Chapter 10

Mermaid was fighting the strong waves furiously trying to pull her down under. Every time she tried to swim, she would inadvertently swallow a gush of water. Her body was fatigued and her arms were numb from the cold icicles wildly stabbing at her flesh.

It was a starless pitch-dark night and the weather was horrible. Every time she thought she'd outsmarted the sea, wave after another would hit her and she'd go back under. She knew she was drowning and there was no more fighting it, so she let go.

Unable to breathe, she started coughing and woke up in a daze to realize she was in the comfort of her warm bed. She was breathing heavily and could barely catch her breath and her body was damp in perspiration.

She'd had the same recurring dream for several days now. She woke up in the middle of the night, sweaty and breathless, and every time, it left her terrified. She knew it was a piece of the memory which had left her washed up on the beach, and it was so frustrating getting pieces instead of the whole picture because she could never make sense of the images. She felt like there was a black wall concealing the rest of her memories.

When she got back in bed, she couldn't sleep because the flashes of her past were tormenting her. At some point, she wondered if she had a single happy memory because the three pieces she'd recollected so far were anything but.

Morning found her wide awake and as she kicked off the bed covers, she wondered how much longer she would have to hold onto Mermaid. These flashes frightened her because eventually they would come to replace the person she was.

Very soon, Mermaid would be gone and the old persona would take over. If she was anything like Mermaid... Her line of thought trailed off. If she started thinking about that now, she would start depressing herself.

After a quick shower and a change of clothes, she went downstairs and found Nick having breakfast alone. The Mackenzie's were early risers and most of the time, they all separately ate their breakfast. Mermaid had almost gotten used to eating alone in the morning.

"Good morning," Nick said in an upbeat tone.

"Morning," she said, wondering what was so good about that morning.

"Isn't it a beautiful day?" he asked when she took a seat across from him.

"What is so beautiful about it?" she asked, pouring herself a cup of coffee.

"The sky is bluer than ever, the sun is up, bright and warm, the sound of animals is like music to my ears and I'm seated here, having a wonderful breakfast with a beautiful woman."

He managed to make her laugh.

"Ah, there it is; the beautiful sound of her laughter," he teased, then got up to serve her.

"You're in a good mood today," she said, letting his mood rub off on her.

"I'm always in a good mood. Today I'm just extra appreciative."

Perhaps she should have been too, seeing as she was living with such a loving wonderful family, sleeping in a big beautiful house and eating a delicious meal she had not worked for. "I guess I do take a few things for granted," she said, almost to herself.

"We all do. It's human. There, enjoy," he said as he sat back down and resumed eating his bacon.

"Thank you."

"How is your arm?"

It had completely healed, leaving a scar behind but she figured the scar represented the beginning of her new life. "Much better," she said, absently running her hand over it.

"Have you remembered anything yet?"

"I keep having this recurring dream, but I think it's a memory. It's dark, I'm in the sea, there is a storm and I'm drowning. I keep trying to swim but the waves are so strong they keep pulling me under," she said, speaking it aloud for the very first time.

"It must be scary, being trapped in a nightmare that is actually your memory?"

"It is." She bit into a juicy pancake.

"Does it always start in the middle?"

She nodded, refusing to let her frustration show. "Enough about me. Do you still think you're going to win back Holly?" She switched the subject and met his gaze to see his reaction because his expression told more than words.

"I want to, but I'm starting to think she may not give me a chance. I hardly even see her, well, except during dinner and by then her whole family is here so we can't exactly talk."

"She spends most of her time in the stables and in the office."

He looked at her and smiled boyishly. "The thing is, even if we are in the same room, we'll start off by talking and end up fighting. I don't know what I do to provoke her. She's always so mad at me."

"Maybe she's mad at herself."

He raised his eyebrow. "How do you figure?"

It was none of her business so she wasn't about to tell him. "I don't think you listen to her when she talks to you."

"What do you mean?"

He was attentively watching her, and she did not want to give Holly away so she said, "Is the Holly you found in Reedsdale the same Holly you fell for and married?"

He appeared to be thinking about the question. "I'm wasting my time with her, aren't I?" he asked sadly, and she felt guilty for having changed his mood. "She is pretty upset with me. I guess I keep thinking that she'll let me in and we can talk about what happened. She doesn't understand that it hurts me as much as it hurt her. All she does is blame me. When she looks at me, I can see her saying it was my fault."

Mermaid did not know what he was talking about because the emotion in his voice spoke volumes of something entirely unrelated to what they had been discussing.

"I love her, you know. She was such an amazing woman. Everything about her intrigued me. She is so complicated, she always has been and I loved that about her. For once I wish she'd let her guard down and share the pain. But she's a strong woman. She picked herself up and moved on. She moved on and forgot she had me."

As he spoke, Mermaid could see he was miles and miles away because he was blankly staring into space.

"Neither one of us was ready for such an overbearing responsibility."

"What responsibility?"

"The baby."

The baby? What baby? She realized she should have been asking him but before she could, he looked at her and said gently, "I haven't talked about it with anyone since it happened. Thanks for listening."

He miserably left the room as Mermaid watched, speechlessly shocked.

She reran everything he'd just said in her head, trying to put the pieces together. He had spoken with such vulnerability. Could it be? Had they had a child together? The next question frightened her but she had to ask, had they lost that child? Was that what had really dissolved the marriage?

Was that why Holly kept so much to herself, because she was grieving? Was that why she could not share that pain with her family, because she was yet to overcome it herself? Why did she blame Nick for it? His loss was just as deep, his pain just as intense.

With so many thoughts going through her head, she got up to go look for Holly and a wave of weakness overcame her. Suddenly, she was in a staggeringly extravagant living room. Seated on the couch in a robe was a man predominantly older than her. He was smoking a Cuban cigar as he hastily looked through work related documents.

She was dressed to go out in a beautiful strapless chocolate-colored dress that exposed a little cleavage, hugging her slim upper body in a complimentary manner as it flowed down to her knees, revealing her perfect long legs.

The older man looked at her appreciatively, and tossed the documents on the couch as he got to his feet. She took a step back as hatred so strong, vibrated through her bones, openly emanating from her skin.

The hatred was accompanied by fear, the kind of fear a person could kill from in self-defense. He exhaled the smoke in her face and she coughed, taking yet another step back from him. Why she was there or why she could not leave and run away was beyond her.

"Where are you going my beautiful princess?" he asked.

"I'm going shopping. I need to buy a dress for the party, tomorrow night." She tried to be brave but the fear gripping her was so strong she could hardly breathe.

"Buy something that covers your back," he said as he walked behind her.

"Why?" she asked because he had never expressed concern over her mode of dressing.

"Because you'll need to cover this burn."

She was about to ask which burn, when he wrapped his arm around her waist, gripping her firmly, then forcefully pressed his Cuban cigar over her lower shoulder blade. The burning sensation was so painful, she screamed out loud as he put out the cigar on her flesh.

"That burn," he said as he released her.

She fell to her knees, clenching one hand into a firm fist while she placed the other one over her mouth to stop herself from screaming as tears flowed endlessly from her eyes. She could smell the scent of her burning flesh as she passed out from the pain.

Her knees buckled and she realized she was in the Mackenzie manor just as she passed out from the light headedness. It was Adele who found her a couple of minutes later, passed out on the floor. She yelled for help and Lori and a couple of other workers came running into the room.

"What happened?" Lori asked as she loosened any tight clothing.

"I'm okay," Mermaid said.

"I came in to clear up the table and found her on the floor," Adele said.

"Mermaid, just relax, honey," Lori said then turned to the workers who'd walked in with her. "I'm going to need one of you to help carry her upstairs to her bedroom."

One male worker gently lifted Mermaid from the floor and took her upstairs to her bedroom. Lori elevated her legs and opened the window to let some cool air in. "Adele, go get Holly," Lori said. "I'm calling Anthony."

Mermaid stared at the ceiling, reliving the memory over and over again. She wondered if she had stepped into someone else's world because it was not possible she could have suffered such a horrifying ordeal. Had that man really burned her?

It had been so real the smell of burning flesh, and the pain had shocked her. How could someone do that to another person? Who was that man? Why had he been so cruel? Why had he resented her so much?

"Oh, my God, what happened?" Holly said as she came running into the room.

"I just talked to Anthony. He's on his way here. Adele found her passed out on the floor."

"Is she hurt? Did she hit her head?"

"I don't think so. I checked her before I had her brought upstairs. I think she just fainted but if there is something else Anthony will tell us once he gets here." Lori explained as Holly looked at Mermaid.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"I'm fine," Mermaid said.

"Are you sure?" Lori asked.

"Yes, I'm sure. I don't know what happened. One minute I was on my feet, the next I was on the floor." She couldn't understand it herself but it must have been triggered by the shock received from the memory.

"I'm going to make you something sweet to drink incase you have low blood sugar," Lori said as she hurried out.

Mermaid turned her attention to Holly who was keenly staring at her as though she was trying to see if there was more she wasn't telling. When she tried to sit up from the bed, another wave of dizziness attacked her and Holly reached for her.

"Easy, don't rush it. You need to relax."

"I need you to do something for me," she said.

"Anything," Holly said.

Mermaid sat up and started unbuttoning her shirt. Holly looked at her in confusion. She took off the shirt, revealing her youthful stunning body. She turned around and closed her eyes, inwardly praying she did not have the scar to prove what had happened downstairs had been real.

"Do I have a round scar on my left lower shoulder blade?"

Holly didn't answer but Mermaid felt her fingers moving softly against the scar, which confirmed what she feared.

"Did you remember something?" Holly asked.

She nodded as she turned around and put the shirt back on.

"How did you get that scar?"

She couldn't believe that the only real thing she could reveal about herself was something so unpleasant. "I was in my house, I don't know how I know that but it just felt like it was a place I was familiar with. There was a man, an older man. He was smoking a cigar. I was telling him that I was going to buy a dress for a party." She trembled at the fear and hatred she'd experienced from the memory.

"I could feel that I was afraid of him and there was so much hatred inside of me I thought it would consume me. He came, stood behind me and held me tightly..." She closed her eyes. "He put out the cigar on my back."

The shocked look on Holly's face made her wonder what other cruelties she had endured.

"Why would he do that? Who was he?" Holly asked.

Before Mermaid could answer, Lori walked back into the room carrying a glass of fresh orange juice. "Drink this. It'll regulate your blood sugar."

Mermaid did as told. She could see the horrified look on Holly's face as she took a sip after another. She saw the questions behind her eyes and wished she had the answers.

Lori did not leave her alone after that until Tony arrived. He examined her and informed them it had just been a simple case of fainting, and that there was nothing wrong with her.

He did not stay long since he had to get back to his patients, but while he was there examining her, all she could think about was that evil man in her memory. When he left, Lori walked out with him.

Holly was quietly watching her. She had not said a word since Mermaid had revealed the memory and now, she appeared to be at a loss for words. Mermaid wondered if it was too late to run away.

"Anthony says that you should take it easy, stay in bed and rest for a while," Lori said when she got back to the room.

"I'll take care of her, Mom. Don't worry," Holly said.

Lori gently squeezed her hand and left them alone.

Holly went to sit on the bed beside her and took Mermaid's hand in hers. "You're not alone," she said.

Mermaid's lower lip trembled as tears fell down her cheeks. She was so afraid. She had no idea what to make of what she'd remembered. "Why would someone do something so malicious?" she asked.

Holly wiped away her tears then wrapped her arms around Mermaid. "I don't know," she said. "But whoever that man is, I'll never let him hurt you again."

"We don't even know who he is."

"It doesn't matter. He'll never get close enough again to lay a hand on you."

Mermaid pulled back and found warmth and comfort in Holly's eyes. A sense of security overcame her. She'd never known what it was about Holly that made her feel safe, but being with her and hearing her say those words soothed her far more than she could have imagined.

Holly ran her fingers gently over Mermaid's cheek and a strong sense of need overcame her. She pulled Holly closer and kissed her, desperate to release her fears and insecurities.

Holly broke the kiss and pulled back and Mermaid recalled what she'd said about them never being together. A sadness she was unfamiliar with pierced through her and she closed her eyes, willing the tears to stay away.

Holly touched her face and surprised her when she leaned in and kissed her. "Being like this with you frightens me," she said softly against Mermaid's lips.

"Why?" Mermaid asked.

"Because it feels so good and it's been so long since anything felt like this for me." She brushed her lips against Mermaid's.

"Then let it be, stop pushing me away." She wrapped her arms around Holly's neck, enjoying how wonderful it felt to be so close to her.

"Give me a second," Holly said as she pulled away.

Mermaid watched her get to her feet and head to the door and thought she was leaving, but she was pleasantly surprised when Holly closed the door and turned the key. She smiled when Holly walked back to the bed and took her back in her arms.

This time when their lips met, they left their burdens, their pain, and their tears behind fearlessly embracing their union.

She melted in the kiss as Holly teased her tongue, flaring sparks of passion to writhing flames of uncontrollable desire, and suddenly she wanted so much more than just the union of their lips.

Mermaid did not know if she'd ever been kissed so passionately, she didn't know whether she'd ever felt anything close to what she was feeling at that moment as Holly started skimming her hands over her body, caressing her as though she was fine delicate china, but it was the most powerful thing she'd ever felt since she'd woken up.

Holly's fingers lingered over the buttons of Mermaid's shirt, opening them one by one and Mermaid felt like there were sparks of energy vibrating from every part of her body, all going to settle at the core center of her desire.

Holly eased the shirt off Mermaid's shoulders and climbed onto the bed and Mermaid quickly reached for her buttons. They kicked off their boots and Holly unzipped Mermaid's pants, easing them off her long slender legs.

When Mermaid managed to take off Holly's shirt, she broke the kiss and pulled back. They looked at each other for a moment, as though lost in a feeding frenzy right before their lips recaptured in a long lingering kiss.

She left behind all the fear she carried because at that moment, everything she needed, everything she desired, she found it in Holly.

"You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, Mermaid," Holly said against her lips.

God, she was so amazing and the innocence they shared in their mutual passion for one another made Mermaid open herself up to the possibilities of everything, and anything she could have been because Holly managed to momentarily close the painful chapter of her life which helped Mermaid to allow herself to live as though she'd never been hurt and the simple thrill and pleasure of it was so much, it completely overwhelmed her.

*

Mermaid's mouth was full of secrets that Holly wanted to discover. She wanted to intimately know this woman who by day made her see things in a whole new light and by night haunted her dreams. She wanted to know the woman she had been and the woman she'd become and she wanted to bury herself in the very depths of her being.

Holly unsnapped Mermaid's bra at the same time Mermaid unbuckled her belt and unzipped her pants. Since she was standing on her knees, it was easy for Mermaid to ease the pants off her legs as untamed yearning flowed through her veins with a vengeance.

Holly kicked off her pants and recaptured Mermaid's lips again and then she laid her back down on the bed as she slowly took off her bra, revealing a pair of the most beautiful ample breasts she'd ever seen. They broke the kiss and Mermaid looked at Holly's face as she openly expressed her longing.

Their gazes locked and in each other, they both saw everything they failed to express in words. Holly placed a soft kiss over her lips as their bodies merged and Mermaid sighed when she kissed her neck and started exploring her further down.

She hadn't been with a woman since Lana, and having quieted that part of herself for so long made her feel like she'd explode because Mermaid was so beautiful and she'd come to mean to much to her.

She gently cupped Mermaid's breasts and was rewarded with a pleasurable moan, which excited her further as she gently continued attentively caressing her. Mermaid bit into her lower lip when Holly took a nipple in her mouth and started teasing it with the tip of her tongue.

Holly might have wanted to deny it but the way she loved Mermaid, the way every taste of her engraved itself in her mind, the way every touch etched itself in her heart, it all told her that she could not run anymore. This was who she was.

She might have been young the last time she'd been with a woman, she may have avoided thinking about it over the years, but Mermaid's body defied all rationale. It broke her, making her want to live through everything she had missed out on in the name of righting a supposed wrong.

God, had it always felt so good? How could it have been wrong when it felt so right? How come not a single part of her regretted it? What in the first place had ever given her the impression that by making herself happy, she would be hurting other people?

And Mermaid's response to her, with the sound of her moans echoing the room, the way her head turned from side to side and the way her body spasmodically reacted to her, God it drove her insane.

She kissed and touched every inch of Mermaid and finally ended up at the delicate line of Mermaid's underwear concealing the wonderful part of her body that had Holly under her spell. She leaned forward and trailed a row of hot moist kisses over her as Mermaid moaned for her from the profound sensations traveling through her body.

Trying to control her own urgency and need, Holly placed a kiss over the soft fabric as Mermaid quivered under her. She slowly lowered the piece of garment and placed a kiss over that beautiful part of Mermaid that had her mind and entire body enthralled.

Instead of immediately diving in, Holly placed a kiss over her knee and then followed a painfully sensitive trail down her inner thighs, which completely set Mermaid ablaze. She writhed under her and when Holly thought she'd had enough fun, she gently moved inside her.

Mermaid didn't last long, because a couple of minutes later, she reached climax and covered herself with a pillow to keep herself from screaming. Holly gently withdrew and collapsed on top of her, a little shocked she'd reached climax herself.

She hadn't prepared herself for something so tremendously mind blowing so she lay there silently trying to catch her breath, she felt a little stupid for denying herself such pleasures.

"If I had known that was what you meant when you told Lori you'd take care of me, I would have fainted sooner," Mermaid said a moment later.

Holly broke into laughter as she moved her weight off of Mermaid. "It wasn't exactly what I had in mind, but I'm glad it happened." She placed a light kiss over Mermaid's lips. "Turn around," she said a second later.

"What?" Mermaid asked.

"Turn around, I want to see if he ever hurt you again," Holly said.

Mermaid took a breath and turned around, laying flat on her stomach. Holly started off by looking for scars, but when Mermaid turned and exposed her entire naked back, Holly's mind went blank.

"Do I have any more scars?" Mermaid asked.

"Uh," she tried to form a sentence as she admired Mermaid's perky little bottom.

"Holly?"

She snapped back to reality and scanned Mermaid's back, gently running her hands over the soft delicate flesh. "You're beautiful," she said, placing a kiss over the burn mark.

"Do you know who the man in your memory is to you?" Holly asked.

"He called me darling in the memory."

"Why did you really want to leave that day when I found you in the clearing?" she asked, wondering if Mermaid had remembered more and was afraid.

"This wasn't my first memory," she said.

Holly sat up in surprise. "You've remembered more?"

Mermaid nodded. "It's all fuzzy and I don't know how it all fits. It's rather confusing."

"Tell me."

She sat, covering up her nudity. "There were two women in a dark red room, a blurry faced man who hurt me, there have been memories of my drowning and today with the burn. I can't tell you how it plays out because I don't know. They're fragments of random pieces I can't quite put together."

"Why didn't you tell me?" She softly ran her hand over Mermaid's back.

"Because everything I've remembered up to this point is bad. I can't help wonder if I have a single happy memory."

"I'm sure you do, it's just a matter of time until the rest comes back."

"Just a matter of time until Mermaid completely disappears. Holly, don't you see, I want to hold onto the memories I've made here with everyone, with you. Not a single bad thing has happened."

"Mermaid is an extension of who you were and things won't change. It can be like this for as long as you want it to be."

Mermaid looked at her, seeking reassurance and Holly wrapped her arms around her. "Now tell me, why did you really want to leave the day I found you in the clearing?"

"When Mark kissed me-."

"Mark kissed you?" Holly asked in surprise.

"He did, but it was a misunderstanding. I think he may still be in love with you. Were you two ever together?" she asked.

Holly shook her head, still trying to wrap her mind around the fact that Mark had kissed Mermaid. How did a misunderstanding occur and cause his lips to end up on hers?

"We kissed, once when I was a kid. What kind of misunderstanding was it that his mouth would suddenly end up on yours?"

"I was comforting him over his lost love for you and he mistook it for something else. Anyway, the kiss triggered the memory and I got scared. I was afraid for your family, which is why I wanted to leave. You've all done so much for me, I don't know what I'd do if I ever brought you any harm," she said.

"You won't and if that ever happened, trust me, the Mackenzie's can handle their own," she said, still disturbed by that kiss. "Did you kiss him back?"

Mermaid pulled back to look at her. "Why does it bother you so much that he kissed me? Are you jealous?"

Holly quickly shook her head and Mermaid started laughing, which infuriated her because there was nothing humorous about the situation.

She surprised Holly when she captured her lips for a passionate kiss that left her breathless. "I don't want anyone else to kiss me but you," she said.

Holly felt silly for overreacting and quickly changed the subject. "I should be having breakfast with you, just to make sure you don't pass out on your own again."

Mermaid's expression suddenly grew serious. "I was talking to Nick. We were having breakfast together. He was talking about how much he loves you and how he wishes he could reach out to you."

Holly grew tense. She was breathlessly waiting for him to leave and be gone for good.

"He was speaking out of so much pain and anguish and I didn't understand it until he mentioned a baby."

A wave of shock and anger overcame her and she turned away from Mermaid.

"Did you two have a baby, Holly?"

"He should go back to New York. I don't know how many times I have to tell him that." She tried not to let the pain take over her.

"What happened to the baby?"

Holly physically recoiled at the question and created physical distance between them as she sat on the edge of the bed with her feet touching the floor and her hands over her face.

"Please tell me," Mermaid implored.

Holly struggled not to think about it.

"He thinks that you blame him for what happened."

She finally broke as tears fell down her cheeks. "He had Nick's eyes." She choked on the words as she fought to hold herself together. "That's why I can't look at him. He reminds me too much of Ryan."

Her heart started breaking all over again.

"What happened to him?"

She had to share it with someone. She had to let it out somehow. "Two years into our marriage, I wanted to leave Nick because I wasn't happy. He wasn't aware of it, but I always felt like something was missing but right before I could, I found out I was pregnant and decided to stay with him. Nine months later, I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy but there were complications."

She forced herself to stay strong. She could not break down, even if she was voicing it for the very first time, she could not by any means break down.

"I held him in my arms for the first time and I fell madly in love with him. We named him Ryan, after Nick's dad. It was the single happiest moment of my life during our marriage, just holding our son in my arms."

She took a deep breath, trying hard to push away the pain.

"When we took him home, he was fine. The doctors said he was healthy and strong. If I had never been in love with Nick, holding that little boy in my arms made me love him." She stopped, recalling everything as it played out in her mind, tearing her heart apart.

"We'd only had him for a couple of weeks when he started getting sick. We took him back to the hospital but there was nothing the doctors could do. I couldn't stop crying. I didn't blame Nick. I blamed myself. Even though the doctors said I wouldn't have noticed a problem sooner, I just felt like I should have known."

Unable to hold it in any longer, she broke down and continued, "My son, Ryan, died just when he was a couple of weeks old."

Mermaid got closer to her and wrapped her arms around her. "That was a terrible ordeal to live through alone." She rained soft kisses over Holly.

When she stopped crying, Mermaid asked, "How long ago was that?"

"Its four months now." She'd been mourning since she'd gotten back home. That was why she had changed so much. That was why she kept to herself, because she didn't know what to do to get rid of the pain.

"How could you let yourself go through this alone when you have a family that loves you so much?" Mermaid asked, almost angrily but she did not let go of her.

"I couldn't let them go through my pain. I couldn't tell them I had a child just to take it away. It was cruel and unfair. Plus they barely even knew I was married." They were valid reasons to her. She wished she'd had the courage to tell them, but she didn't want them to experience what she was going through.

"You have to tell them. If you want to start over again, you need to tell them." Mermaid said firmly and Holly got off the bed, covering herself with a bed sheet.

"I cannot subject them through my pain."

Mermaid got up, not caring to cover up her own nudity. "For two weeks, Ryan was the source of your greatest joy. If you don't tell your family, no one else will acknowledge that or remember it but yourself. Don't you want your family to share in those two weeks of his life with you?"

Holly realized she had a point. She did not want Ryan to be just a memory to her and Nick when he had meant the world to her.

"They keep wondering what changed you, they don't understand that you've been mourning. They need to know, Holly."

She nodded, knowing Mermaid was right as tears started streaming down her face again. Mermaid wrapped her arms around her and when Holly started to relax, Mermaid pulled back and kissed her.

Holly responded and released the bed sheet she was using to cover up her nudity as Mermaid led her back to the bed.

*

Mermaid didn't mean to be so hard on Holly but she didn't know how else to get to her. When she did, the only thing she wanted to do was give Holly a new beginning, so she kissed away her pain, and drove bolts of passion through her body, quickly making her forget.

She made slow passionate love to Holly, not with the dominating personality that had once taken over her, but with the gentleness and sincerity of the person Holly and the rest of her family had built into.

She thrilled in the joys of pleasing another woman, loving each second the experience presented her and Holly thrived like a blossoming flower in early spring.

The day ended up uncovering so many secrets, when night came for Mermaid, she slept a dreamless sleep as memories of her love making lingered in her bedroom.