42. Afraid

Olivia

''I'm sure he's fine. Maybe dad said that only to scare Adam Cullen.'' Lucy says as we enter the school's parking lot.

''I hope so.'' I say and get out of the car.

Joel didn't answer any of my texts and calls last night, and he didn't call me afterwards.

I slept with my phone at my hands and dry tears on my face. When I woke up, my head felt heavy, and I had an uneasy feeling on my chest. That feeling is growing more as I don't spot Joel anywhere in the school.

I run to the place where he usually parks his car and stumble on my feet when I find it empty.

His car isn't here. I swallow and search around the parking lot. Neither Joel's nor Luke's car is here.

I stand in the middle of the lot, with my heart at my hands and a heavy feeling on my chest. It feels like the whole world is falling on top of me.

What if something had happened to him?

''They're just late.'' Lucy taps my shoulder.

''What if they aren't?" I look at her.

''Don't think ridiculously, let's head inside.'' she tugs me forward.

"Lucy, if something happens to them it would be all my fault.'' I swallow, ''It's my fault if something happens to Joel.''

One month ago Olivia would laugh if she saw me right now. One month ago me wouldn't even care what happened to the Cullens, let alone to Joel.  That Olivia wouldn't believe that she'll feel something for Joel that is not hate. She wouldn't believe how consuming that feeling would be.

Is weird how fast the time changes, and the people change faster.

When the hell did I fall for Joel Cullen?

I will never ever judge the quote; love comes in an unexpected way, again.

Lucy grabs my face between her hands and forces me to look at her, ''Nothing happened to them, you hear me. Stop worrying. They will walk in this school unharmed with their head held high like they always do. Okay?'' she says, and I nod.

''Let's go.''

It's been fifteen minutes, and they aren't here yet.  My anxiety grows with each minute passing.

''It's been fifteen minutes since you keep staring at the phone, Olivia, stop.'' Lucy says.

I hold the phone in front of me and bite my nails as my leg shakes under the table.

The clock on my phone says 08:20. Twenty minutes have passed.

My skin crawls.

''Lucy.'' I breath, ''Dad did something to him. They are never late; this is not a good sign.''

''Stop thinking that.'' she says concern flashing on her features.

''I... Lucy I can't bear the thought of him getting hurt.'' I struggle to breath, ''I can't bear it if he gets hurt because of me.''

''It's not your fault, Olivia.'' she says.

But it is. It is my fault. Dad wouldn't do it if I stayed away from him. If I didn't go and do that stupid bet, my dad wouldn't threat Adam Cullen with Joel's life. It's all my fault.

''I have to call dad, maybe he-'' my sentence is left midair when I see the Cullens come in the cafeteria.

I let out a breath when I see Joel completely unharmed. He's still as beautiful and hot as before and he still walks in the confident charming way.

I get up from my seat and run in his direction. He looks at me confused and I jump in his arms, hugging him tightly. His arms immediately wrap around my waist, pulling me closer. I wrap my arms around his neck and push my face against his shoulder, breathing his scent.

My breathing returns to normal as I hug him closely and that ache on my chest calms.

He's safe. He's here with me and fully safe.

Minutes pass, then I remember that I'm hugging Joel Cullen in front of the school and pull away from him slowly. My heart begs me not to, but I still do. I unwrap my arms from his neck, and he lets go of my waist.

Luke and Avril look at me as I have grown two heads and I struggle to remain eye contact with Joel as he watches me in confusion.

''What was that for?'' he asks looking around.

''Sorry, I mistook you for someone else.'' I lie not looking at him.

I think I'm going to cry from relief.

''What do you mean you mistook me for someone else?'' Joel narrows his eyes at me.

''I...uh.'' I struggle to speak as tears burn my eyes. ''I just...''

''Are you okay?" Avril asks and I nod at her smiling, but a traitor tear falls.

Damn it, I tried so much to hold it!

Sometimes I envy the Cullens for their tough appearance, they can hold their emotions very well and act as if nothing had happened.

Joel brows furrow and I turn my head away not facing him.

''Come with me.'' he grabs my wrist and pulls me with him out of the cafeteria.

''Tell me what's wrong.'' he got us on an empty classroom far from the others. I take a look around and realize that we're in the science laboratory.

Joel looks at me with concern and I sit down on the floor. I try to stop the tears from falling but I can't, I can't, and I hate myself for it. The fear I felt for him and the betrayal from my father are too hard to endure. I'm realizing that I couldn't survive if something happened to him.

''Hey.'' he comes in front of me and pulls my face between his hands, his movements so gentle.

''What is it?" he brushes my tears from my cheeks with a light touch that I barely feel it.

Then he kisses my cheek close to my mouth. It's such a light kiss, like a feather and I shiver at the contact.

He brushes my hair from my face and then kisses my eyes.

''You can tell me.'' he places a kiss on my forehead. He looks at my eyes and I look at him unblinking, my mind blank. His gentleness is making my brain freeze. He draws circles on my cheeks with his thumb as he holds my face between is hands.

He looks at me in question and I swallow.

''I...'' I try to speak. But how could I tell him that my father threated his father with his life?

Will he be mad? Oh God, what if he starts to hate me again because of that? I don't want him to hate me. I can't bear it.

''Tell me princess, what's bothering you?'' he asks with a gentle voice that breaks my heart.

''I'm afraid you'll hate me again if I tell you.'' I say as other tears run down my face.

He wipes the tears with his thumb.

''I would never hate you.'' he says and kisses my right cheek. Then he trails soft kisses on my other cheek, on my forehead, on the space between my eyebrows, on my nose and on my lips.

His kisses are so soft and comforting, like the blankets on the morning on a rainy day.

''You promise?" I say and he smiles.

''I promise.'' he kisses my lips again.

''Last night I heard my father talk to your father.'' I say and his brows furrow, ''he said that he warned your father to keep you away from me and now he has to pay for it. Then... then he said a death for a death. I got so scared that he'd kill you and then I called you. I called you and texted you, but you didn't answer. I came to school hoping that I'll see you here, but you weren't here. And I felt...that feeling was so suffocating. I thought something happened to you and-'' he hugs me then and I wrap my arms around him tightly.

''I'm sorry.'' he whispers against my hair.

''Were you mad at me?'' I ask and he pulls away to look at me.

''Why would I be mad at you?" he asks.

''Because of that little fight we had yesterday.'' I say and he shakes his head.

''I wouldn't be mad at you even if I wanted to. I can't be mad at you, princess.'' he says and kisses my forehead.

''Then why didn't you answer my calls?" I ask.

He pulls away from me and sits beside me, leaning his back on the wall.

''My father has my phone.'' my brows furrow.

''Why would he have your phone?" I ask and he takes a deep breath.

''I... Olivia, the Cullen family isn't what you think it is.'' he says, and I look at him in confusion.

''I can't tell you all...  maybe I will someday, but for now this is all I can tell you.'' he starts, ''My father found out about you and me- if there's something between us, and he was mad.''  he sighs. The way he says 'mad' is scary. It leads me to think that when his father is mad bad things happen.

''What happened then?" I whisper.

''He just said the usual things he says to me every time.'' he gives me a sad smile and my heart breaks. What are those usual things his father says to him?

''Then he took my phone and I had to go to my room.'' he says, ''I wasn't allowed to go to school, including Luke and Avril. But Luke talked to him in the morning, and he agreed to take us here by himself, that's why we were late.''

''Maybe he was scared that my father would put his threat into action?'' I ask.

''I don't think so.'' he flashes me a sad smile.

''I'm sorry.'' I lean my head into his shoulder, ''All this happened because of me, it's my fault.''

''No, it's not.'' he kisses the top of my head.

''What's going on between our families?" I ask reminding 'a death for a death.'

''I don't know.'' Joel says, ''but we have to tell the others.''

⚛⚛⚛⚛

''Has any unexpected death occurred on your family?" Luke asks.

''No, not that we aware of.'' Lucy says.

The five of us are sitting on the cafeteria on the lunch break. I told Luke and Avril what my father said to theirs and now we're discussing the meaning of those words. Lucy sits on my left while Joel is on my right, he sits so close to me that our bodies are touching. I have to force my brain to stay focused on the conversation and not the contact between his skin and mine.

Avril and Luke are sat opposite us.

''Our grandparents from the mom side are alive, Grandma Salish from the dad's side is very alive, living her life on the Maldives.'' I say, ''Dad doesn't have any siblings, right?''

''No.'' Lucy says.

''What if he actually had?" Avril says. ''And the sibling died years ago before you were born.''

''No, I don't think so.'' Lucy says in unease. ''There is no other sibling on our family album. I don't believe our father would've kept it hidden''

''What about your dad's side grandfather?'' Luke asks, ''You didn't mention him.''

''Oh, Grandpa Jonathan. He died from a heart attack when I was like three.'' I say.

''Are you sure he died from a heart attack?'' Luke asks and my brows furrow.

''Yeah, I mean that's what our parents said.'' I say.

''Our parents say a lot of things.'' Joel speaks.

''So what are we trying to say here? That we're enemies because someone died?''Lucy asks.

''Could be.'' Luke shrugs.

''That's not possible.'' I shiver and Joel rubs my arm.

The possibility of a death hanging on the air and our families being enemies because of it sends a shiver down my spine.

I this true? Who died? And who's the killer?

''Your father said a death for a death, so it's definitely this.'' Avril says.

''But who died and who murdered him?" Joel asks.

''A death for a death.'' Luke thinks, ''Which means our side killed someone from the Meyers and now Christian wants revenge?"

That makes sense.

''But what if the Cullens killed someone and blamed it on us?" Lucy says. ''Because no one was killed on our family. So that sentence can be explained this way, a crime blamed on us.''

''So you're saying dad would kill one of the Cullens to take revenge on that?" I turn at Lucy.

''I don't think dad would do that Liv.'' she says.

''Jonathan Meyer.'' Luke speaks.

''What about him?" me and Lucy ask at the same time.

''Are you sure he died on a natural way?" he asks, and I look at Lucy.

I don't remember our grandfather at all, let alone his death.

''Yes, he had a heart condition, I remember him being at the hospital many times and he was at the hospital when the heart attack occurred. He died one month before my fifth birthday, in July.''  she says and Luke nods.

''Do we know for how many years our families are enemies?" Joel asks.

''No.'' we all answer looking at each other.

I have known the Cullens as my enemies for my whole life, but I don't know where the hate began. I don't even remember when I found out about the Cullens as our enemies, I didn't even know their faces since this September.

''This is weird.'' Luke rubs his forehead.

''Maybe they were enemies before we were born?" Avril says uncertain.

''It might be.'' Joel sighs.

''We should so some research, then.'' Lucy says.

''On what?" I ask.

''On how many years our families are enemies for and what that 'a death for a death' sentence means.'' she says.

''Yeah, we should do that on our family too and then compare our informations.'' Luke says.

''Okay all this is so weird.'' Avril leans back on the couch. ''We're teaming up with the enemy to find out why we're enemies.''

''We being enemies and not knowing why we're enemies is much weirder, Avril.'' Joel says.

He's right. We're enemies, but we don't know why we're enemies for.

Man, we have hated each other for no reason. Or is there a reason?

I feel like I'm having a brain stroke.

''I'm afraid that our families aren't what we think they are.'' Luke speaks, ''There is so much that we don't know.''

Author's note:

What do you guys think? Any thoughts on the big secret standing in the air below our character's heads?

Love you always,

G.T.Diola.