Hate You: Chapter 36

I think of the girl I’m driving toward and wonder what her life’s been like. I barely know her, but from seeing the darkness that haunted her eyes in the few hours we spent together, I already know that she didn’t grow up in a huge house in Kensington and spend her younger years at a private school.

My fingers white-knuckle the steering wheel as Tabitha’s hand squeezes my thigh in support. Something settles inside me knowing that she’s there. That she’s supporting me. I don’t deserve to have her by my side through all of this after everything I did to her. Her being here means everything and makes my chest ache in a totally different way, a way I’ve never experienced before and a way I don’t think I ever want to stop.

“Are you okay?” she asks softly from beside me as we sit in the London traffic.

“Yeah,” I say, and although I didn’t think I would be after what we’ve just experienced, I really think I am. “I’ve always known that I don’t fit. In a weird way, it’s almost a relief to know that I was right all these years.”

“You fit in just fine, Zach. You always have. Just because you like different things, it doesn’t mean you’re not part of your family.”

Silence falls around us once again as I mull her words over.

The atmosphere in the car changes the second Kas pulls the back door open and steps inside. She wasn’t expecting my call today. We’ve not spoken since she ran from the shop on Wednesday, making me wonder why she so easily accepted this invitation for an impromptu lunch.

Hardly any words are spoken as I drive us to a restaurant. It’s one my parents used to take us to as kids. It’s nothing fancy, but if Kas has had the kind of life I expect she might then I want to take her somewhere normal that brings me happy memories.

“Zach?” she asks as we leave the car behind and walk toward the restaurant.

“I’ll go and get us a table. You two take your time,” Tabitha says, taking another step from me, but I don’t allow her to go. Giving her arm a tug, I pull her back so I can drop a quick kiss to her lips.

“Thank you,” I murmur before releasing her and looking to my newly acquired sister.

We both watch Tabitha as she disappears into the front doors, the silence heavy around us.

“I’m sorry that I—”

“I spoke to my parents this morning. They told me everything,” I admit, cutting her off and turning towards her. She’s so short I almost feel like I’m talking to a child and have to remind myself that she’s an adult.

She nods in understanding. “How was that?”

“Painful. More so for my mum than anyone else, I think.”

“She must be an incredible woman.”

“Yeah.” A wide smile curls at my lips as I think about her and how strong she really is. “Yeah she is. You’ll love her.”

“I can’t wait to meet her… if she wants to, of course.”

“I’m sure she does.” I take a step toward the restaurant, but I suddenly stop. “Kas?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry about your mum.” She nods, accepting my words, but I don’t miss her eyes getting a little wet at the mention of her. “That must have been tough.”

“You don’t know the half of it,” she admits before sealing her lips like she’s said too much.

“Will you tell me about it, about her?”

“I will. Just… maybe not yet. Most of it isn’t pretty.”

“I feared as much.” She steps up to me, and I can’t help but rest my arm over her shoulders. I barely know her but I already feel a connection between the two of us. I felt it that first day she was in my studio, and it’s only growing now I know the truth. I love my family, more than I can describe, but with Kas here, I can’t help feeling like a few of my missing puzzle pieces have suddenly fallen into place. What with Tabitha as well, I almost feel like a whole person for the first time in my life. “Come on, let’s eat.”