Chapter 26: Close

***WARNING: MOOD SWINGS***

The movie finishes. Neither of us make any move to get up, or put any space between us. Instead, we stay there, cuddled up together, for possibly hours. I can't bring myself to move. I've also rationalized it for myself: Darla said he wants affection and validation. And any question not answered by that reasoning, I'm not thinking about.

Instead, I'm focusing on him. Curled up in my arms, hugging me. I feel... content. I tell myself it's because he seems happier now.

"Todd?" he asks quietly, breaking the silence that's been marinating for hours (I found a clock underneath the TV. It actually has been several hours- since we ate lunch, anyways).

"Yeah?"

"Why did you seem upset at school, yesterday?"

My stomach lurches. I'd completely forgotten about that. I honestly don't know what to say.

"Was it because of me?" he asks, his voice even softer.

"I-" I sigh. The truth. The truth is always the best option. Tell the truth. "I didn't want... to see. If you had a new friend."

He's quiet for a moment. "I didn't."

"But I didn't want to look to see, because I didn't want to see..." How the heck do I say that I felt disappointed because I thought he'd dropped me, and I didn't want to face the reality of his new friends every few days?

"You don't want me to have friends?"

Well, when he puts it like that, I seem very clingy. "No, no- I just... I..." I sigh again, closing my eyes. "I don't want... I don't want you to just... walk out of my life entirely. Suddenly." This conversation is getting more painful with every step closer it gets to my constant feeling of tentativeness, of my very real and ceaseless fear that he'll drop me any second. My in-advance disappointment.

"I told you last night that you're welcome here anytime. And you're the first person to come to my house more than once."

I don't have any way of getting here without him actively bringing me, I want to say. "Because I'm still interesting, and Raymond liked me," I say instead, because those were his reasons for why he brought me to his house more than once.

"You are interesting," he says, and his voice is quiet again. "You're fascinating."

But that might not always be enough, I want to say. Someday, he'll figure me out entirely, and since it takes him one day or less for him to figure out everyone else, I can't imagine it'll take him too long. And then what? Then, I won't be so interesting anymore, and I'll get dropped like a hot potato? I don't want that. I want to keep him, as a friend. I don't say any of those things, though, because this conversation has been hard enough already, and I kind of just want it to be over, and I also don't want to upset him.

So we're both silent again. Neither of us move, except for him to restart the movie. We watch it again, and once it finishes, we sit there in silence until I hear the basement door open.

"Boys! Dinnertime!"

The door closes again. I inhale and exhale, not really wanting to get up. He squeezes me a little tighter for a moment, then shifts a little. After another moment, he sighs.

"I'm not going to get up. You first."

"That won't be any more effective," I mumble.

"Alright. Drastic measures."

I'm about to ask what that means, but then he suddenly pushes off the blanket. It's immediately cold- all of the trapped heat is gone. We both groan a little, and he pushes closer to me.

"That's worse. Definitely worse."

I force myself to muster all my willpower, then slowly let go of him and push myself off the couch, leaning down to pick up the blanket. I wrap it around myself and hold out one arm to him. He unfurls and stands up as well, snuggling into my side. I put my arm back around him, though it's a little harder now that we're standing, because he's taller than me. He smirks a little and takes the corners of the blanket, wrapping his arms around me. I lean into him, basking in the warmth, then tug on him a little.

"Come on. Dinner."

He gives me a small smile, and we start towards the stairs. It's not the easiest thing. It's very bumpy. His arms are still around me, and unless our steps are perfectly synchronized (and he has longer legs than me) we end up jostling each other. It's kind of funny, though, and when I glance at him, he's still smiling, so he must think so too.

When we finally get to the stairs, I sigh a little and look up at him. "You can take the blanket."

He looks at me for a moment, then hugs me a little tighter, and a second later drops the blanket entirely. I lean into him inadvertently, feeling the absence of the blanket's warmth. He rubs my shoulders gently, then lets go of me entirely and slips his hand into mine as he starts going upstairs. I follow him, still trying to adjust to the sudden lack of warmth.

Fortunately, when we get to the kitchen, it's very warm. There are billowing clouds of steam near where Tommy's dad is cooking, and Darla smiles once she sees us.

"Do you like spaghetti, Todd?"

"I love it, thank you so much for having me."

She waves a hand. "Oh, please. You're a joy to have around."

"Thank you," I say, smiling, and Tommy tugs me towards the counter. We both sit, and he takes the wrist of my hand he's holding and inspects my palm for a moment. "How is it?"

"Good."

He nods and examines it, then looks back at me. "Where do you want to eat?"

"I'm good with wherever."

"Want to go up to my room, then? I can play Mario Kart, you can do your homework."

"Sounds perfect." I'd be lying if I said I haven't been a little worried about getting it all done by Monday.

He gives me another small smile. I return it, and a moment later his dad slides two bowls of spaghetti with tomato sauce and meatballs across the counter.

"Thank you, it looks so good," I tell him, and he gives me a smile and a nod before Tommy grabs my wrist and tugs me out of the kitchen. I barely have enough time to grab my bowl before we're gone. We go up to his room (the one across from the best bathroom in the world) and he turns on the TV, then pulls over a table and puts his bowl on it. I do the same and sit on the edge of the bed, then realize I don't actually have my homework. It's in my backpack, which I left at my house in anticipation of the weekend 'camping trip'.

He crawls onto the bed as well, wrapping both arms around me. "What's wrong?"

"That obvious?" I feel like I've been punched in the stomach, honestly. And I'm sure I've gone completely pale. It's not surprising that he noticed.

"Yes. What is it?"

"I left my backpack at home," I mumble. "It has my homework assignments in it."

He releases me, then gets off the bed and straight up leaves the room. I watch after him for a second, suddenly scared that I might have offended him or something. My panic grows with every second, and by the time that he gets back, my stomach is a churning pit of anxiety and dread. He's holding his backpack, and comes over to the bed, still not saying anything. He digs through it for a second, then pulls out a few papers and hands them to me. It's the English assignment, a poetry analysis. He gives me another one, the calculus study guide, and then the physics worksheet. Then he wraps himself around me again.

"Better?"

I exhale a little, relief washing over me. "Yeah. But, don't you have to do them, too?"

He snorts a little and doesn't respond. I smile and roll my eyes, not surprised at all. I put them on the table, then pause and turn my head in his direction. "Thank you."

He nods a little and places a pencil and eraser on the table. "Of course."

I eat and do the homework assignments while he plays Mario Kart. He stays where he is to play, hugging me from behind and holding the controller in my lap, resting his chin on my shoulder to see the screen. It's surprisingly comfortable, and I don't feel awkward at all, despite basically being nestled between his legs. It feels natural, actually, to be this close to him, this intimately affectionate. It feels normal. And for possibly the first time since he came into my life, I feel genuinely calm.

Thoughts on the chapter? What do you think of the millionaire asking about Todd being upset at school? And Todd's fear? How about the millionaire giving Todd his homework? And the way they're sitting at the end?

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