Step 4b: ...even if his dad's a dick

Warning: This chapter contains allusions to abusive parenting. Reader discretion advised.

Ivelle had no sooner been escorted out of the royal wing than she was nearly speared by Ash's beak as he collided with her in the middle of the hallway.

"Ivelle! Thank goodness I found you! Where have you been?"

It took a while to get Ash up to speed with the morning's events. By the time Ivelle had finished the summary of her meeting with Eirifold – in an alcove behind a portly statue of a bearded king, because Ash was too impatient to head back to their room – her crow was even more appalled than before.

"So you're some kind of double agent now?"

"Keep your voice down!"

"Is he even paying you to spy?"

"If by 'paying' you mean 'holding off on sending me to prison on false charges'... yes."

"Stingy bastard!" Ash paced up and down the statue's stone shoulders, beak bobbing with discontent. "I don't like this. I don't know much about Mariel, but she seemed pretty no-nonsense when the prince pushed Wilfred down the stairs. What if she catches you spying on her?"

"That won't happen," said Ivelle. "After all, I've got a secret weapon."

She batted her eyes at him.

Ash scowled.

She batted her lashes even more hopefully, suffusing her facial features with every ounce of Sad Anime Eyes(™) she could muster. They faced off for a few more seconds, until finally, Ash capitulated.

"Fine, fine! I'll spy on her for you! Just... fix your face."

Down the hall, the door to the royal wing burst open. Footsteps, harsh and angry, clacked toward them along the marble tiles.

Panicking, Ivelle flung herself against the derriere of the kingly statue. A second later, King Gorlin and Queen Ysette swept into view, trailed by a half dozen guards who looked very much like they didn't want to be there.

"...can't fault me for sleeping around when you have yet to produce a quality son!"

"Eirifold may be lacking, but he's still young. He will learn –"

"That addled weakling can barely hold a sword, much less lead a kingdom!"

"Maybe he wouldn't be so addled if you hadn't punched him in the head so often while he was growing up."

A dangerous pause, and then King Gorlin's baritone rumbled across the tiles:

"You dare question my parenting methods?"

The queen threw up her hands. "Of course not. I would never dream to question a single action you take, especially not one that leads to my humiliation and our son's utter lunacy..."

Their voices faded as the two of them stalked down the hallway, probably heading toward whatever council meeting Prince Eirifold had said the king was late for. The guards clattered after them. Ivelle wasn't a great reader of facial expressions, but if she had to guess, their glazed stares roughly translated to "I don't get paid enough for this shit."

"Good grief," Ivelle muttered. "No wonder Eirifold ended up such a mess, growing up with role models like that."

Ash didn't reply.

"Ash?"

Ivelle's brow furrowed.

Her crow was nowhere in sight.

Heart stuttering in sudden panic, she spun around, scanning the alcove.

And then she saw him. He had flattened himself against one of the indents at the base of the statue and was huddling, wings across his face, as though trying to make himself as small and nondescript as possible. His small body trembled as though caught in a high wind.

"...Ash?"

Gently, Ivelle touched his wing. In response, he seemed to press himself tighter against the unforgiving stone.

Alarm filled her. "Ash! Talk to me. Are you okay? What's wrong?"

"'m fine."

He didn't look fine. His wings still covered his face, and his voice was muffled. She had never seen him act like this, not in the twelve years they'd been friends.

Ignoring his squawk of protest, she scooped him up and gave him the closest thing she could to a hug, which mostly consisted of putting him in her lap and stroking his head. She could feel him breathing far faster than crows usually did. Gradually, his breathing evened out, and he began to look a bit ashamed of himself.

"Sorry," he muttered. "Not sure what came over me."

Ivelle lowered her face to peer into his eyes. "I've never seen you do that before. Normally not much fazes you. I've seen you taken on furious police officers before, not to mention Lord Saffron. Was it... Did it have something to do with the king and queen?"

He fell silent a moment, head angled in thought. "Dunno," he said at last. "Maybe. There was this flash of – something that went through my head." He shook out his feathers, as though trying to dispel something unpleasant. "It's gone now. I'm good."

"Are you sure?" Ivelle touched his head worriedly, only to have Ash swat away her fingers with his beak.

"Yes," he grumbled. "I'm fine. It was just a passing thing."

"Okay." Ivelle's stomach twinged uneasily. "Maybe we should hold off on having you spy, though."

"No." Ash hopped up the statue of the bearded king. "Prince Eirifold bid you to spy, and there's no time like the present."

"Okay, well, if you change your –"

She broke off. Ash was already out of earshot, flapping down the hall toward the royal suite.

Ivelle suppressed a frown.

What on earth was that about?

~*~

Ivelle was so busy contemplating Eirifold's drugging and Ash's breakdown, she had almost forgotten about the doggy doo doo. It was still there when she returned to her room. If possible, it was even more putrid and odiferous than before.

Resolving to deal with it after she took a nap, Ivelle opened the door to her room –

– and almost crashed into Lady Lillian.

Ivelle backpedaled in shock. To her consternation, her left foot landed in something squishy.

"FUCK!"

"Oh my goodness!" Lillian wrung her hands. "I am so sorry!"

Ivelle frantically wiped bits of turd off her shoe. Thankfully the shoe was part of her new jester's uniform, and she hadn't been particularly attached to this particular footwear anyway.

"What... were you doing in my room?" she asked Lillian distractedly.

"Please don't be mad." Lillian clutched her jeweled fan. "I heard the news that someone had broken into the royal treasury... I was afraid you might be falsely accused, since you are the newest arrival to the palace. I didn't want your poisons to get you in more trouble if the guards happened to search your room, so I came here to warn you. When you didn't answer my knock, I got worried and let myself in."

"That actually... makes a lot of sense."

Lillian held out the satchel containing Ivelle's potions. "I found this under your mattress. Do you think it's best if I hold onto them for a while? Just in case your room gets searched in the next few days? I have a hiding place I made inside my room a while ago. Let me show you."

"One moment." Ivelle kicked off her dirty shoe and fumbled in her bag. Shoving her feet into a clean set of boots, she stood. "All right. Let's go."

"I've been thinking," Lillian said, as she led Ivelle back to her quarters. "You've basically earned the first half of your payment. I've learned so much already! But it might look suspicious if you took a massive pile of jewels to your room right after the royal treasury was robbed. Do you want me to hold on to that for you as well? Or do you have another safe hiding spot in mind?"

"Why don't you give me some spending money for now," Ivelle said, "and hang on to the rest of it for me?"

Ash would almost certainly scold her for not taking all the gems right away, but Lillian made a good point. Heaps of jewels in their room would look suspicious, especially if the royal guards decided to search the whole palace.

"This way." Lillian beckoned Ivelle into her tea room, closed the door, and led her to the massive bookshelf that took up the length of one of the walls. She tapped one of the books, which opened with a click to reveal a slim hiding spot that was roughly the size of Ivelle's pack.

Lillian's eyes gleamed with conspiratorial excitement. "I had this secret hiding place made years ago. You're one of the first people I've shown this to, aside from a few trusted servants. You can come in here any time you like to get whatever potions you need. What do you think? Clever, right?"

The excitement in Lillian's voice was contagious. Ivelle studied the hiding spot with a carpenter's eye. It was expertly crafted. The outline of the secret door blended in so well with the wood grain of the bookshelf, she would never have noticed it if Lillian hadn't pointed it out. "It's pretty freaking awesome. D'you think there's much of a market for carpentry for these sorts of things?"

"Oh, I'm sure there is! Nobles hide all sorts of things all the time. I tend to think the richer people are, the more paranoid they become." Lillian's voice turned thoughtful. "I do wonder who snuck into the royal treasury. It was very ... gutsy of them to try."

Ivelle sorted through her potions, tucking some healing potions into the purse at her belt before squeezing the rest into the bookshelf. "I heard an odd rumor," she said casually. "Someone said Princess Mariel helped whoever-it-was break into the treasury."

Of course, she'd heard no such thing. But there was nothing to get people talking about other people than to spread false rumors and see what they said.

Lillian's reaction surprised her. Ivelle had thought Lillian would vehemently defend the princess. They'd seemed on the same side yesterday, united in the fight against Eirifold.

Instead, Lillian looked away.

"I respect Mariel," she said. "We were once friends, but we had a falling out. We simply don't see eye to eye. She's... done some things I can't forgive."

"Like what?"

"I'd rather not say." Lillian glanced at her. "Who told you Mariel broke into the treasury?"

"Prince Eirifold. He summoned me to his room this morning to perform as his jester. Don't worry, it went fine! I told him jokes and did a few tricks. He didn't seem very impressed, but I guess the jokes weren't bad enough for him to fire me. He said he wanted me to come back tomorrow."

Mentally, Ivelle patted herself on the back. Maybe she was better at lying than she gave herself credit for. She was rocking this whole double agent business. Perhaps she should volunteer her spying services to Princess Mariel and see if she could pull off working for three masters. Heck, why not offer her services to the queen while she was at it?

"This will be a great chance for me to get close enough to the bastard to figure out the best means of poisoning him," she continued. "I've already got loads of ideas."

"I see." Lillian didn't seem as convinced about her plan as she was, but she shot Ivelle a smile. It slipped off her face quickly, leaving her looking wan and nervous.

"Be careful, Ivelle. Don't let your guard down, and definitely don't trust the things he says. He's very... unpredictable."

"Don't worry – so am I." Ivelle winced. That hadn't sounded as reassuringly suave as she'd meant it to. Hurriedly, she amended, "And by that, I mean he'll never predict that I'm spying on him!"

She winked.

"Now, d'you have some coins I can borrow? I need to make a quick run to the drugstore."

~*~

Yes, this was maybe a bit of a filler chapter, but fear not! Eirifold will be back in the next chapter! And the shenanigans shall continue.

Words: 16,961

This week's recommendation is Sallymason1's fun, sexy, and clever paranormal novella, "Between." Featuring a woman doomed for purgatory, two hot brooding demons, and some epic world-building, this is definitely one you won't want to miss!