Truant - Jay

The corridor felt unusually long as I made my way toward the lunch hall. The steady rhythm of my shoes echoed faintly against the polished floor, the sound almost too loud in the quiet stretch between classes. It was as if the walls themselves were closing in, making the hallway feel narrower than usual, even though it was the same as always. I glanced around, but there were no familiar faces in sight. Only the distant murmur of voices. My stomach twisted with hunger, a low growl reminding me that it was well past time for lunch. But there was something else in the pit of my stomach—something far less comforting. A restless flutter, an anxious energy that buzzed beneath the surface, gnawing at my thoughts.

I couldn't help but think about Sam. I knew we couldn't do anything under the watchful eyes of everyone around us, but just being near him, sitting in the same room during math class, would be enough for me. Every time I saw him, even just a glance, something in me shifted. The tension in the air would become something lighter, something easier to breathe. It was a kind of peace I hadn't known I was missing, and as I turned the corner into the cafeteria hall, I found my thoughts wandering, wondering when we could next meet up outside of school. What could we do without all the eyes on us? Without the pressure of everyone else's expectations? A part of me wanted to find out, to see what would happen if we spent time away from prying eyes. But those thoughts were fleeting, swallowed up by the sudden realization that I hadn't even noticed Kyle and Ben until they were right in front of me.

"Hey, look who it is," Kyle sneered, stepping directly into my path, his posture cocky, confident—like he already knew how this would play out. His expression was smug, a look that always made my stomach turn, because I knew it was never a good sign. Ben, as always, leaned casually against the wall, arms crossed, his own smirk a mirror of Kyle's, both of them practically daring me to say something, anything.

I stopped short, taken aback. There was something about the way Kyle blocked my path that made me tense, like a predator closing in on its prey. I gripped the strap of my bag tighter, trying to calm the unease that was beginning to rise in me. "What do you want?" I muttered, though the words felt like they barely escaped my throat. The air seemed to thicken around us, and I wasn't sure if it was because of the two of them, or because of the buzz in my chest—the anticipation of something bad about to happen.

"Got somewhere to be, Jay?" Ben asked mockingly, the words dripping with that same tone of superiority that always followed them. He pushed off the wall, slowly uncrossing his arms, as if preparing for a fight, or something else entirely. The whole situation made me feel like I was trapped, like there was nowhere to go, nowhere to hide.

I swallowed hard, hoping to keep my voice steady. "Leave me alone."

"Oh, come on," Kyle said with a smirk, his tone turning more playful—at least on the surface. But I could see the glint in his eyes, the kind that said this wasn't just about teasing anymore. He was circling me now, stepping closer, and I instinctively took a step back, but he followed. "We're just trying to help. Thought you should know," he continued, his voice now turning syrupy sweet, like he was about to deliver some grand revelation. "Sam's seeing Sarah from the swim team now."

The words hit me like a punch to the gut. My vision blurred for a second, my chest tightening with shock and confusion. "What?" was all I could manage to say, my voice barely above a whisper.

"Yeah," Kyle said, his tone dripping with mock sympathy. "So you can stop trying to, you know, convert him or whatever it is you're doing. He's not into guys. He's into girls."

The words stung more than I wanted to admit, each one slipping into my skin like a cold knife. Ben chuckled darkly beside me, clearly enjoying the show. "You should take the hint, Jay. Leave him alone before you embarrass yourself even more."

My face burned, both from humiliation and from the anger bubbling up inside me. I could feel the heat of it spreading from my chest, making my fingers twitch with the urge to do something—anything—to shut them up. But I knew I couldn't. They were bigger, stronger, last thing I wanted was to make things worse, to give them something else to use against me.

Before I could say anything, the tension in the air shifted, and a new voice cut through the corridor.

"Hey!"

I turned in surprise to see Alex striding down the hallway toward us, his expression thunderous, like a storm cloud that had gathered too quickly to stop. He didn't hesitate for a second. Without a word, he pushed past me and planted himself firmly between me and the two assholes who had been tormenting me. His posture was like a shield, like he was daring Kyle and Ben to try something.

"Back off," Alex growled, his voice low and dangerous, and it sent a shiver down my spine, it was like I was reliving the previous months of bullying all over again.

Kyle raised his hands in mock surrender, but the grin never left his face. "Relax, man," he said, his voice dripping with feigned calm. "We're just talking."

"Yeah?" Alex's voice was sharper now, almost a snarl. He took a step closer, his eyes never leaving Kyle's. "Well, don't."

Kyle and Ben exchanged a glance, clearly trying to decide if it was worth pushing things further. But after a long, heavy silence, they muttered something under their breaths and walked away, their footsteps echoing down the hall like a retreat. I could feel my heart rate slowing, the pressure in my chest easing just a little, but it was far from over.

I didn't stick around to see what happened next. I could feel the anxiety still clinging to me, making my palms sweaty, and I just needed to get away. Without another word, I turned and bolted, my footsteps clattering down the hallway, too loud in the quiet after the confrontation. I didn't care where I was going, as long as it was away from them. Away from everything. There was only one place I could think of that might give me a little peace. The one place I knew I could hide from all the chaos, even if just for a little while.

The music block was quiet, as it always was during lunch. The silence was almost oppressive, save for the faint hum of an old radiator somewhere in the corner, its irregular rhythm filling the air like a distant heartbeat. It mingled with the soft, earthy scent of wood polish from the parquet flooring, a smell that always seemed to calm me, even in the midst of chaos. The walls, lined with worn posters of past school concerts and faded sheet music, were familiar, almost comforting. But today, everything felt different, somehow off-kilter.

This is where I used to hide when the bullying was at its worst, and now it was happening all over again, like I was thrown into the spotlight for hanging out with Sam, and now even that was all falling apart in front of me, he was now dating Sarah... Bens words rang in my ears 'no one will ever want you' the overpowering sound of those words were taking over my mind as it raced to find an answer

I slipped into one of the practice rooms, my footsteps muffled by the thick carpet as I dropped my bag onto an empty chair. I sank heavily onto the piano bench, my muscles tense from the confrontation earlier. The cold keys beneath my paws seemed to mock me, their silent presence making the tension in my chest grow. I'd planned to meet Sam in the lunch hall, to sit with him and try to talk, to be normal again. But now, I couldn't bear to face him to ask him if it were true.

Kyle's words echoed in my mind like a broken record. Was it true? Was Sam really seeing Sarah from the swim team? How could he? The idea made my stomach churn. Sam and I had shared something, something real, or at least I thought it was. And now it felt like all of it was being pulled out from under me, replaced by some rumour, some story that didn't make any sense. Had I been wrong all along? Was I just another experiment for Sam, like with Ben, something he could try and discard when I no longer fit into the neat box I was expected to live in?

I rested my paws on the piano keys but didn't press down, staring at the black-and-white rows in front of me, hoping that the simple symmetry of the instrument might calm my fraying thoughts. I willed myself to relax, to make sense of it all, but every time I tried, my mind just swirled back to the same question: Why? Why would he do this? Was I just some passing phase for him? The thought made my chest tighten painfully, but no matter how hard I tried to focus on something else, it wouldn't go away.

The door creaked open behind me its sound breaking into my chaotic thoughts, I turned, half-expecting to see a teacher coming to remind me that practice rooms were reserved for music lessons only, not personal reflection. But the figure in the doorway made my blood run cold. It wasn't a teacher at all—it was Ben. His tall frame filled the space of the doorway, his expression neutral, though there was something about the way he stood that immediately set my nerves on edge. I couldn't believe it. I had just been thinking about how much Ben had mistreated me, and now, here he was, standing right in front of me.

"What do you want?" I asked, my voice sharp, irritation flooding my veins. I could feel my fists clenching at my sides, ready to lash out if he tried anything. The last thing I needed was him showing up now, messing with my already fragile state of mind.

Ben stepped inside without waiting for an invitation, his posture as relaxed as ever, like he had all the time in the world. He closed the door behind him with a soft click, the sound making the room feel even smaller, more confined. "Relax," he said, his tone smooth and deceptively calm, like he was trying to convince me that this wasn't going to be a confrontation. "I just wanted to talk."

I stood quickly, putting some distance between us, but I kept the piano bench firmly between us, like a barrier I wasn't willing to cross. "We don't have anything to talk about," I snapped back, my eyes darting toward the door, wondering if I could just slip past him and leave. But it didn't matter. Ben was already blocking my exit.

"Oh, I think we do," he replied with that infuriating smirk, his eyes narrowing as he took a slow step closer. "What's with you and Sam?"

"That's none of your business," I said, my words coming out like a challenge, though I knew deep down that it didn't matter how much I tried to shut him out. Ben didn't care about boundaries, and he certainly didn't respect mine.

He just chuckled, stepping closer still, his gaze never leaving mine. "You know," he said, his voice lowering, a hint of something darker creeping in, "if you're looking for someone to kiss, you don't need to chase after him. I'm right here."

The air in the room felt suddenly thicker, suffocating, like I couldn't breathe properly. His words hung in the air like a stench, and for a moment, I was back in that place I never wanted to be again—back in those stolen, regrettable moments that I had tried so hard to forget. The touch, the heat, the way he had always made me feel like I was something to be used, something disposable.

"I'm not interested," I said firmly, my voice cold, though inside, I could feel my stomach lurch, a mix of anger and fear coursing through me.

Ben's grin widened, and he moved closer, his hand brushing against mine on the edge of the piano. I recoiled, instinctively pulling my hand away, like his touch was something poisonous. "Come on, Jay," he cooed, his voice too smooth, too rehearsed. "We used to have fun, didn't we?"

"No." I yanked my hand away with more force this time, my voice shaking—not with fear, but with the anger I could barely contain. "That was a mistake, and one I won't be making again. Leave me alone."

For a long, tense moment, he didn't move. His eyes searched mine, like he was trying to find something, some crack in my resolve. But whatever he was looking for, he didn't find it. After a long pause, he scoffed, shaking his head in mock disbelief. "Your loss," he muttered before backing away, his eyes still lingering on me like I was some kind of puzzle he hadn't quite solved.

As soon as the door clicked shut behind him, I grabbed my bag in a blur of motion, not even stopping to think about where I was going. I just needed to get out of there, away from the building, away from all of this. I didn't care that I was missing math class. I didn't care about anything at that moment. All I could think about was how college felt like it was spiralling out of control again. It was like when I first came out, all the attention, all the whispers, just because of my sexuality. I never asked for any of it. I didn't want it. And now, I couldn't cope with it anymore. It was all too much. I had to get away.

Without looking back, I pushed open the door and stepped into the hallway, my footsteps quick and erratic, the echoes of the music block fading behind me as I made my way out into the world. I just had to get out.

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The house was empty when I got home, a quiet solitude that only seemed to deepen the sense of isolation I'd been feeling all day. My mom and sister were both still out at work, leaving the house feeling too big, too quiet, and far too lonely. I locked myself in my room as soon as I walked in, needing to retreat from everything that had happened, from the confusion and the pain. I sank onto my bed, burying my face in my paws, trying to block out everything that felt wrong in my life. The weight of it all pressed down on me, and for the first time in a while, I let myself feel the ache.

It felt like everything was falling apart. Just when I thought I'd found a little bit of light, when I thought things with Sam might actually be different, it was all snatched away so abruptly. The rumour about Sarah hit me harder than I expected. Ben's words came flooding back: "No one wants you." It was a truth that stung in ways I hadn't realized it would. Was he right? Was I really just an afterthought in Sam's life?

The thought gnawed at me, eating away at whatever hope I'd managed to hold onto. The tears that threatened to fall weren't just from the confusion of the situation but from a deeper, older place. A place where I had convinced myself that maybe, just maybe, I was worthy of something more, but the truth seemed to prove otherwise. I couldn't help but wonder if I was just another mistake in the making.

The doorbell rang, cutting through my spiralling thoughts. I froze for a moment, unsure of what I'd even heard. It was too soon for Mom to be home, and I hadn't been expecting anyone. Frowning, I pushed myself off the bed and walked to the window, peering outside. My heart skipped a beat when I saw him—Sam—standing on the front step. His hands were shoved into his pockets, his posture a little too rigid, but there was something about him, something familiar, that made the breath catch in my throat.

I stood there for a few seconds, my mind racing, before I found my feet moving on their own. I hesitated briefly before going downstairs, my legs unsteady as I made my way to the door. When I opened it, I found Sam looking up at me, his face a mix of worry and relief.

"Sam?" My voice was quieter than I expected, the uncertainty I felt making my words sound almost fragile.

He looked up at me, his eyes filled with something I couldn't quite place. "Hey. You weren't in math, so I wanted to check if you were okay."

I stepped aside, silently inviting him in. The moment he crossed the threshold, I felt a warmth spread through me that I hadn't realized I'd been missing. "Come upstairs," I said, leading the way up to my room.

In my room, Sam's eyes wandered around, taking in the familiar posters, the pictures on my walls, and the orca plushie he'd won for me at the carnival. The memories associated with those things felt bittersweet now, and I couldn't help but wonder if they had all been a lie. Was everything I thought we had just another illusion?

I tried to smile at him, but it felt like my face didn't know how to do it anymore. "Sam... I need to ask you something," I said, my voice trembling with the weight of everything I was afraid to know.

Sam turned to me, his expression serious. "What is it?"

"Kyle and Ben," I began, my voice faltering as I struggled to get the words out. "They said you're seeing Sarah. Is that true?"

The words hung in the air, and Sam's face fell almost instantly. "No," he said quickly, shaking his head. "No, it's not true."

Relief rushed through me, but there was still a part of me that was sceptical, that was scared to trust him completely. "Then why would they say that?" I asked, trying to make sense of it all.

Sam sank down onto the edge of my bed, his shoulders slumping in defeat as he let out a deep breath. "Because I lied," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "I panicked, and it just came out. And now everyone thinks I'm dating her, and I don't know how to fix it."

My heart went out to him in that moment, and I felt a pang of understanding. "I mean, I didn't even say I was. It was more assumed, they thought i was seeing someone, I hesitated when I thought of you and then they asked for a name, they wouldn't let it drop, and it was the first name I thought of, and then..." His voice trailed off, and I could see the frustration and guilt written all over his face. "I wanted to tell them the truth, about us, but I couldn't. It's like I froze, and I couldn't."

Tears welled up in his eyes, and I sat down beside him, instinctively pulling him into a tight hug. I knew what it felt like to try to tell the truth and fail, to want to be open but feel like the words were trapped inside, refusing to come out. "It's okay," I whispered softly, holding him a little tighter. "We'll figure it out."

Sam clung to me, his voice trembling as he spoke again. "I wanted to tell them, though." His words were barely audible as he sniffled, his face buried in my shoulder.

"Maybe not the best people to tell first," I joked, trying to lighten the moment, and it worked—just a little. He smiled, albeit weakly, and I could tell he appreciated the effort.

"No," Sam laughed softly through his tears, "I may have told Alex about us, though. I didn't mean to, it just slipped out, and now... everything feels so real. Like it's all happening way too fast, and I don't know how to handle it."

I pulled back slightly, looking at him in shock. "Sam! You told Alex? My friend Alex?"

"Yeah," Sam laughed, his voice still a little shaky, but his eyes glinting with a mixture of amusement and embarrassment. "He was getting pissy about me spending so much time with you, and I just said, 'You're my boyfriend.' I've never seen him so shocked."

I blinked, my heart fluttering a little at his words, a mix of surprise and something else that made my chest tighten. "Alex won't tell anyone," I said firmly, my voice steady. "He's my friend, and he'll keep our secret if that's what you're worried about."

Sam nodded, wiping his eyes as he tried to compose himself. "I just... I hate lying. I hate feeling like this."

I leaned in, pressing my lips gently to his, trying to convey everything I couldn't put into words. "You don't have to face this alone," I whispered, my voice low and soothing. "I'm here for you."

"I know," he whispered back, his voice barely audible as he pulled away. "But I should go. My mom's going to have a fit about me skipping math to come here. Hopefully, I can talk to Mr. Moon before school ends and stop him from calling her."

He stood up, straightening himself out as he composed his thoughts, and we shared one last kiss before he left. I wasn't too worried about skipping Mr. Moon's class. Sure, my mom would have something to say about it, but I knew she'd understand eventually. At least I could tell her the truth.

As soon as Sam left, my phone buzzed in my pocket, a cheeky text from Alex flashing on the screen.

Alex: Anything you want to tell me, Jay?

I hesitated for a moment before more texts from Alex started flooding in, each one a little more persistent than the last.

Alex: Anything to do with Sam and maybe how he's your boyfriend and you haven't told me!!

I couldn't help but laugh out loud at his persistence, even though a part of me was still processing everything that had just happened. I quickly typed a response.

Me: Sam's my boyfriend.

Alex: Why am I always the last to know, and also... called it.

Me: When did you ever?? And actually, you're the first, so please don't tell the others. Sam is kind of going at his pace, and I want him to be ready. Today's been kind of crazy.

Alex: I'll say. Rumor is going mad about someone named Sarah. I mean, he could've come up with Jayden or Jayne. Boys got no creative streak!

Me: Stop it!

And for the first time all day, I felt a genuine smile spread across my face, saying it aloud to my friend Alex made it real, Sam was my boyfriend.