25.Evil

Joel.

''Is it true what I heard from school today?'' father asks.

Me and Avril are standing in front of him, in his studio.

I look up at him, unable to make eye contact.

Is he mad at us?

''Is it true?'' he asks again.

I swallow nervously and take a glance toward Avril standing by my side. She looks as nervous as I am.

I try to speak, but Avril beats me to it.

''Father, we only wanted to teach them a lesson, we didn't-''

''Well done.'' he interrupts her.

Well what?

Avril and I look at each other, both not trying to hide the surprise.

This moment feels unreal.

He said, well done right?  I didn't hear him wrong, did I?

Is my father praising me?

It's my second time having this warm nice feeling.

He praised me once when I hacked the Meyers.

Now, he did it again.

Do I need to be a bad person every time, so my father can be proud of me?

The worst thing is that I would do it again.

I would be a terrible person to have my father look at me like that again.

''You two proved to me that you are a Cullen.'' he says to both of us, ''And you Joel, proved me that you have no mercy for Olivia Meyer.''

My chest stings at the mention of her name.

''Hm, I'm actually surprised. I really thought you wouldn't do anything to her.'' he says and gives me a proud look.

The little child inside of me starts dancing and jumping around from the sight of that look.

''But.'' he says and gets up from his chair, ''I expect you to do more. The show you did today was just a child play.''

Of course, he expects more.

He always does.

''Actually I...'' I swallow nervously, ''Um...about the task you gave me-''

"Did you find anything?" he asks.

"Uh...well yes.'' Katrina did.

Avril gives me a question look and I give her the 'I'll tell you later' look.

I take my phone out of my pocket and start speaking, ''They are working on a project. A big one. Which takes all the company's finance and time. Their partnership is another big company from Russia. This project will give them a lot of income, but if something happens to it, they will lose a lot. If they lose this project, the company will be damaged pretty bad. That's why they are keeping it a secret.''

I show him my phone with the project's pictures and pictures of the other company.

He takes my phone and looks at it.

He nods and then looks at me with something in his eyes.

His eyes are shining when he looks at me.

Is that...a good thing?

I'm not used to it.

''So, I was thinking.'' I continue after he gives me my phone, ''That we could sabotage this project. Like mess up with its data and slow their work. By the time they figure that there has been an intruder the project will be already ruined. Their company's finance will be also damaged so they won't be able to redo the project. And also, they will be on debt with the Russian company.''

I came up with this plan myself.

Not Katrina.

She only found out about the project. Which was so well hidden. How did she manage to find out about it, blows my mind.

That girl is dangerous.

I look at my father and there is a light smile in his lips. Is he really seeing me as worthy now?

''Can you, do it?" he asks me.

"Yes.'' I say, ''I can hack it.''

"Surprise me Joel.'' he says and sits in his chair.

''Well, well, who knew that you are actually smart?" Avril says as soon as we were out of father's office.

"You underestimate me dear sister.'' I say and she rolls her eyes.

I wish I could speak with Luke.

He's still on detention.

The thought of my brother getting punished calms that little voice inside my head that tells me what I did to Olivia today is wrong.

''Joel?" Avril calls.

"Yeah?"

"Um...Olivia will be fine right?" she asks with an uncertain voice.

"I don't know.'' I sigh.

She was pretty bad when they found her.

Her face was pale, her lips had turned purple, and she was unconscious.

That imagine of her is not leaving my head no matter what I think.

But I don't regret it.

I'm a Cullen. She's my enemy.

And I hate her.

''You two did what?" Luke says raising from his bed.

It's midnight and me and Avril came in his room to tell him what happened at school.

He didn't take it that well.

''She deserved it.'' Avril says.

"What do you mean she deserved it, Avril? She's in the hospital! How can you do that?" he whisper-yells.

"It's her fault you're locked in here!'' Avril says.

''I can't believe it.'' Luke says putting his face between his hands.

''Come on, that was nothing-'' Avril starts.

"Nothing? You call that nothing? You humiliated a human being in front of all the school! You dropped noodles and vegetables on her head. You call that nothing?" he makes a disgusted face, ''And then you lock her out on the rooftop, in this cold. She could have frozen to death!'' he says and looks at me, ''What were you thinking Joel?"

I don't say anything.

I just stare at him.

''Did you do anything to Lucy too?" he asks.

"We just locked her in the library.'' Avril answers.

"Oh my God!'' he drops in his bed.

''We had to do it, Luke. You said you wouldn't stop us.'' Avril says.

"I said I wouldn't stop you, but this is too much. Why would you do those things?''

''We had to show them who the Cullens are.'' I speak.

He looks at me in disbelief.

''You two are just like father.'' he says.

His words hit me like cold water.

''Come on, Luke don't say that.'' I shake my head.

"No.'' he gets up, ''Right now, I'm hearing and looking at my father.''

"Luke.'' Avril calls, tears shining her green eyes.

''I can't look at you two right now.'' he says disgusted.

My chest is hurting.

Avril pushes at his chest.

''Listen here. You don't get to tell me that I look like my father when all I wanted to do was protect my brother okay? I'm protecting my reputation, I'm holding this heavy last name on my shoulder every damn day I get up and every damn night I go to sleep. I'm obeying the orders! All I want to have, is a normal family with a normal father. But I don't have that. So, I need to survive this shit. You can't be good if you are a Cullen, Luke. We are born to be evil, and we are taught to do evil things. I care about you, I care about this family. So, don't you dare tell me that I look like my father.'' tears are streaming down her face now.

Her words sting me like needles.

Because that's the truth.

Beautiful or not, that's the truth.

''You can always choose not to do those evil things.'' Luke says.

"Do we really have that choice, Luke?" I ask and sit down in his bed.

''Yes. We can choose not to obey his orders. We can choose not to be evil.'' he says.

''You have to obey his orders and you will. You know why?" Avril says, ''Because that look of pride, he gives you takes you to cloud nine.  Once you see that look you want more of it, so you learn to lick every single drop of it. You want to do more and more things so you can have another taste of it.''

''You desire his validation, too much.'' Luke says.

"Don't we all do?'' she says wiping her tears, ''Admit it Luke, you love that too.''

''I wouldn't love it if I got it from hurting others.'' he says and Avril laughs.

''I would go and smash Olivia's head if it meant that my father would hug me with pride in his eyes.'' she says.

''Stop it.'' Luke whispers.

"I would smash her head over and over again. And I wouldn't feel sorry at all.''

"Stop it, Avril.''

"Truth is bitter, isn't it?'' she says and wipes her tears.

''You're a Cullen, Luke. Cullens are evil. Admit it.'' she says.

"Get out.'' he whispers.

''Luke.'' I say.

"Get out. Both of you.'' he's struggling to breath.

''Are you serious right now? We are our siblings. They are our enemies, damn it!'' Avril curses.

"Please, get out.'' he whispers.

''Alright then.'' I tug Avril by her arm.

I know that he's mad and he doesn't mean it.

But it doesn't stop it from hurting.

''We did all of it for you.'' Avril says.

"I wish you didn't.'' he says and closes the door on our face.

The two of us stand in front of his door, not speaking.

''I'm not like him.'' Avril whispers after a while.

"I know you're not.'' I hug her.

I head toward my room with a heavy heart and with a blinding headache.

Staring at the ceiling in the dark an empty feeling envelopes me.

Luke's words are falling on my brain like bullets.

Am I really like me father?

Cruel and heartless.

I don't want to be like him.

Olivia comes in my mind, and I recall our day on my mind.

*Flashback.*

I turn away from Ben and shake my hand. I punched him hard, my knuckles have turned red.

Olivia is looking at me with fear in her eyes. Her eyes are wide open, and her lip is trembling.

She's not struggling to free herself anymore, she's just staring at me.

I walk closer to her, and I have to stop myself from hugging her and taking her out of here.

I can't do it.

She doesn't deserve it.

She deserves what I am going to do to her right now. Opening the water bottle I smirk at her and drip it all over her head.

She doesn't show any sign of emotion, just stares at me.

I smile at myself.

Always strong Olivia.

''Who the fuck do you think you are?" she says, and I smirk.

"Joel Cullen, nice to meet you.'' I show my hands at my trousers' pockets.

''Avril Cullen bitch.'' Avril says and grabs her hair attempting to cut it with scissors.

I stare at her in shock.

She wouldn't do it.

We didn't plan this.

''No! No, no, no. Not my hair.'' Olivia screams and I clench my jaw.

Hearing her scream does something to me.

I don't want to hear it.

It's like I want to protect her and make her stop screaming.

I don't like this.

Whatever is happening inside me, I don't like it.

Andy comes.

He's grabbing her face between his hands.

And she's crying.

Finally, Olivia Meyer is crying.

I thought this would satisfy me.

But it's making my heart clench even worse.

I don't like the way Andy is holding her face. I don't like it when he pushes her hair out of her face or when she cries in his chest.

I hate it.

Suddenly he's all over me and I can't control myself but punch him.

The fog grabs a hold of me and I'm not aware of my actions.

Avril's voice comes to my senses and the fog disappears.

Stop she tells me.

Just like that night.

''Stop Joel! You're killing him.''

I shake my head and back away from him.

Andy is at the floor and blood is dripping from his face.

Fuck.

I did it again.

I put my head between my hands and struggle to breath.

''Hey. It's okay.'' I hear Avril say.

''I did it again Avril. I nearly-''

"Shhh, you didn't do anything. He's okay. You didn't do anything to him.'' she says.

I look around and Olivia is gone.

''She probably must have gone to the girl's locker.'' Avril says. ''I'll take her there if you can't-''

"I'll do it.'' I say and walk away.

She's crying.

And I'm standing here looking at her, unable to do anything.

I have to continue the plan.

But I can't move.

She's sitting on a stool, hugging her knees to her chest.

She's leaning her head at the top of her knees and humming a song as tears drop from her eyes.

I think she's not even realizing that she's singing.

Her voice shakes as she continues humming.

It hurts.

Watching her like this it hurts.

I don't want it to hurt.

''You're a Cullen'' I hear father's voice ring on my ears.

I see that she has left her jacket at the corner of the stool and grab it.

This would make her follow me.

She did follow me.

A part of me wishes she didn't.

''Welcome, princess'' I say.

She looks at me scared and slowly walks backwards.

She's scared of me.

That's good.

But it doesn't feel good.

She looks at the door beside her and I smile.

Always the fighter.

I can even hear her thought.

''Don't you even think about it.'' I say and her eyes widen as she looks at me.

She's cold I realize.

All her body is trembling.

Her shirt is wet, and I don't want to think about how it hugs her body or the fact that it looks transparent now.

I go closer to her, and she gasps.

She asks me why I did this, but I can't tell her.

She knows nothing.

She doesn't know how much of a problem her actions cause.

And I hate her for that.

I walk away from her and close the door, locking it.

''Joel?" she calls and tries to open the door.

The way she calls my name makes me shiver.

''The war began, princess.''

She hits and hits the door, trying to open it.

But it's useless.

I look at her jacket in my hands and my face fells.

Shit.

I didn't give it to her.

She'll be way colder out there.

I curse myself.

''Joel?" she calls me in a quiet voice, and I don't make any sound.

She should have realized that I left.

I sit down on the ground and lean my back against the door as I listen to her calling for help.

Half of an hour has passed.

I can't hear her anymore.

Is she okay?

I hold my breath to hear her if she's breathing or not.

She is.

Thank goodness.

I can hear the chatter of her teeth.

She must be very cold.

But I can't get her out.

''You're a Cullen.'' the voice speaks again.

''Joel...'' I hear her whimper my name and my breath catches my throat.

My heartbeat quickens as I stay in silence to hear her voice again.

''It's too...'' she whispers, ''Cold...''

My heart is screaming to go to her.

But my brain is stopping me.

''You're a Cullen.''

''A Cullen isn't weak.'' the voice yells.

She's not speaking anymore.

I'm not even hearing her tremble anymore.

I hold my breath to listen to hers.

One minute.

Two minutes pass.

Is she breathing?

Panic grabs a hold of me.

''Princess?" I call her.

No answer.

''Olivia?" I call again, my voice panicked.

Still no answer.

''Fuck.'' I say and get up.

I get off the stairs and approach Avril.

''Where were you?" she asks, ''Did you do it?"

"Avril, she's not breathing.'' I hear myself say and her eyes widen.

Why the fuck am I worried?

I did it.

I did this to her. I shouldn't feel like this.

''Where's Olivia?" Lucy yells at us.

It's been almost one hour, she remembered her sister now?

''How are we supposed to know?" Avril scoffs.

"Listen here-'' Lucy glares but I interrupt her.

"I think she went toward the rooftop, but I don't-'' she goes running without letting me finish my sentence.

They took Olivia away on an ambulance.

She wasn't looking okay. Her face was pale, and her lips were purple.

''Don't you dare feel sorry for her.'' Avril says,

"I'm not.'' I clench my jaw.

*End of flashback*

I go to the bathroom and spray cold water at my face. I can't get the look of her face out of my head.

Taking my phone out, I go to Instagram to keep myself distracted.

Andy has posted a video.

I open it out of boredom, and I froze. It's a video of Olivia lying in the hospital's bed.

She looks okay, beautiful even.

Balloons are all over her bed.

There is a pink one who reads princess with gold letters.

''The unbreakable princess.'' Andy calls.

"Don't call me that.'' she says angry.

My skin prickles.

"Don't call you what? Princess? You got a balloon here with that word.'' he says showing her the balloon.

"Get it out of my face.'' she snaps.

"Okayy.'' he says and then shows the camera at himself. ''Princess is on a bad mood.''

"Andy!'

"Eat the strawberries, princess.'' he teases, and she throws him a pillow.

"Ouch!'' the video ends.

I turn off my phone and land on my bed with a heavy sigh.