Chapter 20

Octavia:

November twelfth.

We walked together in silence, his arm occasionally brushing up against mine causing a soft electric current to flow up and down my arm.

I felt like a total moron. I mean my mate kisses me and I run and hide. Who even does that? Me apparently. Also, to make it worse, I'm a stuttering, stumbling mess around him. It's like any little ounce of hate I had for him went flying out of the window the moment he kissed me.

Every time I think of him kidnapping me and keeping me hostage... I don't feel this white hot anger anymore. Not the way I used too. I just feel sad and confused. Confused as to why he would treat me so awfully.

I miss my family.

"What are you thinking of?" He nudges me lightly with his elbow. I look up at him to find his ocean like eyes already focused on my face.

"Honestly?" I ask, not sure whether I should bring up the topic of my family. I didn't want to ruin the mood or moment, but I couldn't help but think of them. All the time.

"Of course." He nods and shoves his hands into the pockets of his jogging pants.

"I miss my family." I shrug as if it's no big deal. I tried to make it seem like no big deal anyway, I've been spending a lot of time with the children these last two days. Reading to them and watching them interact with other children and their families. I miss mine. I miss my siblings. It hurts knowing that I haven't seen them in months and that I may never see them again.

"I'm sorry. I wish I could relate to that." He adds the last part jokingly.

"What do you mean? Your family is here. Cipher, Alexander and Christina." I was slightly confused. He didn't have to miss them because they're always around.

"Alexander is my uncle and Christina is his mate. My parents are dead." He says softly, but no hint of sadness nor regret in his tone. It's like he didn't care that he didn't miss them.

"How did they die?" I ask. He didn't seem disturbed or upset about their death so I figured he wouldn't mind me asking such a question.

He clears his throat before answering, "My mother killed herself and my father was murdered."

I press my lips together, trying my hardest not to let my shock seep through. I don't know what to say. Should I apologize for his loss? He doesn't seem shaken up at all.

"That's awful." I breathe out. We were just a few feet away from the gym and training field when he stopped in his tracks, causing me to stop too.

I turn to face him. He's looking down at his shoes, thinking. I don't say anything. We stand there for a few minutes, in silence before he looks up at me. His blue eyes were hurt and almost angry. Part of me was scared. Is he upset with me? Did I say or do something wrong?

"Octavia..." He trails off and looks away for a moment. His eyes scan the tree line before they meet mine again. "My parents were terrible people. They weren't fit to be leaders, friends or family to anyone. I don't want you to ever feel sorry about their death, because it was the best thing that happened to this pack, to Cipher, and to me."

I nod my head slowly. My heart hurt and contracted in my chest. It was unfair to anyone who grew up without a loving mother or father. "Okay, I understand."

"Thank you." He says taking a few steps towards me. I give him a sad smile and he surprisingly wraps his arms around me, pulling me into a hug. I didn't know how to react at first, but after a few moments I relaxed into his arms. I allowed myself to breathe in his scent and to bury my face into his chest. This is a little weird considering our history... but I feel good. I feel safe.

"Speaking of family, I'm surprised that your friend hasn't asked to go home yet." He pulls away and we begin walking to the gym again. As if it was natural for us to hug things out like that.

"Oh yeah, I'm sure she's just trying to absorb everything. Plus, we needed time to catch up you know?" I say as he opens the door and allows me to walk into the noisy room.

"Yeah, sure. I just think it's strange how she's fine one minute and then the next she's shaken up and scared that Jalex will kill her for telling us anything she knows about him." He shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly but I could see that he's given this some thought.

I mean I guess it's true. Whenever Ajax asks Siren a question about Jalex she practically shakes in her boots. When she's around me she's bright and happy, never even mentions a peep about what happened to her when she was with that man.

"I guess. It could be that she's just traumatized by something he did to her and maybe it's her weird way of coping with it." I try to reason. I don't see why Siren would keep anything from me. It just doesn't make sense. We tell each other everything, no matter what.

"For your sake, I hope so." He mutters before walking into the middle of the room and grabbing everyone's attention.

I stay behind and remain standing by the door, allowing his words to sink in. Siren's on and off, hot and cold behavior has been kind of strange. I subconsciously scan the room for my gorgeous best friend. I find her standing in the corner flirting with Weston, the third in command and head of warrior training. Her brown locks were pulled into a high pony and she was batting her lashes at Weston, who was eating it all up.

This was normal of her. She loves boys and she loves to mess with them. Flirt with them openly, date them, and then leave them hanging. Weston didn't really deserve that but maybe he could be the one. The one to change her mind and get her to settle down.

There's absolutely no way she could be keeping anything big from me. She hasn't gone home because of me. Right? Because she wants to spend more time with me.

"Alright! That's it! I wanna see you guys train hard and well. Split up!" Ajax says loudly and with a clap of his hands everyone's off. The crowd disperses. People leave to spar and other start their cardio work outs and weight lifting.

I on the other hand could really use a run to clear my head.

"Let's go." Ajax says walking up to me. I could feel my eyebrows furrow.

"Huh?"

He grabs me by the elbow and pulls me over to a sparing mat. He places me on one end before walking over to the end.

"Show me what you've got." He takes a fighting stance and all I could do is raise my eyebrows and scoff in shock.

"This is a joke right?"

He smirks and shakes his head "no".

"But—"

"Hey, Octavia!" Weston calls out my name as he jogs his way over to Ajax and I.

"Alpha, Luna." He greets us with bow of his head before turning to me. "I'm sorry to interrupt but I have a question. Your friend, Siren, she's not seeing anyone is she?"

"No, I don't think so why?" I tilt my head slightly like a perplexed puppy. Why is he asking me this? Wasn't he just flirting with her not even two minutes ago?

"Oh," His cheeks redden as he begins to rub the back of his neck nervously. "I asked her out on a date and she turned me down pretty harshly."

"Oh no. I'm sorry Weston." I look around the room for Siren. She's off to the left stretching on a mat getting ready to spar with Cipher.

"No its okay, if I'm being honest it is kind of a first for me to get turned down." He says quickly. I felt pretty bad. It's so unlike Siren to be rude. It's also unlike her to turn down a date.

I was going to apologize once more but someone called out Weston's name grabbing his attention. A large man was waving him over to the weight room. He quickly said goodbye before heading over to the man.

"So you're friends a bit of a player, huh?" Ajax says getting closer to me so that the people around us wouldn't hear.

"What makes you say that?"

"Well, Sam got turned down by her yesterday. She said he's just not her type and should stick to blonde bimbos because those are the only type of girls that'll be interested in him."

My jaw dropped. What? Siren would never say anything like that. Plus, she was just raving about how hot Weston and Sam are a few days ago. "No. There's no way—"

"Why would Sam lie about something like that?" He asks crossing his arms over his chest and taking a macho stance. He was trying to prove a point and I hate to say it but I'm starting to believe him.

"She just like to mess with boys." I sigh trying to shake this awful feeling. I don't know who I'm trying to convince anymore. Ajax or myself.

"People aren't toys, you can't just play with them and then dump them when you find a shiny new toy." He rolls his eyes. He was clearly becoming annoyed with the subject and possibly with me as well. It's not my fault though. I've known Siren since we were children.

My loyalties lie with her and vice versa. She wouldn't keep anything from me or put me in danger. Not on purpose.

"You know that's ironic coming from you, considering you threw me around like rag doll." I roll my eyes back at him.

"Well nows the perfect chance to get back at me." He smirks and takes a few steps back. "I need to see your fighting skills, so we can work on what needs improvement."

"Ughhh." I moan. I really didn't want to fight him. He's a foot taller than me and at least sixty pounds heavier than me. He could kick my ass every single time if I'm not careful. Also, it's a bit triggering. We've fought physically many times before and it's never ended well for me.

"Come on. You could have the upper hand. Your small, lean and fast. Stop second guessing yourself." He takes a fighting stance and I copy him. His voice was serious and his eyes focused on sharply, watching me carefully.

I let out an uneasy breath before inhaling once more. I can do this. Just kick his ass Octavia. He's hurt you in so many ways and now you can finally get back at him. Once and for all.

I don't hesitate before kicking him straight in the gut and ducking to avoid his flying fist. I swing at him landing in a few good punches. He pushes me back slightly. I can tell he's holding back, trying not to hurt me.

Funny, cause I plan on doing the exact opposite. No holding back.

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