Chapter 44: Calm

"So, how are you feeling about the physics test on Monday?" he asks me as we're going down to the school parking lot. It's Friday, finally.

I shrug. "Fine, but I'm still going to study."

"I wouldn't expect otherwise. Also, is Ms. Jenson giving you dirty looks?"

"I don't think she likes me as much as she used to," I muse, and he snorts.

"You don't say. It's because you hang out with me now, right?"

"I mean, probably, but I care about you more than her." I intentionally don't state the manner in which I care about him. He smirks anyways.

"So, how does it feel to be on a teacher's bad side for once?"

"I mean, not that different. She's not super nice either way. The great thing is that it's physics, so it's not like she can mark me down on anything out of spite. The answer is either right or wrong."

"True." We reach his car, and he turns to me. "Wanna come to my place? We can go swimming again."

My pulse spikes a little bit at the idea of his pool. Maybe this time... a shiver travels up and down my spine at the thought, and I feel a little breathless. And how much I want to say yes is almost overwhelming. But... "Sorry. I need to study for the physics quiz."

He frowns a little. "You know everything, though. I've seen your notes. And you've been reviewing the lessons. Didn't you get 100% on a practice test you took yesterday?"

"I mean, yes, but knowing it yesterday and knowing it on Monday are two different things. And you know that I can't afford for those things to be different."

He hesitates. "Yeah, I guess."

I feel a little bad, still. I have been studying a lot more since Wednesday- reviewing my notes immediately after school, and taking a different practice test every second day (from the textbook, a workbook, or a website suggested by teachers). And I'm taking much more focused notes in class, meaning I'm basically talking to him during lunch hours and just after dismissal, before we go our separate ways. "I'm sorry, really. I... I just don't want to take any chances. Even just half a mark would be enough for my parents to lay down the law and cut me off from the outside world- and you."

"I know, and I hate the idea almost as much as you do- I would say as much, but it's your freedom at stake, and I don't want to undermine that. But, Todd, you were doing fine. Your marks were all 100% on Wednesday. Nothing changed, you don't need to work harder than you had been. You were fine."

"I know, and I'm sorry. I'm just... scared."

He gives me an understanding smile. "I know. It can't be fun to have that hanging above your head every minute, remembering it every time you start to forget and feel better."

"It's not," I agree, and he gives me another sad smile before tugging me towards him for a hug. I happily wrap my arms around him, snugly fitting into his tight embrace.

"Alright, then. I'll see you later, yeah?" He pulls away, and I nod as he gets into his car. He keeps his gaze on me, still smiling. "I'm here if you need anything. Or you can drive over to my place, and I'll be there if you need anything. Either works. And... my offer's still open. Let me know if you want to go swimming."

I blush, and he winks, smirking, before pulling away.

Over the weekend, I can hardly focus on studying. I keep thinking about him. His pool. What almost happened last time, and how it might actually happen if I took up his offer and...

Sunday morning, I decide that I've studied enough that I can take a break by going to his house to swim. I tell myself I'll be back by noon, which gives me two hours. I start by texting him.

Sent 9:54 AM

Hello?

Attractive Millionaire

Hey, how's physics? My pool and I are thinking of you and wishing you were here. Best regards from the best vacation hotspot in the whole entire world,

Spencer.

Sent 9:55 AM

Does that mean I can come over? I need a break from studying.

Attractive Millionaire

You can always come over. A L W A Y S. Want me to come pick you up?

Sent 9:55 AM

Sure, thanks.

He arrives about five minutes later. It takes all my willpower not to sprint out of my house and throw myself into his arms. Usually I go home with him on Fridays, and that's when we hang out. It's a massive relief to see him after depriving myself of that (though, my parents seemed quite happy when they found me at home, studying on Friday night).

"Hey. Miss me?" he asks with a smirk once I've closed the door behind me, and I blush, which I know gives him an affirmative answer. He smirks even more.

I get into his car, and he looks at me for a moment in that way- not the searching way, but the way he looks at me after one of Raymond's makeovers, or when I'm wearing his clothes. It makes me more than a little breathless, and my stomach starts doing enough flips to be an acrobat.

When he finally meets my eyes again, I can breathe again and ask, "Did you miss me?"

He smirks a little. "Awww, of course I did. And so did my pool."

He pulls out of the driveway while I blush again, even though it feels like he should be taking a turn blushing every once in a while instead of just me, constantly. He plays I'm a Believer on repeat on the ride to his house, and I'm flustered beyond words by the time we get to his house from him relentlessly teasing me through the lyrics. It's times like this when I'm painfully aware of how much I like him. And it feels like everything he does is just another reminder.

But the unfortunate thing is that liking him reminds me of how scared I am to lose him, and how easily that could happen by two means, now: either him disappearing from my life as quickly as he came (which I have no control over), or my parents cutting me off from him (which I do have control over). Since I can at least prevent the second one by keeping up my 100% average, I need to do that to the best of my ability. I need to do whatever I can to keep him in my life, which essentially boils down to, at this point (since I don't know what he wants from me): I need to study.

But I also can't stop thinking about him, so I need to see him as well, or maybe I was just trying to be too dramatic in my changes- maybe I just need to try and gently ease off being around him quite as much outside of school, so I can relearn how to focus on studying properly. I was able to do it before, right? Now I just need to do it again, with higher stakes: my freedom (it sounds dramatic, but that's basically what it is. No life outside of the house and school, no activities outside of studying, etc. etc.).

I follow him down to his pool, the butterflies in my stomach still as active as ever but my happiness and relief at being with him is now dampened by the dread of the studying rule being implemented. I can't risk being flippant and irresponsible with my time- two hours at his house, maximum.

I change into the swim trunks he gives me in the bathroom while he closes the doors and changes, then go back out to the pool area. He's giving me a sly smirk, which makes my pulse immediately increase a little.

"So, Todd, how's your studying going? Do you know everything already, and that's why you decided to come over?"

"No. I mean, I have gotten 100% on all the practice tests I've done. But I just needed to take a break from studying. I kept getting distracted."

He smirks even more at that. "Oh yeah? Distracted, you say?"

I blush at the suggestive tone in his voice and avert my eyes. "I do have to study more, later. The quiz is tomorrow."

He rolls his eyes at me before cannonballing into the pool. He resurfaces, then gives me a look. "I know that. Hey, why don't we study together?"

I would never get anything done in the same room as him. "I was going to do a practice test, actually. But next time."

"Okay."

Two hours later, I tell him I should get back to studying. I don't think either of us is happy about it.

So, what do you think of the chapter? Todd spending less time with the millionaire? How about his plan to ease off seeing the millionaire and start studying more? Ideas as to what might happen next?

If you enjoyed this chapter, please consider voting or commenting to let me know! Thank you so much for reading!