Devious Vow: Chapter 24

Ten years ago:

This can’t be happening.

I wince as another cramp explodes low in my abdomen, making me choke out a cry of pain. I grip the rails of the hospital bed tightly, my knuckles white. It’s the physical pain, yes, that’s ripping me in two. But there’s a deeper, different type of pain that shreds my every emotion as tears bead at the corners of my eyes.

They told me it’s called an anembryonic pregnancy, or blighted ovum. It’s rare, but not unheard of, and it’s normally not that complicated, medically speaking. When it happens, it’s before you even realize you’re pregnant.

No. Shit.

I wince as another cramp tears through me.

Those movies or TV shows where some inexperienced girl gets pregnant her first time having sex?

Yeah, that’s me. I’m that girl you roll your eyes at. It’s me.

I was pregnant.

Emphasis on was.

And that’s a really weird feeling that I’m not quite sure how to process yet. Part of that is I’ve been too busy staying alive since it happened. I was in my dorm, getting ready for the dance, when the pain first hit. At first, I thought it was my period. But the blood just kept coming.

And coming.

And coming.

I dimly remember wadding a ton of paper towels into my underwear and staggering across campus, trying to call Camille on my phone as I stumbled into the medical center. They took one look at me, bundled me into an ambulance, and drove me here to Greenwich Hospital.

An anembryonic pregnancy usually isn’t that serious. But it is if you start to hemorrhage. The doctors told me it was a bad one, too, and that I was extremely lucky to have gotten here before I bled out.

No part of me feels lucky right now, though.

I’m glancing at my phone to see if Alistair has texted me back yet when the door to my room opens. I look up and smile as Camille walks in and comes to the side of my bed. For all of her crazy, and all her usual “me-me-me” routine, she’s been amazing since she first got here. She didn’t even bother to change out of the gorgeous emerald-green gown she had on for the dance when the hospital reached her and told her what was going on.

“Ice chips?”

She hands me a cup, and I smile weakly as I take it. “Merci bien.”

“Rien.”

I slip a silver of ice between my lips, grimacing as another cramp takes hold.

“Have you…”

She frowns. “Heard from him?” She shakes her head. “No. I’ve left a few messages, though. He hasn’t texted you back yet?”

I shake my head and unlock my phone. Then I peer more closely at the screen.

“That’s weird.”

“What?”

My brow furrows. “It says my texts haven’t even gone through to him. But I have service?”

When I look at my sister, her face falls.

“What?”

“Mine…oh, Eloise…”

“What is it?”

“My texts to him went through just fine.”

“I don’t understand. What are you saying?”

She takes my hand, her mouth twisting. “Honey, I think he blocked you.”

I wince, and this time, it’s not a cramp.

“Why would he…” I shake my head. “No. That’s not like him.”

She looks away.

“What,” I growl quietly.

“Nothing.”

“Camille, just say it.”

“Fine, I will. Because I love you,” she sighs. “This is like Alistair Black, Eloise. You’ve painted a version of him in your head that isn’t real. This is textbook Alistair. He’s an asshole.”

“Maybe he’s just confused why I stood him up?”

“You didn’t stand⁠—”

“Well, yeah, but he might think⁠—”

“He read my texts, Ellie,” she says quietly. “I explained exactly what happened.”

I swallow the lump in my throat.

“No, that’s… That doesn’t make sense.”

“Check your social media.”

My pulse thuds as I open Facebook on my phone.

Holy shit.

Blocked. It’s the same on Instagram and Twitter.

My hand trembles as I call Alistair’s number and bring my phone to my ear. It goes right to voicemail.

Oh my God.

“I…” I look wildly at my sister. “I don’t understand⁠—”

“Eloise.”

She smiles sadly at me as she takes my phone away and then holds my hand in hers.

“You don’t need me to say the obvious, do you?”

“I…”

“He got what he wanted, Ellie,” she says quietly.

“N-no,” I say, shaking my head, thinking back to that night. It wasn’t just my body I shared with him, it was so much more. And he shared things about himself—his vague memories of his biological parents. The accident that sent him to the Black family. He said he told me things he’d never told anyone before.

There is no way all of that was just to get laid.

Right?

Oh God…

“You didn’t want Alistair, Ellie. Not really. You wanted what you thought he could give you. But I promise you, if you’d stayed with him?” She shakes her head. “Trust me. I’ve known guys like him. He would have slowly dimmed your light. He would have cut you off from your friends, and from me. From your own sister!” She squeezes my hand. “You want my advice?”

I nod in a daze.

“Forget that asshole. Forget all about him. You’re better off without him in your life.” She smiles and squeezes my hand. “We both are.”

I manage to hold it together until she leaves to get a cup of coffee. Then it all comes crashing down in a smoking pile of tears, blood, and pain.

Present:

When it comes out, it’s like when a dam gives way and the floodgates rip off their hinges.

He tells me the full, awful story about what he saw when he came to my room that night. And when those pieces drop into place, and I realize who he saw that night, it’s like getting shot in the heart.

Camille.

You’re better off without him in your life, Eloise. We both are.

Alistair holds me as I scream into his chest, sobbing with pain and rage at everything that might have been, everything that was taken away from me.

From us.

When the fury is gone, and all that remains in me is sadness, he holds me in his arms on the floor as I cry into his chest and tell him about the miscarriage, and the hemorrhaging. His hands tighten on me and his own breath chokes with emotion when that part comes out.

“You tried to tell me…”

His voice is so broken when it rasps from his throat.

As if I could forget.

It was two weeks after the miscarriage. Two weeks of no contact with Alistair. Then finally, right before graduation, I saw him across campus, and I couldn’t stop myself.

I still don’t know why. It sure wasn’t about getting answers from him. Maybe I just needed him to know what I’d gone through.

I made it all the way over to him, and even managed to get out “I have to tell you something” before he stopped me with the words that will forever be etched on my soul.

“From the very bottom of my heart, Eloise. Go the fuck to hell, and don’t ever cross my path again.”

Then he was gone. And that was the last time we ever spoke.

“Jesus Christ,” he chokes out, holding me tighter.

“Alistair, you didn’t know. You still thought I’d⁠—”

“I could have listened,” he hisses. “I could have stopped, and shut my ego down and just. Fucking. Listened to you.”

Tears run hot down my cheeks.

“I thought you hated m⁠—”

“Eloise.”

He pulls back slightly, cupping my chin and lifting my face to his.

“That was the damn problem, princess,” he growls quietly. “You could have fucked every man on the planet, stabbed me in the heart, and stood over me laughing while I bled out, Eloise,” he murmurs, holding my face in his hands. “And my problem would have always been the same damn thing.”

I’m crying as I bite my lip. “Which is what?”

“That as hard as I try, I love you too fucking much to hate you at all.”

The breath leaves my body.

My world goes still.

“I’ve loved you for ten fucking years, Eloise. And the only way I could survive that was to convince myself that the love was hate.”

I don’t think. I don’t hesitate. I don’t let the chains of the past weigh me down or stop me.

“I love you.”

The words fly from my mouth right before I slam my lips to his. He growls into my kiss, making me moan, his tongue pushing past my lips to dance with mine.

The kiss is feverish and wild, a lifeline we’re both clinging to as the storm breaks over us. I whimper, kissing him harder and deeper as my hands shove desperately at his jacket. Suddenly I’m gasping when Alistair stands, still holding me in his arms, lifting me into his chest. I cling to him, kissing him wildly and feverishly as he carries me into his bedroom.

My back hits the bed. Alistair all but rips his clothes off, revealing his insane, muscled, tattooed body to my hungry gaze. Instantly, he’s all over me. His mouth devours my neck and my collarbone as he pushes the baggy t-shirt he’s loaned me up and over my head. My arms are still tangled up in it when he drops his mouth to my breasts, taking my breath away as he sucks, bites, and licks at my nipples until my back is arching off the bed and my body is on fire for him.

He moves down my body slowly, taking his time.

Drawing it out.

Making me ache for him as his tongue and lips tease over every single inch of me. My nipples pebble under his touch, my stomach caving and my breath catching as he licks and sucks his way down.

He peels the oversized sweatpants down, his tongue following in their wake, tracing a lazy wet trail down the groove of my hip. His mouth teases right past my pussy, making me groan in frustration as his hot breath tingles over my slick lips.

“Alistair…” I whine, lifting my hips desperately toward his mouth.

“Greedy girls get made to wait,” he growls against my inner thigh. “But good girls get what they want.” His eyes drag up my body to lock with mine, his mouth hovering an inch from my aching, throbbing clit.

“Are you going to be a good girl for me?”

Sweet merciful God.

I’ll be whatever the hell he wants me to be right now for just one second of that tongue touching me where I so desperately need it.

“Yes…” I whimper, my teeth raking over my bottom lip. “Yes, sir…”

The electric fire that ignites in his eyes is just this side of terrifying. But suddenly, he’s yanking the sweatpants off me, pushing my legs up, and dropping his mouth between my thighs.

“Oh my fucking God…”

I choke out a whine of pleasure as his tongue slowly drags up between my lips. The tip rolls sensually over my clit, making me cry out before he teases lower again. He does it again and again, dragging his tongue slowly up and down, just barely teasing my throbbing clit on the upstroke.

He dips his head, pushing his tongue deep into me as I cry out. My hands slide into his hair as I shamelessly push my hips against him. His tongue fucks into me, forcing the breath from my lungs and the pleasure from my mouth as I cry out for more.

Alistair’s mouth drags up, his lips sucking around my clit as his tongue swirls over it. My moans fill the bedroom as the world around me blurs at the edges.

“Alistair,” I moan, my hips lifting into his mouth harder and harder. “Oh God, oh God…”

“Are you going to be a good girl and come for me?” he growls into my clit as I teeter on the brink of sanity.

“Yes!”

“Try again,” he murmurs, backing off a little and letting the tip of his tongue trace lazy circles around my clit as I hover milliseconds from my release.

“Please let me come, sir!”

“Good girl.”

His lips seal around my clit, sucking as his tongue bats relentlessly across it. His fingers sink into me, curling against my g-spot, and it’s impossible to hold out another second.

Everything blurs and streaks as I scream my release, writhing and shuddering under his perfect mouth as I come hard against his tongue. He keeps going, swirling and teasing his tongue around my clit until I’m seeing stars and gasping for air.

Then he’s sliding up between my thighs, spreading them to either side of his grooved, muscled hips, and centering his huge cock against my slick, eager opening. His mouth crushes to mine, and I moan when I taste myself on his lips.

“You were always mine.”

He sinks every thick, gorgeous inch of his fat cock deep inside of me in one stroke. My head drops back, my eyes wide as I scream a silent cry of ecstasy. Alistair’s mouth descends to my neck, biting and sucking the soft skin. His hips roll, sliding his thick cock almost all the way out of me before thrusting back in and filling me again.

My legs wrap around his waist, my ankles locking as my nails drag down his back. His lips slam to mine again, sucking my tongue into his mouth as he fucks into me over and over.

“Harder,” I choke.

He growls a deep, throaty groan that drives me wild, and his cock pulses as he starts to ram into me.

“Harder,” I moan.

“You want me to fuck you like the bad girl you are, princess?” he rasps.

I whimper, nodding desperately. Suddenly, he’s pulling out of me, and I gasp as he flips me onto my stomach. He yanks my hips high in the air, making me yelp as he spanks my ass hard. Without warning, he’s spanking me again, pressing the swollen head of his cock against my slick pussy, and plunging in until he’s balls-deep.

“Oh fuck!”

My eyes bulge, my mouth going slack against the bed as he fucks me like a machine. His palm slaps hard against my ass, making me squeal in pleasure. He grabs my hair in his fist, tugging hard as he spanks me again and fucks the living hell out of me.

When I come, it’s a ten megaton explosion. I scream my release into the sheets, twisting and writhing. Alistair keeps fucking me, utterly dominating me. He yanks my head up by the hair, pulling me up until my back is pressed hotly against his chest. His hips pump into me, his teeth nipping at my neck. I feel his hand snake between us, and when his thumb presses against my asshole, I let out a guttural moan.

“There’s a good little dirty girl,” he snarls into my ear as his thumb slips past my tight ring. I moan, shuddering and shaking, my core clenching and spasming wildly as his cock and his thumb fill me to my limit.

“Alistair…”

“Let me feel it, princess,” he growls thickly, his hips rocking hard against me, his abs slapping my ass as he fucks me. “Let me feel that messy little cunt come all over my thick cock. Let me feel you drench my fucking balls like my good girl.”

Oh God.

His hand slides up my body, pinching and twisting my nipples before his fingers wrap around my throat.

“Come for me, Eloise,” he rasps in my ear. “Right now. Right. Fucking. Now. Come for me like a good girl.”

Trigger: pulled.

My entire body spasms and wrenches as tip over into the abyss. I scream as he rams into me, holding himself still as I come so fucking hard on his cock. He swells inside me as he twists my head around, crushes his lips to mine, and groans into my mouth. Then he starts to explode with me.

I moan as his hot cum spills deep inside, his dick spasming and pulsing as my pussy explodes around him.

Then I collapse onto the bed, with him still holding me in his arms, still deep inside me.

A little later, I’m lying with my head on his chest, lazily tracing my fingertip over his tattoos. I glance up, grinning and blushing when his piercing blue eyes lock with mine, his hand gently pushing a lock of hair back from my face.

“Tell me something no one knows about you.”

I grin.

“We’re back to that?”

“Seems appropriate.”

I giggle, my face glowing hot, remembering playing this on that night in the elevator, in between fucking each other’s brains out.

One thing above all else springs to mind. Something he should know. Something I’ve never told him, or anyone.

For a second, I almost squash it back down. It doesn’t need to be said. He doesn’t need to know. It will only further complicate an already complicated⁠—

“Stop overanalyzing and just spit it out,” he growls with a knowing grin.

Fuck it.

“Fine.” I take a deep, shaky breath.

“Eloise, whatever it is, you know you can tell⁠—”

“You’re the only one I’ve ever done that with.”

The bedroom goes silent as he peers at me. “Done what with,” he murmurs quietly.

I swallow nervously. “What…” I look away.

“Eloise…”

“What we just, you know, did.” I take another shaky breath and drag my gaze back to his. “You’re the only person I’ve ever slept with.”

He blinks. “I—” he frowns. “Come on, Eloise⁠—”

“I’m serious.”

He stares at me as my heart pounds.

“Our night in the elevator,” he murmurs quietly.

“Was my first time.” My lips twist as I blush. “Well, times.”

Alistair’s brows furrow. “But since then…”

I shake my head.

“That was ten years⁠—”

“There hasn’t been anyone since,” I whisper. “I was…” I look away. “Scared, because of what happened in the hospital. And just…”

“Hurt,” he finishes. “Fuck…because I hurt you.”

I wipe a tear away, cupping his face in my hands as I press my forehead to his. “We hurt each other.”

“Yeah… Let’s not do that anymore.”

I choke a laugh through my tears as I kiss him softly.

“Maybe you could just love me?”

“That I can do.”