Chapter 44

When I woke up in the morning, he was gone. Alone in the bed, I reminisced about our first kiss. It put a smile on my face early in the morning.

I closed my eyes to relive it all over again.

Last night he seemed like he was overwhelmed with all of his emotions and what he did was like the flood finally rushing out when the dam broke.

I felt his confusion, hurt, anger, and his love for me, all in that one kiss. A couple of tears escaped my eyes as I thought about my unworthiness of his love.

We both were mostly non-verbal when it came to our emotions, but we communicated via that kiss.

But still, I needed to tell him everything. I was scared until now about him not accepting me if knew my past.

But I realized that it was a matter of believing in him, and I did believe. I was ready to hand him the hammer and trust him not to break my heart.

I tried to talk to him last night while we were cuddling, but he said that he was tired and we could talk in the morning.

I didn't know if he was tired or just trying to avoid discussing his feelings. But there was no harm in waiting one more night.

Sia came by the room before we went to breakfast together. She was talking about something, but I didn't hear anything. It was hard to not think about last night.

I was avoiding her eyes all the while because I didn't want to share something so special with anyone, not even Sia.

I knew she would just pester me to tell her if she found out that I was hiding something. I tried to act cool, but I guess it was too obvious.

"Okay, What's wrong?" she asked me suddenly.

"Nothing." Still, I tried to brush it off, avoiding her eyes.

"You have been acting weird all this time and you seem a little distracted. So, tell me, what is it?" she said with a knowing look.

Well, now that I was caught, I couldn't stop the smile forming on my lips.

"Oookay... I guess something good must have happened between you two. Is that it?" she teased me, coming closer and lifting my chin to make me look at her.

I was really embarrassed and nodded shyly, still not looking at her.

"That is awesome!" she squealed in joy.

"I am not going to ask anything further." She winked and returned to her seat.

"That's a relief," I said, winking back. She pouted in annoyance. I guess she expected me to tell her without her asking.

"I am going to tell him," I said after a few moments.

Her smile suddenly faded, and she looked at me in shock. I was a little disappointed with her response, I had expected her to be more supportive.

"I thought you wanted me to move forward," I said, frowning at her.

"Yes, but...did you think about it?" she asked doubtfully.

"Of course, yes," I said, not sure what she was thinking.

"Do you think it's important to tell him your past to make him understand that you love him?"

"I am not sure." Now I was totally confused. Where was she going with this?

"I mean... I don't know... It just doesn't feel right to tell him now. I don't think there is a need to bring your past now between you two."

"Don't you think I should be honest with him?"

"Yes, but you should have been from the start. It's just too late to bring up the past now. If he asks about your past then you must be honest but now you are moving on.

Telling him now will make him think that you acted the way you did because you were holding on to your past love.

Maybe you did, but right now it might turn against you. Just forget about it and make him happy from now on. Show him your love, Aadhi, isn't that enough?"

She had a point, but I still wasn't sure.

"What if he misunderstands after what you've done to hurt him and make him stay away and leave you? Did you think about that?"

I knew she was right, but I needed to tell him everything because of Mia. I told Sia about her, what she was doing with my phone, and how she was conspiring with my ex against me.

"He might have misunderstood everything, and I need to tell him everything before something big happens."

"Do you think Mia would do that?"

"Then why else would Abhi say her name on the phone when I called him immediately after the message?" I reasoned.

She looked incredulous.

"Do you doubt me?" I was angry that she didn't believe me.

"No... Of course not. I just...didn't think that she is that kind of a person." she hurriedly said, trying not to offend me.

"Yeah, that makes the two of us."

"Anyways, don't take any drastic measures. Think about it again," she advised me.

I just nodded my head nonchalantly, and we decided to go for breakfast.

On the way to the dining hall, Harsha joined us. He said hello and signalled to me that he wanted to talk in private.

I told Sia that I needed to get something from my room and joined Harsha.

"So there is good news and bad news. Which one do you want to hear?" he queried me.

"Hmm... Maybe the good one," I said, wondering what he was up to.

"I told Abhi and Nija about me and Ria this morning and they are very happy for me," he said with a big bright smile.

"Wow...that's great," I said excitedly, feeling very happy for him.

"So what's the bad one?" I asked him, furrowing my brows.

"I talked to Bharathi." He frowned and I could tell that it didn't go well.

"After I had told her about us, she started crying. I tried to convince her, but she just yelled at me to go out and closed the door pushing me out. I don't know what to do now."

He seemed a little frustrated.

"It's okay. You did well. Give her some time and then let's try again. Okay?" I said, smiling. He sighed in relief, and we both went to have breakfast.

When I was about to enter, I saw the person who made my heart pound crazy. He was discussing something with Nija while eating.

I remembered last night, and I couldn't help blushing and smiling to myself.

I decided to sit beside him. Once I entered the room, his eyes caught mine but lowered just as quickly. It was unsettling, but I brushed it away from my mind.

Mia arrived at the table at the same time. I have no idea where she came from. I was about to sit near my husband but then I was interrupted by Nija.

"Mia, sit beside Abhi. I need your opinion on something," he ordered, turning the laptop toward her.

That left me flustered. I just stood there, plate in my hand. There was also an empty chair next to Nija. He could have easily asked her to sit there.

Sia and Harsha, who were sitting at the opposite side of the table, were looking at me pitifully. It was so embarrassing, and I was so angry.

While this happening, my husband just sat there, eating like nothing was happening.

Without making a scene, I sat on another chair near Ria and started eating. It was awkward and unbearably silent.

"Abhi, are you going to meet Mr. Gupta today?" Nija was the one who spoke first. Mr.Gupta was our project sponsor. My husband just nodded his head.

"Take Mia with you. She said she needed to buy something. Maybe you could take her shopping after," Nija said while devouring his food.

Hearing that, I stopped eating and played with my fork, contemplating whether to poke him with it.

"I thought you were coming with me," my husband asked him innocently.

"I can't, that is why I am sending Mia with you," he said, glaring at my husband and highlighting every single word.

He didn't refuse. That was disturbing to me in so many ways.

By now I couldn't contain my anger. Sia was holding my hand below the table telling me to calm down.

How could I when Mia was sitting there beside him, smirking while acting all innocent?

Nija proceeded to his room after breakfast. I tried to calm myself down, but I couldn't. I stood up and threw my fork on the table forcefully.

That finally made my husband look at me, but I just glared at him and ran after Nija.

Harsha was hot on my heels, calling my name, but I didn't care anymore. I needed to know what was wrong with Nija and why he was behaving like that.

I had thought maybe sooner or later he would talk to me so I waited patiently, but this was too much.

Setting up my husband with another girl in front of me? What the hell was he thinking?

I saw him opening his room door when I entered the hallway.

"Nija!" I yelled, making him stop in his tracks. I quickly strode toward him. I could sense Harsha following behind me.

"What the hell is your problem?" I cut straight to the chase. By now Harsha was beside me.

He took a moment to realize what I was talking about, but then he just ignored me and went back to opening the door.

"I am asking you why you are behaving like this. Answer me, Nija," I demanded. "I thought we were closer than this. I think of you as a brother.

So tell me what's wrong. Why are you avoiding me and being rude? I thought you thought of me as a sister too." I continued to pour my thoughts out while he fiddled with the key.

"Yes, I thought of you as a sister. But I know you just for a second. My friends have been with me for as long as I can remember.

They are my priority, no matter what, and you just hurt one of them. Now you ask me what's wrong?" he said scarily, glaring and pointing his fingers at my face.

I was confused and didn't know what he was talking about.

"Didn't he tell you?" he asked me, looking at Harsha, but Harsha was already looking guilty.

"Tell me," I said firmly to Harsha. Nija didn't bother, he just went inside the room.

Carefully choosing his words, Harsha told me everything, including about my husband reading my journal.

It hit me hard. Everyone knew everything and I was like an ostrich hiding its head under the sand. I felt like an idiot. Tears started rolling down my cheeks.

"Please don't cry, Aadhi," Harsha said softly, trying to wipe my tears away. I wanted to hide from the world and disappear, but I felt like I had more to say.

I turned abruptly and went inside the room, followed by Harsha. I saw Nija sitting on his bed with his laptop.

I couldn't imagine what everyone must have thought about me. What I thought was my painful secret was out in the open and I wanted to cower in humiliation and hide.

"So you know now," he asked me nonchalantly. I just nodded guiltily.

"Now you know why I am doing this. You are going to hurt him and leave him anyway. So I am trying to limit the damage.

As a friend, I am helping him to be with someone who really loves him and cares about him. Is that wrong?"

I was hurt and offended to hear him say that. What did he think of me? It provoked me to say things that I didn't expect.

"I am not leaving him... Never. Do you understand? Never! And I love him so much. How could you say that?"

Did I just say I LOVE HIM?

Well... Maybe it's about time to admit it.