Chapter 43

I didn't know whether to curse myself or my fate. Why me? Why him? Why now? Why is this happening to me?

I used to think that everything happened for a good reason. But times like these made me want to question my sanity.

I did a stupid thing. I fled from there without looking at anyone. Looking at his eyes filled with hurt and anger, I couldn't take it anymore.

My body was acting on its own but somehow I came back to the hotel by taxi.

I didn't want to go back to the room yet. It would just remind me of him and make me feel guilty. I knew I didn't do anything wrong, so why did I feel ashamed?

I went to the garden and sat on a wooden bench, hugging my knees. Only then did I let my tears flow down.

I was lost in the green grass below me, but my mind's eye was playing one thing over and over... His eyes.

I didn't know how I was going to explain it to him. I would have to reveal everything about my past, and I was not sure if he would accept me after that.

Part of me believed in him, but I was also scared.

It started raining, and I was wearing light clothes. But I didn't care that I was freezing. The physical pain helped numb the pain inside.

I was dripping wet. My teeth were chattering, but I didn't want to move. I didn't even want to exist.

Every time I do something, somebody gets hurt, including me. My life decisions suck.

I tried to analyze my feelings toward Abhi. I wanted to know if my judgment was clouded by lingering emotions that stopped me from moving on.

Closing my eyes, I pictured him. All I felt was anger. I couldn't remember a single good moment of us together, only all the times he hurt me.

I pitied him but I didn't regret not being with him. Because if he hadn't left me, I wouldn't be married to an amazing person.

The problem was not Abhi, it was just me. I was the one holding myself back. It was my mistake that I didn't give this relationship a chance in the first place.

I was running away, scared of my past, ignoring what I felt. I didn't want to run anymore, and I needed to talk to him.

I realized I had been gone too long. I looked at my phone and saw there were lots of messages and missed calls. All of them were from Ria and Harsha.

It was a little upsetting to see that there were none from him. I replied that I was back at the hotel and no need to worry.

I went to the room and changed my dress. I didn't feel well, my head was throbbing, and my eyes were burning like fire. I guess it was because of the long exposure to the rain and cold.

I decided to take some rest and went to bed. But I couldn't sleep. Even with the AC off and covering myself with a thick quilt, I was still shivering.

Sometime later, someone entered the room, and I didn't have to look to know who it was. I felt too ashamed to look at him, and I didn't know what to say.

He switched the AC back on and then I felt a dip on the bed beside me. I covered myself from head to toe, hiding underneath. Even then the shivering won't go away.

Suddenly I felt the quilt being pulled, and the cold wind on my warm body.

I sensed his body moving inside the quilt and covering both of us with it. He also threw his hand over me, pulling me closer but not too close.

I was surprised by his move and confused about why was he doing this when he must have been angry with me.

"I am just helping you get warm, so stay right there. You are so annoying when you shiver," he said. It was like he read my thoughts.

I couldn't help but smile, thinking that he was using my own trick on me. Well, I was glad that he was helping me get better.

I could also take advantage of the situation. I turned toward him slowly and threw my hand over him, stirring under his hold.

"Stop it, Aadhi," he warned me.

But I didn't. I shifted even closer, burrowing my face in his neck, moving my hand slowly upwards, and grabbing his hair.

I don't know how I got the courage to act so shamelessly, but his nearness made me crazy. All I could think about was his scent and the urge to immerse myself in him.

"I said stop it!" He pushed me away, yelling at me.

I was dumbfounded and embarrassed to death. I wished the ground would swallow me whole.

"After everything...," he stopped himself mid-sentence and started pacing, combing his hair in frustration.

"Wh-what the hell are you trying to prove, Aadhi?" he stuttered, his hands shaking.

He clenched his teeth and fisted his hands to control his emotions, but I guess he couldn't because he went out of the room, closing the door with a loud thud.

I must be insane. I shouldn't have done that. I was lost in the moment, and I wasn't in my right mind. I just took advantage of his kindness...again.

It's still raining outside. The balcony was roofless and I could see the raindrops spattering on the floor. Somehow, I felt like it was calling me. I threw the quilt aside, got up, and slowly walked to the balcony.

I stood there in the rain, looking into the dark nothingness. The cold weather felt good, numbing my pain.

My mind was empty and there were no tears left in my eyes to cry. I was purely shocked, and it pained me to see him suffer because of me.

I used to cope with my heartbreaks by hurting myself, that is exactly what I was doing standing in the rain when I was not feeling well.

Suddenly I heard the door open. I watched him stride toward me. For a moment, I thought he was going to let his anger out and hit me, and I braced myself. But I didn't expect what happened next.

He joined me in the rain. Cupping my cheeks with both of his hands, he pressed his lips against mine.

I didn't respond immediately due to the sweet surprise, but his insistent lips parted mine, sending shivers all over my body. I let him sink in.

Raindrops rolled down on his face and went unheeded as he focused his attention on me. He wasn't gentle, nor did I want him to be. I grabbed his collar and pulled him in for more.

He groaned softly and grabbed my hips harder with his strong hands. His hands explored my back, searching for more as if he could not get enough of me.

Before anything further happened, he slowly pulled away. By that time, we were both breathless, but I was not ready to let him go yet.

I clung to him, snaking my arms around his neck like he was my lifeline. He forced me to look at his eyes, grabbing my chin.

"Remember this, Aadhi," he said between rapid breaths.

"Remember this when you decide," he said, resting his forehead against mine. He kissed me again but this time gently and slowly.

We spent the night in a tight embrace, ravishing each other's lips