15

"I'll assume it went horribly wrong?" Santana asked, peering over her shoulder at Colton as he approached her.

Santana had spent the last 10 minutes sitting on the wooden bench in the garden outside of The Compound building, but still inside the gated property. The Compound itself looked like an old manor. Thanks to Kendras constant care, the building was always kept clean from the inside out. She hired people to keep it that way, but she dealt with the garden herself. It was lined with several rows of her favorite kinds of flowers with one large apple tree planted in the center. The entire set up itself was a gift from her husband and kids for mothers day many years ago. Kendra had wept when they'd shown it to her, she said that she'd keep flowers planted in it for as long as she could continue gardening. She kept that promise, with the exception of winter. About a year after, her husband had built a bench to put at the entrance of the garden.

Santana was perched on that very bench right now, the bottle of vodka in her hand.

"It was bad but," Colton trailed off as he sat beside her on the bench. "Could have been worse, I guess."

"Is she going to show up for training?" Santana asked.

Colton scratched the back of his head. "Who knows?"

He eyed the bottle in her hand and reached over to take it. "Give me that." Santana let out a surprised laugh as he put his lips to the bottle and allowed a mouthful of the liquor to fill his mouth. He squeezed his eyes shut and resisted the urge to spit it out or gag at its bitter and overwhelming taste.

"Come on, you can do it." Santana gave him words of encouragement as he passed the bottle back to her, trying to swallow what was already in his mouth. He reluctantly swallowed it as it burned his throat. Colton instantly coughed at the sensation.

"Damn, it must have been bad enough if you're actually drinking," Santana said with an arched eyebrow.

He nodded before leaning his head back and sighing. "I don't know what do to, Santana. At first, I was mad at her for what she said, but now... I don't know. Maybe she wasn't in the wrong?"

"She dropped the bomb that their dad was dead to Ainsley in the middle of an argument, Colton." Santana took a small sip from the bottle. "She definitely wasn't in the right."

"Maybe neither of them were."

"So, you're siding with Carmen now?"

Colton's eyes darted in her direction at the tone in her voice, "I'm not choosing sides. At first, yeah of course I chose Ainsley's side. But I heard what Carmen had to say and I can't lie, Santana, she had a point."

Santana's jaw clenched and she shook her head at him. "Ainsley is our teammate."

"Carmen is now too," he retorted. "All of you need to accept that."

"She doesn't really act like a team player."

"Neither did you at first." Colton cocked an eyebrow. "You and Sophie were in a very similar boat to her."

Santana lifted a hand to wag her finger at him, "Uh-uh. Sophie and I killed the cartel leader responsible for killing our father. That's the only reason we were wanted in the first place. We didn't come close to doing the things that Carmen did."

"I don't think Carmen really understands what she did, Santana."

"That's even worse." Santana shook her head at the memory of all the files they had to read on what Carmens tech had done. Ainsley had thrown down the second file after reading it and stormed out of the room. No one mentioned the tears lining her eyes at the realization of the horrors her sister had caused. The lives she's ruined and taken. The fact that Carmen didn't even know about all the things her inventions have done to people only infuriated Santana. In her eyes, Carmen didn't know because she didn't care. "I don't know why you even bother with that girl, Colton."

Colton stared ahead at the apple tree, watching the fireflies light up certain areas of the garden. "Because I understand some of what she's feeling. I know how she feels."

"This again?" Santana sighed.

Colton said nothing. Santana was his best friend and had been for years. He'd opened up to her about how alone and out of place he'd felt in the Twin Operative. He admitted to being jealous of the bond that everyone had with their twin. The bond he would never have. Santana always denied this and tried to make him feel better about it, but it never changed, and those feelings had been there since Colton was young enough to understand what having a twin meant. The only other person he even hinted these feelings to was Carmen, at the hotel. And although she was a twin, there was something in her eyes that told him that he'd finally found someone who understood. She understood how it felt to be in an environment full of people like you, and still feel out of place. Like you weren't quite where you were meant to be.

"Colton," Santana started. "You're just as much a part of this team as anyone else. Twin or no twin. You belong here with us."

He wanted to tell her that there was a feeling deep inside that didn't agree with that statement, but he didn't want to argue or try to convince her otherwise. So instead, he forced a polite smile. "I know."

At that moment, their conversation was interrupted by the sound of Santana's phone going off. She handed Colton the bottle of vodka and pulled her phone out of her back pocket. Colton looked at the screen to see that she'd received a text from someone named Sarah. The text said: I had fun last night :)

Santana only sighed and slid the notification from her screen before taking the bottle back to take another sip. By this point, she'd taken so much from the bottle that Colton wondered if she was at least tipsy.

He smiled at her. "That the girl from yesterday?"

Santana had informed Colton that she left The Compound late last night after getting invited over to Sarahs apartment. Santana met Sarah weeks beforehand and she'd taken Santana home the same night that they met. Santana said that it was only a one-night stand, and no one else knew about it besides Colton, but she'd met up with Sarah occasionally for casual sex. It wasn't the first time that she had one-night stands. She'd had her fair share, mostly with guys. The team was well aware of the boys she met and hooked up with, but only Colton knew about the girls. Santana had been struggling with understanding her sexuality for over a year. So, she wasn't fully comfortable letting everyone else in their team know about the girls she'd been with when she wasn't even sure what they were to her yet. Santana decided to tell Colton that she was questioning and felt like she still needed more time to figure out if she even wanted to label herself at all. All of the people that she did have sex with every now and then were aware of this, she didn't want to lead any of them on and felt it was fair for them to know that she could not promise them anything about a future.

Santana swallowed the mouthful of vodka with more ease than Colton did but still cringed at the taste. "Yeah. She usually sends stuff like that whenever she wants me to come over."

"Are you going to?"

Santana shot him an alarming look. "No, dummy. I've been drinking."

"You've never stuck to a hook up this long before," Colton noted. "You sure that she isn't more than that?"

Santana shook her head and stared at the bottle in her lap. "No. I made that clear yesterday and she agreed that it was only for fun. I don't want a relationship; I don't really know if I'm... I don't know." She shrugged. "I don't think I'm built for that."

Colton nodded. "I get it."

"Besides," she started. "It'll be hard to juggle being the leader of the Twin Operative and having a relationship at the same time."

Colton snapped his head in her direction so fast that he thought his neck would break, his eyes went wide, and a bright smile grew on his face. "Shut up! They approved it?!"

Santana nodded with her own smile.

Santana had been talking with Kendra and Clayton about being Claytons second-in-command when it came to leadership. He'd done it on his own for years, but there had been talk in the past about who would take over if anything were to ever happen to him or if he were to leave the CIA. Kendra and Clayton thought that Santana would make a good fit and they'd been pushing for her to be approved as the next leader for months. Santana got pulled into Kendra's office this morning to see a grinning Clayton perched on the edge of Kendra's desk when he told her that she would officially take over next, whenever that may be. Santana instantly began squealing with excitement and Clayton wrapped her up in a tight hug as he congratulated her. He'd secretly been helping her get ready for the leadership training that she would have to go through since last year. He knew that if anyone were going to take care of this team and love the job, it would be her.

"That's why I'm out here celebrating." She lifted the bottle and sloshed around the contents inside for emphasis.

"Why didn't you tell me!" Colton exclaimed with a laugh.

"You were on Carmen duty."

He rolled his eyes, his smile not fading, "So? This is more important than that stupid drama. Have you told Sophie yet?"

She nodded. "Sorry, Colton, but Sophie got to know first."

He let out an over-dramatic sigh. "I guess I understand."

"Alexa was there when I told them. They both practically tackled me to the ground trying to hug me." She patted the back of her skull. "I think they concussed me."

Colton laughed and it instantly put a smile on her face. She looked over at him. "I'm happy for you," he said.

She smiled and he slid an arm over her shoulder to pull her in for a hug. She returned it. "You know that means I get to boss you around, right?"

"You already boss me around," Colton chuckled as he pulled out of their hug.

Santana rose from the bench. "I guess I need to go tell Ainsley. She'll raise hell if Luke finds out before she does and get pissy that she was the last to know."

Colton reached over to take one last drink from the bottle and swallowed it before handing it back to her with a grimace. "Sorry. I needed that."

Santana arched her eyebrow at him. "You sure that you're gonna be okay?"

He gave her a thumbs up. "Don't worry about me, leader. I'll manage."

"Not the leader yet," she said over her shoulder as she began walking to the door of The Compound. "Unless you can convince your brother to quit!"

**

Alexa came knocking on Carmens door almost as soon as Colton left her room. She had been carrying two bowls of soup that Kendra made for dinner and smiled sweetly at Carmen when the door opened. "I come bearing gifts."

Carmen half-smiled and offered to help her carry the bowls. Alexa handed her a spoon and bowl before closing the door behind her.

The two were now sitting on Carmens bed, eating the contents in the bowls while Carmen ranted about her encounter with Colton.

"It's like everyone just expects me to forgive Ainsley like nothing happened." She sighed, scooping some of the broth onto her spoon and dumping it repeatedly. "I don't know how I'm supposed to feel at home here when it feels like everyone hates me. I'm either hated for making tech or hated for hurting Ainsley's feelings. As if she didn't hurt mine by running off."

Alexa nodded along as she chewed the pieces of vegetables from the soup.

"Carmen, nobody here hates you."

Carmen raised both her eyebrows in question. "When I slept in the hotel room with Clayton, he literally shoved a gun under his pillow in case he needed to use it on me. I wouldn't call that being fond of me."

Alexas twisted her mouth to the side. "Clayton is... something else."

"That's what Colton said." Carmen smirked.

Alexa didn't match her smile, she stared at the comforter with something clearly going through her mind. "Clayton has his reasons for being the way that he is. He's very protective of everyone, Ainsley included. It's not my story to tell but trust me, if you knew that story then you would understand why he's so cautious to make sure that nothing happens to us. It's not just about him being a leader, we're a family here and he just wants to protect everyone. He just needs to get to know you, everyone here does. I've taken the opportunity to get to know you these past few days and I'm glad that I did."

Carmen looked back down at her soup. "Yeah well, it seems like the only reason I'm wanted here is for my brain."

"That's not true, Carmen," Alexa denied this with a soft voice. "Like I told you before, Ainsley was happy that you were coming here, despite the circumstances, and she told everyone a lot of good things about you that have nothing to do with your tech."

When Carmen didn't respond, Alexa inhaled deeply. "I've felt some of what you're feeling, you know? When I first came here, I'd been through so much with Luke already that it took me so long to put any trust in anyone. I thought that the only reason they even cared enough to take us in was because of what we'd been trained for."

Carmen lifted her eyes to Alexas and gave her a questioning look. "What do you mean?"

Alexa bit her bottom lip as she set her soup down on Carmens bedside table. She straightened, gathering the strength to dive into the story she struggled with every day and the parts of her life that still lurked in her dreams.

"This isn't something that I talk about often," she trailed off as she swallowed hard. Carmen instantly spoke up.

"Alexa, you don't have to tell me anything if you're not comfortable."

Alexa shook her head. "No, it's okay. We're a team. I think that you should know at least how I got here."

Carmen set her own soup down and folded her legs beneath her as she waited for Alexa to speak.

(*CONTENT WARNING* There will be mentions of transphobia and abuse. Please proceed with caution)

"Luke and I didn't have the most ideal situation growing up. We came from a military family, but it wasn't a normal military family. My father is one of the highest ranking and most respected generals in the army. From the second that my parents found out that they were having twins, my father saw this as an opportunity to train us to be one of the most elite and deadly pairs in the entire military. He had the connections to make it happen, and with years of non-stop training he believed that it would." She scoffed. "He wanted to make us more well-known than SEAL Team Six. From the time that Luke and I were at least six, we were already learning soldier's mannerisms and how to handle certain weapons. When I was twelve, I knew how to assemble a fully automatic gun and how to handle my own in hand-to-hand combat with someone twice my size. He was training us to be killing machines. He hoped that we would use everything we learned to be a part of Special Forces. My mother didn't care to even try to stop it, she ate up all the attention that she got from marrying someone with my father's rank; she would have been living in her own dream to call herself the mother of the deadliest twins in American militant history. But my father was... traditional," Alexa spoke the word with the most venom that Carmen had heard from her lips in all the times that she'd spoken to her.

"Luke and I were resistant on the training after a while, we didn't want what he wanted, we just wanted to be kids. The second that we even brought up doing anything else with our life outside of the military, he got so violent. He started screaming at us that we were so ungrateful for everything he'd given us and how there were kids somewhere who would die to have what we did. It was the first time that he hit us outside of training, but it was worse than the slapping around that we got in training. He really beat us up that day. Our mother watched; she didn't say anything. He beat Luke first and when I tried to stop him, he turned on me and started to hit me next. I'd never seen Luke use what he learned outside of training until that moment. He tried to stop our father by using a maneuver that our father had taught us, but he was the one who perfected that move in the first place. We learned it from him. He threatened us with everything under the sun if we ever used our training on him again. I think that he was actually scared for the first time in his life, he knew that he'd be no match for the both of us put together; he put a stop to that before it ever got out of control. The beatings didn't stop there, but we'd never brought up doing anything else with our lives in front of him again."

Alexa tightened the hold she had on her hands in her lap and straightened in the slightest. "But the next few years were more difficult, especially for me."

Carmen tilted her head in slight confusion. "Especially for you? How come?"

Alexa drew in a slow breath of preparation. "I'm transgender."

She held off on continuing while holding her breath, waiting for any sign of a negative reaction from Carmen. But there wasn't one, Carmen only nodded and waited for Alexa to continue.

So, she did, "I was pretty young when I understood that I was a girl. I remember that I used to hold off on getting my hair cut as much as possible because I wanted to let it grow out. When I was home alone, I would sneak into my parents' room and try on my mother's dresses. For a long time, I didn't have it in me to outright tell anyone, not even Luke, I was still struggling to understand what it meant. Our parents didn't really talk about being trans or being part of the LGBTQ community at all. It was hard to navigate what that meant for me. But one day, Luke finally found out. My parents were away at some play they'd been invited to. I thought they took Luke with them. So, since I thought that the house was empty, I took it as an opportunity to try on a dress that my grandfather had gotten me and told me to hide. Somehow, he knew without me even having to tell him. I still don't know how he knew about my gender dysphoria, but he did, and he was the first person to support me in all of it. I remember when Luke walked in the room, he just looked so confused. I burst into tears, and I blocked the door so that he couldn't leave. He didn't even get a chance to talk before I started begging him not to tell anyone. I told him that I would take every single punch and kick from our father for the rest of my life if it meant that he just kept it a secret. Luke finally just told me to sit down and talk to him. He just asked me to explain it to him. So, I did. I told him that I was a girl. I tried explaining it to him as best as I could, but like I said, I didn't know much information about it. Once I told Luke everything, and that our grandfather already knew, he asked what I wanted to do. He agreed that telling our parents at that time wasn't the best idea and he promised not to say anything to anyone. But from that point on, he called me Alexa and used my preferred pronouns in private. He was always careful not to let our parents hear." Alexa blinked back tears that Carmen could already start to see forming. "Luke and our grandfather are the reasons that I got to experience unconditional love for the first time."

"One day, my grandpa convinced my father to let him take Luke and I on a trip to the city for a day. My father agreed, and we went. It turns out that he scheduled an appointment at a boutique for me to get my makeup done. I remember feeling so scared, I hadn't transitioned yet and I was worried that they would judge me for getting my makeup done. But the girls who did my makeup... they were so kind and so sweet. They did it with a smile, they told me everything I would need to know about how to do my makeup in the future and I wore it the rest of the day. But when he was taking us home, he told me that I would have to take it off before my father saw. I broke down while I was taking it off, I couldn't stop crying and it was the first time that Luke had cried for me. He helped me take it off and promised me that someday I would be safe enough to wear all the makeup that I wanted. But we both knew that day would never come as long as we were still living with our parents."

Alexa paused to draw in a deep breath and Carmen could tell that she was growing emotional. She reached forward to take Alexas's hand in her own and gave it a soft squeeze.

"I'm sorry," Alexa apologized. "This is just not something that I talk about often."

Carmen shook her head. "You have nothing to apologize for."

"Eventually," Alexa started after a brief few seconds. "I decided to come out to my parents. I asked Luke to be there with me. We sat them down and I just kinda let everything come out at once. I told them that I was transgender and not only was I trans, but I was lesbian too. I don't really remember much. I remember there was some screaming and yelling, I think I started crying at one point and then my father just attacked me. He beat me within inches of my life, Carmen." Alexa sniffled and tried to blink away the tears that lined her eyes. "The only reason he stopped was because Luke jumped in to try and get him off me. That's when he started going in on Luke instead, I wanted to help him but I couldn't. It's hard to try and pull a grown man off your brother when you have a punctured lung and a fractured skull."

"Would it be wrong of me to say that I hope your dad rots in hell?" Carmen asked, Alexa could see the pure anger in those dark eyes and shook her head.

"You wouldn't be the first one to say it," she said. "After that, my dad never hit me again. I never understood why, and I still don't but he just stopped. Luke wasn't so lucky. Every time that my father got frustrated with us or got angry at Luke, he would take it out on him instead of both of us like he used to. Luke got hit a lot more after that because once I was out to my parents, he still called me Alexa and corrected my parents anytime they didn't call me that. No matter how pissed off my mother and father got, Luke still validated my identity anytime that they wouldn't."

"My grandfather passed away not long after that. I think Luke and I realized that we had nothing keeping us there after that. We decided that we needed to leave, but my father would never let us go willingly. We tried running away one night but they found out what we were planning and he stopped us. Luke still has the scars from that. I wanted to give up, I was so tired of seeing my brother constantly in pain. He said that he didn't care, he knew that if we stayed then something worse would happen to either one of us or both of us. So, we waited for the right time, we tried saving as much money as we could and we kept bags packed just in case. A few months later, my father had to fly out to California for something. He would only be gone a couple days but it was the perfect opportunity. Luke and I grabbed the money and everything we could, and we left. On our way out, our mother saw us and she knew that we were trying to leave. I remember her telling us that if we left then we'd better not come back. I told her that there was no way we would ever go back anyway, and then we ran."

"We took a bus here to New York and we lived off the money we had for as long as we could but it only lasted for so long. After it ran out, Luke and I were homeless. We lived on the streets for three months before Clayton and Payton found us. They were with Colton and Kendra going to see some musical in the city or something. Luke and I were used to begging for money or food at that point, and they came right up to us to ask if they could do anything to help. We told them that anything would help us. It was clear that Luke and I were twins, so they asked Kendra if Luke and I could stay with them at The Compound for a few days until Kendra could figure out how to help us get back on our feet. Kendra was used to her kids convincing her to take people in, so she wasn't too hesitant. But Luke told her his name and I thought Kendra was going to have a heart attack the second he said it. She said that she knew who we were and that she'd heard plenty about the Thornton Twins. Kendra asked us if we wanted to come home with them and that she could guarantee a safe place to stay. Luke and I were so desperate that we took her up on it. I had no idea what we were walking into until we got here. Kendra immediately brought Luke and I to her office and we told her everything. She didn't judge us, or me, she just listened. After we told her the whole story, Kendra told us that we were more than welcome to stay but she had a request, she asked that we continue training here and we participate in missions until we turned eighteen. She said that even if we said no, that we could still stay. Luke and I felt like we owed it to them, we had these... abilities and maybe we could do good with them instead of being walking weapons like our father wanted. So, we agreed. Luke and Clayton hit it off right away and they got really close very fast. Everyone tried to make me feel at home, but I didn't know if I should trust them. Kendra had close contact with the Army so of course she'd heard about my family. I was so scared that she would sell us out to him. I was convinced that Kendra was just using us for what we could do and it took a long time before I tried befriending anyone here. One day, Kendra pulled me into her office. She and her husband knew that I was transgender and they offered to pay for my hormones, my therapy, and even my surgeries. I broke down and it was the first time that I felt like I could trust them. It's when I finally realized that their intentions were pure."

"Before I fully transitioned, that was when Kendra caught word about who Sophie and Santana were. She sent Clayton and Payton to recruit them." A soft smile tugged at her lips. "The second Sophie walked through those doors, I had a thing for her. We spent so much time together and over time that little crush that I had on her became more. Sophie was actually the one that made the first move and we've been together ever since. She was with me through every step of my surgeries and never left my side whenever I was in the hospital during recovery. Sophie's always accepted every part of me without question."

Carmen found herself smiling.

Alexa shook her head, snapping her focus back to Carmen. "I guess what I'm trying to get at with all of this is that believe me when I say, you are not the first person to come here not knowing how to trust. I know our circumstances are different, but I have no doubt that you will find the home here that the rest of us have. It won't be easy and it may take time, but no one here has any ill will towards you, and I know that everyone here wants to be your friend just as much as I do." Alexa smirked. "Even Clayton."

Carmen felt a light laugh bubble to the surface. "Thank you, Alexa. I know that you didn't have to tell me all of that, but I appreciate it."

Alexa nodded, her curly blonde hair bobbing with every dip of her head. "Of course."

Carmen straightened. "I actually have a question, if you don't mind me asking."

"Yeah?"

"Who is Payton? You mentioned them a couple times."

The smile that was once on Alexas face fell instantly, and she pushed her hair behind her ears, "I'm really not supposed to talk about it, actually."

"Oh." Carmen frowned. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine! It's just not something I like to think about. But can you do me a favor? Don't bring up Payton to anyone, not even Colton. Especially not Clayton."

"I won't. I promise," Carmen reassured her.

A ding came from Alexas back pocket and she rose from the bed to take her phone out. She smiled as she read the message on the screen. "Speaking of Sophie, I've gotta go. She wants to wake up early tomorrow to go into the city."

"Lucky," Carmen groaned. Alexa looked up from her phone and felt guilty at the reminder that Carmen couldn't leave the compound without supervision.

"You could come with us, if you wanted to. Sophie and I could be your "chaperones"."

Carmen shrugged and took a deep breath. "Thanks, but it looks like I have plans tomorrow morning."

Alexa tilted her head in question.

"I have to train with Colton."

Carmen watched as a smile grew on her face. "You are?"

Carmen shrugged. "You're right. I guess he is too, I have to try."

Alexa nodded in agreement. "The sooner that you let people in, the easier it'll be."