So fucking wet. So fucking addictive.” He plunges two fingers deep inside me. He finds my g-spot almost instantly, and before I know what’s happening, he’s teasing me closer and closer to release.

“No,” he barks, startling me. And then his fingers are gone. “When you come, it’s around my cock.”

I nod eagerly, loving the image he paints.

“What are you waiting for?”

“For you to change your mind.”

His moment of honesty is like a bucket of cold water.

“W-what?” I look at him, really look at him. All his barriers are down. He’s standing before me, naked and scared as fuck. Scared to feel this thing between us. Scared to believe it’s real, that I can really be standing here giving him a lifeline while he’s going through whatever it is that’s happened in the last few days.

I close the space between us, lifting my hands to his rough cheeks, and stare into his eyes. “I’m not backing down if you don’t.”

“Fucking hell, Kitten. You fucking rip me wide open, you know that?”

I shake my head. “Show me.” I squeal when he reaches down, grabs my arse and lifts me.

His hand finds its way into my hair and he tips my head to expose my neck. He kisses, licks and sucks his way along the sensitive skin as he carries me toward his bedroom.

“Oh god,” I moan, his kiss alone building me back up. My hips thrust against him, trying to find some friction to ease the unbearable ache he’s causing.

Releasing my legs, he allows me to slide down his body. His hands run up from my hips, over my waist and brush over my breasts as he lifts my hoodie over my head and drops it to the floor. My crop top follows. No sooner has the fabric passed my breasts than his lips are wrapping around one of my nipples and sucking it deep into his mouth.

My head falls back as I focus on the feeling of his mouth and hands on me. It’s a feeling I’m never going to tire of, I already know that.

He releases my nipple with a pop before kissing down my stomach, curling his fingers in the waistband of my leggings and pulling them and my knickers down my thighs.

They’re still around my ankles when he gently pushes against my hips until I fall down to the bed behind me. He pulls the fabric free before parting my ankles as wide as they’ll go and licking up the length of me.

My hips buck from the bed as the sensation hits all my nerve endings. “Zach, fuck.”

My words of encouragement spur him on. Two fingers slip inside me as he ups the ante on my clit. My fingers delve into his hair and pull, keeping him exactly where he is.

He doesn’t let up until I’m about to fall over the edge, but unlike last time, I’m expecting him to pull away, and I can’t argue because if his reasoning for doing it before was true, then I’m about to get something even better.

He stands from between my thighs, wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and pushes his thumbs into the waistband of his joggers.

My eyes drop down and take in every line and indentation of his body before he drops the fabric and reveals his steel length. My mouth waters as I remember just how he tasted when he was deep inside my mouth. Right now, I might need him between my legs more than my next breath, but fuck if I don’t want to do that again.

“Fuck, you’re remembering what it was like to have me in your mouth, aren’t you?” My eyes fly up to his, shocked that my thoughts must be written all over my face.

My cheeks heating are my only response. He crawls onto the end of the bed, and I’m unable to do anything but watch as he settles between my thighs and takes himself in his hand.

The muscles in his neck strain as he works himself.

“Zach, please. Please, I need to feel you.”

His eyes darken at my demand. “Feel me where?”

“Inside me, stretching me, filling m—” I don’t get to finish because he thrusts forward, filling me to the hilt in one quick movement.

I cling onto his shoulders, my nails digging into his skin as he embarks on a punishing rhythm that has me soaring towards release in mere seconds.

His fingers dig into my hips and he thrusts into me again and again as he chases his demons away.

“Fuck, fuck, Tabby cat,” he groans. Sweat beads his brow as he releases one hand and presses his thumb to my clit. “Come,” he demands, and I can’t do anything but follow orders when he slams into me one more time.

I cry out his name as pleasure detonates within me and spreads all the way to my fingers and toes. He doesn’t let up his movement for a few more seconds, then his entire body stills before he growls out his release and his cock twitches violently inside me, filling me with everything he has.

He almost immediately falls down onto me and tucks his head into my shoulder. His breaths rush out against me making goosebumps prick my already heated skin.

With my hands trailing up and down his back, he stays there for the longest time. Having his weight on me feels incredible but as amazing as it might be, us lying here isn’t going to solve whatever it is that has him locked up in here while he takes his anger out on the furniture and his fists.

“Zach,” I whisper, not wanting to startle him in case he’s starting to drift, although from the amount he seems to have on his mind, I highly doubt it.

“Yeah, Kitten,” he whispers back, making me shudder with the soft way he says my nickname.

“You need to start talking.”

Unfortunately, he rolls off me. I miss his weight almost instantly when he falls onto his back and stares up at the ceiling. Not liking the distance he’s just put between us, I roll onto my side and rest myself on his chest. His eyes close as he accepts my support, and after a few seconds his arms come around me.

He takes a few deep breaths before his quiet voice fills the space around us. “You know that girl who came in for a tattoo a few weeks ago?” I open my mouth to get him to elaborate, but he beats me to it. “The one you had to ID to make sure she was old enough?” I nod, not wanting to distract him. “Well, she came back for her second session on Wednesday.”

I tense as I wait to hear what she’s got to do with this current situation. “She was even more nervous than the first time, which seemed really odd. She kept looking at me, like, really looking at me. It was weird.” My brow creases as I try to put two and two together and get nowhere. He can’t be telling me that she’s suddenly the love of his life, because I’m currently naked in his arms.

“Okay,” I say when he seems to come to a stop.

His body is once again tense as he recalls whatever happened. Lifting one of my hands, I start trailing my fingertips over the roses inked on his pecs in the hope it reminds him that I’m here and willing to listen to anything he needs to tell me.

“She’s my sister.” I suck in a breath, at first thinking that I’ve misheard him.

“She’s you…” I trail off, trying to figure it out.

“Head fuck, right?”

“Um… I don’t even know what to say.”

“No, nor did I. But as I looked at her, I just knew. There was something about her.”

“Okay so—”

“I called my dad. He confirmed it in not so many words. They’ve been lying to me my whole fucking life.” Every muscle in his body pulls tight at his admission. “I’ve always felt like the outsider, and now I know why. Whenever Harrison joked about me not being of the same blood, he was fucking right. I don’t even know what to think. I don’t know who the fuck I am right now.”

My heart bleeds for the lost look on his face. I know he feels unattached to his family at the best of times, being so different to them, but this has really knocked him for six.

“Zach,” I breathe, not knowing where to start to try to make him realise that none of what he’s just said effects who he is as a person. I lift my hand to his cheek and encourage him to look at me. His haunted eyes find mine and I suck in a breath, wishing I could fix this. “You are you. An incredibly talented artist, a pretty awesome businessman, a great friend—you know, based on the fact you have a lot of them,” I say with a laugh because it’s not like we’ve ever actually been friends. The smallest of smiles twitches at his lips, telling me that he understands. “You’re an arrogant prick who knows exactly where his skills lie and ensures that everyone knows exactly how good you are. You make women fall at your feet on a daily basis and have men looking at you wishing they had even half of your charm.”

His smirk grows the longer I talk. “Women fall at my feet. Is that right?”

“Oh come on, hotshot. You can’t tell me you’re oblivious to your charms.”

“I don’t remember you falling anywhere near me.”

“That’s because I’m different.”

“Oh yeah?” He reaches out and tucks a lock of hair behind my ear, and the gentle brush of his skin against mine has butterflies waking up in my belly.

“Yeah. I did the opposite. I said no. But look where I ended up anyway. Even though I hate you.”

His fingers trail down my neck and over my shoulder. Goosebumps follow their movement, my nipples pebbling against him.

“Hmmm… if I remember correctly, you admitted to falling out of hate with me the other night.”

“I was pretty drunk.”

“Is that right?”

“Yeah. I say all sorts of shit I don’t mean when I’m drunk.” I can’t fight the smile that wants to break, and the second it does, I’m glad because a genuine one lights up Zach’s face.

“Maybe I should remind you what made you say it.” He rolls me onto my back and captures my nipple in my mouth as his hard length presses against my thigh.

His fingers find me wet and willing once again, but instead of teasing me until I’m begging, he quickly moves so he’s once again at home between my legs. Only this time, once he starts kissing me, he never lets up. His hips move almost leisurely as he mimics the movement of his tongue. His fingers trail teasingly down my body. His actions are so tender that they make tears burn the back of my eyes. I keep them shut, thankful that he’s kissing me and unable to see the emotional wreck he’s turning me into.

He releases my lips in favour of my jaw and, when he gets to my ear, he whispers my name, followed by an admission that rocks me to my core. “I’m pretty sure I’ve fallen out of hate with you too.”