Chapter 23
Midnight Secrets
Addie looked the same as always, only without the dark makeup, but as her roommate, Iâd seen her without it every night and morning. But even so, it was almost like looking at a stranger with how little I seemed to know about her. I couldnât reconcile that she turned into a giant wolf; it was too hard for my brain to process.
Her gaze met mine, and I could see the apprehension clear as day, not only in her expression but in the way she kept balling up her napkin and smoothing it out. She was wary of how Iâd react, possibly anxious as to whether or not Iâd be disgusted now that I knew she turned into an animal.
I didnât care about that. The only thing that bothered me was how she kept it from me.
Derek stood from the table and took his coffee with him as he headed for the front door. âIâll give you some privacy.â
âIâm so sorry I never told you,â Addie said in a rush the moment the front door clicked shut.
âIs it because you donât trust me?â I asked, remaining in the doorway with my hand still on the doorknob.
Addie vehemently shook her head as her hands stilled on the napkin. âNo, I know you would never tell anyone. I wouldâve told you before now, butââ She cut off her words, biting her bottom lip. It was her tell when she nearly revealed something she realized at the last second that she shouldnât.
I didnât say anything as I crossed my arms and leaned my shoulder against the door frame, waiting her out.
âScrew it,â she muttered under her breath as she shoved the balled-up napkin away. âCassius came to me early on in your freshman year and told me in no uncertain terms was I to tell you what I am. He said he wanted you to be kept away from the supernatural world.â
My shoulder slipped on the door frame, and I stumbled to right myself. âHe what?â
âIt confused the hell out of me until you told me you used to know him.â
I was still struggling with how to take this new information bomb, my mouth opening and closing, but no words came out at first. âWhy would he do such a thing?â It was one thing if he didnât trust me to know his secret, but to decide I wasnât allowed to know anything about this world was a different thing entirely.
âHe probably thought he was doing the right thing to keep you safe.â Addie folded her hands together on the table as she held my gaze, her expression pleading for me to understand. âYou have to realize how dangerous our world is for humans. Once youâre in the know, you sort of become a part of our world, and itâs nearly impossible to separate yourself from it. Ask Derek. Heâs never had a chance to live a normal life.â
My anger cooled a fraction as I thought over her words and crossed the room to take a seat in the empty chair across from her. âDid you know Ezra is a vampire?â She had also been against me taking a night class when I first told her and tried talking me out of it.
âNot until the attack, and even then, it was only a suspicion until Cassius confirmed it. I had wanted to tell you, but not only did he insist I not say anything, but telling someone that a vampire might be stalking them isnât exactly reassuring. I arrogantly assumed that being surrounded by werewolves and having them escort you from class, heâd lose interest. Vampires usually only go after convenient preyââshe winced and gave me an apologetic lookââand rarely go through the effort of stalking someone for weeks. Some of them have grown bored of easy killings and desire the hunt, but they usually back down if another supernatural gets involved.â
âIs this supposed to make me feel better?â I wasnât under the illusion that to the supernatural world, humans were anything but prey, but knowing it and hearing about it were two different things. How many times had I been close to death this past month and a half without knowing it?
âI regret not just ignoring Cassius and telling you before. I canât imagine how terrifying it mustâve been, dealing with Ezraâs mind games and not understanding what was happening.â Addie pressed her lips together and shook her head, making her loose hair flow around her face.
âI thought I was going insane.â
Addieâs features were awash in regret as her fingers drummed on the table. Her expression cleared before she reached down toward the floor and retrieved a cloth bag that she placed on the table. âI figured youâd need some clothes.â
âThank you,â I said with a relieved sigh. I was more than ready to get the hell out of these clothes and possibly even burn them.
The clothes were casual and comfortable, much like the ones I was wearing, but with the benefit of being clean. There was also a sports bra and a pair of shoes that were close enough to my size. My feet were sore and sensitive from last night, causing me to limp.
Addie was still sitting at the table when I came out of the bathroom, stifling a yawn. She looked exhaustedâlike she was ready to fall asleep at the table. She was already halfway there with her head propped up on her hand. âDid you get any sleep last night?â I asked as I retook my seat at the table. I figured sheâd been out running with the pack since it was a full moon, and Iâd heard howls throughout the night.
âWe never get any sleep on the night of a full moon,â Addie said, yawning again as she sat upright. Whenever she had her monthly plans in the past, she always returned in the afternoon, and she was always out of sorts, and now I knew why.
âYou havenât gone to sleep yet because of me,â I surmised, feeling guilty she was forcing herself to stay awake.
âBeing a little tired wonât kill me.â She waved away my concern. âYou must have a lot of questions.â
I did, I just hadnât wanted to bombard her with them, but now that she gave me permission, I let a couple of them loose. âDo you have to shift on the full moon? Is the full moon the only time you can shift?â
Addie let out a tired chuckle as she took a sip of the coffee sitting in front of her. âWhen we start shifting at thirteen, we have no choice but to shift. As we get older, itâs easier to resist the pull of the full moon. I can probably stay human for an hour before I give in to the pull. And no, the full moon isnât the only time we can shift. I could shift right now, although Iâd rather not.â
âIs it genetic?â I asked, resting my forearms on the table as I leaned forward.
âYes. The myth of a werewolf bite turning you is bullshit. So is drinking from a wolfâs paw print.â
âGross,â I muttered, scrunching up my nose.
My body stiffened as I finally put two and two together. âWait, you said you shift at thirteen?â
âYep, the first full moon after our thirteenth birthday is the first time we shift. I had to wait nearly a month for mine since the full moon was only a couple of days before my birthday,â she said, rolling her eyes.
âCassius moved right after his thirteenth birthday,â I whispered, finally realizing why I was ghosted.
The knowledge didnât necessarily make me feel better, but it was good to finally have context.
Addie nodded, not appearing surprised. âI always figured that was the cause. I wouldâve told you sooner, butââ
âYou couldnât do so without revealing your secret.â
Addie hesitated as indecision shadowed her expression. âSpeaking of Cassius, you should probably know Iâm not the only one still awake. If Alpha Sebastian hadnât forbidden him from coming here, heâd probably be here now.â
My jaw dropped once again as I gaped at her. âWhat?â
âSebastian figured you were most likely overwhelmed by the attack and everything else. He thought my presence would be more welcome, so he permitted me to come here.â She let out a low whistle as she shook her head. âCassius was pissed. If Sebastian hadnât expressly forbidden him from leaving the pack house, he probably wouldâve disobeyed his orders.â
All I could do was sit here, stunned into silence by what Addie just revealed. I glanced out the small window over the sink, squinting at the sunlight peeking through the trees. It was hard to gauge the time from just looking outside. My focus drifted back inside, looking for a clock. I finally found a digital clock above the stove that told me it was nearly eight in the morning. No wonder I was still exhausted.
Knowing it wasnât too late into the morning made me feel slightly less guilty that she was still awake, but she wasnât the only one. Even though I was still pissed at him for lying to me and making Addie lie to me, I still wantedâneeded to see him.
The thought that he was forcing himself to stay awake didnât sit right with me and had me feeling anxious. It would be cruel of me to allow him to beat himself up for not being there and worrying about me.
âSo, heâs at the pack house?â I couldnât help but ask, feeling the need to see him and ask him a shit ton of questions.