Bared to You: Chapter 20
Bared to You (Crossfire, Book 1)
Gideon arrived just as dinner was coming out of the oven. He had a garment bag in one hand and a laptop case in the other. Iâd worried that he would try to go home alone after his session with Dr. Petersen and was relieved when heâd called to say he was on his way. Still, when I first opened the door and saw him on the threshold, a shiver of unease slid through me.
âHey,â he said quietly, following me back into the kitchen. âSmells delicious in here.â
âI hope youâre hungry. Thereâs a lot of food and Iâll be surprised if Cary joins us to help eat it all.â
Gideon dropped his stuff on the breakfast bar and approached me cautiously, his gaze searching my face as he neared. âI brought some things with me to stay the night, but Iâll go if you want. At any time. Just tell me.â
I blew out my breath in a harsh rush, determined not to let fear dictate my actions. âI want you here.â
âI want to be here.â He paused beside me. âCan I hold you?â
I turned into him and squeezed him hard. âPlease.â
He pressed his cheek against mine and hugged me close. The embrace wasnât as natural and easy as weâd grown used to. There was a new wariness between us that was different from anything weâd felt before.
âHow are you doing?â he murmured.
âBetter now that youâre here.â
âBut still nervous.â He pressed his lips to my forehead. âMe, too. I donât know how weâre ever going to fall asleep next to each other again.â
Pulling back slightly, I looked at him. That was my fear as well, and my earlier conversation with Cary didnât help matters. Heâs a ticking time bombâ¦
âWeâll figure it out,â I said.
He was quiet for a long moment. âHas Nathan ever contacted you?â
âNo.â Although I had a deep-rooted fear that I might see him again one day, whether accidentally or deliberately. He was out there somewhere, breathing the same airâ¦âWhy?â
âIt was on my mind today.â
I pulled back to search his face, a knot forming in my throat at how tormented he looked. âWhy?â
âBecause weâve got a lot of baggage between us.â
âAre you thinking itâs too much?â
Gideon shook his head. âI canât think that way.â
I didnât know what to do or say. What assurances could I give him, when I wasnât sure my love and his need would be enough to make our relationship work?
âWhatâs going through your mind?â he asked.
âThoughts of food. Iâm starving. Why donât you go see if Cary wants to eat? Then we can get started on dinner.â
Gideon found Cary sleeping, so he and I ate a candlelit dinner for two at the dining table, a somewhat formal meal while lounging in the worn T-shirts and pajama bottoms weâd put on after our respective showers. I was worried about Cary, but spending quiet downtime alone with Gideon felt like just what we needed.
âI had lunch with Magdalene in my office yesterday,â he said after weâd enjoyed a few initial bites.
âOh?â While Iâd been ring shopping, Magdalene had been enjoying private time with my man?
âDonât take that tone,â he admonished. âShe ate a meal in an office covered in your flowers, with you blowing kisses from my desk. You were as much there as she was.â
âSorry. Knee-jerk reaction.â
He lifted my hand to his mouth and pressed a quick, hard kiss to the back. âIâm relieved you can still get jealous over me.â
I sighed. My emotions had been all over the map all day; I couldnât decide how I felt about anything. âDid you say anything to her about Christopher?â
âThat was the point of the lunch. I showed her the video.â
âWhat?â I frowned, remembering my phone had died in his car. âHowâd you do that?â
âI took your phone up to my office and pulled the video off via USB. Didnât you notice I brought it back last night, fully charged?â
âNo.â I set my silverware down. Dominant or not, Gideon and I were going to have to work on which lines crossed over into my freak-out zone. âYou canât just hack into my phone, Gideon.â
âI didnât hack into it. You havenât set a password yet.â
âThatâs not the point! Itâs a serious invasion of my fucking privacy. Jesusâ¦â Why in hell did no one in my life understand that I had boundaries? âWould you like me rummaging through your stuff?â
âIâve got nothing to hide.â He pulled his smartphone out of an inner pocket of his sweats and held it out to me. âAnd you wonât either.â
I didnât want to get into a fight now, things were too shaky as it was, but Iâd let this go long enough. âIt doesnât matter whether or not I have something I donât want you to see. I have a right to space and privacy, and you need to ask before you help yourself to my information and my belongings. You have to stop taking whatever you want without my permission.â
âWhat was private about it?â he asked with a frown. âYou showed it to me yourself.â
âDonât be like my mother, Gideon!â I shouted. âThereâs only so much crazy I can handle.â
He jerked back at my vehemence, clearly surprised by how upset I was. âOkay. Iâm sorry.â
I gulped down my wine, trying to rein in my temper and unease. âSorry Iâm mad? Or sorry you did it?â
After the length of several heartbeats, Gideon said, âIâm sorry youâre mad.â
He really didnât get it. âWhy donât you see how weird this is?â
âEva.â He sighed and shoved a hand through his hair. âI spend a quarter of every day inside you. When you set limits outside of that I canât help but see them as arbitrary.â
âWell, theyâre not. Theyâre important to me. If thereâs something you want to know, you need to ask me.â
âAll right.â
âDonât do it anymore,â I warned. âIâm not kidding, Gideon.â
His jaw tightened. âOkay. I get it.â
Then, because I really didnât want to fight, I moved on. âWhat did she say when she saw it?â
He visibly relaxed. âIt was difficult, of course. Even more difficult to know Iâd seen it.â
âShe saw us in the library.â
âWe didnât talk about that directly, but then, what was there to say? I wonât apologize for making love to my girlfriend in a closed room.â He leaned back in his chair and exhaled harshly. âSeeing Christopherâs face on the videoâseeing what he really thought of herâthat hurt her. Itâs hard to see yourself being used that way. Especially by someone you think you know, someone whoâs supposed to care about you.â
To hide my reaction, I busied myself with refilling both my glass and his. He spoke as if from experience. What exactly had been done to him?
After a quick gulp of wine, I asked, âHow are you doing with it?â
âWhat can I do? Over the years, Iâve made every attempt to talk to Christopher. Iâve tried throwing money at him. Iâve tried threatening him. Heâs never shown any inclination to change. I realized long ago that I can only do damage control. And keep you as far away from him as possible.â
âIâll be helping you with that, now that I know.â
âGood.â He took a drink, eyeing me over the lip of his glass. âYouâre not asking me about my appointment with Dr. Petersen.â
âItâs none of my business. Unless you want to share.â I met his gaze, willing him to do just that. âIâm here to listen whenever you need an ear, but Iâm not going to pry. When youâre ready to let me in, you will. That said, Iâd love to know if you like him.â
âSo far.â He smiled. âHe talks me around in circles. Not many people can do that.â
âYes. Talks you back around and makes you come at it from a different angle that has you thinking, âNow why didnât I see it like that?ââ
Gideonâs fingers stroked up and down the stem of his glass. âHe prescribed something for me to take at night before bed. I filled it before I came over.â
âHow do you feel about taking drugs?â
He looked at me with dark, haunted eyes. âI feel itâs necessary. I have to be with you and I have to make that safe for you, whatever it takes. Dr. Petersen says the drug combined with therapy has been successful for other âatypical sexual parasomniacs.â I have to believe that.â
I reached over to squeeze his hand. Taking medication was a big step, especially for someone whoâd avoided facing his problems for a long time. âThank you.â
Gideonâs grip tightened. âApparently there are enough people with this problem that there have been sleep studies on it. He told me about a documented case where a man sexually assaulted his wife in his sleep for twelve years before they sought help.â
âTwelve years? Jesus.â
âApparently part of the reason they waited so long was because the man was a better lay when he was asleep,â he said dryly. âAnd if thatâs not a killer blow to the ego, I donât know what is.â
I stared at him. âWell, shit.â
âI know, right?â His wry smile faded. âBut I donât want you to feel pressured to share a bed with me, Eva. There is no magic pill. I can sleep on the couch or I can go home, although of the two choices Iâd prefer the couch. My whole day is better after getting ready for work with you.â
âFor me, too.â
Reaching over, Gideon caught my hand and lifted it to his lips. âI never imagined I could have thisâ¦Someone in my life who knows what you do about me. Someone who could talk about my fuck-ups over dinner because they accept me anywayâ¦Iâm grateful for you, Eva.â
My heart twisted with a sweet pain in my chest. He could say such beautiful things, the perfect things.
âI feel the same way about you, ace.â Deeper, maybe, because I loved him. But I didnât say that aloud. Heâd get there someday. I wasnât going to give up until he was absolutely, irrevocably mine.
With his bare feet propped on the coffee table and his computer on his lap, Gideon looked so at home and relaxed that he kept distracting me from my television shows.
How did we get here? I asked myself. This extravagantly sexy man and me?
âYouâre staring,â he murmured, his gaze on his laptop screen.
I stuck my tongue out at him.
âIs that a sexual suggestion, Miss Tramell?â
âHow do you see me while staring at whatever youâre working on?â
He looked up then and caught my gaze. His blue eyes blazed with power and heat. âIâve always seen you, angel. From the moment you found me, Iâve seen nothing but you.â
Wednesday started with Gideonâs cock pushing into me from behind, my new favorite way to wake up.
âWell, then,â I said hoarsely, rubbing the sleep from my eyes as his arm hitched around my waist and hauled me closer to his warm, hard chest. âYouâre frisky this morning.â
âYouâre gorgeous and sexy every morning,â he murmured, nibbling on my shoulder. âI love waking up to you.â
We celebrated a night of uninterrupted sleep with a handful of orgasms between us.
Much later in the day, I had lunch with Mark and his partner Steven at a lovely Mexican restaurant tucked beneath the street. We descended a short set of cement stairs into a surprisingly spacious restaurant with black-vested waitstaff and plenty of light.
âYouâll need to bring your man back here,â Steven said, âand have him buy you one of the pomegranate margaritas.â
âGood stuff?â I asked.
âOh, yeah.â
When the waitress came to take our orders, she flirted outrageously with Mark, fluttering enviously long lashes. Mark flirted back. As the meal progressed, the exuberant redheadâwhose name tag introduced her as Shawnaâbecame bolder, touching Markâs shoulders and the back of his neck every time she came by. In return, Markâs banter became more suggestive, until I eyed Steven nervously, watching his face redden and his scowl deepen by the moment. Shifting uncomfortably, I was counting down the minutes until the tension-fraught meal was over.
âLetâs get together tonight,â Shawna said to Mark when she brought the check. âOne night with me and Iâll cure you.â
I gaped. Seriously?
âSeven oâclock work for you?â Mark purred. âIâll ruin you, Shawna. You know what happens once you go blackâ¦â
I inhaled my water down the wrong pipe and choked.
Steven leaped to his feet and rounded the table, pounding me on the back. âHell, Eva,â he said, laughing. âWeâre just playing with you. Donât die on us.â
âWhat?â I gasped, my eyes watering.
Grinning, he came around my shoulder and tossed his arm around the waitress. âEva, meet my sister, Shawna. Shawna, Eva here is the one who makes Markâs life easier.â
âThatâs good,â Shawna said, âsince heâs got you to make things harder.â
Steven winked at me. âThatâs why he keeps me around.â
Seeing the brother and sister pair so close together, I finally caught the resemblance Iâd missed before. I sagged into my seat and narrowed my eyes at Mark. âThat was rotten. I thought Steven was going to blow a gasket.â
Mark held up his hands in a show of surrender. âIt was all his idea. Heâs the drama queen, remember?â
Rocking back on his heels, Steven grinned and said, âNow, Eva. You know Markâs the idea man in this relationship.â
Shawna dug a business card out of her pocket and handed it to me. âMy numberâs on the flipside. Gimme a call. Iâve got the inside dirt on these two. You can pay âem back really good.â
âTraitor!â Steven accused.
âHey.â Shawna shrugged. âUs girls have to stick together.â
After work, Gideon and I went to his gym. Angus dropped us off at the curb and we headed inside. The place was hopping and the locker room crowded. I changed and stowed my stuff; then met Gideon in the hallway.
I waved at Daniel, the trainer whoâd talked to me on my first visit to CrossTrainer, and got a smack on the ass for it.
âHey,â I protested, swatting at Gideonâs chastising hand. âCut it out.â
He tugged my ponytail and gently urged my head back, tilting my mouth up so he could mark his territory with a deep, lush kiss.
The way he pulled my hair sent electricity sweeping across my skin. âIf this is your idea of a deterrent,â I whispered against his lips, âI have to say itâs much more of an incentive.â
âIâm quite willing to take it up a notch.â He nipped my lower lip with his teeth. âBut I wouldnât suggest testing my limits that way, Eva.â
âDonât worry. I have other ways to do it.â
Gideon hit the treadmill first, affording me the pleasure of seeing his body glistening with sweatâ¦in public. As often as I saw him that way in private, it never ceased to be a major turn-on.
And God, I loved the way he looked with his hair tied back. And the flex of his muscles beneath lightly tanned skin. And the graceful power of his movements. Seeing such an elegantly urbane man shed the suits and show off his animal side hit all my hot buttons.
I couldnât stop staring and was happy I didnât have to. He was mine, after all; a fact that sent warm pleasure sliding through me. Besides, every other woman in the gym was checking him out, too. As he moved from station to station, dozens of admiring eyes followed.
When he caught me ogling, I shot him a suggestive glance and ran my tongue along my lower lip. His arched brow and rueful half-smile made me tingly. I couldnât remember the last time Iâd been so motivated while working out. An hour and a half just flew by.
By the time we got back in the Bentley and headed to the penthouse, I was squirming in my seat. My gaze slid repeatedly to Gideon in silent invitation.
He linked his fingers with mine. âYouâll wait for it.â
That pronouncement startled me. âWhat?â
âYou heard me.â He kissed my fingers and had the nerve to give me a wicked smile. âDelayed gratification, angel.â
âWhy would we do that?â
âThink of how crazed weâll be for each other after dinner.â
I leaned closer so Angus didnât overhear me, although I knew he was professional enough to ignore us. âThatâs a given, waiting or not. I say we go with not.â
But he wouldnât budge. Instead, he tortured us both. Having us undress one another for a steamy shower, our hands petting and caressing the curves and hollows of each otherâs bodies; then dressing for dinner. He went all out in black tie, but skipped the tie. His crisp white shirt was unbuttoned at the collar, revealing a flash of skin. The cocktail dress he selected for me was a champagne silk Vera Wang with a strapless bustier bodice, an open back, and a tiered skirt that ended a few inches above my knees.
I smiled when I saw it, knowing it was going to drive him nuts seeing me in that dress all night. It was gorgeous and I loved it, but it was a style meant for tall, slender models, not short curvy girls. In a pitiful bid for modesty, I left my hair down to hang over my breasts, but it didnât help much if Gideonâs expression was any indication.
âMy God, Eva.â He adjusted himself in his slacks. âIâve changed my mind about that dress. You shouldnât wear it in public.â
âWe donât have time for you to change your mind.â
âI thought there was more material than that.â
I shrugged with a grin. âWhat can I say? You bought it.â
âIâm having second thoughts. How long could it possibly take to remove it?â
Sliding my tongue along my lower lip, I said, âI donât know. Why donât you find out?â
His eyes turned dark. âWeâd never get out of here.â
âI wouldnât complain.â He looked so damn hot and I wanted himâas alwaysâreally damned bad.
âIsnât there a jacket or something you can put over that? A parka, maybe? Or a trench coat?â
Laughing, I grabbed my clutch off the dresser and wrapped my arm around his. âDonât worry. Everyone will be too busy checking you out to even bother noticing me.â
He scowled as I tugged him out of the bedroom. âSeriously. Have your tits gotten bigger? Theyâre spilling out over the top of that thing.â
âIâm twenty-four years old, Gideon,â I said dryly. âI stopped developing years ago. What you see is what you get.â
âYes, but Iâm the only one whoâs supposed to be seeing, since Iâm the only one whoâs allowed to be getting.â
We moved into the living room. In the short time it took us to pass through to the foyer, I relished the quiet beauty of Gideonâs home. I loved how warm and inviting it was. The old world charm of the décor was so elegant, yet it was also remarkably comfortable. The stunning view out of the arched windows complemented the interior, but didnât distract from it.
The mixture of dark woods, distressed stone, warm colors, and vivid jeweled accents was clearly expensive, as was the art hung on the walls, but it was a tasteful display of wealth. I couldnât imagine anyone feeling awkward about what to touch or where to sit. It just wasnât that kind of space.
We caught the private elevator and Gideon faced me as the doors closed. He immediately tried tugging my bodice up.
âIf youâre not careful,â I warned, âyouâll expose my crotch instead.â
âDamn it.â
âWe could have fun with this. I could play the role of a bubbleheaded blond bimbo whoâs after your cock and your millions, and you can be yourselfâthe billionaire playboy with his latest toy. Just look bored and indulgent while I rub up against you and coo about how brilliant you are.â
âThatâs not funny.â Then he brightened. âWhat about a scarf?â
Once we checked in for the gala dinner benefitting a new crisis shelter for women and children, we were directed to a press gauntlet, triggering my fear of exposure. I focused on Gideon because nothing distracted me as thoroughly as he did. And because I was paying such close attention, I was able to watch the change from private man to public persona as it happened.
The mask slipped smoothly into place. His irises chilled to an icy blue and his sensual mouth lost any hint of curve. I could almost feel the force of his will enclosing us. There was a shield between us and the rest of the world simply because he wished it to be there. Standing beside him, I knew no one would approach or speak to me until he gave them some sign that they could.
Still, the donât-touch vibe didnât extend to looking. Gideon turned heads as we walked to the ballroom and eyes followed him. I got a nervous twitch from all the attention he garnered, but he seemed oblivious and completely unruffled.
If Iâd had my heart set on cooing and rubbing all over Gideon, I wouldâve had to wait in line. He was pretty much mobbed the moment we stopped walking. I stepped away to make room for those vying to catch his attention and wandered off to find some champagne. Waters Field & Leaman had done the pro bono advertising for the gala, and I spotted a few people I knew.
Iâd managed to snag a glass off a passing waiterâs tray when I heard someone call out my name. Turning, I saw Stantonâs nephew approaching with a broad smile. Dark-haired and green-eyed, he was around my age. I knew him from the times Iâd visited my mother on holiday breaks and was glad to see him.
âMartin!â I greeted him with open arms and we hugged briefly. âHow are you? You look fabulous.â
âI was about to say the same.â He eyed my dress appreciatively. âIâd heard youâd moved to New York and meant to look you up. How long have you been in town?â
âNot long. A few weeks.â
âDrink your champagne,â he said. âAnd letâs dance.â
The wine was still bubbling nicely through my system when we moved onto the dance floor to the sound of Billie Holliday singing âSummertime.â
âSo,â he began, âare you working?â
As we danced, I told him about my job and I asked what he was up to. I wasnât surprised to hear he was working for Stantonâs investment firm and doing well.
âIâd love to come uptown and take you out to lunch sometime,â he said.
âThat would be great.â I stepped back as the music ended and bumped into someone behind me. Hands went to my waist to steady me and I looked over my shoulder to find Gideon at my back.
âHello,â he purred, his icy gaze on Martin. âIntroduce us.â
âGideon, this is Martin Stanton. Weâve known each other for a few years now. Heâs my stepfatherâs nephew.â I took a deep breath and went for it. âMartin, this is the significant man in my life, Gideon Cross.â
âCross.â Martin grinned and held out his hand. âI know who you are, of course. Itâs a pleasure to meet you. If things work out, maybe Iâll be seeing you at some of the family gatherings.â
Gideonâs arm slid around my shoulders. âCount on it.â
Martin was hailed by someone he knew and he leaned forward to kiss my cheek. âIâll call you about lunch. Next week maybe?â
âGreat.â I was highly conscious of Gideon vibrating with energy beside me, although when I glanced at him, his face with calm and impassive.
He pulled me into a dance, with Louis Armstrong singing âWhat a Wonderful World.â âNot sure I like him,â he muttered.
âMartinâs a very nice guy.â
âJust so long as he knows youâre mine.â He pressed his cheek to my temple and placed his hand within the cutout back of my dress, skin to skin. There was no way to doubt that I belonged to him when he was holding me like that.
I relished the opportunity to be so close to his scrumptious body in public. Breathing him in, I relaxed into his expert hold. âI like this.â
Nuzzling against me, he murmured, âThatâs the idea.â
Bliss. It lasted as long as the dance did.
We were exiting the dance floor when I caught sight of Magdalene off to the side. It took me a moment to recognize her because sheâd cut her hair into a sleek bob. She looked slender and classy in a simple black cocktail dress, but was eclipsed by the striking brunette she was speaking to.
Gideonâs stride faltered, slowing fractionally before resuming his usual pace. I was looking down, thinking heâd avoided something on the floor, when he said quietly, âI need to introduce you to someone.â
My attention shifted to see where we were going. The woman with Magdalene had spotted Gideon and turned to face him. I felt his forearm tense beneath my fingers the moment their gazes met.
I could see why.
The woman, whoever she was, was deeply in love with Gideon. It was there on her face and in her pale, otherworldly blue eyes. Her beauty was stunning, so exquisite as to be surreal. Her hair was black as ink and hung thick and straight almost to her waist. Her dress was the same icy hue as her eyes, her skin golden from the sun, her body long and perfectly curved.
âCorinne,â he greeted her, the natural rasp in his voice even more pronounced. He released me and caught her hands. âYou didnât tell me you were back. I wouldâve picked you up.â
âI left a few messages on your voice mail at home,â she said, in a voice that was cultured and smooth.
âAh, I havenât been there much lately.â As if that reminded him I was next to him, he released her and drew me up to his side. âCorinne, this is Eva Tramell. Eva, Corinne Giroux. An old friend.â
I extended my hand to her and she shook it.
âAny friend of Gideonâs is a friend of mine,â she said with a warm smile.
âI hope that applies to girlfriends as well.â
When her gaze met mine, it was knowing. âEspecially girlfriends. If you could spare him a moment, Iâve been hoping to introduce him to an associate of mine.â
âOf course.â My voice was calm; I was anything but.
Gideon gave me a perfunctory kiss on the temple before he stepped closer to Corinne and offered his arm to her, leaving Magdalene standing awkwardly next to me.
I actually felt sorry for her, she looked so dejected. âYour new hairstyle is very flattering, Magdalene.â
She glanced at me, her mouth tight, and then it softened with a sigh that sounded filled with resignation. âThank you. It was time for a change. Time for many changes, I think. Also, there was no reason to imitate the one who got away now that sheâs back.â
I frowned in confusion. âYou lost me.â
âIâm talking about Corinne.â She studied my face. âYou donât know. She and Gideon were engaged, for over a year. She broke it off, married a wealthy Frenchman, and moved to Europe. But the marriage fell apart. Theyâre now getting divorced and sheâs moved back to New York.â
Engaged. I felt the blood drain from my face, my gaze shifting to where the man I loved stood with the woman he mustâve once loved, his hand moving to the small of her back to steady her as she leaned into him with a laugh.
As my stomach twisted with jealousy and sick fear, it struck me that Iâd assumed he had never had a serious romantic relationship before me. Stupid. As hot as he was, I shouldâve known better.
Magdalene touched my shoulder. âYou should sit down, Eva. Youâre very pale.â
I knew I was breathing too fast and my speeding pulse rate was dangerously high. âYouâre right.â
Moving to the nearest available chair, I got off my feet. Magdalene sat beside me.
âYou love him,â she said. âI didnât see it. Iâm sorry. And Iâm sorry for what I said to you the first time we met.â
âYou love him, too,â I replied woodenly, my gaze unfocused. âAnd at that time, I didnât. Not yet.â
âDoesnât excuse me, does it?â
I gratefully accepted another glass of champagne when it was offered to me and took a second for Magdalene before the waiter straightened to move on. We clinked glasses in a pitiful display of scorned female solidarity. I wanted to leave. I wanted to get up and walk out. I wanted Gideon to realize Iâd left, to be forced to leave after me. I wanted him to feel some of the pain I felt. Stupid, immature, hurtful imaginings that made me feel small.
I took comfort from Magdalene sitting silently beside me in commiseration. She knew how it felt to love Gideon and want him too much. That I sensed she was as miserable as I was confirmed what a threat Corinne might be.
Had he been pining for her this whole time? Was she the reason heâd closed himself off from other women?
âThere you are.â
I looked up as Gideon found me. Of course Corinne was still on his arm and I got the full effect of the two of them as a couple. There were, quite simply, impossibly gorgeous together.
Corinne took a seat beside me and Gideon brushed his fingertips over my cheek. âI have to speak with someone,â he said. âWould you like me to bring you back anything?â
âStoli and cranberry. Make it a double.â I needed a buzz. Bad.
âAll right.â But he frowned at my request before he walked away.
âIâm so glad to meet you, Eva,â Corinne said. âGideon has told me so much about you.â
âIt canât have been too much. You two werenât gone that long.â
âWe talk nearly every day.â She smiled, and there was nothing fake or malicious in her expression. âWeâve been friends a long time.â
âMore than friends,â Magdalene said pointedly.
Corinne frowned at Magdalene and I realized I wasnât supposed to know. Was it she or Gideon or both of them that had decided it was best not to tell me? Why cover up something if there was nothing to hide?
âYes, thatâs true,â she admitted with obvious reluctance. âAlthough that was some years ago now.â
I twisted in my seat to face her. âYou still love him.â
âYou canât blame me for that. Any woman who spends time with him falls in love with him. Heâs beautiful and untouchable. Thatâs an irresistible combination.â Her smile softened. âHe tells me youâve inspired him to start opening up. Iâm grateful to you for that.â
I was about to say, I didnât do it for you. Then an insidious doubt drifted through my mind, making a vulnerable spot inside me fold in on itself.
Was I doing it for her without knowing it?
I twisted the base of my empty champagne flute around and around on the table. âHe was going to marry you.â
âAnd it was the biggest mistake of my life walking away.â Her hand went to her throat, her slender fingers restlessly stroking, as if toying with a necklace sheâd normally find there. âI was young and in some ways he frightened me. He was so possessive. It wasnât until after I married that I realized possessiveness is much better than indifference. At least for me.â
I looked away, fighting the nausea that rose in my throat.
âYouâre awfully quiet,â she said.
âWhat is there to say?â Magdalene tossed out.
We all loved him. We were all available to him. In the end, he would make a choice between us.
âYou should know, Eva,â Corinne began, looking at me with those clear aquamarine eyes, âheâs told me how special you are to him. It took me some time to gather the courage to come back here and face you two together. I even canceled a flight I had booked a couple weekends ago. I interrupted him at some charity event he was giving a speech at, poor guy, to tell him I was on my way and to ask for his help getting settled.â
I froze, feeling as brittle as cracked glass. She had to be talking about the advocacy center dinner, the night Gideon and I had sex for the first time. The night weâd christened his limo and heâd immediately withdrawn; then left me abruptly.
âWhen he called me back,â she continued, âhe told me heâd met someone. That he wanted you and me to meet when I got into town. I ended up chickening out. Heâs never asked me to meet a woman in his life before.â
Oh my God. I glanced at Magdalene. Gideon had left me in a rush that night for her. For Corinne.