Chapter 42: Alone

***WARNING: MOOD SWINGS***

I keep the car he gave me at the school parking lot. It's better protected there than it would be at my house, probably- it would essentially be sitting in my driveway, where a) my parents could see it, b) it could get stolen, or c) any other number of things could happen to it. So it's at school, and that seems to work.

I continue to walk to school every morning. On Monday, he's showing off a new car in front of the school. When he sees me, he parks and gets out immediately to walk to English together. On Tuesday, I find him leaning against his already-parked car, wearing sunglasses and doing something on his phone. Or, at least he seems to be, but when he spots me, his phone is completely forgotten and he's got an arm around my shoulder as we go inside the school together.

On Wednesday, he's not there.

Immediately, alarm bells start ringing in my head. I try to calm down, decide that he could just be late.

I enter the school alone, for the first time in what feels like forever. People see me without him at my side, his arm slung around my shoulder, and immediately start whispering. I catch the words 'break up' and 'cheating on him' and numerous other things. I don't even care. The only thing I care about is him. Just late. Just late. Just late.

The first period bell rings, with the seat next to me still painfully empty. Mr. Hawkes looks a little surprised to see me alone, and possibly a little confused, but he doesn't make any move to ask me about it. It's a bit of a relief, because I don't know what I'd say if he did.

English passes at an excruciatingly slow pace. I keep looking at the door, waiting for him to come in. He doesn't. By the time the bell finally rings, signalling the end of first period, there's a pit in my stomach. Please let him be late.

Calculus passes without any sign of him. By now, people have started to notice how desperately I'm glancing at the door every five seconds, and that's somehow twisted into confirmation that we've 'broken up'. More specifically, that he's broken up with me and I'm in denial. It's ridiculous, and I don't have time for it.

Lunch hour finally comes around, and I immediately pull out my phone to text him.

Sent 12:00 PM

Are you okay?

I try to remember if his parents took his phone away the last time he was in a not-the-best mood. Maybe if they did, they'd still pass the message on? Would that make it better or worse?- no, I'm sure they'd only do something if they thought it would make it better. I huff a little, frustrated that I can't do anything right now. Well, maybe there is, but I don't know about it. I press my lips into a thin line and type out another text.

Sent 12:01 PM

If there's anything I can do, just let me know.

I wait all of lunch hour. He doesn't respond.

Maybe it's fine. Maybe he's sleeping. Maybe he's sick. Maybe he has a migraine. Maybe he's sick, has a migraine, and is currently sleeping. Maybe-

Biology is the slowest class of the day. He's not in it, so I wouldn't actually know if he did show up to school. Though, regardless of the reason for his absence, it's doubtful that would happen at this point.

Still. Biology takes forever. And I'm hardly even paying attention to Mrs. Lawrence. It doesn't matter, I can study and learn everything later. I'm just so worried about him. I hope he's okay. I hope...

Physics is a bit of a relief, because at least I'll know if he shows up. Though, even if he could come to school for physics, it's unlikely. It's fourth period- the drive wouldn't even be worth it. I don't stop looking at the door, though, because I can't stop thinking about him and worrying about him and even if I try to at least pretend I'm listening to Ms. Jenson, my gaze goes right back to the door less than ten seconds later. I hope he's okay. I hope he's taking care of himself, his parents are taking care of him. I hope he doesn't feel alone. I hope-

"Todd?"

My eyes snap to Ms. Jenson, who's fixed me with a beady-eyed glare.

"Sorry?"

She arches an eyebrow at me. She's seemed to develop a bit of a dislike for me since I started coming to class and sitting with him. I don't really worry about it, because it's physics- it's either the right answer or it's not, so she can't really mark me down a ton. And even if she did, that'd be based on who I associate with, which is hardly reasonable. Plus, I care about him way more than her.

"Explain polarization."

"The filtering of transverse light waves." I know it's basic, but physics seems so trivial right now. My mind is completely occupied by worry for him.

"That's all?"

"Is that wrong?"

She tilts her head, giving me a bit of an icy look. "Not necessarily, but your explanations are usually much more thorough."

"My apologies," I state without much of an apologetic tone. She glares and continues her lecture.

After what feels like forever, the dismissal bell rings. Finally. I rapidly dial his cell phone. A few moments later, the line picks up.

"Hi, Todd." It's Darla. "Henry's having a bit of a day-"

"Is he okay?"

"Well, physically. Emotionally..." she trails off, leaving a note of uncertainty. My heart breaks a little bit for him.

"Can I come over?"

"Are you sure? You don't have to. He'll be at school tomorrow."

"I want to. If that'd be okay. If it would help, even a little bit." I'm already rapidly walking out of the school, towards the car he gave me as a birthday present (I still can't call it mine).

"I'm sure he'd love to see you, Todd. But know that you don't need to. You have no obligation-"

"I'll be there in twenty minutes."

"Alright." She pauses, before saying (with a note of relief in her voice), "You're an angel, Todd."

I hang up and pull out of the school's parking lot, driving to my house first and writing a quick note that I'm going to a friend's house, before getting back into my car and starting on my way to his house.

I told Darla twenty minutes, but I make it in ten.

As soon as I pull up to the house, I practically run up to the door, knocking.

The door opens, revealing a slightly more tired than normal Darla. She gives me a small smile, but before she can say anything, he appears behind her.

"Todd?"

"Yeah."

He nearly bowls me over, wrapping his arms around me in a tight embrace. I hug him back, breathing a little easier now that I'm with him.

"Todd..." he mumbles into my shoulder.

"I'm right here," I assure him, and I feel him take a deep breath before drawing away.

"Are you staying?"

"I'll stay as long as you need me to."

"What about your parents?"

I shake my head. "I left them a note. They can call me if they need anything else. I'm staying."

The look on his face can only be described as relief. "Thank you," he whispers.

"Of course. Always," I tell him, and I mean it. It's not a difficult decision. If he wants me here, that's where I'll always be.

We go down to the basement, and he goes to the home theatre. Whatever he was watching before I showed up is paused. He sits on the couch in the front row, and I sit next to him. He shifts closer, then curls up to me. I put my arms around him carefully, not sure if that's what he wants. When he shuffles closer again, I take that as an affirmative and hug him a little tighter. He rests his head on my shoulder, sighing a little.

The movie is a sad one. It's a good indicator of his mood. It also makes me cry. And while I usually try to avoid movies that make me cry (most can, honestly), it doesn't even occur to me to be self-conscious. I can feel him shuddering with sobs in my arms, so I hold him a little tighter.

Once it ends, he turns his head to bury his face in my shirt. I ignore my own tears and reach up to run my fingers through his hair. That seems to soothe him a little, though his sobs seem to be refreshed every few minutes in a vicious cycle. I don't mind. I have a feeling this has nothing to do with the movie, and I'd rather be with him than let him go through this alone. I never want him to feel alone.

Thoughts on the chapter? The millionaire's absence? The resulting rumours that Todd and the millionaire broke up? And Todd going to see him?

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