Chapter 7

AADHI

He asked me, "Have you been in love, Aadhi?"

"What? Um... No... Why are you asking?" I lied without meeting his gaze.

"Really? Then you are lucky, Aadhi; you've never experienced heartbreak," he said, smiling at me.

Although I was relieved by his answer, his words penetrated my heart like someone stabbing me.Right then I understood that Harsha was suffering the same pain as me. I couldn't stop wondering how similar we were.

I wanted to ask him about it, but I knew I couldn't offer him anything in return because I was in pain too, and I didn't want to push him to tell me about it.

To my surprise, he talked. "I have been in love once, but it didn't go well. Till now, no one has known how I felt about it.

Everyone knows about my story, but no one knows how badly I am broken, and till now I don't want to share that with anyone. I don't know why, but I feel like I want to tell you.

I know if I share that with anyone, I will see pity in their eyes, but I feel that you won't pity me. I feel like you will understand. So, I want to tell you what happened and get rid of that burden."I don't know how, but Harsha always seemed to know about me. It kind of scared me.I don't want to open myself to anyone. But he was breaking every single brick of the wall that I have been building for years.

I wanted to let him in. I was feeling alone, sinking in my own sea of sorrows, but now here he is, willing to swim with me and support me. But something in the back of my mind tells me not to.I decided to be silent, so he continued while we sat there in the same place on the shore.

"Her name is Puvitha, but everyone calls her Puvi. She was in the same class as me, but I never got the chance or the courage to talk to her. I fell in love with her the moment I saw her.She is not very beautiful, you know? But something in her lured me. In my eyes, she was the most beautiful woman in the world."

He spoke about her as if he was in a trance... as if he was reliving the moment. I decided not to interrupt and continued listening.

"I just followed her wherever she went without her knowledge. Even my friends didn't know. One day I was lucky that she was assigned to be my project partner."

"We became good friends. After that, I was with her all the time. It made me happy, but I didn't dare to tell her that I liked her, and I was afraid to know what if she didn't."

"So I prolonged my time with her, being a friend."

"One day, she introduced me to another boy in our class as her friend. At first, I thought that they were just friends. But after spending some time with them, it didn't quite sit well with me."

"So I asked her, are they really friends? She didn't lie to me. She accepted that they weren't friends and were in love. Even though it broke my heart to hear that, I knew I should keep my distance."

"I maintained my friendship and didn't interfere between them. After some days, I started feeling that something was wrong with that boy."

"So I started digging and found out that he was just using her and not really in love with her.""I didn't want her to get hurt. So, I told her everything about him. She didn't believe a word I said and told me not to see her anymore."

"I was hurt that she didn't believe me, but I didn't know what to do. So I just did what she said."

"After that, even though I missed her sometimes, I just got back to my life."

"After a month or so, I received a text from her saying, 'I want to meet you, please meet me at the usual park,' with a crying smiley."

"At first, I thought she just missed me and wanted to continue our friendship. Assuming that, I went to meet her happily."

"But when she saw me, she ran to me and started crying and hugging me. I realized something was wrong. I didn't know what to do, so I let her cry until she calmed down."

"After a few minutes, she just said, 'You were right,' and I knew what happened."

"I didn't want to say, 'I told you so' and hurt her more, so I just said, 'It's okay, Puvi... Leave it... It happens... Now stop crying.'"

"Then she hugged me more and said, 'All the while you were by my side, and I didn't see you. I know that you have been following me around before we became partners.

I liked you too, but I just pretended that I didn't. I am sorry; I know this is bad timing, but I think I love you, Harsha.'"

"I couldn't quite register what she said in my mind. I just heard 'I love you, Harsha.' My heart didn't let my mind think. It just told me you got your love so don't ignore it."

"I was happy at that moment and accepted her love. I even introduced her to Abhi, Karthi, and Nija."

"Everyone was happy, but Nija seemed a bit off, so I asked him what it was, and he just said smiling, 'Nothing. You are happy, right? Then that is all we want.'"

"I was not in a clear mind at that time to understand that my friend was trying to tell me something."

"Like every other couple, we stayed with each other for most of the time. I even ignored my friends. They did miss me, but they understood."

"I didn't know why, but she couldn't get along with my friends like Ruby. I didn't mind that at that time."

"After some time, I started to see changes in her. She started fighting with me for silly reasons. She started accusing me of not allowing her anywhere without me."

"I am sticking by her side all the time like I am afraid that she might go with some other boys. I slapped her when she said that."

"I was with her all the time because I liked being with her, and I thought she liked it too. I couldn't bear the thought that she thinks that I think she is going to cheat if I am not with her."

"So we reduced meeting each other, but instead, phone calls increased. After some time, she got bored of that too, I guess."

"She started complaining that I am calling often and bothering her. So I called her once a week and started sending text messages."

"After some time, she stopped picking up my calls and replying to my texts. I tried to get a hold of her, but I couldn't. I know that for some reason, she was avoiding me."

"I made myself miserable wondering what went wrong. What did I do to make her go away? I even messaged her begging her to forgive me for whatever I did, but no reply."

"One day, Nija approached me and asked what my problem was. I told him everything, believing he might enlighten me as to what mistake I made."

"But after hearing everything, he just said, 'Harsha, don't get me wrong. Leave that girl, man. Don't think about her anymore. She doesn't deserve you.'

"We miss you, Harsha... Me, Abhi, and Karthi, we miss you. We couldn't see you like this. It hurts us."

"You are thinking about someone who clearly doesn't think about you, but what about us, man? What about your friends? Don't you think you should give a little bit of attention to us?""He looked at me with tears in his eyes."

"I couldn't control my tears when he finished. I cried, hugging him and asking him to forgive me."

"From that moment, I decided to be with my friends, and I would deal with her when she came back to me. If she truly loved me, she would come back. I believed that."

"Even though I am with my friends now, I think about her a lot. I couldn't get her out of my mind. It's killing me that I don't have an answer for what went wrong."

"It was Karthi's birthday. We boys decided to go to a movie. When we reached the theatre, it was so crowded."

"We were lucky that we booked our tickets online because I don't have the patience to stand in line for a ticket."

"However, Karthi was stubborn to get popcorn even in this crowd. He said, 'I will not be entering this door until you guys get me popcorn. After all, it's my birthday, bro...,' he exclaimed.""I rolled my eyes. What a drama queen..."

"So Abhi and Nija went with him. I just stayed in some corner where it was less crowded.""While I was standing there lazily, I saw a familiar figure in the crowd waiting in the queue for tickets. I went closer to get a good view."

"It was Puvi's ex-boyfriend standing with some girl. Without caring about who he was with, I was going to turn to leave and see the girl. It was Puvi... It was my Puvi."

"I was shocked, and I stood there without moving like a statue. Puvi saw me, and that boy saw me too following her gaze. He smiled and came toward me holding her hands."

"I wanted to cut off that arm. He came to me and said, 'Hi, bro. How are you?'"

"I didn't say anything, but my gaze didn't leave Puvi. She was looking at her hand all the while. I know she was feeling uncomfortable."

"I wanted her to look at me and say it's nothing and that they are just friends."

"He noticed me looking at her and said, 'I am sorry, bro. I was the one who told her to keep our relationship a secret. We got into a fight, and I left her.

But she was waiting patiently for me to go back to her. I understood her true love and we got back just a few weeks before.'"

"I felt like someone was crushing my heart with a hammer. He said bye and left. But I couldn't leave. It was as if someone had glued me there."

"I don't know what happened a while ago. I wanted to get angry at her, but I couldn't because I loved her that much."

"After a minute, I came to my senses and decided to search for my friends."

"I turned back and saw them standing there looking at me with pity, not knowing whether they should call me or not. I didn't like that look."

"I know they heard everything. But I didn't want them to pity me. So I forced a smile and asked them, 'Shall we go inside?'"

"They looked at each other confused, thinking about what I was up to."

"'No, Harsha, let's go back home. Someone at the counter said it was a boring movie,' Karthi said."

"'Yeah man, let's go,' Abhi pulled me with a hand on my shoulder."

"'Hey, it's your birthday, Karthi. Let's celebrate as planned. I don't want to cancel because of me,' I told them."

"'It's not because of you, idiot. I am not going to torture myself watching a boring movie on my birthday. So come on, let's go home and get ourselves hammered,' Karthi said, winking at me."

"I laughed. I was so grateful for these wonderful friends, and I wanted to go home. That was the first and last time that I got drunk."

"After that, I didn't let myself show how broken I am to my friends. They knew how I was feeling, but I didn't express myself to them. I laughed, I talked like before."

"But the day caught up with me at night. I lost my sleep for years. I couldn't get myself to cry. I didn't let a tear down until now," he finished with tears running down his cheeks.

Even I couldn't hold my tears. I can feel his pain. He tried to control himself, but he couldn't.The tears that he has been holding within himself for years are flowing down like a dam was broken because of a raging flood.

I don't want to interfere now. He needs to cry. He needs to lose that burden that has been weighing him down for years. I turned toward him to block the view of him crying from everyone.

I took his hands in mine, giving him comfort and letting him cry his sorrows away.

After some time, he stopped crying. I could see his red eyes. He turned, smiling, and said, "Thanks, Aadhi. I needed that comfort for once in my life. Until now all I got was pity."

I just smiled at him. I know what it feels like to be with someone happy when you are in pain.His friends never experienced this kind of pain, and being with them, faking happiness, is so excruciating.

It's not their fault. No one can understand a broken heart better than a broken heart. That is why I think Harsha was drawn toward me.

Even though I didn't say anything, I think he can feel the pain in me too, like I am now. I feel like I found the best friend that I never had.

Lost in my thoughts, Harsha's words brought me to reality."He loves you," he said.

I jerked and raised my head to look at him. His gaze was fixed somewhere behind me. I turned back to see where he was looking.

I realized who he was talking about. My husband was staring at me intensely, like he was scared that if he shifted his gaze for a second, I would be gone.I am in trouble... Deep trouble.---