Chapter 27

I thought everything would go back to the way it was. Of course, it did...but why was I not happy?

I never thought that the desire to be happy or wanting something for myself was such a crime, because every time I wanted something, it was always taken away from me.

The more I fought for it, the more it drifted away from me...like my Abhi.

Since that night everything went back to the way it was when we were friends. He was not fighting with me anymore... It should have been good news, right? But something was missing.

It's as if he was avoiding me at the same time as being with me. It felt like there was a gap between us even though we were always together.

I could feel the bond between us starting to fade away.

The sad thing is, I didn't know if what I was feeling was real or if I was being paranoid. If it was real, I had no idea what the reason was.

Once I tried to ask him directly if something was wrong, but he assured me that everything was alright and he was just anxious about the finals.

He had less time for me because he was studying so hard for the finals. So I thought maybe I was paranoid and started concentrating on my own preparation for finals.

After he had reassured me, I brushed aside everything from my mind. But there was one thing I couldn't come to terms with.

Suddenly, Ananya barged into our lives again. It wasn't like he ignored her completely. He still considered her a friend even though we didn't get along well, but that didn't bother me until now.

They started getting closer than before, and they even went out together without me. This never happened before, even when we were just friends.

I tried to ask him about it, but all I heard were excuses. Even though the excuses were legit, I couldn't put my finger on it... Something was wrong. I just didn't know what it was...yet.

Anyway, this didn't last long. I gave my full attention to the finals, thinking about my future.

I wanted to get a decent job since I was an only child and I wanted to take good care of my parents.

Abhi worked harder than all of us. It was always his dream to go abroad and join a well-known company.

Ananya was always a spoiled child since her father was rich. So she didn't care about a job or her future. Everything would be served on a gold platter for her.

Finally, we graduated, and we were about to enter the next step of our lives. I didn't feel ready for it.

I was terrified to think about what I was going to do next and at the same time, I was excited about the new opportunities out there waiting for me to grab them.

The hardest thing was leaving Abhi. I thought we would text, chat on the phone, and video call but it would never be the same once we moved back to our respective homes.

I cried the day we parted ways. He promised me that he would come and see me whenever he missed me and that I could call him whenever I wanted.

After all, he promised forever, didn't he? But I didn't know how long it would be until I saw him in the flesh again.

Or maybe I did...because I kissed him like it was the last time ever.

I grabbed his shirt and stood on my toes to meet his height. I started kissing and for a moment he didn't respond.

He must have been surprised that I initiated it, but the next moment he took over. He snaked his arm around my hip and drew me in closer.

His other hand came upwards, grabbing the back of my hair.

I tried to move in as if there was still some distance to close. It wasn't enough for me. I wanted to stick to him like paint until I blended myself into his soul as we became one.

The kiss was filled with desperation and need. He pulled away to catch his breath. We were both panting, our lips inches apart.

"I will miss you badly, Honey Bun," he said in between his short breaths.

I smothered him by kissing him again. I could feel his chest vibrating with a suppressed chuckle as we kissed. But I didn't care.

I wanted him, and I didn't have any other better method to communicate it. I wanted to say thousands of words and hear millions from him, but it seemed that words didn't matter anymore.

He pulled away to catch his breath again.

"You should have shown this side to me more often," he said, winking at me.

I would have laughed if we were in any other situation, but I didn't know why tears started shedding from my eyes.

He slowly stroked the tears away from my cheeks but didn't say anything, as if he knew how I felt and that telling me not to cry wouldn't work at all.

He took a bracelet from his pocket and slid it on my hand.

"Keep it close and look at it whenever you miss me." He hugged me tightly.

I couldn't stop my tears from flowing. I could hear him say, "I will always be with you, baby girl."

***

After three years, I had a decent job with a decent salary, just as I imagined. To my comfort, I wound up in a place where I could continue staying with my parents.

It felt like life could never be better for me. I didn't know about Ananya. I lost contact with her after college.

Unfortunately, Abhi didn't get a job in his dream company, but he didn't quit. He was still trying while working for a local company.

It wasn't a great job, but it wasn't bad either. Still, his eyes were only on his dream job. He was obsessed.

Sometimes it scared me how obsessed he was, but I wanted him to be happy. He deserved all the things he desired.

I didn't know if it was the distance or something else, but I felt like the bond between us grew more intense than before. We never missed a chance to talk.

We texted each other at least once a day even if we were busy. We tried to meet, but we never got the chance.

Sometimes I felt like I was losing myself thinking about how I miss him. My heart wanted to jump out of my body and go to him. I would let it go...if only I could.

I missed him so badly that it felt like I was suffocating, and he was the air I needed.

"I miss you so much," I said, trying to extend the phone call that he was about to end. Tears started forming in my eyes when I said those words.

"Please don't, Aadhi." I could hear him sighing. I knew he was struggling to say the words.

"I want to see you... I want to touch you... I want to feel your lips on mine." I didn't know where I got the courage to say these things.

"Honey Bun, don't make me come there right now," he said in a warning tone.

I chuckled as tears started rolling down my cheeks. I missed him so much, and it made me frustrated that I couldn't do anything about it.

"I will keep the door open for you."

There was a long silence. I didn't know what he was thinking.

"You know I am really working hard to get that job, right?" he asked after a long silence.

"Hmm..." I knew where this conversation was going.

"If I see your face, I may be tempted to throw away everything and come to you."

A smile formed on my lips.

"You don't want to marry a jobless man, do you?" he asked me. I chuckled slightly at his teasing tone.

"What if I say I don't want you to go?" I asked in a serious tone.

Again silence.

"You won't," he said determinedly, as he knew for sure that I wouldn't. But I didn't want to give up yet.

"What makes you so sure?" I asked, taunting him.

"Because you love me too much."

This time I didn't know what to say, so I stayed silent.

"You know how important this is to me, and you will always choose my happiness before yours. I know I must choose even if we don't talk about it.

But I don't want to choose, Sweetie. I want both... I want you, and I want my dream to come true. I know it's greedy, but I can't lose you both.

Just bear with me for a little while, baby...I promise you I will come back to you like always."

This man sure knows how to make me emotional for nothing.

"Will you wait for me, Aadhi?" he asked.

"Hmhm," I nodded my head in between my sobs even though he couldn't see me.

"I love you, Baby Girl, you have no idea how much I miss you." I can feel the frustration and the desperation in his voice. I know he meant every word he said.

"I love you, too."

Even after he ended the call I could hear his voice asking me, 'Will you wait for me?' I could tell how miserable he was when he asked that question.

I will wait for you even if I have to for my whole life... It's a promise.