Chapter 36

AADHI

It's been a week since he went on that trip. I didn't know when he would come back.

I was talking to Harsha every day. He used to update me on everything, but he hadn't told me much over the last two days.

When I asked about it, he said he would talk to me in person when they came back. I didn't know what that was about, but I didn't ask him again.

I was sitting on the steps of the doorway, hugging my knees and watching the rain. The sky was greyish orange. It looked like dawn but it was almost midnight.

The sky was pouring down, soaking the trees and the ground. I could smell that peculiar smell of rain.

The leaves glistened with the rainwater. The drops slid down the slippery leaves and fell on the ground, bouncing back up like white pearls.

The scene was serene, and I would've enjoyed it if only my mind and heart were in the moment.

I missed him... I missed him so much. I wanted him to be here to enjoy this with me.

I wanted to have a hot chocolate with him sitting beside me and holding my hands. Suddenly, I imagined that I was kissing him in the rain.

I didn't know why or how that thought came to my mind but it only made me miss him more.

With that overwhelming feeling, a lone tear escaped from my left eye.

I didn't know what I was going to do when I saw him. I just wanted to see his face. I missed his presence. This home felt as empty as an eggshell without him.

This intense feeling made me want to pluck my hair out in frustration... I never thought I would feel this again for someone else, and this time it felt even more intense.

I went inside and got ready for bed. But I couldn't sleep at all.

It felt uncomfortable and eerie to be alone in this house, but this house was the closest thing to him that I had. There were so many memories to cherish.

I regretted that I didn't savour those moments at the time.

Hours after he left, my mom called me and asked me to come home. He had called my mom and told her to get me since I would be alone after he left. Strangely, I felt happy when she said that.

He still cared... That's the thought that came to my mind. So I refused and decided to stay here alone. Maybe that might bring him back as quickly as possible

I had an idea to help me sleep. I covered myself with his blanket and went to the couch. He had been sleeping there for the past week, so it kind of felt like sleeping with him.

Either that really helped, or I was just tired after all that rolling around on the bed, but I fell into slumber quicker than I thought.

***

When I woke up in the morning, I didn't want to leave the couch despite having backache and cramped legs from crouching all night.

I felt bored and alone. I had nothing to do to pass my time. I didn't want to watch TV all day.

Maybe I should have taken the offer to go to my mom's house. I decided to go, even though missed him.

If I had to stay here one more day, I would die of boredom, and I didn't want to leave this world yet.

I decided to leave after breakfast. When I was cooking, I heard someone outside and I peeked out from the kitchen door to see who it was.

I saw Harsha and Nija and I knew he was back. I ran to the door, waiting for him to get out of the car. I was so excited to see him, but my smile turned upside down when I looked at him.

He looked pale and haggard. Harsha and Nija were helping him to get out of the car. He literally couldn't even stand after he got out.

Both of them were bearing his weight and helping him to walk. I stood there stunned, not knowing what to do next. They passed me and went inside.

Only Harsha gave me a tight-lipped smile and a worried look. After a minute, I pulled myself back to reality and went inside. They helped him to get into bed, tucking him in.

"What happened?" I asked worriedly.

Nija didn't even look at me. It was weird, but I brushed it off and looked at Harsha, who sighed deeply before talking to me.

"Because of the change of place, water, and food, he is not feeling well. He was having a fever for two days and didn't eat anything because of continuous vomiting."

Looking at my worried face, he continued, "No need to worry, Aadhi. We went to the hospital on our way, and they gave him fluids and an injection.

The doctor said that he would be alright in a matter of days if he stayed in bed and rested."

I sighed in relief and thanked them both. Nija went out without acknowledging me and Harsha followed him, giving me a weird look. What was wrong with them?

When I went out to send them off, Nija didn't even say bye. Was he angry at me? I couldn't figure out the reason for his behaviour.

Harsha said his goodbyes, told me to take care of my husband and went on his way.

I came back inside and sat on a chair beside the bed. He was sleeping, but I didn't want to go anywhere. I decided to stay near him in case he woke up and needed anything.

I knew it was not a big deal, he was just exhausted and once he had rested well enough he would be alright. But I couldn't help but feel sad.

I stayed beside him all day except to take something or use the bathroom. He didn't wake up at all. I guess he was just that tired, and I was relieved to see him sleeping well.

***

When he woke up, it was dinner time. He sat up and tried to get out of bed. I went to help him, grabbing his arm, but he slowly withdrew his hand from mine.

It wasn't sudden or harsh, but the message was received. He didn't want me to help him. It hurt but I deserved it. At least he was not bitter.

I went to the kitchen to make him dinner. Since he was sick, I made some congee. I brought the bowl to the room when he came back after refreshing himself.

He tried to sit on the bed, but it seemed like he couldn't, so he just lay back again. Maybe he was still feeling sick.

I kept the meal on the table and went to him. I placed my palm on his forehead to check for temperature. He was burning hot.

"Eat something. You need to take medicine," I said, looking at him.

But he didn't respond. He just lay there and closed his eyes. I knew what that meant, but I would not back down. I grabbed his right hand and pulled him up to sit.

He was so heavy that I couldn't make him sit unless he wanted to, but I kept on trying so that he would be annoyed enough to get up.

Thankfully, he sat up, sighing in annoyance. I placed a pillow behind his back for support and brought the bowl of meal to him.

He tried to pick up the spoon, but he was shivering. I switched off the AC but still, he felt cold because of the rain outside.

So I tried to grab the bowl, thinking to feed him myself, but he didn't give it up easily.

He was so stubborn, but two could play that game. I grabbed the bowl forcefully and brought the spoon to his mouth.

He didn't open his mouth, but I didn't give up. I kept pummeling the spoon against his mouth so that he had no choice.

So finally, he gave up and ate everything that I fed him, along with the medicine, and went to bed.

***

We were lying on our bed... together. I wanted to feel happy...but the situation was not right. He was showing his back to me, and I was more than happy about that... At least he was here...with me.

I was looking at his back for so long, and I saw him shiver even with the blanket. I slowly sat up and looked at his face to check if he was sleeping undisturbed.

I slowly spread my blanket over him. I didn't feel cold with the AC off, anyway. After a few minutes, the shivering didn't stop. I didn't know what to do.

I sat up on the bed again and started thinking. Suddenly, I had an idea. I was a little hesitant but decided to try anyway.

I went near him inside the blanket and lay down. I moved closer and closer until our bodies were touching. I threw my right hand around his chest.

When I did that, suddenly his body became stiff. I guessed he had been awake all this time.

I stopped for a moment, embarrassed, but after a second I found the courage to move closer until there was no space between us.

I hugged him tightly from the back. He didn't relax and tried to get out of the hold, but I tightened my grip, placing my cheek against his back.

I said, "I am just helping you get warm, so stay right there."

He didn't move or say anything. After some moments, he started to relax, and I smiled to myself. I couldn't sleep after that. His shivering stopped, but I didn't want to move away.

Out of excitement and untold love, I started doodling I love you on his chest above his heart.

Suddenly, he grabbed my doodling arm. I was even more embarrassed now. He slowly turned toward me.

I tried to pull my arm away and escape, but his grip was so tight. I closed my eyes tightly in embarrassment and pursed my lips.

He slowly pulled me closer, grabbing my shoulder. His other hand slid smoothly behind my head, bringing me closer to his chest.

I understood what he was doing and made myself comfortable under his hold.

His chin was above my head, and his fingers kept moving lazily on my shoulders. I guess he wasn't aware of it. I placed my palm against his chest to feel his heartbeat.

I couldn't stop feeling that this heart was beating just for me, and I felt so proud.

I realized that at this moment I could die without any regrets in life. I would die happily and peacefully in his arms. What else do I need?