107 | threats; steaming sweet potatoes

tw: mild display of eating disorder

Two trays clattered on the ground, outside the sturdy bars that kept Noah entrapped. He'd tested it during his expanse of free time, realizing that they'd been reinforced by some sort of magic or material.

Noah blinked his eyes open lazily, peering up at the frowning pink-haired man as he reluctantly crouched down, sitting on the ground.

Kaden started poking at his food, similarly as plain as Noah's—even though Noah's was prison food. The dragon squinted at his tray and saw a few ugly chopped slices of fruit on a small plate.

It made his meal even more luxurious than Kaden's.

The thought irked him as his scrutinizing gaze bored into the fool. Kaden said nothing, only cutting and poking at his food while taking a tentative bite every few minutes. It would've been a perfect performance of eating, had the food decreased on his tray.

Noah propped up one leg as he moved, chains raking against the cold ground as his hands stretched through the bar to pick up a piece of fruit.

Still, there was no acknowledgment. It appeared that he was getting the silent treatment.

Two grown men in a prison, both three years older than they'd once been, now throwing tantrums. The thought made Noah snort lightly, eliciting a glance from Kaden.

Noah picked at the fruits, raising an ugly, peeled, and uneven chunk that was clearly done by a pair of unskilled hands. He looked at the gloved hands poking at the food and wondered if there had been new scars added.

He tore himself away from that curiosity, the deep need to know the many scars across the man's body, the need to know every detail and every change that had occurred since Kaden lay there, exposed before him.

When his teeth chewed down on the white flesh, sweet and fresh juices seeped into his mouth. Noah bit off another piece of the apple, breaking it in half in his mouth.

Calmly, he opened his mouth after swallowing. "These are very ugly."

He started with the fruits, observing the ugly and clearly rigid, unskilled knife work. Chewing one, tasting the sweet and fresh juices seep into his mouth, he stated, "These are very ugly."

"Not only have you started hunger strikes, you're also now a food connoisseur?" replied Kaden blandly, his hands moving away from the food. "Spit it out then."

Noah shook his head stubbornly, squinting judgingly at another chunk of fruit before popping it into his mouth. He stretched a hand out to grab another.

Then, his tray was rudely dragged away.

"You've lost your fruit privileges," said Kaden bitterly, frowning.

Noah stared at him deeply, cheeks protruding from the fruit he had already stuffed into his mouth as his chilling black eyes remained fixated on Kaden. It was comical, and Kaden smiled viciously.

"You're being irritating, dearest Bellamy."

"I'm being observant," Noah carefully savoured the uneven pieces in his mouth, thinking of the hands that were likely injured from cutting them crudely. "You seemed to appreciate my attentiveness several nights ago."

Kaden choked and Noah took the moment to snatch his long arms through the bars, dragging the tray back as he deposited the rest of the fruits into his palm.

He blinked long and hard as he placed another ragged piece into his mouth, deliberately chewing. Kaden stared in disbelief, clicking his tongue before he went back to stabbing at his dish with more vigour.

Once all the fruits had been gobbled and stolen away, casting a sheen of juice over Noah's lips, the dragon moved away from the tray.

"You can have it back," said the man generously.

Kaden's eyes flickered down and then up, scowling. "Fruits are not a meal, Bellamy. Not if you haven't eaten for days."

"By that definition, prodding at your meal isn't eating either." The dragon leaned back into his cell, taunting. "Honour your words before you complain about mine."

"I'm not here for an argument."

"I'm aware. You prefer running away."

"For a person that preaches personal space and respecting boundaries, you clearly can't take a hint. Come on Bellamy, is it running or simply not your business?"

"Did I misunderstand your begging for me to stay, back then?"

"That was—"

"The only truth I've heard from you," sneered the dragon coldly. "In a long time."

Kaden lowered his head, fingers pressing into his legs. He wanted to run; he always did, fleeing when things grew too real or too dangerous. Dangerous for his wavering mind. Bitterly, he bent down and shoved several spoonfuls of oily soup into his mouth.

Bland and tasteless foods, regardless of whether they were luxury meals or rotting fruit, all tasted the same. The snacks at the festival had been light, distinctly different and yet nothing that stimulated his desire to eat.

Surprisingly, the soup didn't taste as awful as expected. His stomach rolled in protest at the greasiness after his stomach emptied for days, save for a few morsels here and there, but he kept eating.

He shoved a chunk of crusting bread into his mouth inelegantly, feeling the food sink to the pits of his stomach, tumbling. Nausea rolled inside him, steadily creeping up as he tried to swallow it down.

Even if the taste was marginally better than usual, it was heavy and unpleasant. He clamped a hand over his mouth, his forehead creasing in sickness. In his irritation at Noah, he'd forgotten that his stomach didn't take well to greasy or heavy foods.

And he'd barely chewed anything, shoving it down to prove a point.

His spoon clattered to the ground as he scrambled to stand, dashing to the stairs. Noah jerked his head in alarm as soon as Kaden stood, hands curled tightly around the bars as the liquid sloshed in the bowl, eventually knocking over.

Time was agonizingly slow, and Noah was tempted to speed it up, even knowing that it would do nothing but age the time around him.

When Kaden returned, his demure pale and despondent, he slowly collected the two trays, one almost empty, the other still full, save for the plate of fruits that had been eaten clean.

"Kaden," called Noah from behind the bars, watching as the man turned to leave.

Even in his illness, the fool managed a half-hearted raise of his eyebrows, teasing. "What? Can't bear to be alone, darling Bellamy?" But his voice was slightly hoarse as if he'd violently coughed for hours.

"I can't bear it," agreed Noah softly, gazing at the other. "Tomorrow, can you bring four sweet potatoes?"

"Sweet potatoes?"

"Yes. I'll eat it."

Kaden opened his mouth to retort, holding tightly on the trays before he swallowed. Then, he stiffly nodded. "Alright. I'll make an exception, Bellamy."

Noah nodded in return, rolling his head back and closing his eyes.

That night, he dreamed of Kaden.

Of Kaden and the others, in a faraway place with soaring blue skies, or even the light patter of rain against windows as they sat by a crackling fireplace, legs curled, low chatter and laughter humming in the air.

When he opened his eyes again, Kaden was already sitting at the bars, arms crossed.

His eyes were also closed—head bobbing back and forth slowly, shoulders steadily rising. He'd probably fallen asleep while waiting for Noah who'd been enjoying the warmth of his dream.

There was light steam from the four sweet potatoes on the silver tray, so he likely only just fell asleep.

Even though that fool could've just woken him up. Because Noah preferred the Kaden in front of him more than any dream version.

The dragon's eyes widened slightly before relaxing. That was the answer, wasn't it? No matter how many years, no matter how he'd changed, this was undoubtedly Kaden.

Sure, there existed the version of the fool who ate, cared for himself, teased, and curiously enjoyed food in Noah's dreams. A life submerged in that dream would be peaceful, and comforting.

But lacking, in all the ways it wasn't real.

No matter how resentful Noah was, sometimes, loving somebody meant despising them at the same time. He hated Kaden's reckless, careless nature, how he didn't care for himself, how he always ran away.

However, all those irritations eventually fell into a deep, bottomless pool of love.

Noah had reached a chained hand through the metal bars, a tattered and old glove stubbornly encasing them, his claws that had sharpened in his irritation piercing through the top.

His hands were a sign of his inhumanness, of everything he didn't want to be. They hovered in the air, hesitant as they carefully brushed a dangling lock of pink hair, longer than they'd once been.

He was attentive, careful not to graze Kaden's face and startle the man into waking.

A resigned breath left Kaden's lips. His eyes slowly opened, a pale green that stared straight at Noah.

"If it's your touch," murmured the fool in a sleepy daze. "I wouldn't mind it."

Noah huffed lightly, fingers brushing past the man's cheek. "You're being contradictory, Kaden Chauvet."

Kaden smiled faintly. "I know."

For a second, they remained there, stuck in the yearning for their past as well as their present. Then, Kaden gently moved his face away slightly and nudged the tray closer to the bars.

"Your potatoes, dear guest."

Noah's fingers curled in the air, hovering for a second before he pulled away. He examined the four, lumpy shapes. He frowned. "They're not peeled."

Kaden stared in disbelief. "You're a prisoner. You don't get peeled potatoes."

"The fruits were peeled."

"The lack of food is making you hallucinate."

The dragon, infuriatingly, shook his head and vividly recounted, "They were massacred and ugly, chunks taken out of the flesh. Unlike you, my memory is in tact."

Kaden ignored the jibe. "Next time I'll take bits out of it and you can see how ugly it could've been."

"You peeled them?" A fake look of surprise.

Kaden squinted. "You knew that."

"I'm just a prisoner. I don't get peeled potatoes or the honour of eating my guard's personally cut fruit."

"You're doing this on purpose," complained Kaden with a frown.

The dragon continued to feign innocence, reaching through the bars to break one potato in half, a warmth steaming from the coloured flesh inside. He peeled back the skin on one, handing it out.

Kaden frowned but accepted the half. The warmth enveloped by hands, sinking through the gloves and deep into his skin.

Slowly, he took a bite, relishing in the heat that filled his stomach, the light sweetness that captivated his mouth and satiated him. Noah watched Kaden eat for a moment before peeling his own potato, satisfied.

The next few days continued similarly, with Noah's small requests and Kaden's inability to refuse. He would come down, twice a day and remain for hours, quietly eating the food.

Like a stray, cautious and suspecting, but weak to warmth and kindness. Noah felt his anger, an expansive wall of irritation, slowly chip away, piece by small piece.

It would always be there; and truly, if at the end of everything, the only way for Kaden to survive was to be far away from Noah's side—

—could the dragon allow it?

He wanted to believe that he could, that he had that eternal, undying love that was worth any willing sacrifice. But Noah wasn't sure, watching the fool silently eating peeled fruit, getting neater every day.

It would be easier to lock away the man; easier to place him somewhere trouble couldn't reach.

It would be easier if Kaden fell so far that only Noah could save him.

Easier, mocked Noah to himself in the dwelling of his thoughts, but crueler. That was not what he wanted, even if his terrible thoughts strayed.

What defined a person? Their thoughts or actions?

He didn't want to know the fool's opinion.

One day—a day unknown by the dragon, holed in the darkness where time was nothing but a faraway concept—Kaden came downstairs with a stack of books in his arms.

He carefully placed them on the ground.

Noah looked over, sitting directly behind the bars. They were all titles he recognized.

"These are..."

His words caught as he caught a glimpse of a picture book, a contrast to the many thick leather books. On the cover was a lion and a cat, peering quietly ahead.

"Tell me," said Kaden slowly, pointing at the picture book. "Why did it become your treasure?"

Noah's eyes fell on the book again, taken to his past. "I found it; it was mine. It was a story of stories, of two similar yet different creatures venturing the world. I had been enamoured by it."

Kaden moved to the next book. "And this?"

"It's not a treasure."

"But you enjoyed it. I met your Grandfather."

Noah's eyes flicked up, a hint of amusement curling his lips. "When you were stalking me."

"I was assigned to follow you."

"Following requires you to follow into the stores I entered?"

"I'm a thorough person."

Kaden frowned and moved his head, and his hair swayed, revealing his ear against the thin stream of light coming from up the stairs. There, a silver earring dangled loosely, marked at its end by a black and white jewel.

Kaden noticed Noah's look and allowed his hair to fall back over his face. "It's a coincidence."

This once, Noah allowed Kaden's lie to pass. "Of course." Then after a pause, he remembered that Kaden hadn't worn earrings before. He narrowed his eyes. "Don't tell me you pierced it yourself?"

Kaden blinked and picked up another book. "This book..."

"No. Did you pierce them yourself, Chauvet?"

"Is it any of your business what I do with my body, Bellamy?"

"Yes," replied the dragon shamelessly. "Did you pierce them?"

Kaden was taken back slightly and nodded, tilting his chin. "I did. And what of it?"

"With what?"

"A needle."

The atmosphere was growing chillier in the murky cell, and Kaden inched back slightly. He took a roasted potato with him for defense.

Noah spoke slowly. "Without any treatment?"

"No. I treated it. I'm not foolish—"

"Without treatment." This time, it was a statement.

Kaden rubbed his ear, looking away. It was true, in the beginning, a bump had formed on his skin, causing him pain when sleeping or leaning against it, but it eventually went away.

There was the risk of infection, but he was fine, and therefore his actions were not wrong.

Noah's teeth ground together, jaw clenching. If there were sixteen things to dislike about Kaden Chauvet, one would be that he was an irrevocable, unchanging fool unable to learn common sense.

He was the greatest fool in the world, and Noah loved that fool.

He shook his head, standing up and retreating to the darkest corner of his cell. "Leave. I don't want to talk to you right now."

"Bellamy," Kaden called out, but Noah refused to stand back up.

"You asked for entertainment, and here I am," scowled Kaden. "Anything else is unrelated. If I leave, I won't come back next time."

Hearing no response, Kaden's irritation deepened. "Then so be it, dear dragon. Enjoy your imprisonment. I'll be returning your meals to an assigned guard since you no longer wish to see me."

In between his words, Noah had stormed back over, and in a blink, the long chain connecting his wrists was looped around Kaden's neck, yanking him close.

The tray Kaden had picked up clattered, the sound reverberating around them.

"Understand this, Chauvet," seethed the dragon. "For every mark you leave on yourself, I'll carve on twice as deep on myself. Do you believe that harming yourself harms nobody else? Then I'll prove you otherwise."

Kaden gasped, his hands curling around the chains as they tightened around his throat, colouring the pale skin a blooming red. He hissed. "What are you saying, Bellamy?"

Noah restrained his strength, careful not to harm Kaden, but enough to keep the fool in place.

The dragon gazed at Kaden and realized that the fool didn't understand. He released his hold, the chains falling around his standing figure, in the gloom of his filthy prison.

Then, he swept off one glove, sharp claws seeming to sharpen even further. Without a word, he reached and slashed it across his ear.

Red dripped to the ground, an agonizing and constant sound.

"Do you understand, Chauvet?" said Noah once more, his voice eerie soft and low. "That you can't protect me, and all your foolishness is worthless. Because the greatest danger to a dragon is themselves."

Kaden stared in horror, at the bloodied ear and the slow drip of crimson scattering against the cold floors.

"I'm tired, fool. Where am I lacking, when kindness isn't enough, when waiting does nothing? Are you disillusioned?"

Kaden swallowed, quiet. "I'm not."

"Then what is it? Why do your only choices lie in abandoning me?"

"...that's not it."

Noah stared, tranquility settling over his entire body. He nodded. "Kaden Chauvet, your protection is a cruelty. Your kindness injures. More than we wanted to live, we wanted to live by your side. If you really wanted to abandon me, you should've never given me yourself."

Kaden turned on his heels, stepping towards the stairs.

"Is running away easier? Is it easier to believe that nobody cares, because then we won't betray or abandon you? Is that how little you think of me?"

"...You know that isn't the case."

"Then what is? I cannot fathom your thoughts Chauvet, no matter how deep I've been inside of you."

"I don't know, Bellamy. I don't know, I don't know." He spun around, his face distorted and wretched and Noah had never seen such an expression before. "I'm terrified. That's what I know."

Before Noah could speak, the door had slammed shut behind Kaden.