Chapter 27

Never did I ever believe I'd be here. Prepping for states with the team, being with an amazing guy, or finally being happy after what happened in ninth grade. Simple as it was, I liked the simple life.

But simple never meant easy, necessarily.

I was sitting on the bleachers, taking a five minute break after nailing some hurdles. The team was looking good. Really good, actually. Technique was definitely improving among all of us, the possibility of winning states motivating every one of our steps and jumps. Even McKenna was improving. It pained me to admit she was getting really good; dang that really pained me to admit.

The breeze of the wind and chirping of the birds filled my ears as I drank from my water bottle, but the serene moment soon ended when a screech interrupted it.

"Get over here, you-you bitch!" Holly shouted across the field to where the team and I were practicing, making eye contact directly to me. Everybody practicing stopped as we all turned to look at her, and she was not looking good.

Mascara and eyeliner was running down her face, streaking her foundation. Her red lipstick was smudged from her tears. I felt bad for her, although I don't know why I did.

Xander jogged up to my side and put his hand on my lower back. Whether the sweet action was to show Holly that he was mine or to comfort me, I enjoyed it very much so.

"Now, kid, we're practicing right now so if you-" Coach said, trying to get her to leave.

"Shut it, old man!" She narrowed her deadly eyes at him. It made the 54 year old man zip his mouth immediately.

"Is 'bitch' the only word in your vocabulary, Holly?" I crossed my arms with a tilt of my head. "I wouldn't be surprised."

I couldn't let Holly be so rude. Life was treating me amazingly recently, and it was my job to make sure it stayed that way.

She rolled her eyes and ungracefully stomped through the grass, her heels sinking into the dirt. "I heard from a little birdie recently that you and Xander are...exclusive."

"That is true," Xander said with a curt nod, wrapping his arm tighter around my waist.

"What the hell!" She shouted, looking at McKenna. "You're useless! All you had to do was keep them away from each other!"

"Don't speak to my daughter like that!" Coach said with an angry expression. "Do you want to see the principal?"

"I can get you fired," Holly told Coach. "My family donates to this school, idiot. We funded this field. So, you're welcome. I basically provided you with a job."

McKenna was wide-eyed; she reminded me of a puppy. "I-I'm sorry, Holly. I tried, but they're, like, really cute together."

"That's it! You're uninvited to my annual sleepover this weekend!"

"Wait- no!" McKenna said, throwing her hands up in distress with a worried expression. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it!"

Then my dense self finally realized something in that moment- Holly was lost. She used her money as a strategy to attract friends and boys, but money doesn't last forever or grant everything in the world.

Holly uses the money to try and buy a heart when really, she just needs to find someone to care for hers.

Only then did I realize that I shouldn't have been so relentlessly rude to her, but rather listened to her cries of help, disguised as insults.

"Holly, I think you should leave," I told her with a tilt of my head and furrowed brows. I felt Xander's arms embrace my waist tighter, and I had to bite my lip to prevent myself from smiling at the feeling. "You're not needed here, but I honestly hope you find some sort of source of love and attention in your life." I looked up at Xander. "I think it's something everybody deserves."

"UGH!" She screamed, wiping the drops of blackened tears off her face and stomping her heel into the mud before running off the field. Or rather, attempting to run without tripping in her 5-inch stilettos. "I-I'll deal with all of you later!"

We all looked after her with only one thing filling our eyes and hearts--pity.

Xander spun me around to face him, and I propped my hands up on his chest as he quickly pecked my nose.

"You handled that well. I'm proud of you, gem."

I looked up at him. His golden hair sparkled under the sunlight, as if he was made of gold or something.

A sigh escaped my mouth. "I feel bad for her, Alexander. And I don't know how I can fix it."

I heard a slight chuckle from someone beside Xander. I tilted my head up and was met with Tommy's eyes. I felt Xander tighten his grip on my waist when he heard Tommy. I couldn't say I hated when Xander would get all possessive when Tommy was around; the small, subtle action just meant he liked me. Everything Xander does for me is an unsaid "I love you," and I knew I had to return his endless generosity soon. But how?

"Oh, Rory," he said after his little chuckle. "You don't need to fix everything or everyone."

"And what exactly do you mean by that, Tom Tom?" I asked with a tilt of my head and Xander released me from his hold.

"I mean that it's okay for you to focus on yourself, kid. It's not your job to help other people find happiness."

Xander nodded. "I agree, gem." He put his hands on my shoulders, staring me directly in the eyes. "You have to find happiness yourself first."

I sent him and Tommy a confused look, then I turned to look at our team- at Coach Segal, McKenna, Cooper, every other guy on this team who has become family. I thought of Michael and Sabrina and Olivia. My parents, too. That although they weren't with me everyday since they sent me off to boarding school, they still would support me in everything, no matter how they chose to show that.

A smile slithered its way onto my face.

I spun back around to face Xander and Tommy.

"I already found happiness, guys."

***

"Yikes, that sounds rough," Sabrina said, taking a gulp from her chilled water bottle.

I had just explained the situation with Holly and her minion McKenna, and to say the least, Olivia's face displayed anger whereas Sabrina's showed the exact opposite-- pity.

I rolled my eyes as I remembered Holly's toddler tantrum from earlier. "Seriously, I feel bad for her."

At the beginning of the year, I never would've guessed I'd ever be feeling bad for someone who probably doesn't deserve my pity, but the thing was, she did deserve pity. She grew up with no attention, hence her unquenchable thirst for it, but she looks for attention in all the wrong places. Like in guys who pretend to care about her for one night, in plastic-hearted girls who look up to her, and even in those who hate her because at the end of the day, if people hate her, that is still attention. And attention is the water she needs to thrive.

"I don't get how you feel bad for that bitch!" Olivia yelled as she painted green on her nails. When I asked her why green, she replied that it was Cooper's favorite color. I rolled my eyes at that one, but it was predictable.

Sabrina shook her head in disagreement. "It's understandable, you know. What she does and everything. I feel for her. Poor girl," she said while shaking her head in pity for Holly.

"She's going through her own version of hell," I said monotonously. "And we're all still getting through our own personal hell. Who even knows if it'll ever end."

"Anyways onto more cheery things," Sabrina said, ending that topic as she pulled her hair into a high bun, "how's Xander so far, Rory?" Sabrina sent me a knowing smile.

Olivia suddenly dropped her green nail polish brush into its bottle and stared up at me with eyes the size of saucepans, as if to put all her attention on me and the new topic. "Yeah, Rory, how's Xandy?" She wiggled her eyebrows at me with a grin.

I rolled my eyes and let out a sigh. "You guys are the worst! Interrogating me like this." I shook my head and laughed under my breath.

"Wanna fill us in before, I don't know, our 64th birthdays?"

I narrowed my eyes at Liv and her remark before a ghost of a smile graced my lips from remembering what happened with Xander. "He, um, said he loved me. Well, in love with me, actually."

Then the small dorm room erupted with squeals, thanks for Sabrina and Olivia. Anyone passing by on the outside would have thought I'm fostering pigs in here or something.

"Oh my god!" Sabrina squealed. And she never squeals. "It's been, what, a month? Michael and I said we loved each other after half a year of dating!"

"They're going fast," Olivia said suggestively with a wink. Shortly after she blew up in squeals again, shaking her head in excitement. "And what did you say, Rory?"

I lowered my head to let my hair cover the red blush arising on my cheeks. "I, uh..."

"No," Sabrina whispered, her voice a mixture of shock and disappointment. "You didn't say you loved him back, did you?"

I didn't say anything, but my sheepish facial expression displayed my guilt.

"You love him, though, don't you?" Sabrina egged on.

My mouth unintentionally sprouted into a full-on grin at the thought of possibly being in love with Xander. Undoubtedly, I loved him. But to be in love with him? Maybe.

Olivia's jaw dropped and she just stared at me. "You so do! Rory is in love with Xandy!"

"Better close your mouth," I started, "Cooper isn't around, and you'll catch flies if you don't close it." I sent her a teasing smile as she closed her mouth.

She sent me her best death glare. I winked and blew her a cheeky kiss in return. She laughed in response.

Sabrina put her hand on my shoulder in support. "And Xander knows about your, um, past?"

I nodded, averting eye contact. I'd rather not talk about my past, but I told Sabrina a few weeks ago when I realized she was becoming one of my closest friends and she had the right to know me, the full version of me.

Olivia, sobered up from her fit of laughs, turned serious. She could be mature when she sensed she had to be. "That's good. He's really good for you, Rory."

I leaned on my elbow on the floor, my back getting strained from sitting slouched for too long. "And why do you say that?"

"He's made you come out of your shell more. You were a caterpillar a few months ago," Olivia said with a wide, teeth-baring smile, "but now you're a whole fricken butterfly!"

"So you mean 'come out of her cocoon' if she's a butterfly?" Sabrina correctly with a smug grin.

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Blah, blah, I'm Sabrina. I know the difference between a crab analogy and a butterfly analogy, blah!" She rambled on like a whiny five-year-old child.

***

Wow. I haven't been on here for a long time. And I'm sorry. I just lost sight of what makes me happy and that's you guys. This community. Writing this book, even when I feel like I can't write properly. Thank you, though, for sticking with me. I love you so so much. This book is almost over and that makes me kinda sad, but I'm excited for future books and for what's to come!

lastly, don't forget to vote or comment and questions, comments, or concerns!

-s.